Title: Her fault

Pairings: House/Cameron

Rating: M

Author: Lunschen

Her fault

You hate her and you can´t stop thinking about it. You have every fucking right to hate her since it´s all her fault. You´re the victim here and you hate yourself for hiring her. Now she got you in her spell, invading your mind all fucking day long and providing you wet dreams at night. You just can´t stop it although you really want to because this is getting dangerous and you know it.

When Stacy came back, you were almost relieved because you thought she was the best medicine against your Cam-disease. After all Stacy would be the easiest solution here. You know each other for many years and you were together for 5. You know her by heart and she´s not a new enigma like others but plain, good, old Stacy. Of course you would be able to make her leave Martin or whatever his name is. The best prove is that she´s hovering above you in this moment – naked, sweaty and moaning but Cam-disease is even stronger than the medicine. Instead of Stacy, you want Allison to ride you, to give you pleasure and a very nice view. You wonder how she tastes, what noises she makes during sex or maybe she´s silent and shy? Who cares, you bet you would make her scream her lungs out in no time. You can´t help but grin at the thought of a screaming beauty in your bedroom and you almost shriek in surprise when you see Stacy not above you but beside you with a very pissed off expression on her face.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Greg? After all these years we´re together again and you can´t even concentrate on sex with me? What are you thinking of the whole time or is it another woman? Talk to me now! I deserve to know what´s going on!"

You sigh loudly and sat down against the headboard of your bed, taking the sheet to cover yourself and this damaged leg of yours that reminds you every day of the time you both shared some years ago. It´s no use to start over and you know it.

"I don´t owe you anything, just for you to know. This whole dancing around shit isn´t working anymore. You ended the disaster we called relationship many years ago, no need to start it again. I think you should leave and be happy with Maurice. Close the door behind you. Good night."

You turn around and close your eyes, hoping that sleep overtakes you soon. You can feel her annoyance spreading through the whole room and you´re glad that looks can´t really kill persons because you would be dead by now. Some minutes later, she finally stands up and gathers her cloths. Not long after this, you hear the front door slammed and sleep with pictures of Allison overtake you.

When you enter the conference room the next day, your three little slaves can feel your bad mood immediately and don´t even say a word since they´re scared to make you explode. Only Cameron (who else?) gives you your red mug filled with her amazing coffee, smiles at you for a second and leaves you and your thoughts alone. Again the thought fills your mind that she is the reason you can´t be happy with Stacy or another woman. Not even hookers can bring you relief and it´s all her fault! You hate her and you want her to suffer because of this. So you take your cane, limp into the conference room again and empty your red mug. Her coffee fills the sink and you enjoy her confused face. Before you go to annoy Wilson, you dumb all your paper work and clinic duty on her. She can´t even protest because your strict face make her shut up immediately.

You play this little game for days now and you wonder when you´ll reach her breaking point and make her quit since that´s the goal here. You´re surprised that Cuddy or the boys aren´t here yet, fighting for their little girl. Just when you think about leaving early, you hear a soft knock at your door and you grin because you think you finally won the battle. One minute later she stands in front of you, her eyes tired but her appearance still professional.

"Okay House, what the hell is wrong with you? Why do you torture me the whole time? What have I done to deserve this?"

You almost feel bad but then it´s all her fault not yours, you think and so you only grin evilly at her.

"I have no idea what you´re talking about Dr. Cameron. If working for me stresses you too much, you should think about quitting and leaving because I have no time to listen to your whining."

You watch the wheels in her head spinning and thinking about what to do next and you enjoy seeing her like this but then her eyes start to sparkle again and you see a determination in them, you never saw before.

"It´s okay Dr. House. It´s not too much. I better get this paper work done now. Good night."

She closes the door and leaves you speechless. You never thought she would be a fighter here but you know that she will leave soon and leaves you to your own misery again. They all do eventually.

It has been a month now and she´s still here. She works her pretty ass off like no other. You can see that she barely sleeps but takes paper work home with her. She´s even thinner than before and her eyes look empty and lost. You try to avoid her because you hate to see her like this but again: Her fault! No normal human being would fight so hard to work for you. Not your fault. You can feel the angry looks of the boys but you know they won´t bother you since Cameron forbid it. She doesn´t need their help.

