Disclaimer: Sadly, I do NOT own the show "Lost". However, I do own my Original Character ( Kennedy White ), as well as her background, and her plot on the island.

Author's note: First, I want to apologize because I was hoping to have this chapter done two days ago, but my grandmother isn't doing so well and I need to spend as much time with her as I can. That being said, the updates might be kinda slow, but I'll try my best to work on chapters every day. Thanks for all the support you guys, and I really hope you like this chapter!

{Kennedy's POV}

I wasn't sure what Jack and Sayid whispered about for a moment, but I had a clue by the way the darker man shook his head the same way Jack had and then turned and seemed to glare at me. He must have gotten the hint that I wasn't going to leave. Maybe he might have realized that I didn't care too much for him, or maybe it was something else. I got the feeling that Sayid didn't like me very much either. Good. I'd learned by now that being in anyone's good favor didn't get you far on this damned island.

I watched the two with an angry stare, hoping to make this a lot harder on them. Sayid took a bottle that had been cut in half to make a cup and filled it with water before splashing it into Sawyer's face. The man tied to the tree suddenly came to life and shook his head that had just been soaked. His wet locked stuck to the side of his face as he blinked and looked right up at the darker man.

It wasn't until then that I saw the blood, which was still fairly fresh, running down the left his of his face and down his neck. I suppose that might explain how he was unconscious, but the sight of so much blood sent an unnerving chill down my spine. It was really setting in just how horrible this was going to be. What if there was going to be more blood? Much more?

I swatted that kind of thinking away quickly. I couldn't get squeamish now. I had to be here to make sure Sawyer didn't get hurt. But at the moment, all I could do was hope that he would give in and tell Jack where he was keeping the medicine.

"Well, ain't you the brave one. Jumpin' a guy while he's nappin'." Sawyer grumbled.

Sayid didn't say anything, but from where I was standing I could see the cold look in his dark eyes. I hated that man. I don't think I really hated anyone or anything, at least not as much as I hated him.

"Uh oh, I'm in trouble now ain't I?" I could just barely hear Sawyer's smart ass remark as he and Jack look each other in the eye.

I felt like Sawyer wasn't helping himself by no means, but he hadn't had time to let things sink in. Or maybe he really didn't give a shit. My heart beat quickened as Jack walked closer to Sawyer and knelt in front of him.

"Sawyer, we gave you the chance to do the right thing." I wasn't surprised that he tried to justify what they were about to do. "All I want is the asthma medicine. Just tell me where the inhalers are and we'll stop."

Please, tell him. Please, just get it over with. I pleaded with Sawyer in my head. He might not give a damn, but I do. I didn't want to watch them torture him no matter what he did. And I didn't want to think this way. I didn't want to look like the hopeless love-sick girl who thought I might have a chance with someone like Sawyer. I didn't love Sawyer. In fact, I was still pissed off about my suitcase and the way he treated me and confused me. But I did care about him, to an extent.

"Stop what, chico? Sawyer growled.

As if on cue, Jack, Sawyer, and I turned our attention to Sayid who looked to be sharpening the ends of a few sticks to a point. My stomach dropped. What the hell is he going to do with those? I didn't want to know the answer, but I was about to find out anyway.

"It doesn't have to be this way." Jack turned back to Sawyer.

I wish now that I would have stood somewhere a little further away from the blonde's sight range, because when he turned and glanced at me, I felt my stomach rising straight up to my throat. I was quick to avert my eyes, but I caught a glimpse of his burning glare. Whether it was directed at me or if he was just angry in general, I wasn't sure.

"Yeah it does." With those few words any hope I had in Jack's smooth sailing idea went right out the door.

I felt myself panicking, but I tried to stay as calm as my body would allow. Whatever happened next wouldn't be good and I needed to prepare myself for it. Sure wish I would have saved that half of a cigarette I'd found when we first crashed.

"We do not have bamboo in Iraq, although we do have something similar: reeds. But their effect is the same, when the chutes are inserted underneath the fingernails."Sayid's voice shoved me harshly back into reality and I looked up to see him in front of Sawyer now.

I took deep breathes and blinked to keep myself from repeated the incident that happened on the beach several mornings ago. Instinctively, I cringed and curled my hands up into fists to hide my own fingernails.

"You know what I think, Ahli? I think you've never actually tortured somebody in your life." I bit my lip at Sawyer's words. Why did he have to make it worse for him? I was starting to believe that he was getting some kind of joy from this.

