Warning: This right here is a Unicorn of death Fanfiction. For those of you who haven't read my other brilliantly amazing Fanfictions, that basically means that this thing will be filled with swearing, YAOI (dun dun duuun) and the occasional tasteless joke. Consider yourself warned.

Disclaimer: It's called Fanfiction because I am a FAN, not the owner of the damned characters.

Why the fuck Roxas?

I swear, if Demyx and Xigbar don't shut the fuck up with the singing soon, I –

"What was that one from High School Musical 2, Xiggy? The one with all the sexual tension?" Demyx asked. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY CAN YOU NOT. "I think they were playing baseball or something?"

"If you sing another song I'm leaving," I announced for the third time, but Xigbar glared at me and I stayed glued to his sofa, shrinking a little further into Roxas's hoodie. I'd woken up sticky, bruised and exhausted just before six that morning to find messages from Demyx begging me to come over so he could give me some kind of news (which was nowhere near as important as my naked Roxas, but you try telling him that), and I'd slipped away before my boyfriend woke up. It was now seven thirty-two and I really wanted to get back to his place before he woke up, but Demyx still hadn't told me whatever news had pulled me out of Roxas's warm, safe bed that morning. Because he was too busy singing FUCKING High School Musical songs. Nobody ever told me that being hideously obnoxious towards your best friend after your Disney marathon with your English teacher was a stage of grief. I mean, I was glad to see him perkier, and I was glad he had Xigbar to look after him, but I could have done without the slightly flat singing.

"Dem, uh, what was the news you had to tell me?" He looked at me almost blankly for a minute, then his face broke into the widest smile I had seen him wear in years. It was kind of terrifying, even when you forgot that he had lost his little sister less than twenty-four hours ago.

He and Xigbar exchanged looks – Xigbar looked like he was fighting a smile as well – and then Demyx turned back to face me, biting his lip and squeaking a little in excitement. "We're getting married," he said hurriedly, clapping his hands together.

What.

WHAT.

"What?" Xigbar grinned, slinging an arm around my best friend's neck and pulling him closer. "Gotta keep him out of everyone else's pants somehow, right?"

"I... wow, uh... congratulations, I guess..." What the fuck, whose fucking idea was this, why the fuck did they think it wasn't fucking stupid... "Um, how long have you –"

"He asked me last night," Demyx smiled, arms around Xigbar's midriff again. They always cuddled like that, and usually it struck me as sort of cute, if a little antisocial, but right now I was kind of furious. How the fuck was Xigbar planning to marry Demyx? Was he actually serious? What if he wasn't? If he hurt Dem I was going to do violent things to him that I usually only reserved for Hayner and, well, people who touched Roxas in general. "You look pissed, Axel. Jealous that Roxas hasn't proposed yet?"

That was the last fucking straw. His sister just died and we were all apparently pretending it hadn't even happened in favour of him getting lovey-fucking-dovey with a teacher, when all I wanted to do was curl up with Roxas and love him as much as Henna wanted me to. I was very used to watching him run away from his problems, but watching Xigbar openly enable him to do that was new to me, and really, really not cool. So I stood up. I picked up my wallet and the plastic cup I had been drinking orange juice from. I turned on my heel and left Xigbar's shitty apartment, jogged back to Roxas's house and climbed in through the kitchen window I had exited through an hour and a half ago. I was so fucking done with Demyx and his complete inability to face any of his problems. I was even more done with the shitty way everyone who was meant to be taking care of him had been handling the situation, especially his apparent new fiancé. As I wriggled through Roxas's kitchen window and snuck up his stairs I found my rage melting into pity. It usually did where Demyx was concerned. That was the main reason I stayed friends with the kid, in spite of all the bullshit between us.

"Axel?" Roxas was sitting up, blinking confusedly, chest still pale and bare and smooth like it had been under my mouth last night, while he made all that noise for me... "Where you been?"

I stepped into his room, kicked the door shut behind me and threw my wallet onto his bedside table. "Demyx wanted to see me. Getting really fucking sick of his shit." I sighed heavily as I dropped my pants again, the heat pouring through the windows already and making the idea of sleeping with clothes on laughable. I was reminded that it would be Christmas in a matter of weeks and still had no clue what Roxas wanted besides his sister to get better. "You wanna sleep a bit longer?"