Meanwhile Stacy works here again but since this night many weeks ago, she avoids you like plague and you´re more than okay with it. She waits for you to apologize although you both know that this will never happen. She was never a fighter when it comes to you.

That night you decide to wash away the guilt with Scotch that won´t stop bothering you whenever you look at Cameron, the doorbell rings like mad. Not even waiting for an answer, the door opens and a very angry Wilson storms inside. His yelling can be heard everywhere you think.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? What has Cameron done to be treated like this? Have your lost your mind? Are you happy now? Are you fucking happy now? You did it! You finally did it: You broke her! Don´t look so shocked, you idiot! She broke down tonight while doing your work again! Are you happy now? I can´t even stand being near you!"

Not even waiting for an answer, he storms outside again and slams the door behind him, leaving you shocked and scared. He´s right. You did it, you finally broke her although she´s the strongest person you know. You hate yourself now – for being such an ass, for making her life a living hell and for being such a coward when it comes to emotions. Taking your scotch, you lull yourself into a night full of nightmares. You don´t deserve anything else.

Everybody avoids you the next morning or sends you death glares but you don´t care about them. You can only think of her. During lunch time, the halls are empty and so you limp your way to the room you know she´s in without being seen. The view is more than shocking and you feel your eyes getting wet. What the hell have you done? She seems so tiny in this huge bed. Her once so fresh and healthy skin is white and transparent, even her lips are pale. Even while sleeping she looks exhausted.

You just stand there and watch her until it gets too much. You´re limping to the toilet and throw up in self-hatred. Afterwards you go to Cuddy and excuse yourself for the next four weeks. You need a break before you break everybody around you.

Throwing every vicodin pill you have into the toilet, you make your way to the taxi and soon you found yourself in the hospital bed of your new home for the next four weeks: Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital.

Withdrawal is cruel but you knew this before. You throw up, sweat and cry of pain the whole time but you can always see her in front of your eyes. You know you pushed her away for good this time but suffering through this mess seems like the right thing to do. You deserve it and somehow you hope it can take all the guilt away that is killing you.

Therapy afterwards isn´t as bad as you thought it would be. Your new painkillers aren´t vicodin but you know she wanted you to search for alternatives and so you do it. Finally you even found a doctor who is able to cope with you. Everything is better than you deserve it.

When your last day at Mayfield begins, you wonder what happened in the last weeks. Did she quit? Did they all quit? You wouldn´t be shocked if they did. You don´t even think that Wilson is out there, waiting to take you home. He doesn´t love you that much. So you take your suitcase and grab your cell phone because you know you will need it soon to call a taxi. Slowly, almost afraid of the world outside, you step outside the building and turn around a last time. You´re not a different person. You´re still the sarcastic asshole you´ve always been but now you aware that other people have feelings, too and if you push them too far, they break. You did it once and now it´s your task to live with this guilt. You also want to try to accept the feelings inside you instead of ignoring them. You know you have to face them instead of pushing every feeling and every person involved away. It sucks but there´s no running away anymore.

Finally you make your way to the parking lot in search for a taxi when you see her. You can´t believe your eyes but this beautiful and caring young woman stands in front of her car, smiling at you and taking your suitcase. Without knowing what´s going on, you sit in the car and watch her drive. She looks better, no exhaustion left anymore. Her cheeks have a beautiful color again like fresh peaches and her eyes sparkle with hope and life. That´s your Cameron again but this doesn´t make sense to you. Why is she doing this? For a short second you think she might want to kill you both on the drive to your home. You wouldn´t even care to die with her but it would be a shame to see such a young and amazing woman dead.

The whole situation gets too much for you and before you know it, you fall asleep and it´s already dark when you wake up and follow her inside your apartment. Looking around, she speaks for the first time this night.

"Well, welcome home again. There´s some food in the kitchen if you´re hungry. I cooked some lasagna before I drove to Mayfield but I guess it´s already cold. I´ll heat it up for you before I leave. You can take a shower until then."

She´s turning around to head to the kitchen but your hand is faster, grabbing her wrist and turning her around in one swift movement, leaving her shocked when you pull her towards you. Your blue eyes connect with hers and you try to read her but she´s different. She´s your enigma.

"Why are you doing this after all I did to you?"