"Unfortunately for us both, you're wrong."

Sayid jumped up and positioned himself behind Sawyer. Again, my eyes fell my feet and within a few seconds I heard a painful grunt. My heart was racing, my face felt hot. Stop. Please, stop. Jack, make him stop it. Sawyer's panting and groans of pain burned my ears.

"That's it? That's all you got? Splinters?" Again, he had to taunt and instigate. "No wonder we kicked your ass in the gul-" Sawyer cried out this time.

It was a long, agonizing cry that shot right through me and rattled my body. I couldn't breathe, I'd had enough.

"Jack." I called. It was my plea for him to stop.

"Sayid." Jack's voice was drowned out by Sawyer's. "Sayid!"

Finally, Sawyer's cries died down. The dark-skinned man stood, holding a knife in his right hand.

"No, don't stop now." I heard Sawyer mutter under his breath. "I think my sinuses are clearin'."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jack practically read my mind.

"Perhaps losing an eye will loosen your tongue." Sayid grabbed a handful of blonde hair and pulled Sawyer's face closer to the knife.

"Stop. Stop!" I shouted.

My legs were shaky as I went towards Sayid. But Jack was suddenly in front of me, blocking me from the one person who's brains I wanted to beat to mush. He took hold of my shoulders either to hold me back or to hold me up.

"Make him stop, Jack! Make him stop!" My tears were hot as boiling water as they ran carelessly down my face.

"Okay! Okay." Sawyer finally gave in. The tightness in my airway relaxed slowly.

"Where is it?"

"The only person I'll tell is her." Sawyer's eyes met mine, but this time I had no control to look away.

The only response was the silent glances that Jack and Sayid made at me and then at each other. Surely, I hadn't heard it right. Why did I have to be dragged in the middle of things when all I wanted was my damn suitcase?

"That's the deal." The blonde growled, his attention turned back to Jack.

Again, no one had anything to say. If I could muster a sound, I would've made an objection or something. But catching my breath was enough trouble. I felt Jack's hand on my shoulder and I looked up at him.

"You don't have to." Jack assured me, but I already knew that I had no choice. I didn't care, the worst of it was over.

"I-I can." My voice was quiet and raspy, almost inaudible. So I nodded at Jack just to be sure that he understood.

There was hardly any time for me to pull myself together as Jack and Sayid walked away. I was alone with Sawyer, vulnerable again. I had nothing to be afraid of, he was tied to a tree. But his eyes were what got to me. They could see right through me, crush me under the pressure of their gaze. Needless to say that my head stayed down as I went to stand in front of him.

I could feel Sawyer's eyes on me, but I didn't offer to return the gesture. I kept my elbows cupped in my hands, my eyes stuck to the damp jungle floor. I wanted him to go ahead and tell me wherever those inhalers were so I could leave.

"So, are you going to tell me?" I finally asked.

"Be happy to, as soon as I get that kiss." Those words made my breath hitch and my limbs tense.

"Don't do that." I muttered in my still-raspy voice.

"Do what?"

"Sawyer, I don't want to fight." I got up the courage to finally look him in the eye. He chuckled, though I didn't find it the least bit funny.

"Red, if I wanted to piss you off I could do a lot worse than ask for one, little kiss." I could see a smirk form at the corner of his mouth.

I had to give him that one, he could do much worse. But why didn't he? He had nothing to gain from kissing me, except the pleasure of confusing me once more. Though, I don't see why he would go through all that trouble.

"Why don't you ask Kate? I'm sure she wouldn't turn down your offer." I said smugly, lowering my gaze.

"I didn't ask Freckles. I asked you." I could sense that cocky grin as he chuckled.

"Why?" I looked Sawyer in the eye again, keeping my expression clear of any desperation I was feeling.

"Red, we could do this all day. But the fact of the matter is there's a girl up in that cave who can't breathe, all because you're too afraid of a kiss." There was no remorse, just a hint of urgency in his words.

I wasn't ready to give in just yet. There was still the matter of my belongings in question.

"And my suitcase?"

"Yeah, about that." Sawyer looked away with a strange grin on his face.

"Yeah, about that." I repeated in a colder tone. "What are you doing with it?"

"If it makes ya feel any better, I didn't open it." That was a lie.

"Bullshit. Boone found my picture right next to the suitcase." I took the photograph out of my pocket and showed it to him. "I doubt it magically flew open and this was the only thing that fell out."

"Well, you done caught me red-handed, ain't ya?" Sawyer's grin faded back into a smirk.

