It was the end of another pointless world meeting that accomplished nothing. The countries had bickered for hours about trivial subjects and Alfred was tired of it. He was on his way out when suddenly a wormhole appeared in front of him. Out of the wormhole came an odd looking machine with a microphone attached to the top.

"Arthur! Arthur! Come look at this!" the American yelled to the Brit, "Come on!"

"Fine! What is it?" Arthur sighed at his younger brother's antics. He was going home to have a nice cup of tea and some scones, "This better be quick!"

"Yeah, yeah. Come on!" yelled Alfred from across the room, machine in arms. The Brit walked slowly toward the American but then he saw the machine.

"What the bloody hell is that?" exclaimed Arthur when he saw what his younger brother was holding. He hurried over and looked at the machine closely.

"I don't know. It popped out of this wormhole thingy in the hall. I wonder what it does!" Alfred tapped the microphone, "Maybe we're supposed to talk into this?" He cleared his throat and spoke into the mic, "Hello? Testing, testing, one two three!"

"Ugh, I think you're supposed to ask it a 'what if' question," Arthur said pointing to the name on the top of the machine, the "What-if Machine."

"Oh! Cool!" Alfred spoke into the mic again, "What if... I ate Artie's cooking?"

"Hey! My cooking isn't bad!" yelled Arthur, insulted. Alfred ignored him and looked at the machine.

The screen of the device immediately changed from purple swirls into a scene of Arthur's house. Arthur, Alfred, and Francis were sitting down at Arthur's kitchen table.

"...Because you lost the bet, Alfred, you have to eat these scones." Francis said holding out a plate of burned, disfigured pastries.

"Hey! No fair! I'll die if I eat those!" yelled Alfred, holding his nose, "Can't I just eat, um, a burger?" he pleaded.

"No. The deal was that you have to eat these scones. Now eat!" commanded Francis as he shoved the platter at Alfred. The American dodged away and the platter fell to the ground.

"Come on Francis! I can't eat those! I'll eat anything else! Anything!" Alfred was begging now as Francis picked the scones off the floor.

"Eat or I'll tell everyone about you and..." Francis snickered as Alfred grabbed the platter and shoved a scone into his mouth.

"Ugh! Eww!" Alfred gagged as he forced the scone down his throat. His face started to turn green and he started to gag.

"By the way, what did you put into those scones?" Francis asked Arthur as they watched the American gag on the scone.

"Oh, the usual..." Arthur said dismissively.

Finally, Alfred swallowed the scone and sat up, "There… I did it." He coughed and gagged some more.

"Oh stop overreacting! My cooking isn't that bad!"

"I'll never eat again!" gagged Alfred dramatically and then fake barfed. Arthur rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Wow! This thing is awesome! It knows exactly what I would do!" laughed Alfred as the screen faded back to purple swirls, "What should I ask it next?"

"Hmm…" Arthur thought of something that would annoy the American. He smiled as he got a great idea, "What if I had won the American Revolutionary War?"

"What? Um… n-no… that wouldn't have happened anyways…" Alfred was scared of what was to come.

"It would have if I hadn't helped you." Francis had arrived during the last scenario and was now lounging comfortably in a chair.

"Shut up frog! Let's watch, shall we." Arthur's eyes were glued to the screen as it changed to a scene of Alfred's house.

Alfred was scrubbing the floor of his kitchen muttering cuss words to himself when he heard Arthur's angry shouting.

"Alfred? Alfred! Get in here!" Arthur yelled to the American. Alfred hurried to the Brit's side, still holding the scrub brush.

"Yes, Master Kirkland. What can I do for you?" Alfred said politely to the angry Brit. He was clenching his fists but his face showed no signs of anger.

"Alfred, would you be so kind as to make me some tea?" Arthur asked in a sweet voice, obviously mocking the American.

"Ugh. Yes, Master," sighed Alfred as he hurried to make the tea. He was obviously wishing he could strangle the Brit.

When he came back with a cup of tea, Arthur was yelling at Alfred's brother, Matthew. "Where the bloody hell have you been, Canadia? I haven't seen you in a week."

"It's Canada," replied Matthew quietly, "and I've been here. You just haven't noticed me."

"How would I not have noticed you, Canadia?"

"It's CANADA!" yelled Matthew quietly, "My name is Canada!"

"How dare you talk back to me you bloody git?" Arthur yelled as he raised his hand to whack Matthew.

"Um… hey! Your tea's done!" Alfred yelled as he walked into the room quickly. He brought the tea over to the angry Brit.

"Yes. You two may go." Arthur dismissed them with a wave of a hand and proceeded sipping his tea. Alfred and Matthew left the room, the latter with a relieved look on his face.

"Thanks, Alfred…" the Canadian said quietly to his brother.

Alfred looked at Matthew, "Don't mention it. That's what brothers are for, I guess," Alfred sighed, "That British bastard can be such a… bastard, sometimes."

"Yeah," sighed Matthew, "Hey! Maybe if we worked together we could gain our independence from him."

"Wow! Great idea! We could kick the British bastard's ass and become our own country!" Alfred was excited now, thinking about being a free country.

"You're going to have a hard time kicking my ass if I'm standing behind you."

"Arthur?" Matthew and Alfred spun around to see the Brit standing at the doorway with his arms folded.

"He he he. You heard that… you're just taking it out of context…" spluttered Alfred, "we… um, I was just telling Mattie here… how you kicked my ass when I was trying to gain independence… yeah!"

"Right. I don't believe you. For that act of insubordination, I'm taking Quebec and Maine from you."

"W-what?"

"That's right. And you two can go fight France for me, and, while you're at it, make me dinner."

"Y-yes, Master Kirkland, sir," Matthew replied. Alfred was fuming but he nodded his head.

"Good. Now get to work!"

"I don't think this thing is very accurate." Alfred was shocked by what he had just seen.

"No, it seems pretty accurate. You're right, Alfred. This thing is 'awesome,'" said Arthur grinning.

"Anyways," Alfred said, composing himself, "Who wants to ask the next question?"