First fanfic, so be nice!

SETTING - AU, some time after Rido's death

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me...sadface...

Because no pain in all the world could compare to this. His heart had taken all the breaks it could bear, and now? It crumpled, leaving him with nothing but an empty hole in his chest. Death would be a luxury.

Prologue

Of all the things, lying was what came most easily to Zero, and this special talent was not in the least affected by the fib's size.

Actually, I'm not feeling well, Chairman, so I probably won't be attending classes today.

No, Yuuki, I'm not hungry. I don't need any of...that.

You don't scare me, Kuran.

"I do want to."

But somehow, that one coated his tongue with a thick, heavy bitterness.

Kaien's eyes narrowed, halfway hidden by the sheen of light reflecting off his glasses. Behind his intertwined fingers, a deep, aging frown stretched across his lips, and his teeth tore anxiously into the fragile skin on the inside of his cheek. Like any good, doting father, he obsessively worried over his son's well-being. And like any good, doting father, he knew to never take his son's words at face value.

Zero was the type of person who tried at all costs to keep his feelings exactly that and that alone - his feelings. Kaien would like to say that he had raised his children to feel comfortable enough to confide in him, but...well, a single look at them and all they'd been through told him otherwise. Not once had he ever been approached until the situation was way out of hand, and even then, usually Yuuki - or sometimes even Kaname - was the one to tell him. Of course, in some ways, he believed he'd done the most he could. It wasn't his fault that Yuuki and Zero concealed so many of their deepest fears and troubles behind bright smiles (and in Zero's case, indifferent and detatched sarcasm) - that was just the way it was. Just as the sky is blue, the grass is green, and blood is red. That's simply how their family works.

Sometimes, Kaien wondered what it would be like to have a normal household. To have the members not brought together by the death of loved ones due to unnatural - vampiric - causes. Papa, Yuuki would say, Can you help me brush my hair? And of course, Kaien could never say no to the innocent prefect. Then, maybe Zero - a different Zero, whose eyes twinkled brightly with the wonders of youth and smile stretched a mile across his face, not an ounce of enmity coloring his bright, attractive features - would tease Yuuki playfully for her ridiculous codependence, and they would all share a hearty, happy laugh.

Kaien's daydreams always ended in laughter.

But this was not one of his imaginary heart-warming family moments. This was cold, harsh reality - the reality where his 'innocent' daughter was in actuality, the daughter of the Kurans', and a pureblood vampire, and his bright-eyed Zero was a derailing ex-human, just a few years, or months even, away from becoming what he feared the most.

This was a reality where a heart-to-heart was simply inconceivable.

Still, you couldn't blame Kaien for trying.

"And you're sure?" he asked, already knowing the hunter's answer.

"Yes," Zero hissed, teeth flashing dangerously in irriation.

Kaien sighed in poorly concealed disappointment. He would never be seen as a father figure to Zero - the boy had far too much hate and despair in his heart to be able to wedge in a character as big and enigamic as Kaien. And to put it simply, Zero just didn't trust him. He didn't trust anyone. Kaien doubted he even trusted himself.

Cross dropped his hands from his mouth, resting them silently on the cool, polished wood of his desk, careful to not wrinkle or rustle the papers laying a mere few inches away from his knuckles. He fixed the unusual silver-haired boy with a questioning stare - one that both knew the meaning of. It was an out. A 'one last chance'. The ex-hunter said everything with his eyes that he couldn't with his mouth.

You don't have to do this. It doesn't have to be this way. There's still hope.

Zero merely shook his head, the silver metal of his earrings flashing.

Cross would always be strong, determined, stubborn - loving - but those lilac irises held something even more potent than that.

Pure self-hatred.

The Chairman inhaled deeply through his nose, insuring that his words would not come out as choked and as hoarse as his thoat - and heart - felt.

"Okay, Zero. But on one condition."

Zero's eyebrows raised, bewildered that the man had not only accepted his request, but was asking to make amendments. Perhaps he had overestimated the ex-hunter's affections. It wouldn't have been the first time...Yuuki...no, he wouldn't think of that right now.

Cross almost couldn't do it. Couldn't even allow the traitorous words to exit his mouth. But he knew he had to, for the sake of his sanity, for the sake of Yuuki.

With intense gravity, leaving absolutely no room for argument, the Chairman whispered, "I want a funeral. A big one, and you can't argue. There'll be flowers. White roses, to be exact. And everyone you've ever known will be there, including the entire academy - both the Day and Night class."

Zero swallowed, his mouth suddenly very dry. The prospect of a funeral with all those people there, judging, was horrifying. Oh, and Yuuki would be there of course, her wide brown eyes accusing - angred by his weakness. And Kuran would be there too, all the other vampires would, mocking him their grim, saddened expressions, as if they really cared.

But if this was what the Chairman wanted, that's the way it would be. It's the least Zero could do to repay the kind-hearted man for all the troubles he'd brought with him the night he invaded Kaien's happy home, shirt drenched in blood, body weak and trembling.

"Okay," the deteriorating Level D murmered softly, almost too quiet to be heard. With that, he turned, opposite the direction of the tired-looking elder man sitting numbly in his chair. Zero found that he couldn't face him to utter the rest. Instead, he gritted his teeth and muttered shakily under his breath, "Thank you, Cross. For everything."

And then Zero was finished. He had done what he needed to do. And yet, why was he still standing there, jaw slackened, eyes open wide and expecting? What more could possibly be said?

Those three words bubbled to his lips.

No.

He swallowed the preposterous idea. Nothing good would come from saying that. It would be pointless. Ignoring the overwhelming itch to stay, the hunter gripped the doorknob tightly in his hand, knuckles white, and twisted ever so softly, listening for the faint click. When it came, he knew there was no turning back - no second guessing. He'd made his decision and he was going to stick to it. He threw the Chairman's office door open quickly, lest he was weak enough to hesitate, and exited the room with great speed only a vampire could possess.

Still, a hallway away, he could hear the faint whisper, as if it was just a soft breeze, "And I'm sorry, Zero-kun."