Disclaimer: The Mass Effect franchise and its characters belong to Bioware. Celia Shepard is all mine. Enjoy!
Shepard sat at her desk in her cabin looking at the newest name she needed to add to the memorial wall on the crew deck. Thane Krios had died a hero to stop the Cerberus coup on the Citadel. She sat contemplating the conversations they had had during the mission to stop the Collectors; about his wife, his son, his beliefs. She would miss him, he had been a confidante to her for the months they had spent together, her best friend. She had told him everything: how she felt about Cerberus, how she'd felt having her heart ripped out and stomped on by Kaidan on Horizon, how frustrated she was that the Alliance and the Council were stonewalling her. And they had commiserated over her guilt at destroying an entire colony to delay the reapers.
She sighed, and combed her fingers through her long brown hair, before expertly and efficiently twisting it into a bun and securing it. She stood and grasped the small plaque and walked over to the door. She was surprised when she found Kaidan standing on the other side, looking a bit like a schoolboy caught peeping into the girl's locker room. "Hey, Commander. Thought you might like some company," he finally said.
She tilted her head and studied him silently for a minute, looking intently into those amber brown eyes, looking for…she wasn't sure what she was looking for. "I would love some, actually, but I need to take care of this first." She swallowed hard when she held up the plaque. "He deserves it," she murmured.
"Ah, Celia, I'm so sorry," Kaidan mumbled, and brought a comforting hand to her shoulder, drawing her close. "Would you like some help?"
"No," she breathed, "No, I need to take care of this myself. But I wouldn't mind if you wait for me up here. We can talk when I get back." She rested her head briefly on his shoulder before moving towards the elevator. "I'd like that," she heard him say to her back as the elevator doors closed behind her.
She rode down to the crew deck and found Garrus waiting for her in front of the memorial wall. "Hell of a day, Shepard."
"Yeah, things got a little tense for a while there," she said as she moved some names around and put Thane's plaque into place.
"I'm just glad Kaidan backed down. I have a question though, could you do it?"
"I don't see how, if we go around killing friends, that turns war into murder, doesn't it?" she turned to face Garrus, and gave him a small smile as he studied her.
"I'm happy for you, Shepard." Garrus said quietly. "That Kaidan is back on the ship. You seem more…relaxed."
She gave him a real smile at that, "Thank you, Garrus, you're a good friend." She turned towards the elevator, and heard Garrus say, "If he hurts you again like he did on Horizon, I have a thermal clip with his name on it!"
She shook her head, and called, "I've never needed an older brother!" as the elevator doors closed. She smiled as she rode back up to her cabin. She found Kaidan sitting at her desk studying her model ships. "Do you ever miss her?" he indicated the model of the SR1 and handed her a glass of whiskey he had poured for her while he waited.
She rested against her desk beside him, her leg just brushing his thigh. "I do. Things seemed different, easier somehow." She laughed, "It wasn't, of course. It was hell, flying by the seat of our pants, chasing a rogue Spectre, and his dreadnought." She sipped at her drink and surprised both of them by seating herself on his lap. "I've missed having you to talk to," she said softly, draping her arms over his shoulders.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, "I missed you too, Shepard." He sighed, "I hope we can move on with this, I've missed you and me being us." He rubbed a soothing hand up and down her back, and smiled as she leaned into him. "Do you want to tell me about Thane?"
"Hmm…" she mumbled and slowly stood up. "I'd like that, but first, let me put on my sweats. I just need to relax for a bit." She turned around to find Kaidan staring at her. She smiled at went down the stairs towards her drawers and pulled one open.
"By all means, feel free to change into something more…comfortable," he followed her down the stairs and raised an eyebrow as he sat down on the sofa in her sitting area. He heard her suppressed chuckle of laughter as she made quick work of her uniform and stood in her Alliance-issue sports bra and panties. His mouth went dry as he gazed longingly at her sleek form, long slender legs, trim waist, and the muscular abs that showed him she had been hitting the gym hard in the last year. He swallowed hard as she pulled the soft grey sweatpants up and over her hips. She walked back towards the sofa, and snagged a hoodie that was draped over the back of a chair and dragged that on as well.
She sat beside him, and pulled on a pair of fluffy wool socks. "My feet are always cold," she explained, "One day, when this is all over, we're going some place tropical, and we're going to frolic naked in the sun. I'm going to get burned to a crisp, but it will be worth it, because my feet will be warm." She leaned into him and made a contented sound when he put his arm around her and hugged her close.
"Naked, huh?" he whispered into her ear. He chuckled when he felt her shiver against him, "Sounds nice."
"Are you flirting with me, Major?" she asked, and poked him in the chest.
"Ouch," he said, more because she expected it than because it hurt, "I'm obviously out of practice." He brought one hand up and cupped her face, "I've missed this, too," he said, and brought his lips down to capture hers. The kiss was soft and sweet, and he could taste the hint of whiskey on her lips, of vanilla and smoke. She sighed against his lips and he swept in with his tongue, delving into her wet heat. Her fingers fisted in his hair and she gave a gentle tug, as his hands encircled her waist and dragged her onto his lap. With a groan, he broke the kiss and tugged the zipper of her hoodie down a few inches, and pressed his lips to her exposed collarbone, applying gentle suction. She writhed in his lap, and moaned her pleasure, feeling him smile against her throat.
"That's gonna leave a mark," she complained, and captured his lips with hers. She sucked gently on his bottom lip and smiled as he groaned again. She trailed kisses down his throat, and licked the divot in the center of his throat. She pulled away from him and held his heated gaze. "This isn't going slow, is it?"
He watched her as she licked her lips and worried her bottom lip with her straight, white teeth. "Is that what you want? To take this slowly?"
She leaned back a little and studied him, but kept her arms around his neck, "I'm not sure. I know I want this, you - us. But I worry if we take this too fast…"
He gently rubbed her back, "I know, and I agree."
"But-," she said, raising an eyebrow.
"But we don't know how much time we'll have left," he whispered fiercely, pulling her into a rough embrace. "We held a gun on each other just a few hours ago, for God's sake." His voice was husky and a bit harsh and Shepard couldn't help but be extremely turned on. "I believe in you, Celia. In us, and what we're fighting for and that we'll be successful. But we could die tomorrow, and I don't know how much time we'll have left. I don't want to regret not being with you while there is still time."
He let go of her as she moved to stand. He watched silently as she prowled around the room. He knew she was thinking, and she did her best thinking on her feet. He refilled their glasses while he waited. "Kaidan, I – I want you, as my partner, my helpmate, my bedmate," she said suggestively, and waggled her eyebrows at him, "But it can't affect the mission."
"Please, Shepard, it didn't affect it last time, and we're both professionals. We know what is at stake." He stood and moved to her, and put his hands on her slender waist. "I love you, Shepard. I just need you to know that."
She sighed, and tilted her head up to kiss him. "For tonight, let's just talk, ok?"
Kaidan nodded and led her back to the sofa and pulled her into his lap. "Tell me about Thane."