And I'm back.

I'm extremely sorry for the long wait. This chapter just didn't want to be written.

Now I'm not really proud of this latest installment in AGA (A General Agreement), but what can you do? I tried my best. Oh, and I found Japan SO DIFFICULT to write, so if it seems a little OOC, I'm sorry.

And IMPORTANT NOTICE. I'm gone to England for my University training camp for the next while, and then after that I start classes back here in Canada. So updates may be few and far in between. I'll keep trying to write, but I don't know how much time I'll have between classes, soccer, and homework.

Warnings: Swearing (lots of it near the end), and, uh, some mentions of pairings (but only for amusement so no hate).

Disclaimer: Let me look at the list of things I own... a stuffed polar bear, a half-finished soda in the fridge, and, would you look at that, NOT Hetalia. Ain't that a surprise.

Enjoy! And please Review (I love what you guys have to say!).

This was never Japan's intention. He hadn't planned for this happen. He didn't even know this would be the outcome until he was standing in front of France – who was actually England – and realized with a shock that kami-sama, this is all my fault.

Of course, he kept his face blank, read the atmosphere, and quietly tried to tell England that he was sorry for his mistake.

But England didn't seem to get what Japan was trying to say.

"What do you mean?" the British nation had asked.

Japan had not wanted to answer that, seeing as the four nations in front of him were now giving him their undivided attention. Japan didn't like being at the center of things – he'd much rather stay on the side and make silent observations while drinking green tea.

But no, he had to tell them. It was his mistake, and therefore he had to own up to the problem. It was his duty.

"This is all my fault."

Their reactions, of course, were interesting. Expressions ranging from shock to confusion decorated the four nation's faces. England even took a step back, as if Japan had physically moved him.

Japan, however, merely felt guilty.

Who would have known that his idea would fail so drastically?

England's expression clearly demanded an explanation. But before Japan could even begin to justify his blunder, the nation that looked like Prussia ran down the hall yelling something along the lines of "Guess what, guys?! The awesome me figured out this unawesome mystery and IT'S ALL JAPAN'S FAULT! HA!".

Japan, who felt pretty uncomfortable after hearing that outburst, watched as the Prussian ran into a room off the hallway. The Asian also came to the conclusion that the ex-nation obviously had not switched, which made sense according to Japan's theory. He decided to confirm this with England.

"England-san, I take it that Prussia is still Prussia," he asked, looking back at the still-confused-and-wary nation.

"Uh, yes, he is," England replied. "But shouldn't you already know that, seeing as you, uh… caused it?"

The nation standing slightly to the left of England spoke up. "Yeah, dude, what's up with that? You saying that you're to blame for all of this stuff?"

Japan took a closer at the nation who had just spoken. He recognized the speech pattern, and so he assumed the nation to be America, however, he couldn't immediately identify the body.

"America-san, I am sorry for the inconvenience I've caused," Japan said softly, bowing slightly in the taller nation's direction. He then looked and England and the nation he assumed to be France (seeing as it was England's body). "England-san, France-san, I sincerely apologize for my mistake."

"And would you care to explain what this mistake is?" England asked.

"Oui, and please tell us it's a mistake that can be fixed," France added.

Japan felt extremely awkward, and the looks he was receiving only made him more ill at ease. He was not used to this kind of attention. He actually tried to avoid these kind of situations whenever possible. But he couldn't avoid this – no, this was something he had to face here and now.

"Let us go and sit down," he said, delaying the inevitable explanation.

And that's how Japan found himself sitting on the couch in the living room, surrounded by nine (nine!) nations who were all giving him their undivided attention.

It was like a nightmare for the shy and reserved nation. Japan desperately wished to be anywhere but here. He quickly glanced at the surrounding nations before lowering his eyes and staring at the ground between his feet.

The ground was nice. It didn't stare accusingly at the Asian or demand anything from him. It just was. Japan liked the ground. He decided the ground was his friend.

