A/N: Headcanon for this story: Stein and Marie are Maka's godparents, but they're not together. But, they had crushes on each other at Shibusen (and still do.)
(just saying, this isn't actually canon :/ why u no canon, plotlines?)

Uh, and, Marie's a Deathscythe, but she's not currently assigned to anywhere. :D

Oh, and Stein doesn't have the screw in his head but he does have the facial scar.

I don't own Soul Eater. Damn it.

I could have used the Japanese suffixes for 'aunt' and 'uncle' in here. I know them, I'm just lazy.

Be warned… this makes regular fluff look like a dark, angsty, melancholy rampage. BEWARE THE CUTE.

"Kami… why didn't you tell me that I was house-and-babysitting with Stein?" Marie asked, whispering to her friend whilst Spirit was preoccupied with his daughter.

"You'll be fine. And, for your information, Maka wanted the both of you to look after her." Kami explained. Marie sighed.

"I mean, we're good friends, and I'm pretty sure I've managed to keep it hidden since Shibusen, but… staying a week with him… I just… I don't know… if I'm over him." Marie sighed, rubbing her arm.

"So what? Maybe you're not supposed to be over him." Kami said. Marie sighed, looking over at the silver haired man who had situated himself on the couch, listening to Maka explaining some inane book series called Princess Sparkles to him.

"I know…" Marie said, exasperatedly.

"Well, if you do decide that you're not over him and you go any further than that, please change the sheets on our bed. Or clean wherever the hell you do it." Kami said. Marie's uncovered eye widened.

"We're not going to… No!" Marie exclaimed. Kami smirked before kneeling down to Maka, who had run over to her and swept her up in a tiny yet strong hug.

"Oh, I'm going to miss you, my darling Maka-chan." Kami said, placing a kiss on her daughter's forehead.

"I miss you too, Mama. And Papa." Maka said, batting her eyelids. Kami smiled.

"Now, you be good for Aunty Marie and Uncle Stein, you hear me?" Kami asked. Maka nodded.

"I will. I'll be good for them because I love them very much." Maka said, matter-of-factly. Marie smiled widely and even Stein gave a small smirk. Maka then ran over to her father, who picked her up and spun her around.

"Papa promises to bring you back a book, okay?" Spirit asked. Maka giggled.

"Will you read it to me when you get back?" Maka asked. Spirit nodded.

"Of course, sweetie." Spirit smiled.

"B-But who will read to me while you and Mama are gone?" Maka asked, worriedly.

"Well, last time I checked, Uncle Stein and Aunty Marie could read." Spirit said. Maka turned to her godparents.

"Can you guys read?" she asked. Marie and Stein both nodded at the girl.

"Wow! I can read a little bit. Papa has to read the big words, though." Maka said. Spirit kissed his daughter on the cheek before they did their special Eskimo kiss.

"Papa! It feels tickly!" Maka exclaimed. Spirit smiled and handed Maka to Marie. If they let the little girl down, she'd probably run after Spirit and Kami.

"Well, we'd best be off." Kami said.

"You've got the number of the hotel, right?" Spirit asked. Stein rolled his eyes.

"Yes, for the twelfth time, senpai." he crossed his arms. Spirit nodded.

"If you need to-" Kami started, but she was cut off by Marie raising her hand.

"Go! Have fun! We'll be fine." Marie smiled, holding onto the sandy-blonde haired toddler, who was currently infatuated with the band of her aunt's eyepatch.

"Alright… if you need anything, call us." Kami said, stroking her daughter's cheek gently, causing her to giggle.

"We will." Stein replied.

"Now, go. You're twenty-one; it's time to have a holiday to act like it." Marie said, leaning down to whisper in her goddaughter's ear.

"Say goodbye to Mama and Papa, Maka." she whispered. The little girl giggled and waved at her parents.

"Bye-bye, Mama, Papa!" Maka chimed, her green eyes wide. This just made Kami and Spirit to fawn over their daughter more. After noticing that they had lingered in the doorway for far too long, Marie spoke up.

"Go, you two! You'll miss your flight!" Marie exclaimed. Maka looked at the hand movement Marie was making, a sort of shooing motion, and copied it.

"Go you two! You'll… that thing that Aunty Marie said!" she copied Marie, causing her mother to coo over her further.

"Kami, come on." Spirit said, putting his arm around his wife.

