Yo everyone Agurra of the Darkness here with something new. After looking some things over I realized I'd spent a lot of time on Crossovers and thought I give regular Naruto stories a try for once since I haven't done them in a while. Granted these will be short ones as I still plan to continue Ninth Fist and Oracion Eight however, I also want to add more stories to my profile and thought I'd make some follow up stories to my first real comedy When Sasori Get's Bored. So expect a few stories like this to be seen in the future. I also have an Idea for a Naruto x Deadman Wonderland since there aren't a lot of those but I'll might get into that later. Anyway hope you enjoy this and look forward to more stories in the future. (P.S. If your new to my stories check out some of the stories mentioned above, they are my better work, just saying). Well with all that out of the way LETS LIGHT THIS CANDLE
Disclaimer: Agurra of the Darkness does not own Naruto in anyway shape or form. Not really sure what I could contribute right now though it would be cool if they did a real crossover with another anime series. I mean that would be awesome. Who knows maybe we'll get lucky
*Why Tobi Shouldn't Watch TV Start*
It had been three months since the Akatsuki had fallen prey to the ball busting antics courtesy of their extremely bored comrade Sasori. After the incident all the members agreed they'd never allow Sasori to be in the base long enough to get bored again. Thus they sent him on countless missions to keep him as far away from them and the TV as humanly possible. Sadly on one of those Missions he met his end at the combined hands of his Grandmother Chiyo and the leaf ninja Sakura. As a result he was replaced by the very odd and very annoying masked Ninja known simply as Tobi. Though he behaved mostly like a five year old who'd just snorted eight pounds of crack the Akatsuki members were glad atleast they didn't have to worry about him taking anything he saw on TV literally… Or so they thought!
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Tobi is soooooooooo borrrrrrrrrrrrred!"
Those words echoed in stereo throughout the dark and dank hideout of the Akatsuki layer as the masked ninja howled in sheer boredom at his lack of stimulus. As it stood while the others could somewhat tolerate his behavior, they had their limits. Thus all of them decided to go on missions and leave the idiot of the group to house sit for them. At first he wasn't thrilled at the idea but shut up after Deidara threatened to blow him up.
Now the new Akatsuki member was wandering the halls looking for something to do. He continued to move throughout the halls until his eye through the hole in his mask caught sight of something that immediately grabbed his attention and wouldn't let go. With an almost inhuman amount of enthusiasm he shouted.
"!"
Yes the infamous TV that had lead to the infamous "Nut Shot Incident" was still in place and still working fine. Though it had caused them pain they hated Sasori and not the TV itself, plus hell they needed something to pass the time so they kept it. Now Tobi was giddy as a schoolgirl and quickly lept onto the couch and pulled out the remote. With quick glee he pointed it to the box before pressing the ON button bring it to life.
Tobi was quickly mesmerized by the images before him as he found himself particularly interested in what channel or program he'd happened to find.
"Robot Chicken, Sound like fun!"
Like Sasori before him Tobi soon found himself laughing like a madman at the various claymation images that soon bombarded his senses.
Tobi continued to watch with childlike wonderment when the image on the TV slowly came to a sunny little town where the sun was shining and a cute little tune was being played in the background.
Quickly lyrics began to be played all the while Tobi was rocking back in forth with glee as he listened to the song.
(Wesael Stomping Day song, Robot chicken version.)
(Sounds of weasels getting stomped on, with bone-crunching and rodent-screeching effects)
As the song played Tobi was greeted to the images of various clay characters in Viking hats and over sized sneakers stomping on various weasels all throughout the town, in many humorous ways. Some of the images were pretty violent looking though oddly enough Tobi found himself more mesmerized by the images of the rodent stomping holiday.
Eventually the program ended and Tobi quickly turned the TV off. The masked Akatsuki member slowly brought his hand to his chin in a questioning manner, "Wow that looks like such a fun holiday, how come we never celebrate it? We celebrate every other holiday, including that weird one Hidan celebrates that involves the goat and that funny looking cup?" Tobi quickly stood up as he came to a decision, a massive smile behind his mask.
"I should celebrate this holiday too, its only fair and Tobi loves being fair because Tobi is a good boy." With that thought in mind he quickly ran out of the hideout to buy supplies for his own variation of the weasel stomping mayhem.
(Two hours and one weird shopping trip later)
"Okay time for Tobi to do a check list. Let's see Viking Helmet."
Tobi quickly checked to make sure the horned helmet he bought at a local costume store was firmly placed on his head.
"Check, next overly large stomping sneakers?"
Looking down at his feet Tobi was currently wearing size twenty two white and blue sneakers which he'd managed to get from a sneaker store, after having a rather long and odd discussion with the owner of the store.
"Check, next Mayonnaise on the lawn?"
That was Tobi's favorite part as he'd gone out and bought about ten gallons of Mayo and just dumped it on the law outside the base till the entire green glass was a white a snow, only it smelled weird.
Thus it seemed Tobi's checklist was filled except for one thing, "Where does Tobi get the weaseals?" Naturally Tobi was too much of an idiot to get the actual metaphor for the song which was, well to be quite honest even I don't know what it is so he just didn't have any weasels on hand.
Tobi quickly found himself about to cry as he couldn't go through with the fun holiday he'd seen on TV as it wouldn't be weasel stomping day without weasels. So with a huff of sadness he sat himself back on the couch and oddly enough on the remote.
