Destroyed From The Inside
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Anakin awoke to screams again. He climbed out of his bed quickly and threw on a random shirt that was slumped over his chair. She was having another nightmare. This had been going on for over a week now. He was starting to get worried.
He looked almost as bad as Ahsoka. Dark bags circled his eyes and his face had lost colour over the past few days. Every night he'd wake up to her screams, and he'd come into to her room and find her curled up in the covers of her bed, screaming and shouting for help.
When he asked her what her dreams were about, she'd either tell that 'it didn't matter' or she 'didn't remember'. Of course he didn't believe her, but he remembered that she was just as stubborn as he was.
He needed to find out was up with his Padawan soon, however. This had been going on for too long, and she was starting to get ill.
He'd also noticed little scratches and bruises just randomly forming on her body. She'd go to bed, then in morning she'd have a wound on her body.
At first he was suspicious that it was self-harm, but then he'd seen bruises and scratches on her back, and he knew that she couldn't have done that herself. Maybe someone was doing it to her. He didn't know; she wasn't telling him anything.
"Shhh, Ahsoka it's okay, it's alright…" He tried to calm her down but she just kept screaming and clutching her pillow tightly. She clawed at the pillow with her nails, almost tearing the fabric. Anakin shook her shoulder firmly and waited for her to stop thrashing about. A minute or so later she jolted awake. Anakin was convinced that she'd woken herself up by screaming.
Just as her eyes started to flutter open, the Knight noticed a small bottle containing pills on her bedside table. It was almost empty. Frowning, he picked them up and read the back of it, but he could only see the first line because Ahsoka's room was dark, as it was still dark outside.
"Ahsoka…" He said to the teenager, who sat up, rubbing her exhausted, droopy eyes, "What are these for?"
Yawning and not bothering to put a hand over her mouth, his Apprentice replied, "They're just pills, Master; to help me sleep better."
"They're obviously not working very well – and how come I didn't know about this?" She was his Apprentice; the doctors needed his permission.
"They are working, Master. And well, you weren't here, and neither was Master Obi-Wan or Plo, so I had to get them myself." She lied. She yawned again, but this time covered it. Why wouldn't Anakin just leave? She just wanted to sleep…that's all she wanted, but her mind wouldn't let her. The nightmares wouldn't go away.
"Well, if they're working, why do you wake up screaming every single night?" He needed to find out what was wrong with her now. The nightmares, the mysterious wounds, everything.
"I'm just…testing you're awareness."
"Ahsoka," He told her firmly, "this is serious. You're waking up every night screaming and you can't sleep. Everyone knows there's something up with you. No offence, Ahsoka, but you look like a zombie because you're that tired. You're going to get ill…no, you are getting ill."
"Master, it's just a phase, it'll go away soon…now please, will you leave me alone so I can get some sleep? You should, too; you look like you need it." With that she turned onto her side, pulled the covers up to her chin and closed her eyes.
Though, she was terrified. She knew that the minute she fell asleep the nightmares would come back to torture her even more. Why was this happening?
Sure, she'd been through a phase of nightmares and visions before; most Jedi do. It's like a regular thing. But this was different. They were so real. Even more so than her visions about Aurra Sing.
All she wanted was to just pick up her problems and toss them onto someone else. She knew it sounded selfish, but she just couldn't deal with them. She was already so stressed with the war and she had other things to do, like work in class and training. That was already enough to deal with, but the added burden wasn't helping at all.
She'd been skipping classes, too. Not often, just a few. She was trying to find out what was going on and why she was having these nightmares. So far, she'd found nothing, but she was sure that there was some sort of explanation to it. There had to be. Master Skywalker hadn't found out yet, when he did… Ahsoka didn't really want to think about that now. She just wanted sleep.
She knew that they couldn't be visions; the Son and Daughter were both dead, as was their Father. There was no way they could come back. They were dead. Yet she almost always dreamt about them. There were a few occasions where she didn't, or they'd only appear in her dreams for a short amount of time, but the majority of her nightmares they were there, mainly the Son.
She was so exhausted. She was sore from the random cuts and bruises that appeared on her body, she was tired from the lack of sleep. As if fighting in a war wasn't stressful enough. She didn't need this…she'd already got a lot of weight on her shoulders – she was a Commander in the Republic Army for Force's sake! – But this extra burden was too much to handle.
The anxiety and fear she felt before falling asleep was horrible. The nightmares got worse and worse every night. And her body and all the wounds…who knew what Anakin thought. He'd probably thought she was getting abused by someone or something stupid like that…
"Ahsoka, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on."
Sighing dramatically, Ahsoka sat up, "It's nothing, Anakin! Just a little phase of nightmares, okay? And before you ask, no, they're not visions. Like I said, they're just stupid childish nightmares. I'm sure you got them when you were my age, now please, let me sleep."
"Okay then, but I will find out what's going on, whether you tell me or not." He got up out of the chair and returned to his own room. Things were so complicated now. Ahsoka was getting sick, and he knew there was something wrong with her, but she refused to tell him anything. That was something he didn't really like about her much; she was way too stubborn.
In her room, Ahsoka bit her nails worriedly. Anakin was catching on. She couldn't hide what was going on for much longer. She was convinced that he'd send her to the medbay soon. She also knew that he'd seen the random wounds on her body; almost everyone had seen them.
