Ah, the feeling of finally uploading a fic you've been conceptualizing since September...

This will be a lengthy fic to uploaded over the following months, update frequency unknown, focusing on many things and relationships. This includes an asexual romance between Skulduggery and Valkyrie, as as warning. I know that is certainly not everyone's thing!

I hope you all enjoy this. Feel free to ask questions- I want to try a more interactive approach with this fic.

Etymology: A-Chaoidh means "forever" in Scottish Gaelic. (It also means "never" when used negatively.)

The scent of burnt something filled Valkyrie's nose, and she cringed, shoulders rolling up towards her ears. Her detective skills helpfully alerted that she was on a cold stone floor, she had passed out, and something had very recently been set on fire.

A groan escaped her lips, originating from both pain and annoyance with herself. Her ears were ringing and she felt like her brain had been rattled. She must have fallen flat to the ground, no cushion or air magic to soften the blow. Now she wished she had put her thigh length hair into a ponytail that morning- maybe it would have served as a pillow.

Turning onto her stomach, she bent her knees and pushed up, easing herself into a crouch. Her eyes opened slowly and reluctantly, as she felt her head react violently to the movement and light. Glancing around, Valkyrie caught a familiar ivory face in the corner of her eye before she gave into the desire to shut her eyes again.

"Ground is moving," she muttered to her partner, slowly raising both her arms for balance and switching to her feet.

"Not quite," Skulduggery said, and she felt his hands around her waist, steadying her and lifting her to her feet. Energy gone, she slumped against him, arms thrown around his neck and head safely balanced on his shoulder. She was silent, feeling the ground solidify beneath her feet, as he softly checked the back of her head, fingers parting her hair. He made a low muttering noise, probably irritated that she had been hurt, but had nothing to report.

Valkyrie exhaled deeply, burying her face in the silk of his jacket, not quite ready to go back to being a full-grown adult yet. He spoke to her in a low voice, careful not to make her headache get worse.

"Symptoms?"

"Just dizzy, I think."

"I don't think you have a concussion," he said softly into her ear. "Are you going to be alright?"

"Think so," she replied, slowly easing her self away from his ribcage. Her nose scrunched up as she eased her eyes open again, taking in the scenery. They were in a dim, drab cave, stinking of moss and a musky smell, as well as the burning scent she had caught earlier. Now that her brain was beginning to stabilize, she could scan the cave, piecing together what she had missed when she was dead to the world. (Hopefully for no longer than ten minutes. That would just be embarrassing.)

She picked her sword off the ground, checking the blade and putting it back in its sheath in a fluid, practiced motion. No blood stains- it had been abandoned after she passed out.

Things neatly fell into place when she spotted the dead body, soaked in a shallow pool of water. It returned in a rush- following the human fireball across the city into an appropriately ominous cave, the battle once there, and finally, said pyromaniac backhanding her onto the cave's floor.

Ow. No wonder her head hurt so much. As for what happened after she passed out…

"I got this," Valkyrie said quietly, refusing explanation. She was a detective now, for God's sake. Lifting both of her hands to sides of her aching head, she muttered, "Just let the hard drive start up again."

"No one uses hard drives anymore, my dear Valkyrie," Skulduggery said, amusement masking the concern in his voice. He had his hand on the small of her back.

"Shut up. So he smacked me down, and…" She took in the scorch marks on the ground where she had laid, and then moved towards the body. "Tried to burn me up right there, I guess. Aimed at my back, to no avail, thanks to my coat. You retaliated- a little late, by the way, and hosed him down with water. He looks about three minutes dead."

"Precisely. You're going to run me out of business, one of these days."

"That's the plan." She smiled, facing him. He glanced back at her, skull as blank as ever. She read his expression easily- she had been able to do so two minutes after meeting him, and immediately frowned.

"Okay, what's wrong? Did he burn your hat or something?" It'd explain the smell. She reached for the brim, but he stopped her.

"…Not exactly," he said, hesitant, apologetic.

He reached for her back, and Valkyrie felt his gloved hand pull through her dark brown and absurdly long hair. Momentarily puzzled, she waited patiently as he displayed his fist for her to see.

In his hand were long, shiny clumps of brown hair, badly burnt at the ends.