"Alright. Thank you so much for house sitting for us, guys. Maka wanted you both here, so… If she's fussy, just read to her. That usually works. We'll bring you back a 'thank you' present." Kami said. Marie nodded.

"Have fun, you two." Marie smiled, shutting the door after Spirit and Kami had waved them goodbye. The couple left down the hallway that led to their apartment, the one that Stein and Marie would be living in for the next week. Marie sighed, causing Maka to do the same.

"You're very cute, aren't you?" Marie asked. Maka nodded.

"I know." she replied.

"Modest, too." Stein piped up, crossing his arms and smirking. Maka, being three and not knowing what 'modest' meant, simply giggled and looked at Marie.

"Uncle Stein funny." she said, her cheeks rosy. Marie smiled back.

"He is, Maka." she replied.

After the show she, Stein and Maka were watching went to an ad break, Marie stood up and walked into the kitchen. This caused Maka to gasp.

"Wh-Where's Aunty Marie going?" Maka asked, looking at her godfather worriedly.

"I gather she's probably going to get your dinner." Stein replied. Maka calmed slightly at that, before crawling on Stein's lap and sitting up on her knees, eye level with him.

"Uncle Stein?" she asked.

"Yes?" Stein asked back.

"What are Mama and Papa going to do on their holiday?" Maka asked. Stein smirked slightly. He knew the real answer; one that was highly inappropriate for a three year old to hear.

"Well, Maka," Stein began, "I think that they're going to have lots and lots of-"

"Stein!" Marie yelled from the kitchen.

"I was going to say 'fun'." Stein replied in a slightly raised voice, awaiting a response.

"I'm sure." Marie sighed, shaking her head. Stein rolled his eyes before looking back down at his goddaughter, looking for all the world like she had a million more questions to ask, and that she was trying to pick just one.

"What is it, Maka?" Stein asked.

"Well… If you're my Uncle Stein, and Aunty Marie is my Aunty Marie…" Maka began.

"Yes…?" Stein said, not sure where she was going.

"… Does that mean that you're married?" Maka asked, her pigtails bouncing as she readjusted herself on the couch.

"No." Stein replied, quickly. Maka's face dropped.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because… because you have to be in love for a long time before getting married." Stein said. Trying to explain marriage to a three-year-old was difficult.

"But Papa says that you and Aunty Marie love each other very much!" Maka said, clenching her fists. Stein raised an eyebrow.

"Your father said that, did he?" Stein asked. Maka nodded.

"He said that you loved each other very much, and that you'd probably love each other very much all over the house while he was gone."

"Oh, I think that's quite enough of your father's opinion, tonight." Stein said, picking the girl up and holding her against his chest, walking out into the kitchen. Marie turned around, a wide smile on her face.

"What were you and Uncle Stein talking about?" Marie asked.

"Oh, let's not go there." Stein said. Marie raised an eyebrow.

"Why?" Marie asked. Stein sighed and looked at Maka.

"Maka, I need you to put your fingers in your ears and sing for me." Stein said. Maka smiled and stuck her fingers in her ears, proceeding to bellow.

"La! La la la la-a-a!" she began, when Stein answered Marie's question.

"Maka overheard Spirit saying that we love each other and remarking about how we were going to have sex all over his house while he and Kami were gone." Stein said. Marie sighed and rolled her eyes.

"He's insufferable. I love him, but he's insufferable." Marie said.

"Well, that's a bit oxymoronic, isn't it?" Stein asked, grimacing as Maka sang loudly into his ear.

"Okay, Maka, that's quite enough." Stein said, pulling the little girl's hands from her ears and resting them at her sides.

"What did you two say? Was it that you love each other?" Maka asked. Marie looked at Stein, who looked back at Marie.

"I think it's high time you learnt the lesson we've all learnt over the years, Maka," Stein began, "101 reasons why you should never listen to your father."

Maka giggled as Stein sat her at a chair at the dinner table. Maka liked being carried around everywhere; Marie and Stein figured that if they kept her attention until she fell asleep, it wouldn't register that she wouldn't see her parents for a week.

Unfortunately, this effect stopped working when Maka was put to bed. Marie was in Kami and Spirit's room, reading a magazine and Stein was in the loungeroom, flicking through television channels. He and Marie had decided that they'd spend alternate nights on the couch, though Stein figured that he'd probably be swindled out of most of his nights in the actual bed.