Everyone else didn't know where they came from; but neither did she. She just woke up with them. The Togruta was starting to get increasingly worried and scared. The nightmares were taking over her. They got worse and worse every night.
She'd considering talking to Master Yoda about it but she was sure that even he wouldn't know what was wrong. She'd have to find out on her own. She didn't really want anyone's help either; she didn't want their pity.
Soon, she found herself drifting off to sleep…
… … … … … … … … …
Dark.
It was so dark. Pitch black. She couldn't see a thing.
She tried to use the Force to feel her surrounding but…it wasn't there. She couldn't feel anything. It was like the Force had just left her… It had just disappeared. What had happened? It couldn't be gone.
Panic settled over her. The Force was gone! She couldn't feel anything! Was she not Force-sensitive anymore…?
She didn't know what she was more worried about. The Force leaving her or the fact she couldn't see a thing, and the only noise she could hear was the cold wind whistling menacingly…
Even without the Force, she had a bad feeling…like something was going to happen.
There was a flash.
It was blinding white, and Ahsoka had to cover her eyes, but she swore she saw a tall, dark figure about twenty metres away.
Another blinding flash. The figure got closer. Complete darkness surrounded her again.
Gasping, Ahsoka backed away. She tried to reach out in the Force again, but again, she felt nothing. There was nothing. She felt as if she were just a normal person now. She wanted to Force back!
Another flash. Closer.
Ahsoka wanted to run. She was scared. However, it seemed as if her limbs wouldn't obey her. She was stuck, frozen in place. Even if she did run, she had no idea where she was going. It was pitch black.
Flash. Closer.
Her heart rate sped up increasingly. Her breathing became rapid. Why couldn't she move?
RUN, her mind screamed at her. RUN RUN RUN RUN.
Flash. Closer.
The figure was in front of her, their masked face staring into her fear-filled eyes. Gasping, Ahsoka fell backwards and landed hard on the ground. She had no idea what the surface was, but it was hard and it kriffing hurt.
Another blinding flash, but the figure did not move. It stood over her, black, menacing eyes staring right into hers. The cold wind brushed against her hot cheeks, sending a shiver down her spine.
Then everything was quiet.
Ahsoka moved to cover her montrals when a high pitched scream sounded. She squeezed her eyes shut from the pain, and when she opened them again, the figure was gone. She blinked, and when she opened her eyes again a split second later, the masked face was nose to nose with her.
She screamed, but a hand closed around her throat roughly. She couldn't breathe. The hand was clutching her throat so tightly, the long fingers digging into her skin,
Another flash and all she saw around her were her friends and people she considered family. The hand around her throat had gone, as had the figure, but she'd rather look them in the eyes than see what she was seeing now. All the people that were around her were all covered in blood. Anakin, Rex, Padmé, all her friends. They all had terrible wounds, and she wanted to help them, but she couldn't move. It was as if she had been glued to the ground. Once again, she was frozen.
"You will regret messing with the Force, little one."
… … … … … … … … …
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Ahsoka shot up, sweat pouring down her face and back. You'll regret messing with the Force. She knew these dreams had a meaning… Now she was determined to find out what was going on. Those words that had been spoken in her dream confirmed that something was not right.
Ahsoka sighed in relief when she could feel the Force again. She could feel Anakin's presence in the other room, so she knew the Force was back. It had felt so…strange without the Force. She had felt vulnerable and kind of…naked. The Force was a part of her. The Force basically made up who she was. She was a Jedi because of the Force, and being a Jedi was who she was. She didn't want to lose the Force again…it was terrible.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
"Hey, Snips!" Anakin called from the living room, "Are you gonna turn off that alarm clock or are you gonna just sit there and let it beep all day?"
She hadn't even realised that it had been beeping. Maybe that's what brought her out of her nightmare…
Ahsoka reached over and slammed her hand on the alarm. "Sorry, Master!" She yelled. That must have been really annoying. It was seven in the morning. She had work to do.
Ahsoka climbed out of her bed, rubbing her eyes and yawning. She hadn't gotten much sleep, which wasn't a surprise. Those kriffing pills weren't working. Maybe the medbay would have some stronger ones…
Ahsoka walked to the refresher and stood in front of the mirror. Her eyes widened. In the mirror, staring back at her was the dark figure from her dream. She blinked and rubbed her eyes vigorously. When she opened them again, he was gone, but what she saw shocked and frightened her just as much.
This was impossible.
Ahsoka raised a trembling hand to touch the dark, hand shaped bruise on her neck…
… … … … … … … … …
Ahhh, I know, a terrible, bad, crappy ending but meh, at least I actually updated! So sorry about all the late updates, but good for you, I'm back in action. I'm working on this story and Attachments, and Togruta slaves of the Republic at the moment. I'M BACK, BABY!
Updates will probably still be pretty slow, on most of my stories. Got prom soon, I have loads of texts and stuff, so I'm pretty busy. I am currently working on two school projects too. But eh, they can wait, you guys are more important.
I want to thank all of you who read my other story Broken, and also the people who reviewed it. I cannot tell you how happy I was with all the feedback! I've never had so many reviews before! I was getting roughly 20 reviews a chapter. Thank you all so much. Honestly, I cannot tell you how much it means to me.
Anyway, hope you liked this chapter…please review?