So this is my second flashback, this one also takes place in chapter 10 of One Mistake, at the second asterix (*) near the end of the chapter, written from Leland's POV after he finds out the he has a daughter
...
I was just so upset, so angry and frustrated: frustrated with herand frustrated with myself; how could I not've noticed ANYRHING about Leilani, my DAUGHTER when she and Kila had been living with us for almost 4 months?
"GAAAAH!" I cried, slamming my fist into the stone wall by the pool, hissing in a breath as I felt one of my fingers break. "Oh for FUCKS sake!"
Apparently life REALLY wanted to fuck with me today.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck...
"Oww..." I groaned quietly, sliding down the wall to sit at the base, forehead resting on my knees.
My thoughts were just a jumbled mess, moments and memories flashing before my eyes as my mind tried to make sense of what was happening: Kila serving us at the bar in Kona, Kila yelling at me for taking Leilani and scaring her, Kila sitting at the kitchen table the morning after she'd gotten here, Kila's arms wrapping around me before she pulled me into the pool, Kila next to me on the bench in the garage, leaning forward, the way her hand rested on my arm as my hand sat in the small of her back as I pulled her close-
"DAMNIT!"
I'd really started liking this girl, who'd shown up on our doorstep with her daughter, MY daughter, and she never even bothered to mention ANYTHING about it to me!
"My daughter," I murmured to myself. "I have a daughter..."
And all of a sudden I was angry with myself again: how the hell could I not've figured out it was my daughter? Leilani looked Hawaiian, just like Kila, but, thinking back now, there were resemblances to me too; her eyes- MY eyes.. Her mouth, and her ears stuck out like mine, though not as much. Her personality too: I was evil if someone woke me up too early (without a good reason, a VERY good reason), and she laughed and smiled a lot, not crying much, even in the middle of an argument.. Like tonight...
Of course it all came together in hindsight, it always does. But why hadn't anyone else noticed anyth-
"Lyssa," I whispered, interrupting my own train of thought.
Lyssa had figured it out long ago, that's why she never liked Kila, especially after Kila started living in Duane Lee's room..
Crap. Well that's kind of awkward now. I had been starting to wish Kila wasn't sharing with him, hell I remember being jealous of my brother. Kila said he was only a brother to her, but what about him?
HOW CAN THIS MANY THINGS BE RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD IN SUCH A FUCKING SHORT TIME?
I smacked my hands down onto the pavement beneath me, cursing again as my broken finger made contact with the ground. I stood and jumped onto the top of the wall, pacing back and forth along its length.
Was I angry with her or not? I had reason to be, I was pissed back in the kitchen, but where do I go from here? Sure I'm angry with her, but I'm angry with a lot of people right now, myself being the first, and my DEAR half sister Lyssa being the second for not saying anything either.
"Gotta fucking LOVE family sometimes," I growled to the gecko in the leaves of the tree I was glaring at.
I heard the screen door open, and hopped off the wall, expecting dad, or Beth, or even Duane Lee. I wasn't expecting the girl I saw sitting at the edge of the pool wither her feet dangling in the water.
I froze for a minute, just staring at her, unsure of what to do or say. I could feel my anger boiling back up inside me and I knew I'd say something I'd regret if I didn't get out of here soon.
As I took a step, I guess my foot scuffed a pebble or something, cuz she looked up in surprise before shock, guilt and maybe fear flashes onto her face when she saw me.
"Leland," she managed, almost in a whisper.
I guess I was glaring as walked towards the house, judging from her expressions as she scrambled to her feet, slipping in the water on the pool deck. I didn't reply and just kept walking towards the door, needing to get away from her as soon as possible if I wanted to keep my mouth shut.
"Wait!" she called, grabbing my arm as I walked past her.
"What?" I snarled back, fighting to keep myself under control. I didn't WANT to be mad at her...
Please Leland, let me-"
"Let you explain?" I cut in. "Explain what? Why you never tried to find me? Why you never even bothered to tell me that I have a daughter? No, you had so many chances to say something Kilauea, to 'explain'. Now I just don't want to hear it."
Apparently I was more pissed than I'd thought I was. Oops.
She took a step back as shock and pain crossed her face. I knew id hurt her but I couldn't take back what I'd said and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't pissed at the moment.
I think we'd both forgotten that she was holding onto my arm until I yanked out of her grasp...
...which caused her to stumble backwards, slip in a puddle and fall into the pool with a loud smack and a splash.
As I watched her disappear underwater I didn't know what to do. Should I jump in after her? What if she'd hit her head when she slipped? No matter how angry I was I didn't want to see her hurt.
I was just about ready to jump in and drag her out when she burst to the surface, coughing and sputtering. My heart twinged in 10 different ways as I looked down at her, before I turned away and walked inside, leaving her to pull herself out of the water.
Fuck. What was I suppose to do now?