"It's not funny. You had no business with it. There's nothing in there that is worth anything to anyone except me." My emotions were flaring again, but betrayal was the strongest of them.

What little trust I'd once had toward Sawyer was gone, had been shredded to pieces. I didn't want to believe it, but I knew he had seen more than just that one picture. My life's story became an open book, and knowing Sawyer, he wouldn't hesitate to snoop.

"If you're going to say anything, just tell me why you took it." I sighed, feeling myself reaching mental exhaustion.

"Let's call it insurance." Sawyer answered, his sea-colored eyes narrowed as if there were some kind of deep meaning to it.

"What?" I was struck by a brick wall of confusion, which I think was his intention.

"Listen, my offer stands. I'm afraid that's all I got to say." He said, his left brow was cocked up as if to say he meant business now. Either he got the kiss or I left with nothing.

It's just one kiss. Just one and you get your stuff back and Shannon gets her inhalers. It wasn't a horrible compromise, and I knew deep down how I truly felt about kissing Sawyer. Even now, I still wanted to. Maybe the desire wasn't as strong as it was a few days ago, but it was there. I was angry at myself for it, but I allowed myself the excuse that there was no other way.

"Fine." I whispered as if I was in a state of defeat.

There was almost a hint of surprise on Sawyer's face. I was too concerned with the whirlwind my insides were going through to wonder if it was genuine. My eyes didn't leave the ground and my feet were like lead as I moved closer. As soon as I felt I was close enough I brought myself onto my knees, not daring to trust in my balance to lean down. I had to keep reminding myself to breathe, even then they were shaky gasps. I don't think I'd ever felt so mechanical as I did now.

I wanted everything to stop, or slow down at least. Even at this snail pace I was keeping, it all seemed to be going too fast. And for a split second, I lost the restraint I had to not look at him. I saw those eyes that I was once desperate to see, then hated, and now I don't know. There seemed to be a sadness about them. That's when I noticed that the smirk Sawyer loved to wear was gone.

As I began to lean toward him, I closed my eyes and was determined to keep them that way until it was all over. I instantly started praying that I didn't miss. This was it, the point of no return. I was close enough to feel his breath, then there was the warmth of his mouth and his scratchy stubble against my chin. Sawyer's lips moved slowly on mine although I was in too much of a shock to do anything. Turns out, I didn't know what shock was until his tongue grazed my motionless lips. This made me suck in a breath and as my lips parted, Sawyer's tongue slipped into my mouth. And he sure was slow about it, taking his precious time. I felt like I was the one being tortured now.

It didn't feel real, but it was too real all at the same time. My mouth must have gotten a mind of its own because my lips finally started moving. This one little kiss had turned into something much more. The faint taste of blood on his bottom lip was intoxicating. It was too much. I was going to drive myself crazy if I didn't stop.

I found some strength that hadn't been totally consumed and tore my lips away. My eyes were still closed when my hand went to my mouth, just to make sure that my lips were there. When my eyes opened I automatically looked to Sawyer. He was staring at me through his half-lidded eyes. Judging by his reaction, it mustn't have been too bad. But there was an anxious feeling in my gut as I waiting for him to say anything.

"I don't have it." He whispered.

"You don't have what?"

"That girl's medicine." It took me a minute to understand what he was talking about.

"What do you mean you don't have it? Then where is it?" Sadly, this was the least of my concern. If he didn't have it, then why would he make me kiss him? It didn't make sense not to me.

"I don't know, never did." Was his indifferent answer.

"But why? Why would you ask me to kiss-"

"Insurance." When that damn smirk curled at the corner of his lips, I got my real answer.

A kiss? That's what all this trouble was over? A kiss?! I couldn't believe it, or maybe I just didn't want to. Sawyer wouldn't go through this much trouble just to get a kiss out of me. It was a pathetic excuse even for him.

I jumped up and walked away, refusing to be fooled. I knew I was nothing but a game to him and that's all I would ever be. He got some kind of high or pleasure from teasing me, though I didn't know why. There were too many emotions buzzing around in my head that I didn't know if I should be man or hurt. Either way, I didn't stop until I found Jack and Sayid. They hadn't gone too far and I was a little worried that they might have heard any of the conversation between Sawyer and me.

Jack walked over to me, waiting for an answer as to where the medicine was, but I didn't have one. I wasn't sure how to break the news to him, so I just spit it out.

"He said he didn't have it." My voice came out as a timid little whisper.