"Oh my God." Valkyrie said, quietly, and then, louder, "Oh my God." She reached behind her back, grabbing at her formerly gorgeous hair, and making alarming noises as it felt apart in her hands.

"That bastard!" She howled, turning to face the body. "Do you know how long it took to grow this hair? Ten years!" The dead body didn't say anything. Not like she expected it to, but still. She scowled at it, considered kicking the dead man, but she wasn't forty-five anymore.

"Who is he, anyway?" Asked Valkyrie, realizing that she didn't remember him introducing himself.

"Haven't the foggiest. I'll call the Sanctuary to pick him up." He tapped the face of his wristwatch, and Valkyrie took a second to marvel at the teeny tiny technology.

She played with what was left of her hair as he spoke into the watch's face. The shortest ends tickled her chin. She hadn't had hair this short since she was eight.

It took her a moment too long to realize that Skulduggery had finished his conversation and was staring at her, somewhat amused.

"You're really going to sulk about your hair?"

"It was really, really good hair."

"It still is. Just a bit shorter."

"And raggedy. And burnt."

"…That is true, I admit." He circled her, and she stood up straighter, feeling self-conscious. "Would you like me to cut it a bit cleaner? I assume you will be visiting Amelia later, but for now…"

"Yes. Just get rid of it." He ignored the sword at her side- the poisoned blade would worsen the problem somewhat. She turned her back to him, and he summoned a bit of water to use as an ice blade. Convenient. She could probably make one herself, but she saw no need when she had an elemental sword that switched between fire, ice, poison- whatever she needed.

As he cut, the last of the weight on her neck came flying off, and the ends of hair practically flew upwards.

"There. Not bad, if I say so myself." He turned the blade towards her, and she caught her reflection. Better- it was more evenly cut than one would think, for a knife made of ice, but she scowled anyway.

"I look eleven. Ugh, China would scold me if she saw me like this. This is just …awful."

"Nonsense. You look as beautiful as always," replied Skulduggery, facing her.

"That's sweet of you. And a blatant lie. Ugh, how long is this going to take to grow back? I might have to steal some of your hats."

"I bought you some, you know."

"That loses half the fun." Grabbing his wrist, she angled the mirror so she could see herself again. Most of his hats wouldn't hide her hair, but at least they'd serve as a distraction. …She paused, a distant memory coming back to her, and groaned. "I take that back. I don't look eleven."

"Oh?"

"I look like Davina Marr."

Skulduggery paused, tilting his head as to show he needed a moment to recall the long dead woman's face. "You do not," he said finally.

"Yes, I do. I think my nose is shrinking."

"It isn't."

"Oh God, I'm slowly turning into that awful cow. If I start speaking in an American accent and calling everyone sweetie, please put me out of my misery."

He glanced at her. "You are ridiculous."

"I'm serious!"

They strolled out of the cave mouth, and Valkyrie paused him out of habit, pushing her fingers under his shirt collar and activating the façade. Her fingers ran across his collarbone for a lingering moment, and then proceeded to adjust his shirt and brush the curls off his fake face into the crown of his fedora.

In turn, he ruffled her hair, getting used to the new length.

She scowled at him, and he gave her a brilliant smile in return, face convincing and real. He and China had both improved at faces; China had perfected facades, with no drooping features and almost impossibly realistic skin, and no time limits, while Skulduggery had learned a bit about when it was appropriate to grin.

It was an unchanging face and she liked it very much, with its brilliant green eyes and mouth that had perfect little smirks. Not as much as she liked his skull, but still. She pushed herself onto her tiptoes (just for show, even though his cheekbones were rather high up) and placed a kiss on his cheek. She felt the cool bone against her lips, hidden under the layer of magic.

"Thank you for saving my life, yet again," she said quietly, speaking into his ear. (She would never get used to that.)

"You make it sound like it isn't a daily thing."

"Oh, shut up, you're a damsel in distress more than I am."

"Then I'm making up the debt," he smiled warmly. "Until the end."

"Until the end."

His fingers pressed lightly into her waist as he wrapped his arm around her, and the clouds gasped as the two rose up beside them.

Valkyrie sat in the brightly lit hair salon, tapping her fingers on the arm of her chair and glancing at her phone. Skulduggery had dropped her off as he went to the Sanctuary to discuss what had happened to them earlier. ("Please tell them I was grievously injured instead of having a hair emergency.")