An almighty cry rang out through the apartment. Marie threw her magazine down and Stein jumped up from the couch, both of them making their way swiftly to the bedroom of the crying girl, nearly bumping into each other at the doorway.

"Aunty Marie, Uncle Stein, I want Mama and Papa!" Maka cried, Marie picking her up and rubbing circles into her back.

"Maka, sweetie, do you want to come and sleep with Aunty Marie?" Marie asked. Maka sat up, sniffed and shook her head.

"No. I needa stay with you and Uncle Stein, because you need two people to keep the monsters away!" Maka said. Stein raised an eyebrow. Since when was this about monsters?

"I thought you wanted your parents, Maka." Stein said.

"I need them to keep the monsters away… b-but maybe you and Aunty Marie can do it." Maka blinked her eyes quickly, wiping away the tears. Stein looked over at Marie.

"Can't I fend away monsters from the couch?" Stein asked.

"No! You and Aunty Marie have to stay together." Maka insisted. Marie sighed and walked out of the room. Stein walked on the side opposite Maka and leant down to whisper in Marie's ear.

"You sure Spirit hasn't trained her up as an evil little minion?" he asked. Marie scowled at Stein.

"She's three, Stein." Marie said, putting Maka in the middle of the bed and pulling the covers over her. Maka immediately calmed down as Stein and Marie sat, under the covers, either side of her.

"You keep the monsters away." Maka yawned, turning over.

"Alright, Maka, we will." Marie replied, pulling Maka's hair out of her face.

"I'll go once she falls asleep." Stein mouthed. Marie sighed and shook her head.

"Don't. I spent many a night on that couch while Kami was pregnant, when Spirit needed a break from the hour-long vomiting shifts. It's not very comfortable. And I'm nearly a foot shorter than you. Plus, you'd have to go now if that was the case. She's already gone." Marie said.

"Really?" Stein asked, checking the little girl. Sure enough, she was already fast asleep.

"Yeah." Marie smiled

"And you're sure I can sleep here?" Stein asked. Marie nodded.

"It's fine. We're adults. We can control ourselves. Not that t-there's anything to control, of course." Marie clarified, though she may or may not have been lying.

"Of course not." Stein said. Of course there were urges to be controlled. Sleeping in the same bed with a woman as beautiful as Marie brought up a whole set of desires to be held back.

"So, you gonna stay?" Marie asked. She desperately hoped he'd say yes. Even if they weren't going to do anything.

"Fine with me. Plus, if I don't stay here," Stein started, making sure once again that Maka was sleeping, "the monsters are going to eat my goddaughter. And I don't think Spirit and Kami would look too kindly on that, somehow."

"No, that probably wouldn't be the best idea, would it?" Marie replied, a small smile on her face. Stein looked down at Maka, who was curled up in between him and Marie.

"Do you ever want kids, Stein?" Marie asked. Stein shrugged.

"I don't quite understand the concept well enough to answer correctly." Stein said.

"What… you mean sex?" Marie asked. Stein rolled his eyes.

"No, Marie. I quite clearly understand that concept." Stein smirked. Marie smiled back, trying not to blush.

What, did she think Stein didn't know what sex was? Of course he did! Oh, how she'd like for him to demonstrate his knowledge of the concept on… No! She couldn't have those thoughts. She focused back on what Stein was saying.

"I mean the concept of having a family," Stein began, "but I do expect that, at some time in my life, I will come to desire a progeny." Marie smiled a little at that.

"I want kids." Marie said. Stein smirked slightly at that.

"Are you offering to let me help?" Stein asked. Marie felt her face becoming hot. To imagine even the idea of that… it made her think things that were in no way appropriate thoughts with a three-year-old in the room.

Marie giggled slightly, hiding her thoughts, before yawning. This, in turn, caused Stein to yawn, which made Marie laugh. She had a very cute little laugh, which made Stein laugh. Stein had one of those deep, masculine laughs that turn women into puddles of melted goo. To stop this vicious cycle which would have had Marie blushing like a schoolgirl if she wasn't already, she switched off the light on the bedside table nearest her.

"Goodnight, Stein." Marie said, turning over and pulling the covers over her shoulders.

"Goodnight, Marie." Stein replied, doing the same.

That was the first night that Stein and Marie ever slept together.

A/N: SEE WHAT I DID THAR? *le creeper face*