"What?" Jack's voice boomed throughout the jungle compared to mine.

"She's lying. Can't you see that?" I heard Sayid and our glaring eyes met.

"What did you say?" I growled, surprised at how much stronger my voice was.

"She's had an alliance with him from the beginning. He's got her wrapped around his finger. He doesn't want us to get off this island, and she'll do anything he wants her to. That's why she attacked me."

I had no idea why he was accusing me of attacking him out there in the jungle, but was enough to send my hate towards him over the edge.

"I never attacked you, jihadi mother fucker!" I shouted, quickly shortening the distance between me and him. I was about to make his statement true. In my head, I couldn't help but notice how much I sounded like Sawyer just then.

"Hold on." Jack found his way between the two of us for the second time.

"Liar! One of you did it. One of you destroyed the transceiver!" Sayid suddenly bolted back into the jungle where Sawyer was, still holding that huge knife in his hand.

"You don't know that." Jack said, hurrying after him. "Sayid!"

I followed suit behind the doctor, but then I pushed past him. I was afraid of what Sayid was going to do, and it just fueled my anger and hate towards him that much more. I could see Sawyer again, tied to a tree and completely defenseless while the darker man came at him. That knife gleamed in the light in a horrible way as he got closer. Before I even had time to think about what I was doing, I ran at Sayid as hard as I could and jumped onto his back and wrapped my arms around his neck. Sayid didn't get a chance to fight me off when the blonde somehow freed himself and tackled the Iraqi, and me, to the ground.

The weight of two grown men crushing me into the rigid jungle floor was more than enough to knock the wind out of me. There was an unnatural cracking sound from my back as my vision instantly blurred and I lost the ability to breathe. Not a second too soon, the two rolled off of me and relieved the incredible pressure from my chest. I tried to gasp for air, but received none.

Thankfully, my vision gradually began to clear and Jack was quick to move me away from the scuffle. Then, he hurried back to Sayid and Sawyer. I rolled over onto my side easily enough, meaning that my spine was intact. But still, I was struggling to catch my breath. I had no concern for myself as my eyes tried to get a grip on the men tangled and rolling on the ground.

There was no time to register what happened when Sawyer cried out and writhed in what I could only imagine to be extreme pain. Sayid quickly stood and backed away and I could see the gleaming blade sticking out of the blonde's upper arm.

I didn't dare try to walk, but I crawled over beside Jack as he ripped the blade from the underside of Sawyer's arm. Blood started spewing out, too much blood.

"You hit an artery." Jack said as he stuck his fingers into the deep wound. "Stay still, damn it."

My own blood drained from my face and I went into a panic. I could only link one thought to the doctor's words: bleeding to death. No. No, no, no. It was everything I had to keep from vomiting any contents I had in my stomach.

"Sayid, I need my stuff from the caves. My leather backpack." Jack instructed. For a second, Sayid just stood there. "Go."

The darker man finally hurried out of sight.

"Jack, you can stop it, right? He's going to fine. Isn't he?" I started babbling out of control.

He didn't answer. I suspected that I was bothering his concentration, but I was frantic with worry. Sawyer was turning white before me and there was nothing I could do. And even though Jack was doing everything he to help him, I could see the hateful look in his purple-ringed eyes.

"Let go." He growled, his tone matched his expression: hateful. "I know you want to."

"Shut up, and stop moving." Jack eyed him.

"You've been waitin' for this, haven't ya? Need to be a hero again, 'cause that's what you do. Fix everything up all nice." I hoped that Sawyer was just loopy from blood loss, but the look in his eyes made me doubt that.

Why did he have to act that way? Maybe he just didn't know how much it hurt me to hear it. He didn't know much death had wrecked my life.

"Tell him to let go, Red. Tell him."

Tears threatened to spill over.

"Stop it, Sawyer." I muttered, struggling to choke back the waterworks.

"What? We already made out, what else I got to live for?" At this, Jack looked up at me questioningly. That was probably something that should have gone unmentioned.

Just asking for death wasn't working, so Sawyer was trying to push buttons. I knew that. But I didn't know if he just hated Jack enough, or if he really had a death wish.

"Hey Jack there's something you should know. If the tables were turned, I'd watch you die."

"Stop it! Damn it, Sawyer!" There was no hope in holding back the tears now.

What he was saying made the hole in my heart raw again.

xXx

"Okay, there's the legs." The dark-skinned woman began as she moved the ultrasound tool slowly around the lower part of my stomach.