"Ahem," Germany coughed, and Japan looked up at the European nation. He found it slightly creepy that his large and intimidating companion was now occupying Italy's small and unthreatening body. Meanwhile, the Italian, who was in Germany's body, had taken the seat beside the German and was absentmindedly twiddling his thumbs.

"So," Germany prompted, seeing that he had Japan's attention. "What exactly happened? Why have we all switched?"

"And more importantly," China said from across the room, "how do we change back?"

Japan looked back at his ground-friend. He found that looking at the smooth wood helped calm his rising anxiety. Taking a deep breath, the Asian began to speak.

"I was building a device," he said, refusing to look up at the nations around him. "It was a device that was supposed to facilitate communication between nations. It would allow us to talk to each other whenever contact was required."

"So, like, a cell phone," America said.

"Better than a cell phone," Japan retorted gently, glancing at the American. "It would be faster and more efficient… and it could work anywhere at anytime."

"So, like, an awesome cell phone," Prussia said, looking intrigued.

Japan sighed, finding it difficult to explain the complexities behind his idea to these… less-than-knowledgeable nations. "Yes, Prussia-san, it could be like a cell phone."

"An awesome cell phone."

Japan was beginning to feel a bit exasperated. "Hai... an awesome cell phone." He couldn't believe he had just called his intricate device a cellular telephone.

"So this is all brilliant and everything," England cut in, giving Prussia and America annoyed looks, "but how does this cell-phone-thing apply to our current situation?" He directed the question at Japan, who had returned his gaze to the floor.

Japan took a couple of calming breaths before answering. "The device..." he began hesitantly, "would connect the nations on a very elaborate and fundamental scale." Japan looked away from the supportive view of the ground and at the confused faces of the surrounding nations.

Obviously no one knew what he was talking about.

The Asian nation sighed, trying to think of a better way to explain the intricacy of his device. "It would be a unique piece of technology that would connect to each nation on a level that is…" he trailed off, noticing the still-mystified expressions around him.

Very well, then, I'll just come right out and say it…

"The device would connect the nations on a genetic scale," Japan said, internally cringing at his wording. It wasn't quite what he wanted to say, but the explanation would have to do.

"Ve~, so like, the DNA stuff?" Italy asked, feeling pretty proud of himself for knowing that.

"Hai… the DNA… stuff."

"So you're telling us," England said sceptically, "that you've been messing with our genetic code?"

Japan shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "…perhaps… a little…"

There was a moment of silence. Then….

"Dude…" America stated, wide-eyed, "that… is… SO COOL!"

"America, you git, this isn't something to be happy about."

"But Iggy, you don't understand. Japan could totally make us into real, live super-he–"

"Don't bloody call me Iggy!"

"But dude…"

And by this point, everyone was talking.

Japan desperately tired to use his ninja skills to render himself invisible. He didn't want to be here anymore. The Japanese nation knew that in a few moments the others would calm down and then he'd be at the center of attention again. Then he'd have to explain himself. And he'd have to justify his actions and defend his device and he'd have to explain how it all went wrong. The Asian looked down at his ground-friend, wishing that the nations around him could be as calm and understanding as his wooden companion.

It was China who brought the impromptu meeting back under control. (Germany had tried, but he just wasn't as commanding as he used to be when he looked like Italy.)

"Aiyah! You guys are like little school children! We need to focus, aru!"

China's condescending tone coupled with Russia's large and imposing body did the trick. England and America's heated argument cooled down, Russia's creepy laughter (he was sitting in the corner watching everyone with an eerie smile) faded away, Italy stopped telling Germany and Prussia about the history of pasta, and France finally pulled away from Canada, who blushed and hid his face behind his hands.

England gave the two French-speaking nations a suspicious glare. "Were you two just…" he trailed off at France's smirk. "Never mind, I don't want to know."

