A/N: The idea for this kind of just popped into my head, so I made something out of it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Law and Order: SVU.

The smell of the spaghetti sauce cooking in the pot to the right of me is delightful. I'd been quite surprised with myself the first time I'd cooked something edible. I'd had Alex over for dinner. I had cooked breaded chicken and she went wild for it. I asked her, "Since when am I a good cook?" and she was just as surprised as me. I raise a single spaghetti noodle out of the boiling water with the wooden spoon and place it in my mouth, testing if it was soft enough to eat, which it is. I stop stirring the spaghetti and turn off the stove completely. I take the noodle pot to the waiting colander in the sink. As I dump the contents of the pot into the colander, I feel a pair of strong hands on either sides of my waist. I crane my neck back to see my husband, David Haden, and his waiting lips. I set the now empty pot on the counter and turn around to kiss him. He has to lean into me a little, because he's a few inches taller than me.

"Is dinner ready?" he asks, pulling our lips apart.

"I was just about to call everyone to the table now," I tell him, matter-of-factly. I pick up the colander and rerun the spaghetti to it the original pot it used to boil it. "Calvin, Elliot, Sammy, and Jess! Dinner!" I call, summoning our four kids to the table. Calvin comes down first, carrying his iPhone, which stays with him always.

If you're wondering, my Calvin is Calvin Arliss, or now, Calvin Haden. But, my point is that he's the small boy who was ripped from my grasp right before Elliot had left SVU. It wasn't long before Child Protective Services had placed him back in my care, as Vivian had instructed them to do. He is the 2nd oldest, at 16, and he's been back with me for 6 and a half years.

The girls, Jessica and Samantha, come down after their brother. Jessica, or Jess, as she prefers, is the oldest of the family, aged 17. She has her nose buried in another book; typical of her. From what I can see, she's reading something from The Hunger Games series.

Samantha is close behind Calvin, aged 15 and a half. She prefers Sammy, to her father's slight disapproval, because he was the one who had named her. She is humming as she sits down at the table. I know the song to be "What Makes You Beautiful", by One Direction.

The girls aren't mine, but I treat them as if they are. They are David's daughters from his previous marriage. We have them this week, though.

I sigh, still waiting for my youngest to join us. "Elliot Jason!" I call again, hoping he'll actually listen this time.

"Mom, I'm coming! Relax!" he says as he casually saunters into the kitchen. He's my baby, but growing up fast. To my disbelief, he's already 12 years old. He's really interested in doing what I do: He wants to be a Special Victims Unit Detective. I'm so proud to hear that, but it just makes everything so much harder. Choosing not to think about this right now, I look over at the girls and notice the annoyance growing on Jess's face, caused by her sister's humming while she's trying to read.

"Sammy, can you knock that off, please?" Jess snaps at Sammy.

Sammy seems to ponder for a moment, building up an answer. "No," she answers briefly, and continues on to hum the chorus of the song. Elliot takes his seat, and so does David. By now, I've transferred the pasta to a large bowl, added a few dabs of sauce in, and mixed it. I bring it to the center of our table, which seats all of us: a maximum of six. David and I sit across from each other, at either short side of the table. Calvin and Elliot sit on the right side of the table, Calvin on the left and Elliot on the right, their backs to the French doors, leading to the deck. The girls, obviously, sit on the left side, Jess on the left and Sammy on the right, their backs to the wall.

"Calvin, Jessica, put your stuff down for dinner please," David orders. Reluctantly, Calvin clicks the top button on his phone, blackening the screen, and sets it on the table. Everyone gets their turn to fill their plates, starting with Calvin, then Elliot, then Jessica, then Sammy, then me, and lastly, David.

"How was everyone's day?" I ask, engaging the family in a typical dinner conversation.

"Good," Elliot replied.

"Fine," David replied.

"Okay," Jessica replied.

"Awesome!" Calvin exclaimed.

"And why is that, sweetie?" I ask, delving deeper into his reply.

"I kissed Jeanette today," he says proudly, referring to his girlfriend

"Oh my God!" Jess and Sammy squeal.

"Oh, honey, that's great!" I congratulate.

"That's my boy," David chuckles.

"Alright, bro!" Elliot congratulates, giving him a fist bump.

"Sammy, how was your day?" I ask.

"Cool. We did this thing in English class today, we looked up what our name means," she says. My breath gets caught in my throat, and I'm not anticipating the coming conversation.

"Did you use Sammy or Samantha?" David asks.

"Sammy. It means 'God Heard'. It's confusing but kind of cool."

"Really cool!

'Aw crap' I think, still dreading the impending discussion.

"Mom," Elliot says to me. "How did I get my name?"

I feel so bad, but... he just wouldn't understand his namesake. I share a look with David, and being married for 11 years can teach a man to read his wife's facial expression. I feel a wave of panic. Just then, my iPhone begins to ring.

Never have I been so thankful to Cragen in my entire life. He may be in his 70s, and he doesn't go out on cases much anymore, but he's still a great captain.

"Benson," I answer. Cragen tells me that our latest perp, Orlando Leighton had a gun to Amaro's head and I needed to get down there to help him and Rollins.

I sigh and accept, because I have to. "Guys, I have to go help Uncle Nick and Aunt Amanda. "

"Mom! Mom! Can I come? Please?" Elliot begs me. I hate to see him beg, but I can't take him for two reasons: I'm not allowed, and it's too dangerous.

"Sorry, buddy... I'm not allowed."

"I get it," he frowns. I ruffle his hair and kiss the top of his head. Then, I kiss Calvin's head. I blow kisses to each of the girls, and plant a big fat kiss on David's lips.

"Love you, guys," I call behind me, grabbing my jacket, gun and badge, placing it in the holster on my belt, which I still had yet to take off, but never did. I put my badge chain around my neck and jump in my car. As I drive to the scene of the issue, I reflect on my pathetic reasons not to tell my son why we named him Elliot. I'm a grown-up... I'm 54. I haven't seen or heard from Elliot Stabler since he left. I feel so disgusted with myself that I had to name my son the exact name as Elliot just to feel close to him. I just miss him every day, more and more. If course the girls and Calvin caught on about where his name came from, but I'd sworn the girls to secrecy the day he was born and swore Calvin to secrecy the day he came back into our lives. David, however, wasn't exactly thrilled with my choice of name, but understood that Elliot and I had never had closure, and supported me.

A/N: Love it? Like it? Hate it? Should I keep it? Scrap it? Add to it?