I watched the monitor closely, though all the funny round shapes looked nothing like legs to me. But this appointment wasn't about seeing legs nor arms. I was here to find out the sex of the . . . I still wasn't comfortable with the word. In fact, I wasn't comfortable about this whole thing. I didn't want to know if it was a boy or girl. There was a fear that I just might get attached to it if I knew, and I didn't want that. All I wanted was for this to be over with so I could return to whatever shell of a life I had.

Christie sat in a chair beside me, her face was lit up with excitement for me as her eyes stayed glued to the monitor.

"Aww." She grinned brightly. Obviously, she was happy enough for both of us. "Aren't you excited?"

I nodded to her and smiled, but my stomach was churning.

"Alright, this is the genital region. This part may take a minute." The ultrasound technician said she started to move the tool carefully.

"Maybe it's too soon to tell. Can we just reschedule a few weeks from now?" I ask, hoping to get a good answer.

"Don't you worry, there's been plenty of time for that area to develop." The woman replied without taking her eyes off the screen.

Great. Just what I was hoping for. Christie must have sensed that I was feeling uneasy.

"Do you not want to know what your baby is? Or did you want to be surprised?" The blonde girl turned to me thoughtfully.

I took a moment to really think about it. Either way wasn't much better than the other. But maybe if I found out now, I would be able to notify the adoption agency sooner and get some of the information sorted out. And Christie was dying to know, so I wasn't going to spoil it.

"I think I'd rather know now." I gave her a reassuring smile. As I turned back to the monitor, I felt my new friend take my hand and hold it comfortingly.

"Alright, honey. You see that there?" The woman pointed at the screed where there was a nub in between the legs. "Looks like you're having a boy."

"Aww. Hi, baby boy!" Christie giggled ecstatically and made a small waving gesture at the monitor which had changed to show a better image of the fetus as a whole.

Now that I could get a better look, I was stunned at how much the blob of white and black contrast really looked like a baby. And despite my earlier attitude, I couldn't get over how tiny and cute it was. A cute little boy. That's what my baby was.

xXx

Most of the day had come and gone, but the hours dragged by slow enough. Sawyer passed out before Sayid made it back with Jack's backpack, but he was okay. Well, he survived at least. Jack worked silently and Sayid just stood there. Needless to say, neither of them said anything to me.

I couldn't shake the feeling that Jack was upset. This wasn't surprising, not after what Sawyer had said about the kiss. I don't think he was angry, except at Sawyer maybe. I think he was more disappointed with me more than anything. It was obvious that Sawyer and I were past the stage of acquaintances , but I think the two of us locking lips was the last thing anyone expected. Let's not forget, there was a bit of a gap in age.

I was now at Sawyer's shelter where Jack and Sayid hauled him back after it was safe to say that he wasn't going to bleed to death. He'd been asleep for about four hours, Jack said that would be normal and his body was resting to build his strength back. That was the only thing that the doctor said to me for the rest of the day. I didn't mind, I was a little more worried about Sawyer. I'm pretty sure that shown through clearly as well, seeing as how I hadn't left the shelter once.

While waiting for Sawyer to wake up, I kept myself occupied by searching through the spoils of his looting. I'd hoped that he might have brought my suitcase here just in case I decided to go searching through his secret stash which I had forgotten the location of anyway. Unfortunately, I found no trace of it.

After I checked two more times just to make sure I hadn't overlooked anything, I went back to sit by Sawyer. I tried not to pay attention to the stray glances that came my way from the others at the beach. None of them could possibly know about what happened between us in the jungle, so they could think whatever they wanted to.

I think I liked Sawyer better when he was asleep, at least then he was completely harmless. Although, it was a bit boring. I was so used to hearing him making his smart ass remarks, I missed them during these long hours. Every few minutes or so, I thought about when I kissed him despite all the effort I put into pushing it out of my head. The way he kissed me, it left me thinking in the back of my mind that maybe it wasn't just for the pleasure of teasing me. Maybe he did it because he wanted to. The fact that he called the medicine insurance almost seemed to support the latter.

Was that why he wouldn't tell anyone that he never had it in the first place? Could be so smart to know that it would lead to us kissing? No, probably not. But his earlier intentions may have evolved into that, especially when he saw how upset I was about my suitcase. It's like he knew how to push the right buttons to get exactly what he wanted. That letter suddenly came to mind.