France merely ohonhonhon'ed and shifted closer to the Canadian.

Japan watched the nations with mild interest, intrigued about North-American/European relationships, but truthfully he just wanted to delay the inevitable onslaught of questions. His observing regretfully came to an end when the room's occupants focused (once again) on the Asian.

And Japan decided that this day couldn't really get much worse.

"So, Japan," Russia said, fixing the reserved nation with a powerful look, "the messing around with our DNA is a… nice and interesting thing," Japan knew that Russia did not truly mean nice and interesting, "but we can all ignore that since you can fix this, no?"

Russia's tone of voice dared Japan to say anything otherwise.

The Japanese nation shifted awkwardly in his seat, thoughts focusing on Russia's question. He quickly tried to weigh in all the factors that could lead to reversing this current situation. If the device could cause the nations to switch bodies, then it should – theoretically – be able to change them back.

At least, Japan hoped that was the case.

Taking a deep breath before speaking, the Asian looked across the room at Russia, who merely returned the gaze with an eerie smile.

"I believe," Japan began evenly, trying to ignore the creepy grin on China's face, "that I could manage to reverse this issue in a week's time."

"A week?" repeated France, frowning. "I have to live like this for a week?"

"Be grateful, you git" said England, arms crossed in front of his chest. "At least it's not bloody permanent."

"But Angleterre…"

"You will just have to cope, like the rest of us."

"But it's not the same for you," France whined. "You have the privilege of being the beautiful moi for a week, whereas I have to be you."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"You're ugly," France replied blatantly.

"Excuse me?"

"You look like an angry leprechaun."

"WHAT?" England spluttered.

"And I don't want to look like an angry leprechaun for a week."

"Oh, so this is all about bloody you now," England managed to grit out between clenched teeth.

"But of course."

"I wish you would just die."

"Now that's a harsh thing to say to your own body," France smirked.

"Just. Shut. Up."

"Um… excuse me," Japan uncomfortably cut in. Although he had been happy that he was no longer the center of attention, he felt it was his duty to try and calm the argument (since his device kind of started it).

Seeing that he had managed to gather the two European's attention, Japan continued with what he was about to say. "If it is really that much trouble, I think I could manage to have the device ready in four days."

There was a short bout of silence that followed Japan's statement. The reserved nation gratefully took a moment to take a deep, calming breath. Japan was finding that his internal sense of balance was being constantly thrown off-kilter by these chaotic nations.

The silence was broken by the happy-go-lucky Italian.

"Ve~ Japan, you're so great!"

"Uh, arigatou, Italy-chan." Japan couldn't help but smile slightly at the sight of Germany's body bouncing excitedly up and down on the couch.

"This is magnifique, Japan," France said passionately, "I knew you had it in you. I will soon be reunited with my beauty."

"You bloody frog, it's only a difference of three days."

"Small victories, mon chère Angleterre, will win the war," France said with a smirk.

Before England could shoot back a scathing reply, America (who obviously hadn't been paying attention) enthusiastically jumped into the conversation.

"Whoa, dudes, we're at war? When? Where? Let me help!"

Japan watched interestedly as England gave the eager American a dubious look. "Bloody hell, lad," the British nation scoffed, "calm down. We're not at war."

"But I've got TANKS!" The American replied excitedly. "I love my tanks!" Then America blinked. "Uh… wait," he looked down at his current body. "Hmm, right. Yo, Canada, you got any tanks I can use?"

Canada bit his bottom lip worriedly. "Um… maybe… but I really don't think that's the best idea…"

"What are you talking about dude? It's a great idea 'cause I'm the h–"

"Would you please all shut up," Germany interrupted, rolling his (Italy's) eyes. "How do you expect us to get anything done when you're all acting like complete dummkopfs?"

"Hey," Prussia spoke up obnoxiously, "that's not a very awesome thing to say to your dear, older brother."

Germany gave the smirking Prussian an unimpressed glare. "If you'd be quiet, things would be so much easier."