You bet she can hear the desperate need of you to know the answer but says nothing. It´s like she doesn´t even know the answer or she doesn´t want you to know it. You bet it´s the second possibility since she avoids eye contact now and it´s killing you. You want to look into her eyes and soul. You need to know what´s going on and so you take her chin gently into your hand and forces

her to look at you. What you see shocks you. Before therapy you would throw her out or run away in fear but right now you know you have to deal with this scary emotion her eyes are full with: Love. You don´t understand that she feels like this after all you did but you can´t tell her what to feel. Before you know it, your lips are on hers and you kiss her so soft and tender that you feel you´re ready to burst with all the emotions you feel. Her lips are responsive and taste like heaven. You can´t get enough of them. You just stand there and kiss each other ever so softly until you feel the need to breathe again. She smiles at you and leads you into the bedroom where you sit at the edge of your bed before your leg kills you. Standing between your legs, she claims your lips again but now the kiss is more passionate and you know there´s no turning back now. This is real and you want it. For the first time you stop being scared and just enjoy this sacred moment.

Between kisses you remove her clothes until she´s standing in her bra and slip before you. You mention her to get on the bed and it´s almost killing you to see her like this. You need her so bad but she deserves more. You want her to feel your love and how sorry you are. This has to be special for her because this is her night. While watching her on your bed, you undress yourself until only your boxers are left. Slowly to not overdo your leg, you climb to her side and hover above her. Your hands caress every piece of naked skin they can get and soon your lips are following. You kiss her lips one more time, invading her mouth with your hot tongue and making her moan in pleasure before your lips move downwards.

Her chest is beautiful. No wrinkle to be seen just rosy, young skin and you can´t resist to bite her softly and sucking her tender skin. You want to leave marks on her because you will never give up on her anymore. She´s yours from now on and you want everybody to know. Your hand moves to her back and unclasps her black bra. With a swift movement, you can see her small but firm breasts for the first time and you´re already addicted to them. You suck her already hard buds eagerly and soon she´s arching into you, begging you for more but you take your time. Your tongue is eager and can´t stop caressing her perfect breasts over and over again until she almost screams with desperation and you can´t stop grinning smugly. She´s better than in your wildest dreams and you want to hear more noises of pleasure.

Finally you give in and your lips move to her navel. You lick the small hole and blow cool air inside making her shiver but the best is yet to come. You sit up and caress her long, slim legs always evading the hot and wet part she wants to feel you the most. The wet spot on her slip is almost killing you and your boxers aren´t big enough to handle your growing erection for much longer. Your hands grab her buttocks and ever so slowly to torture her even more, you remove the lacy slip that covers her wet and hot sex. She´s shivering even more now and your eyes roam over her naked body until she blushes. You want more and so you take her knees and softly but firmly you spread them apart. The look is carnal and the best thing you ever saw in bed. Without giving her time to recover from her shyness, your head gets down between her legs and your tongue evades her and you both moan in sheer pleasure. You can´t get enough of her sweet nectar and lick her over and over again. Sometimes you suck at her clit but never enough to make her come just yet. You could stay in this place forever but then you feel her hand gripping your hair and her voice is already hoarse from screaming when she softly begs you to enter you. She wants you inside her when she comes.

Her words make you almost come here and there. You can´t remove your boxers fast enough and when she helps you with the condom you feel like exploding. You enter her in a long and swift move since you know how wet she already is. You both scream from the sensation and you have to stop moving to gather yourself again. Meanwhile she claims your lips with hers and takes the opportunity to roam her hands through your naked and sweaty body, teasing you and caressing your buttocks, encouraging you to move and so you start.

Your thrusts are slow in the beginning and tender but her encouraging words are making it impossible to go on like this. Soon you both establish a faster and harder rhythm. You leave her body just to enter her even harder and faster than before and when she holds her knees to her chest, allowing you even deeper access, it´s all too much and you both come hard, screaming each other's names in ecstasy.

Later that night you have her in your arms and it feels like pure heaven. She fits perfectly in your life and you try to find words to express how sorry you are and how much you love her but you´re rumbling and feel like an idiot until she shushes you with the sweetest kiss one can imagine. Afterwards she smiles at you and you know that she understands you even without words. She´s perfect but you always knew it.