I sat there for a moment, wondering if it was still in his pocket and if I could get to it without him waking up. Slowly, I slide off my seat and crawled over to him. I felt silly, but I felt paranoid about being sneaky. As I reached into the closest pocket on his jeans, I found it empty. Damn. I went for the other pocket. Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Curiosity didn't kill the cat. My fingers felt the corner of a piece of paper which I gently took hold of and carefully pulled out of the side pocket.

I was extra careful not to make any noise or quick movements as I crawled back to my seat. The envelope looked to have some years on it, but I was more concerned with what it contained. Sure enough, I found the piece of notebook paper and unfolded it quietly. Every word was just the way Kate had read it. The hand writing was too neat, like the way they tell you to when you're in elementary school. I read it twice, as if I was hoping to find something hidden between the lines. But nothing seemed to magically link together, it was just strange.

Any thought I had that Sawyer was using me to get something was losing its probability. He had my suitcase, there was nothing he could take from me. To my disappointment, there was nothing in the letter that would help me. I folded it back up carefully and placed it neatly back inside the wrinkled envelope. I turned it over to see a circular symbol on the flap. AMERICA'S BICENTENNIAL. KNOXVILLE, TENNESSEE 1976.

I was about to crawl back over and put it back into Sawyer's pocket when realization hit me. 1976? Obviously being the date that the letter was written, I noticed how it didn't add up. If the letter had been written to Sawyer in 1976, he'd be much older. But then, why was it written to him? Suddenly, I heard Sawyer start to rouse from his sleep. I was relieved and terrified at the same time, but there was no time to conceal the envelope. Looks like he isn't the only one getting caught red-handed today.

Sawyer's eyes found me, making me a sitting duck. Before I gave him a chance to say anything, I held out the envelope to him. Slowly, he took it, crumbling with middle of it in his fist. I expected him to yell at me or say something, but he didn't. He held the letter against his stomach and his eyes averted toward the ocean.

"Sawyer, how old are you?" I asked meekly.

This question must have eased any temper that was growing towards me because he cracked a humored smile.

"Thirty-six." He answered simply enough.

I was instantly doing the math in my head. The answer that I came to wasn't surprising.

"You were nine." At this, the smile on his face vanished.

I watched him roll his eyes as if I'd said something stupid. It made sense, I knew something I wasn't suppose to and now he was on the defense. That was okay, I was starting to figure out everything for myself.

"Did you write the letter?"

Sawyer was quiet, which I felt confirmed my suspicion. I watched him closely, counting the times he blinked. One . . . two, three. Four.

"I just thought . . . you know an awful lot about me now." I was looking at me feet now, feeling the silence swallowing me.

I wasn't going to get anywhere. Sawyer, or whoever he was, had already blocked me out. It was like running as fast as you can, right into a brick wall. I'd risked any kind of friendship that I had to defend him, to talk to him, to sit here and let him ignore me. There was pain gradually returning to my chest. I wasn't sure if it was from nearly being crushed to death earlier, or if it had to do with my emotions. Either way, it hurt.

"Sawyer was a confidence man." He finally spoke up. "Romanced my momma to get to the money. Wiped 'em out clean, left the mess behind."

There was a look in his eyes, like he was watching the memory play itself out in his mind. I was starting to regret asking anything about the subject.

"I wrote that letter, knowing one day I'd find him." His eyes were heavy with an emotion somewhere deep down inside.

"I'm sor-" I whispered.

"Oh, that ain't the sad part." He cut me off with a sarcastic suspense in his voice. "When I was nineteen, I needed six grand to pay off these guys I was in trouble with. So, I found a pretty lady with a dumb husband who had some money. And I got him to give it to me."

The way he spoke, it was like there was shame. Maybe that human being wasn't buried as deep as Kate thought. But then, he turned away. His guard was coming back up.

"How's that for a tragedy? I became the man I was huntin'. I became Sawyer." His eyes averted out towards the waves again.

There was an expectant silence that followed, like he was waiting for me to say something. But I didn't know if anything I said after that would make anything better, so I stayed quiet.

"Go." He grumbled and leaned towards his left side like he was putting his back to me.

I went from a person he almost trusted, to a nobody. I didn't give him a chance to say it again. He'd gotten what I suppose he wanted, and I left empty handed.

I walked down the beach, feeling completely lost. Having no friends was one thing, but when Sawyer turned his back on me that was a another story. We'd both pushed each other away before, but this time it seemed harder to walk away. It was like a decision had to be made: either we stuck together, or we stayed out of each others way. No more fence riding. What if, after this time, neither of us would come back? What if any connection that there had ever been between us was severed permanently?