He nodded, mouth stretching into a huge "O" shape as he yawned. HE'S STILL SO CUTE AH FUCK I NEED TO CUDDLE HIM NOW. "Just thought you might have left or something, and I..." He frowned a little, looking down at the pillows as though they might cuddle him instead of me, me being too busy fighting with my shirt to glomp him like I wanted to. "Sorry. Never mind."

I shook my head, sliding under to covers next to him and wrapping an arm around him, pulling him closer. "C'mere, angel," I murmured, as he leaned into me, and I got to press my face into his hair and inhale whatever shampoo gods use again. "I'm so sorry I left like that, I didn't think you would wake up. I'm fucking stupid, I'm sorry."

He growled, pulling my arm tighter around him. Growling was hot. We could try growling tonight. Or scratching. Or role play. Or anything... "Shut up. It's fine. Demyx needed you, and you wanted to help him. You didn't realise I'd wake up, did you?" I shook my head, decidedly not enjoying being told off by Roxas. "So don't freak out, okay, babe?"

"Sorry."

He growled again, turning to face me. "You... you..." Another growl, and he kissed me fiercely, then pulled back, face a little softer. I needed to stop getting hard because of angry Roxas. Angry Roxas was not good. Angry Roxas was in fact kinda bad. "Let's go back to sleep, Axel. I love you."

"I love you too," I said quietly, stroking his back slowly and steadily as he closed his eyes and smiled. I blamed Demyx. I was going to be arbitrarily blaming Demyx for most of everything that went wrong today, and there was jack shit he could do about it.

I wasn't even really mad, I realised as my consciousness started ebbing away again. More, I don't know, worried. I was always worried about that kid. And I was worried that Xigbar would lose his job over the whole pile of shit – which made very little difference to me except that it would probably upset Demyx – and I was just a little bit worried that their wedding would be better than mine and Roxas's. As I closed my eyes too, holding my boyfriend to my chest and letting my heartbeat drum up a storm against his skin, I kept thinking about living together, getting old together, and how badly I wanted things to look up, at least a little. I didn't notice Roxas's phone going off until he got up to answer it, and realised that he hadn't been asleep at all. Still, sleep was beckoning to me now, so I closed my eyes again and let it eat me up.

More fucking timing

After we woke up a second time, got dressed and inhaled breakfast, Axel went home. I waited until I had seen him turn off at the end of the street and left the house myself, having promised to meet someone somewhere a day early like a complete fucking tool.

"Hello, blondie," Seifer sneered, reaching towards my hair and wrapping one lock of it around a thick, too-clean finger. "What are you planning on doing to repay that favour you owe, hm?"

I took a deep breath. It's for Nami. I got onto one knee, then onto both. The sound of zippers made my stomach turn but I closed my eyes and opened my mouth obediently. Axel said I was good at sucking dick, so this wasn't going to be too hard. Well, not so much said as panted desperately in between moaning and grabbing at my hair. I really wished that I could imagine that this was Axel in my mouth, but it was too rough, over too quickly, and there was a lot less talking. I swallowed and stood up, holding my hand out for the munny. He'd promised me my munny.

I don't remember anything after that.

I woke up on a sofa, and immediately sat up, wincing at the sharp pain in the side of my head but too terrified to lie back. I knew this place... Axel. I was at Axel's house again. Why was I...

"Roxas! You're awake!" My poor boyfriend was white as a sheet, and he dropped to his knees next to me. No, no more people on knees... "I was fucking scared, I thought you –"

"What happened?" I asked, trying not to notice the throbbing ache in my head while Axel rearranged my cushions, still pale and looking more shaken than I felt.

He pulled back, piercing green eyes a whole catalogue of emotions that I could barely separate from one another. "Well, from what I understand, you were sucking dick in an alleyway for cash, and Seifer knocked you unconscious and was taking your clothes off when Tianne showed up with a knife, presumably en route to your place, and stabbed Seifer in the back." His voice was level and I got the feeling that he was trying really hard not to get upset. "He'll be fine. Unfortunately. But that was right about when Rai figured out numbers at least enough to be able to call an ambulance, and Tianne's been arrested, and then he called me to pick you up since I was apparently the first person on your contacts list on your phone. So I brought you back to my place and put ice on your head to try and keep it from swelling too bad and then you came to and, well, here we are." He looked down at his hands. "How're you feeling?"

"Not surprised." I sighed, leaning back onto the pillows. "Knew that this was all bound to go to shit sometime. It was a shitty plan. Little taken aback about Tianne, but it's not like this is the first time she's been arrested."