Her phone was old. Extremely old. She was having trouble keeping up with all the updates and additions, (the hologram rumors just made her shudder) and could now understand why Skulduggery had been carrying a clunker of a phone when they had met. Now, though, her phone was over a decade older than his.

The message system of this one was easy, which was why she stubbornly stuck with it. She had been opening up a message from Skulduggery when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye, and Valkyrie sighed as she looked up.

"Can't I hold onto it for once?" She eyed the grey container the young assistant held, where a few phones already rattled around.

"Miss Amelia hates interruptions," the young man repeated as if reciting it in school.

"I know, but…"

"Tanith can wait," Amelia's voice came, sing song, from one of the back rooms.

"Skulduggery, actually." Valkyrie reluctantly dropped the phone into the basket and began making her way down the hall. Her phone went off again, and the assistant jumped before hissing a "ssshh" at it, and it silenced. (Amelia also insisted on her and her assistants' voices would be put on all of her clients' voice list.)

"But he never texts. Likes the sound of his own voice too much, that man." Amelia sounded mystified, talking over the sound of running water.

"He's in a meeting. I'd be with him, but this happened." She stepped into the doorway of the room, glancing at Amelia's back. The thirty something mage's chartreuse hair fell in curls down the back of her striped tank, and she wore vintage jeans fashionably paired with cowboy boots. She looked barely nineteen, face youthful and figure thin and straight. Amelia was a child compared to Valkyrie, but the younger elemental managed to boss her around whenever they met anyway. It had been like this from the very start.

"What happened?" Amelia asked. When she didn't get an answer, she turned, slowly, wiping her hands on a rag sticking out of her pocket, and blinked at Valkyrie. Her glasses hung from a chain around her neck, so she needed to squint near nearsightedly for a moment to get the full effect. When she caught sight of the choppy locks framing her face, she visibly recoiled.

"Dear God."

"…So it is that bad?"

"Yes."

"Skulduggery said it was-"

Amelia sighed and shook her head. Ushering Valkyrie over to a styling chair, she continued, "He is Skulduggery; I am not. My opinion is unbiased, and thus, much better. No offense."

"None taken." Said Valkyrie, hanging up her sword and coat on a hook by the chair.

"Speaking of him," Amelia grabbed for Valkyrie's left hand, examining her still bare ring finger. The dark haired woman resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"I would have called you, calm down."

"My phone is always off."

"I'd find a way. Don't pout, he's not your partner." Amelia, thankfully, took that as a sign. Valkyrie was waiting for the stylist to pull her hair off her neck before remembering she had none to lift.

Amelia rested her nut brown arms on the top of the chair, peering at their faces in the mirror. The young elemental tilted her head side to side, thinking. "What am I going to do," she murmured. "I trust that you, Detective Cain, did not mutilate your hair willingly."

"It was burned off."

"Ouch." She winced, and then studied her face again. "I'm a damn good hairdresser, but I'm not that good. All I can do is fix it up and advise hats until it grows out again. I have some hair growth potions—don't look at me at that, they're magic and they're in little bottles, they're potions- that would help."

"Or…" Valkyrie started, playing with the ends of her damaged hair.

"Or?"

"You could… cut it shorter." She had been quietly thinking about it since she had caught her reflection. "Like… really really short."

Amelia was completely silent for a long moment, dark brown eyes staring deeply at their reflections. And then she suddenly broke into a Cheshire cat smile. "I like that idea."

Amelia's mood, as she handed Valkyrie her phone and escorted her out the door, was almost terrifying cheerful. She had never seen the hairdresser this pleased with herself. (And she had known her for over fifteen years.) She had taken at least fifty photos of Valkyrie's head, from a dozen different angles. Then, not satisfied with only that, dressed her up in some of her clothes and started a short notice photo shoot. That girl was never content with just a trim.

Finally, she had thanked her profusely for letting her cut it like this, and gave her the photo shoot clothes 'as a gift'. She seemed to think it was the detective's idea to get most of her hair burned off. At this point, Valkyrie was suspecting the stylist had sent the man to burn off her hair as a part of some ridiculous scheme. She had been hounding her about a short style for years.

The haircut had been free, as usual. (You saved my life, Amelia always told her when she attempted to pay. I think I owe you a life's worth of free haircuts in exchange.)