"Life's no fun if it's easy."

"Ohonhonhon, well said, mon ami."

"Of course, I am awesome after all."

"Would you please be quiet!" Germany growled through clenched teeth (though it didn't quite have the desired effect in Italy's feeble body).

"No can do, bruder, the awesome me cannot be silenced!"

And as Prussia and France continued to laugh – trading jokes at the expense of the other nations – Japan could tell that his German friend was nearing the end of his patience.

France chuckled loudly.

"I am so glad you decided to come," the French nation said, giving Prussia a slap on the back. "You have managed to make this horrendous experience just a little more bearable."

"Ha, well it should be expected that I make things more awesome," Prussia replied haughtily.

"Oui oui, with the two of us, things will always have a spark of something spéciale."

"Yep. Instant awesome, just add Prussia," the albino declared loudly.

"Ah, do not forget about the beautiful moi," France said. "Oh, and chère Espagne as well, we must not forget his contribution to notre splendeur."

"Ya, Spain is really missing out on this awesomeness. He would love this."

"Ve~, he's probably with fratello right now!" Italy exclaimed excitedly from across the room. Then a slight frown appeared on the Italian's face. "Oh… fratello is going to be soooo angry when he sees me…"

Japan noticed that Germany had long ago given up on regaining control of the conversation.

"Yeah, Romano might be pissed, but Spain will probably laugh his ass off," Prussia grinned.

"How true. Oh, if only our dear Espagne were here with us…" France trailed off with a dramatic sigh.

And that was when a happy, vibrant jingle sounded through the room. Everyone was quiet for a moment as they listened to the out-of-place music.

"Oh, that's my phone~," Italy chirped, smiling brightly (which looked extremely awkward on Germany's face). Reaching into his pocket, the Italian brought out the small, humming device.

"Who's calling, aru?" China asked as Italy flipped the phone to look at the screen.

"Oh, it's my fratello," Italy said with a smile. "Isn't that a funny~, we were just talking about him."

"So, uh, dude, you gonna answer?" asked America. The cell phone continued to hum.

"Ve~, right."

And as Italy went to answer his phone, Japan realized something.

"Wait, Italy-chan," he spoke up just before the Italian pressed the answer-call button. "Shouldn't you let Germany-san answer the phone?"

"Uh… why?" Italy asked, finger hovering over the button.

"Yes, why?" Germany echoed, looking unhappy.

"Well, because you two have switched bodies, so your voices have changed," Japan explained, "if you answer the phone, Italy-chan, your nii-san will think you're Germany."

"Oh… Japan, you're so smart," Italy said after a moment's pause. Smiling, the Italian, turned to face Germany. "Here you go." He handed the phone to the reluctant German. "Remember to be like me, ve~!"

Germany looked at the phone as if he'd been handed a live grenade.

"Uh, dude, you're gonna have to answer it," America advised casually, "or else you're gonna miss the call."

"I would prefer to miss the call," Germany grumbled unhappily, but pressed the answer-call button all the same. Taking a deep breath and briefly closing his eyes, the German brought the small device up to the said of his face. "Hello f-fratello, what is going on… veeee..." he trailed off, cringing.

Beside him, Italy smiled and gave him a double thumbs up sign.

Across the room, France and Prussia 'quietly' laughed their asses off.

The remainder of the room's occupants watched in silence as Germany listened to the other end of the conversation.

And as the seconds wore on, Germany's expression became more and more confused. Frowning, he titled his head slightly to the side and gave the phone a suspicious look.

"Um, Spain, why are you talking on South It– eh, fratello's phone?"

Prussia and France perked up.

"It's Spain? Awesome! I was totally just talking about him!"

"Ohonhonhon, what a fabulous coincidence. We should invite him over," France said.

Ignoring Germany's gesture for silence, England joined the conversation. "You may certainly not invite him over. This is my house, you gits, and I do not want another annoying nitwit showing up."

