Before the Veil

By Sister Grimm Erin

A Harry Potter Fanfiction

Warning: Remember that thing Erin likes to do where she ruins beloved children's series? This involves that thing. Oh, and I'm not Rowling; I'm just having fun.

#01 – Ring

The ring with the Black crest is the first to go into the trash.

#02 – Hero

She's never believed in heroes, so seeing worship for Voldemort in her eyes sickens him to his stomach.

#03 – Memory

If he tried to hate her, he only hated himself. If he admitted he loved her, he could never win. (But if he denied her, he could hear the ghost of a beautiful girl's cruel laughter echoing in his ears forever and ever.)

#04 – Box

He could judge her, but he never could put her in a box like he could everyone else.

#05 – Run

The one thing nobody ever accused Sirius Black of being was a coward, but sometimes all he does is run.

#06 – Hurricane

She never spoke of him much, but when she sees his hollow, black eyes staring into hers from an Azkaban cell, she gives him a ghost of a smile, and he is reminded of the hurricane that once was beautiful, cunning Bellatrix Black.

#07 – Wings

He escapes on a hippogriff, and it occurs to him during the feeling of the flight that there was a girl, now a woman, who once wished for wings rather than cages.

#08 – Cold

He has never thought of her as cold; for him, Bellatrix Black was always a fire.

#09 – Red

He sees the sheets the next morning, and cannot help but feel a bit of an accomplishment that for once, he was the one to make her bleed.

#10 – Drink

James was his drinking partner, but Bellatrix was the reason he indulged.

#11 – Midnight

The clock tolls midnight on her wedding day, and he thinks of Muggle fairy tales about girls turning back into who they really were at this hour.

#12 – Temptation

For Bellatrix, they were temptation, but for him, they were an addiction.

#13 – View

The family once owned castles, and as children, they used to play in the old abandoned buildings, admiring the view from the towers and not caring if they fell.

#14 – Music

He used to blare Muggle music from his speakers loud enough for the neighbors to hear, specifically to make her angry.

#15 – Silk

She is meant for silk sheets rather than black cotton, he thinks as he draws her naked, sleeping form, but of course, Bellatrix never did know she was beautiful.

#16 – Cover

She went with him to a Muggle party once, just to see what the fuss was about, and he found her drunker than it should be possible to be and kissing a boy, and the marks on her arms as he pulled her away left her wearing covered, long sleeves for a week afterwards.

#17 – Promise

"I'll kill you, Sirius Black," she hissed at him when she found Rodolphus weeping in the corridor. "I swear I will."

#18 – Dream

He never stopped dreaming of her in Azkaban, because she had never made him feel in a way simple enough for the dementors to steal.

#19 – Candle

His anger against her precision was like a candle against a blizzard.

#20 – Talent

People thought him talented at Hogwarts, but she taught him most of what he already knew.

#21 – Silence

She hates his chatter, but as he falls through the veil, she cannot find it in her to wish for his everlasting silence.

#22 – Journey

Her descent into madness was less a journey than it was a step back over a cliff.

#23 – Fire

They were taught that being a Black meant blood and fire, but eventually it meant ashes.

#24 – Strength

One thing they did give each other was strength.

#25 – Mask

There was a masquerade ball once, but they never could fool each other.

#26 – Ice

She struck fear into the hearts of men with her smile, but Sirius was the one that was truly terrifying.

#27 – Fall

She never would have fallen for him, but there was a time when he would have gone to hell and back for her.

#28 – Forgotten

There was one thing they never could do to each other: forget.

#29 – Dance

"Don't dance around, Sirius. Get to the point." "You never did learn the steps, Bella."

#30 – Body

There is nothing left to bury, and she is not sorry about that much.

#31 – Sacred

Neither of them will ever be saints.

#32 – Farewells

"Goodbye, Bellatrix." "Don't lie. You'll see me again." "But not like this."

#33 – World

He hates how Voldemort has become her entire world, but what is the point of saying that he wishes he was still part of it?

#34 – Formal

All formalities were swept under the rug when they were alone.

#35 – Fever

She makes him hot and cold when she kisses him feverishly, but he loves the implication that she might be eager for him.

#36 – Laugh

He loves her laugh, because it is never feigned.

#37 – Lies

The one thing Bellatrix is not is a liar.

#38 – Forever

Forever is a long way to walk, he thinks as he pulls his cloak about him as he leaves the house.

#39 – Overwhelmed

They did always overwhelm anyone but each other.

#40 – Whisper

"They'll never believe you, you know." "I know." "So why are you trying?"

#41 – Wait

Impatience: a trademark of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

#42 – Talk

James speaks often of bright, flashy Lily Evans, but Sirius never can talk about the girl he loves who loves Death.

#43 – Search

He searches for Harry, but he never did find himself.

#44 – Hope

Nothing worth having was ever gotten by hope alone, she always said.

#45 – Eclipse

He will always be eclipsed by her values, and she will always be eclipsed by his duty.

#46 – Gravity

The push and pull of gravity on his body reminds him of being pinned beneath her.

#47 – Highway
He used to take her on motorcycle rides along ancient Roman roads, and the silence was content.

#48 – Unknown

If being family made it wrong, how could that compare to everything else that was wrong?

#49 – Lock

The lock clicks open on his cell, and she only stares without surprise, as though she knew he could do it all along.

#50 – Breathe

"Did you love me?" "Only when I had to breathe."