Content Advice: Human names used, swearwords

Notes: I misused a tf_speedwriting prompt portraying the warning sign Feliciano describes for these 250 words of insanity. Happy Birthday Italies!

Counting Sheep

"There is a sheep in my car."

"Ve~" Feliciano giggled nervously. He clutched the steering wheel like it was a lifeline. "Fratello is scary when his voice goes all quiet and calm."

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Lovino's hands ball into fists on his lap. "I'm not calm, idiot! I'm fucking furious!"

Feliciano hummed contemplatively. "You would be happier if you were calm. They said on TV that getting angry isn't good for your blood pressure!"

Lovino growled. It was the growl you would expect from a starved bloodhound, not from an impressively red-in-the-face nation. "There is a fucking sheep shitting on my leather backseat and you're worried about my fucking blood pressure!"

"It's just a baby and you hurt it!" Feliciano averted his eyes from the road to turn reproachful puppy eyes on his brother. "I told you to drive carefully."

"How the hell was I supposed to know there would be sheep on the road!" Lovino's grip on the door handle tightened enough for the plastic to creak ominously. "No one said anything about fucking sheep!"

"Except for the 'unfenced road, beware of sheep' sign on the gate," Feliciano pointed out mildly.

"That's not… You useless stupid bastard!"

Feliciano giggled to himself as Lovino spluttered indignantly in the passenger's seat.

The injured lamb on the backseat bleated in agreement and went back to chewing on the safety belt.

Lovino snorted bitterly. "I fucking hate sheep… and I hate you!"

"I love you, too, Lovi!"

The end