"No. Fuck you. Fuck all of you. I'm not doing it." Harry sat back in his seat, dragging a hand through his rumpled hair, wondering whose idea thisinsane, foolproof 'plan-to-beat-the-dark-lord' was. "Come on, this is classic Fred and George! Where are they hiding anyway? Under the table, or something?"

The rest of the Order of the Phoenix shifted uncomfortably in their seats, looking at each other nervously. It was never a good sign when their saviour started to blame things on the twins.

"Harry, this is not a joke, no matter how it may seem. This is a valid proposal, from all that we can tell. If you do this, we will have a genuine peace treaty." Dumbledore paused, eyes meeting Harry's. "Don't you want to go outside again, Harry? Don't you want to be just a normal boy?"

"Oh right, 'cause this would make me normal, wouldn't it?" Harry shook his head in disgust. "Would it fuck. Yeah, I want to go outside, but I'm seventeen. I can deal with not getting what I want. What I don't want is to marry fucking snake-face! Whose fucking mental idea was this then?"

"Harry, my boy, I can't just tell you-" Dumbledore began, only to be interrupted by Snape, sitting in the corner.

"I passed on the contract from the Dark Lord himself." The greasy git hissed. "A contract that I would strongly suggest you take. Have you even read it yet?"

"He sent something to read? Great. Cause all I got was Twinkletoes here telling me it would be for the 'greater good' to marry Voldyshorts. Rest of you read it? Know about it?" Harry glared at each Order member in turn, rolling his eyes when the first eight ducked their heads guiltily. "Oh Harry, we're so glad to have you in the Order!" He mimicked the voice of Nymphadora Tonks as he stared, her hair turning dark red showing her embarrassment. "It'll be so good not to have to keep secrets from you, Harry!" He pasted a simpering smile onto his face as he spoke. "Fucking hypocrites."

"Harry, we thought that you had read it, I mean-" Remus Lupin, stepping in to save the day and failing, yet again.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire." Harry sung, smile still plastered on.

"Harry, stop that right now!" Hermione's voice, and a sharp elbow, came from his left. "Behave like an adult, please, and consider this rationally." She turned away from him as he huffed in agreement, steely glare landing on the Headmaster. "Professor Dumbledore, you know that you should have given the full proposal to Harry, seeing as it is his life, and his decision, but he is willing to forgive that-"

"Forgive it fuck," Harry muttered insolently, groaning as the elbow hit his side again.

"He is willing to forgive that," Hermione continued. "If you give him the full proposal now. A proposal that Professor Snape will be reading over again to make sure that it is the full proposal."

With a sigh, the Headmaster produced a roll of parchment from his sleeve, passing it over to Hermione, who handed it to Harry without looking at it.

"Thank you, Headmaster. Now, Harry, Professor Snape and I will be in the library. We will return to the meeting when Harry has considered the proposal." Hermione's hand under his elbow pulled Harry to his feet, and a sharp glare and raised eyebrow convinced Snape to follow.

Harry sat where Hermione had placed him, on the loveseat in the library, Hermione tucked in next to him, as she had done since Ron's death. Snape stood awkwardly in the doorway.

"For God's sake, Professor, close that damn door and put up some privacy charms, will you?" Hermione snapped, gesturing to him to sit in a chair once he'd finished. "Go on, Harry, have a read, then we'll talk it over afterwards.

Harry obeyed, unrolling the parchment easily.

MARRIAGE CONTRACT

I, Lord Voldemort, also known as Tom Marvolo Riddle, hereby state my intention to marry and to bond with Harry James Potter. If this contract is enacted, I shall give my promise;

1. To cease all hostile and violent actions performed by myself, and by my forces against the Wizarding and Muggle worlds.

2. To protect, with all of my being, said bride.

3. To ensure that said bride comes to no harm whilst within my jurisdiction.

4. To teach, and to train said bride to the best of my abilities in any and all subjects that should interest him, or to provide tutors for any subjects in which I cannot teach.

5. To allow one friend of said bride to reside within my jurisdiction and to have prolonged contact with said bride.

If this contract is enacted, I shall expect;

1. The cessation of all hostile and violent actions performed against myself, and my forces by the Order of the Phoenix and the Ministry of Magic.

2. The right to deal with those who have broken the laws of my jurisdiction within my jurisdiction, however is seen fit by our courts of law.

3. Said bride to reside within my jurisdiction, and to share a bedchamber with myself.

4. Said bride to refrain from any destructive action against myself, my forces, and himself.

If any conditions of this contract are broken, all terms of this contract is to be considered null and void excepting those specifically regarding said bride.

"You weren't always such a harpy." Snape's voice observed from across the room.

"My fiancé wasn't always dead." Hermione's stone cold rejoinder. Pause. "What will you do, if Harry accepts? Where will you go?"

"I will go to my Lord. And yourself?"

"I will go with Harry, if he wants me." Harry cleared his throat then, looking up, pretending that he hadn't heard their conversation.

"So, it's a case of my happiness for everyone else's survival?" He asked Snape pointedly, surprised when the older man shook his head.

"The Dark Lord wishes for you to be happy. He believes that you will grow to be happy with him."

"And if he is wrong?"

"Then, yes. Your happiness for the survival of the rest of the world. Is it really such a bad deal?"

"It is for me."

"Let me read it, Harry?" Hermione asked, nudging his shoulder with her head. "We can talk our way through it. I'm sure Voldemort will negotiate if there are things that you don't like, or desperately want, isn't that right, Professor?"

"I'm not your damn Professor, Granger!" Snape spat angrily. "Hogwarts is dead, girl. It's been dead ever since that damn mutt died!" He paused, voice uncertain. "I'm sorry, Potter, that was uncalled for. There is room for negotiation."

"Thank you, Professor." Hermione smiled softly. "Hogwarts isn't dead, sir, it's just hibernating. Once this war is over, it will be back. It hasn't been that long, not really. Only two years."

"Two years of war is long enough." Harry interjected, voice hollow. "If I accept this as it is, how long will it be until the wedding?"

"Three days, with an end to hostilities beginning as soon as you sign the bottom of the contract. The bonding to be held that night."

"Harry! You need to think about this!" Hermione demanded. "This is your life, you can't base it on a spur-of-the-moment decision!"

"Hermione, how many Order Members are out in the field right now? How many people that we know?" Harry asked slowly. "Forty three are in that meeting room right now. If I sign this now, that's forty three people who get to go home. Forty three people who get to live the rest of their lives. I'd be a fool to keep this war going. I know that we're not winning. We're not losing either, but in a war like this, a draw will end with all of us dead." His eyes met hers, a wry smile on his face. "Got a quill, Hermione?"