Axel looked up at me, tears in his eyes, and my stomach turned over again. It was probably trying to tie itself into a fancy knot of some kind. "I meant how was your head," he whispered, looking more and more upset with every passing second.

"It hurts. Axel, I'm so sorry, I didn't want you to know –"

"Of course you didn't want me to know! Who starts off a relationship by telling someone that they suck dick in dirty alleyways to... to... fuck, Roxas, it would be one thing if you actually wanted to, but it's for your sister, isn't it? Isn't it?" I nodded slowly, having no idea what I could say to him to make him less distressed and so just letting him talk. "Roxas, just... why didn't you... shit, I mean, of all things – and why was Rai on your side, I mean – fucking hell, I should be mad at you, shouldn't I? Most people would be mad if their boyfriend was giving blowjobs out to anyone who asked, but no, I can't be mad at you because you got hurt and you want to help your sister and you're just too beautiful and I want to get old with you and when Rai called me, I thought, I thought... and you weren't waking up, and I was scared..." He started sobbing and I reached towards him but, to my surprise, he jerked his whole body backwards, away from me. "How long, Roxas? How long have you been... for him..."

"As long as I've been doing dishes and shit for you," I admitted, eyes on my own feet, arm that reached for Axel dropping to my side. "I'm so sorry, Axel. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have started in the first place, but it was good munny, and I was so terrified that Nami would never get better without me, and I didn't know what to do so I just said yes to him, I just kept saying yes, and..." I took a deep breath, Axel still shaking with quiet, squashed sobs. "Rai and I had a thing a long time ago and then we just stopped talking when Tianne showed up and he started hanging out with Seifer and..." Another deep breath. "I'm so sorry, I don't even know what to say, I've been a fucking awful boyfriend, a fucking awful person, and all I know how to do any more is just make it through until tomorrow so I don't know how to treat good things like you and –" My deep breaths were steadily getting less and less deep, the more panicked I got. I pulled my knees into my chest, barely feeling Axel's hand on my arm, and kept trying to talk: "It was my fault, it was all my fault that all that shit happened and... fuck... if Nami dies... my fault..."

"Shush, baby, shush..." He ended up scooping me into his arms again and getting onto the sofa underneath me, holding me tightly to his chest and kissing my ear. "Deep breaths for me, come on."

I was trying to breathe, I was trying...

"I-I'm sorry," I choked, clinging to his shirt and shaking harder and harder. "Axel..."

He rocked me slowly back and forth, one soft thumb brushing tears off my cheeks. "It's okay, angel," he whispered into my neck, "it's okay." I shook my head, but he shushed me again, squeezing around my waist a little. "It is, I promise. I'm not mad."

"You sounded mad," I said hoarsely, nuzzling into his neck, heart still practically vibrating. "Please don't be mad."

"I'm not." He kissed me softly and I almost smiled. "Tianne's in jail. Seifer's in hospital. Neither of

them will be bothering either of us for a while. Things can only get better."

"But I –"

"You wanted to help Naminé," he interjected as he started rubbing my back, "and that's not a bad thing. Now, let's watch some cartoons and rest that gorgeous head of yours, okay?"

I nodded obediently, wondering how Axel could forgive me so easily for something so thoughtless and stupid and downright gross until, halfway through an episode of Dora the Explorer, it occurred to me that I would forgive him that easily for the same.

Is that a good sign?

xxx

Ahhh, fuck. Today is the last day of my birthweek and I've had a great time. I got my nose pierced and made a Kingdom Key cake and decorated some cupcakes (pictures of all of the aforementioned are on my Twitter, if you'll tolerate my whoreishness just long enough to remember that my username thing is Gr8ninjamorgan) and had friends over and had all sorts of crazy teenaged high-jinks (such as eating chicken and playing a bit of KH1) so everything was the wonderfuls but it meant I didn't get a chance to update until right now.

Anyway, here is what I think is the penultimate chapter of A million munny. We'll see. You'll all be pleased and/or terrified to know that I have twelve pages written up of another fic, assisted by a friend of mine who will be receiving credit and thanks for ideas and lines when that fic gets rolling, and I have some vague ideas about extending Bathrooms as well as other oneshots to accompany this fic.

On the topic of oneshots accompanying this fic, I had one taken down for being too explicit. Whilst I found this kind of flattering and amusing, it means that I'm going to watch where I step for now, so this fic will be bumped up to an M rating just to be on the safe side. In conclusion, I apologise for this ridiculously long author's note, and I'll see you guys next time for the (probable) finale of this fic. Big loves! :3