Author's Note: This one's rather short but I hope you like it anyway. Enjoy! ~ KennyEchelon

Mom,

I don't know how to start this. We were never that close and I understand it's a bit too late to start now but I want you to know how sorry I am. I'm sorry that I was a pathetic excuse for a son. I'm sorry I occasionally let the bread burn. I'm sorry I accidentally screwed up the frosting for that cake the Mayor ordered one time and we had to start again. I'm sorry I wasn't as competent as my brothers.

I'm sorry that my name got picked on Reaping Day. I'm sorry this had to happen. I never wanted to be in the Hunger Games. No one did, obviously, but I wanted to be there for the family. There would've been very little chance of that if my head was beaten in or something.

I'm sorry I let Katniss share the berries. I'm sorry I let myself get so seduced by her that I was willing for us both to die. I should've died. I should've let myself get killed. Everything would have been much simpler. Snow wouldn't have chased after us and decimated the District. If I'd died, you and dad and the others would still be alive.

I would try to describe how guilty I feel but words just don't do it justice. I can't tell you how much I wish it was me instead of you. Even after resenting you for always reprimanding me, I still love you because you're my mom and nothing changes that.

Walking through the ruins of 12, it actually broke my heart. If I hadn't hated President Snow before, I certainly did then, but the hijacking from the tracker jacker venom turned these negative thoughts towards Katniss. I nearly killed her. She nearly died because I felt guilty and angry and upset and the only person the venom let me take it out on was her. They twisted my emotions until I almost killed the girl I love.

I couldn't recognise the feelings of grief because they'd been buried so deep and mutated until I doubted myself and everyone else. That's why I didn't write sooner, because I was still confused, not knowing whether your deaths were real or just a figment of the Capitol's imagination. After the rebellion had cleared Katniss helped me piece things together. As far as I remember, you like her right? At least… you said that she was more likely to survive than me.

I will marry that girl, mom. I will. I just wish that you would be there with the others.

I wish you were here,

Peeta