The Very Secret Diary of Petunia Evans

A Harry Potter Fic By: Storychan

Summary: Harry always wanted to know more about his mother, Lily. But he never thought to ask the woman who knew her best….her sister, Petunia! Turns out Petunia had a LOT to tell…..

Warning: This is a diary format fic from a really villainous canon character, Petunia Dursley's, point of view. Expect Victim!Petunia, Villified! Lily, and Lovable!Vernon. Possible Potter-bashing. Rated T because of the awfulness Lily is accused of. Takes place in Lily's childhood. Eventual Petunia/Vernon, Lily/Snape, and Lily/James! There will be DH spoilers.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

R & R!

Ever since he'd seen Snape's memories at the Battle of Hogwarts, Harry had wanted to know more about his mother's life. He'd seen a glimpse of her childhood in Snape's head, but he wanted more. None of his parents' friends really knew what Lily had been like before she arrived at Hogwarts. Snape could probably tell him a lot about his mother's early life….but Snape was dead. Harry slowly realized that only one person could answer his burning questions…..and that person was one he'd vowed never to see again.

His Aunt Petunia.

He'd been at the Burrow for a while since Voldemort was vanquished, just thinking about it all….his mother, Snape, Voldemort, how their lives had shaped his….How their decisions had helped him live to save the world. When the thought to question Petunia had eventually occurred to him, he quickly realized Petunia would never agree to meet with him.

So he begged Mr. Weasley to visit his abandoned old home (if you could call it a 'home'….it was more of a reluctant residence), 4 Privet Drive, and find some artifact that could give him answers.

Mr. Weasley didn't want to. They weren't supposed to ever go back there- plus, he was busy with work. But Harry begged with such frequency that at last Mr. Weasley agreed. Harry would be happy if Mr. Weasley found some photos of his mother as a child that Petunia hadn't burned, or even a picture of the house she'd grown up in.

He didn't expect much to be found.

Thus, when Mr. Weasley returned that evening, Harry felt apprehensive. "Did you find anything at the house?" he asked.

"Your mother's maiden name was Evans, right, Harry?" Mr. Weasley replied cryptically.

"Yes," Harry nodded. "So?"

"I think you'd better take a look at this," said Mr. Weasley said, holding up a small, dusty black book, its spine coated with tape and cheap glitter.

"What is that thing?" asked Harry.

"Read it," replied Mr. Weasley, holding it out to him. Harry gingerly opened the first page, eyes narrowed with suspicion. In the childish scrawl of a little girl were the long-ago written words The Very Secret Diary of Petunia Evans.

"Your aunt probably wrote this when she was a little girl," said Mr. Weasley. "Meaning your mother was a little girl at the time too."

Harry's eyes, so much like his mother's, widened. It was the perfect window into his mother's early past!

Eagerly, he turned the first page. The first words he read stunned him.

Lily is my favorite person.

"Her favorite person?" repeated Harry, incredulous. "Aunt Petunia called her a freak! That doesn't make any sense."

"I guess you'll have to keep reading in order to figure it all out, Harry," said Mr. Weasley sagely.

"Yeah," said Harry. "I guess I will. I'd love to see a time when Aunt Petunia didn't insult my mother whenever she spoke of her," he said angrily. Aunt Petunia had been awful to him. He hoped he could stomach reading her words long enough to figure out the secrets of his mother's childhood.

Shaking his head, he continued reading:

Lily is my favorite person.

She's my big sister. She's ten right now, so next year she's going to middle school. She says we can transfer to St. Martha's Academy, because at St. Martha's, primary school would be in the same building as her, and we'd be together still. She wouldn't have to leave me!

"But Mum DID leave her," Harry realized. "The year after Aunt Petunia wrote this, Mum went to Hogwarts without her."

He wondered if that was the beginning of the rift between them.

She wouldn't have to leave me! Harry read again, emerald eyes widening. How did Petunia go from never wanting her sister to leave….to pretending she didn't HAVE a sister? He kept reading:

I don't like being anywhere that Lily's not. I don't like talking to people…..I prefer to just listen, to tune in to the wonderful conversations everybody else is having. That's why Lily calls me "Tuney"…not just because it's part of my name…"PeTUNia." It's also because she knows I'm always tuned in, and will always be there to listen to her. I love her so much!

Harry struggled to wrap his brain around that. Petunia had once loved Lily? Obviously, he realized, that love had turned to hate long before he was born. He wondered how as he returned to reading:

Lily is always smiling…she's so nice to everybody. I'm too shy to really be nice….I mean, I want to be nice, but usually I just stand in the corner while Lily says nice things to people, and I nod. I wish I could be more like her.

"No, you don't," said Harry aloud. "You never wanted to be a witch like her, Aunt Petunia! You wanted nothing to do with her OR me!" He took a deep breath. He'd heard of his mother's kindness before…it made him smile to think she was always like that. But he still couldn't figure out what had changed his aunt so much since she'd written those words he now read. How did Tuney, the girl who wanted to be like his mother, become Aunt Petunia, the woman who refused to even talk about her? Shaking his head, he kept reading:

Lily says she'll never leave me, and we'll be not just sisters, but friends. Lily has lots of friends, but I don't. I'm glad she's going to St. Martha's with me next year…I don't know what I'd do if she ever left.

"I do," said Harry, closing the book for a moment. "You'd start hating her so much that years later, when her child showed up on your doorstep, you'd try to make sure he-I- never went to Hogwarts. Because Hogwarts took my Mum away from you."