"Ha, dude," America laughed, "you just said nitwit."

"You shut up," England retorted irritably.

"You can't tell me to shut up, I'm the h–"

"WILL YOU ALL BE QUIET!" Germany yelled, voice breaking on the last word. He had covered the phone's speaker with his hand and was glaring angrily at the room's occupants. "I can't hear a single thing that's being said to me, so please, just shut up for a moment."

"Ok, ok," Prussia said, hands out in front of him in a defensive manor. "No need to go all serious on us, bruder. We'll stay quiet as long as you put Spain on speakerphone. I wanna hear what he has to say."

Germany gave the albino an annoyed look, but pressed the button for speakerphone all the same.

The first thing everyone in room heard coming over the phone's speakers was a loud and angry voice.

A loud and angry Spaniard's voice.

"…so tell me what the fuck is going on! It's been a whole day now and IT'S STILL FUCKING MESSED UP! This is probably your fault, fratello, so FIX IT!"

Then, sounding from a little further off, another voice floated through the phone's speaker. A voice that was slightly higher in pitch and carried a distinct Italian accent.

"Oh, look at you, mi tomato, you're angry and red and cute…"

"Shut up, you bastard! And stop making my face smile like that! It's fucking creepy!"

The room's occupants had frozen after the first sentence, looking at the phone in surprise. And the next few sentences had only led to confusion. But after that last sentence, the surprise and confusion gave way to realization. Everyone figured out what had happened to Spain and Romano.

Well, except for America, who had gotten stuck somewhere at confusion.

"So wait…" he whispered theatrically, looking around at the surrounding nations. "Why is Spain swearing so much? Isn't that Romano guy the one with the bad language?"

England looked at the clueless American with disdain. "Really, lad?" he scoffed. "That air-filled brain of yours can't figure it out? They've bloody body-swapped, like the rest of us."

America frowned slightly before a look of realization came over his face. "Ohhhhhh…" he said, dragging out the sound, "dude… this is getting so whacked."

The angry Spaniard's voice continued resonating from the phone in Germany's hand. Germany, who had been staring at the cellular device the entire time, looked up with a frown as Italy perked up excitedly on the couch.

"Ve~, fratello, you too?" the Italian said, grabbing the phone from Germany and bringing it near his face. "Can you believe it? Isn't this soooo great! I mean it's really scary… but I get to be so big and strong and handsome!"

There was a brief moment of silence, then…

"What the fuck, potato-bastard? Put my fratello back on the phone!"

Italy blinked. "Ve?… but I am your fratel–"

"Shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear your stupid German words coming from your stupid German mouth. Put Feliciano back on the phone!"

"But fratello, I switched too!" Italy explained earnestly. "I'm in Germany's body right now! Like you are with Spain."

"LIES!" Romano shouted angrily from the phone. "And you fucking shut up about me and that tomato-bastard! I hate that bastard's guts!"

"Ve? I wasn't saying anything about you and–"

"Shut up! I don't care about what you said! I hate him!"

"Oho, so angry, mi tomato," Spain could be heard saying from further off. "This isn't what you were like two nights ago when you came over to my house…"

"SHUT UP!"

"… and into my bed…"

"SHUT YOUR FUCKNG MOUTH!"

"… because you said that you missed me, my cute little tomato." Spain finished with what sounded like a smile.

"I'm going to fucking rip out your intestines and strangle you with them," Romano said with a snarl. "And I'll enjoy every minute of it."

Everyone in the room was silent except for France, who chuckled slyly and said: "Well he's not denying Spain's words, so I guess that means our Spaniard is getting somewhere… if you know what I mean." He finished his statement with some suggestive eyebrow-waggling.

(And the eyebrow-waggling was quite effective thanks to England's exceptional eyebrows.)

