AN: Kind of a stream of consciousness thing, I don't know how well it worked. Title came from 'Check Yes Juliet," by We The Kings.

Wanting things he couldn't achieve himself had never been Dean's style. He didn't go for wishful thinking, barely had any faith in anything other than Sam.

His life sucked, there was no pretending otherwise. His thirty something years had consisted of nothing but pain and blood.

But he had his brother and he knew that was all he had a right to need.

His mind went unbidden to the angel just returned to him and already taken away. The best friend he'd never deserved.

Even though things seemed more dire than ever he felt something he'd rarely felt before.

Hope.