Valkyrie, on the other hand, had a growing sense of dread rising in her stomach. She kept reaching up and touching the back of her head, then running her fingers across the swatch of hair over her forehead. In her other arm, she held the bundle of her clothes, her sword hidden between the folds of her jacket. She forced herself to stop worrying- her hair was a little longer than a pixie cut and looked great, Amelia did a fantastic job, Skulduggery would think…

She shuddered and picked up her phone, looking for a distraction. Tanith had messaged her the news that the kids would be over in the next few days. She frowned- how old were they now? Fifty something? Sparrow might be sixty already. Her brother, Spite, was a little younger. One of them was married with kids, the other single. She couldn't remember which was which. Or maybe it was both? It was all rather depressing. She remembered when they were born. And after that, her godmother ceremony. The magic community was very keen on godparents. Thank God Tanith said she was done with kids. …Well, besides a few comments here and there that Valkyrie really didn't need to hear.

(Valkyrie, on the other hand, was a little more than half Tanith's age, and childless. …And a virgin, at that, which was something that Tanith would probably never completely get.)

Distracted by her trivial problems, she hadn't noticed the car pulling up on the other side of the street until she heard the distinct click of a familiar car door opening. She gave herself a final look over with her phone's advanced camera, pressing her short hair into place and adjusting her clothes. She scolded herself for a minute- it was just hair, and nothing was worse than looking like Davina Marr's little sister- and then went back to fretting.

She watched Skulduggery's car- not the Bentley, of course, as it was long gone now, but one classy and old enough for his standards- as he exited and began walking down the sidewalk, past the shops, past the salon, past her…

She frowned, staring at the back of his suit. He had passed her without a second glance. Folding her arms, she watched him with a raised eyebrow as he took out his phone, about a yard away.

….God damn, he was a terrible detective. If he couldn't recognize his partner with a haircut and borrowed clothes, he'd be doomed with actual disguises. Thankfully, he had someone with the eyes he lacked. (Literally.) She took out her phone, still on silent, and waited patiently for him to call her.

"Where are you?" He asked, as soon as she picked up.

"Oh, here and there." She replied coyly, smiling at his back.

"I hope that doesn't mean the salon. I don't think they like me very much, due to my lack of hair."

"Not exactly."

"Is it the ego, then?"

Valkyrie laughed. "Yeah, that probably helps. But I meant my current location."

"Where, then?"

"Turn." She accompanied it with a twirl of her finger that he couldn't see.

He sighed, and then shifted slightly.

"Now what?"

"Walk backwards." Valkyrie answered, biting back a smile while she watched his tall figure slump.

"There are people around me, Valkyrie."

She said nothing. Skulduggery sighed again, and started walking backwards. She didn't say a word, letting him feel the air behind him on his own.

"Now turn around again," Valkyrie grinned.

"I know you're behind me," he started as he turned, slowly and deliberately, and then fell silent as he faced her. She liked reading his expression with her own strange kind of magic, but the pure surprise and awe clearly on his face was nice, too. He blinked his emerald green eyes at her, taking her in.

She waited patiently, arms at the sides of her long skirt, and masked any dread with a teasing smile.

"You…"

"Yes?"

"Are absolutely stunning. If I had breath to take…"

She felt her face flush and her smile light up. "It's…not too short?"

"You look more beautiful than ever. It suits you well." He cupped her chin with his gloved hand, taking in the angles of her cheekbones with a quiet admiration. "And I am still amazed that you are mine."

"You are a big kiss up, you know that?" She put her hand on his left cheek.

"I am well aware," He responded; hand over where his heart would be.

"I guess I have to thank Mr. Fireball for this makeover, then, if I look so damn good. Who is he, anyway?"

"The elders are completely lost. Their records only go fifty years back, so what I proposed…"

"Was that we'd look at our personal files. Fair enough, as it was our problem." She sighed deeply, arching her neck to bring their faces closer. "Can't we just sit around and talk while you tell me how pretty I am?" She teased.

"Afraid not."

"So we really do have to be detectives today?

"Unfortunately," he said, and pressed his forehead against hers. He gave her a cocky smile, eyebrows quirked. "Luckily for me, I have a lovely new assistant to help me during research."

"She better watch out," Valkyrie said, and guided him by his tie to the car.