Apparently, France's words had carried through to the phone, since there was a moment of stunned silence from Romano. Then the spell of silence was broken and the angry Italian started cursing loudly and colorfully over the phone. "Fuck you! And what the fucking hell? Why did I just hear the fucking scone -bastard? The FUCK?"

Seeming to ignore the excessive swearing, Italy laughed happily. "Oh, haha, no that wasn't mister England, fratello, that was France." He bounced up and down excitedly on the couch. "Everyone else, like France and England, is body-switching too! Ve~," Italy then paused as if to consider something. "Oh... right, and, um, fratello, you're on speaker phone. So… everybody can hear what you're saying."

And America, being ever-so tactful, decided to add a little something more.

"And dude, from what Spain just said, you're like, totally in lov–"

"YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

xXx*xXx

Eventually, after much swearing, laughter and yelling, everyone managed to settle down. Spain ended up taking the phone away from Romano, seeing as the Italian was in no mood to talk civilly with the other nations. And so, once everyone started talking sense, the assembled nations, including Spain and Romano on the cell phone, finally settled on a plan to follow for the next four days.

It was decided – after a vote of 6 to 4 for the proposal – that the nations would try to behave like their body-swapped partner. It would only be for four days, and afterwards, any weird behaviour could be passed off as illness or something. If, after four days, the matter was still not resolved, then the nation's bosses could be notified.

"And dudes, we should totally like, meet up halfway through to make sure no one's messing up too bad," America declared.

"Really? Another meeting in only two days, aru?"

"That… is actually not a bad idea," England concurred. Frowning slightly, he continued. "It would at least let us know if Japan is on track in fixing his device."

Japan looked down at his feet. "I will do my best."

"Check it, dudes! Meeting in two days!"

After a bit more planning, it was indeed decided that there would be another meeting – this time at France's place in Paris.

Until then, everyone would return to their current country…

"And I think it would be in our best interest to avoid the countries' leaders, da?" Russia smiled childishly, tilting his head slightly to one side. "Seeing as they might try and make us sign some important… files. We would not any accidental declaration of war, now, would we?"

Everyone in the room stared warily at the smiling Russian. Well, everyone except for one happy-go-lucky nation.

"Ve~, war is bad. It's big and scary and loud, and we should make pasta, not war. I love pasta~, it's so great! Just like Germany. Germany is great too."

"Oh really?" France smirked knowingly, deciding to ignore Russia's earlier statement. "Great in which ways?"

"Ve~, great in every way!" Italy gave a cute, innocent smile.

Despite Germany's warnings to stay quiet, Prussia cackled loudly. "Well tell us, Italy; is West also great in bed–"

"Bruder!"

"What? The awesome me is curious!"

Germany just gave him a disturbed look. "Why?"

Prussia smiled widely. "Because I need to know these kinds of things. It's my first awesome step in taking over this boring world! My awesomeness shall prevail, bitches!"

…

And so Prussia was banished from any further meetings.

("You can't banish me, I'm too awesome to be banished!")

xXx*xXx

Eventually everyone left, returning to whatever country they had to represent for the next few days. France was left alone at England's house with explicit instructions to not touch anything. (France, of course, began poking various things in the house.)

Nevertheless, the next step in this situation was clear.

Do your best and don't mess up.

Ugh, that was painful. I had to rip this chapter out of my head. It just didn't want to be written.

So, uh, sorry if there was any pairings you didn't like. I try to keep it fairly light-to-invisible, just so I don't rub anyone the wrong way.

So, who liked the random Spain and Romano? (My sister convinced me to throw them in there.) And what did you guys think of Japan?

*cries* The explanation was horrible, I know, I'm sorry. But I didn't want the reason for body-swap to just be "Magic". So I tried something different, but don't really know how well it tuned out. *cries some more*

I'll keep trying to write this, but I'm finding inspiration difficult to find. Doesn't mean I'll give up, but it might take a while.

Favs and Reviews are Love!