The TV sprung to life again and Tobi's eyes quickly took notice of the thing he was searching for. "WEASEL!"
Not exactly but close enough as far as Tobi was concerned. On the TV was a white roden with a long tail and a tuff of brown fur on the tip. Odd thing was said indivdual was currently standing on two legs, talking and smoking to boot. The thing Tobi was actually looking at was an ermine and not just any ermine but Chamo from Negima.
Of course Tobi with his attention span like that of a sugar high Ten year old paid no mind to this an quickly jumped to his feet. "Hooray now Tobi can start Weasel stomping day."
Thus with no regard for the notion that he was staring at a TV Tobi quickly ran towards the TV at full speed before leaping towards it fully intent on stomping the hell out of the ermine.
Now normally under these circumstances the obvious thing to happen would be for him to crash into the TV and hurt himself. However, that would be boring and lame so I the all-powerful Narrator just for the hell of it will now royally screw with the laws of space and time and allow said indivdual safe passage through the TV.
"Thank you Mister Narrator."
"Your Welcome Tobi, NOW STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!"
"Yes Sir"
After his little discussion with the Narrator Tobi hooped literally into the TV screan which seemed to adopt a more viscous nature, becoming almost like the water in a pool which Tobi easily sank into.
(Scene Change Negima World, Negi's room)
"Man, Hooking Negi up with a partner is getting to be a real challenge and could take quite a while." The perverted ermine gained a sinister gleam in his eye, "Guest I just have to measure them all out, hehehe."
"WEASEL!"
The erime's eyes shot up as a shadow over took him before finding a odd man in a black cloak with red clouds covering it, wearing an orange spiral mask with a single hole in the center. On his head was oddly enough a Viking helmet while on his feet were a pair of oversized sneakers. Yet the most odd thing of all was that he could actually feel the individual's eyes staring at him through the mask with obvious anticipation.
Naturally the Ermine decided to address the elephant in the room, "uh okay buddy just who are….SPALT!"
Those were all the words he could get out as Tobi quickly lifted his left foot before stomping down the massive sneak right in the middle of the unfortunate ermine's body who didn't scream in pain so much, more somewhat comedic agony.
Yet Tobi didn't pay attention to his victims pain as he was too busy humming the Weasel Stomping Day song as he landed another five or six stomps on the unfortunate ermine before finally removing his foot.
A look at his handy work revealed Chamo with several massive shoe prints on his back and most of his body save his head and tall were flat as a pancake. Said erimine's eyes had long since rolled to the back of his head in pain as he was now unconscious.
Tobi however, found himself jumping for joy at what he'd just done, "WEEE! Tobi had so much fun, thank you for that mister Weasel!" The ermine could only gasp lightly in response.
Seeing little point in staying the masked ninja quickly hoped into the TV present in the room and quickly reappeared in the Akatsuki layer.
The Viking hat wearing ninja was jumping up and down in extatic glee, completely ignore the TV screen which now revealed Negi Springfield the owner of the Ermine currently panicking at the sight of his crushed friend.
Of Course Tobi wasn't paying much attention as he was again channel surfing for more weasels to stomp.
After a few minutes he decided to go to one of his favorite channels Boomerang for possible ideas and well he just so happened to arrive at what can only be described as the perfect show for his little event.
"I AM WEASEL!"
Indeed on the screen speaking in very clear and intelligent voice was a bright red and tan fur colored weasel who didn't hesitate to state for the record he was in fact a real weasel.
Images of the Weasel behaving like the ultimate good Samaritan flashed by the screen all the while a very stupid looking Baboon was also shown making a complete ass of himself but Tobi after hearing the word Weasel didn't hesitate and jumped in head first.
Weasel currently standing on the sidewalk after helping an old lady across the street was enjoying the day when he found a shadow hanging over him. He quickly turned to find the oddly dressed Tobi and at first didn't know how to react. Though after a few seconds he cleared his throat and spoke,
"Good day to you sir, that's certainly some interesting attire you have there."
Tobi shook his head really fast in response, "Yes Tobi looks good because Tobi is a good boy."
Weasel felt somewhat uneasy by the mans behavior, being reminded a lot of a certain baboon but put the thought in the back of his mind, "Well yes Mr. um Tobi was it you seem like a very good person. So with that in mind what can I help you with."
Tobi rather than respond raised his right foot before placing the bottom of his over size shoe over the unsuspecting weasel.
"Um sir, might I ask why you're putting your foot over me, do you intend to step on me?"
Tobi quickly nodded in response, "Yep cause today is WEASEL STOMPING DAY!" Weasel's eyes quickly grew wide as his mouth opened but no sound came out. That was all he managed to do before the massive shoe came down on him. All those present watched the spectacle with mixed reactions as the strange man continued to stomp on Weasel for several minutes.
One person in particular however, was currently seated on a chair with popcorn in hand. Said individual was a blue furred baboon with a bright red butt and only a white t-shit with the words "I-R" crudely drawn on.
He was of course IR baboon, Weasel's nemesis/rival/friend/whatever the hell you call them. The unintelligent primate had been the butt both literally and metaphorically of the nearly every joke in the program. Thus he was currently getting a lot of laughs watching his intelligent cohort get that stuffing stomped out of him.
"Heh, Stupid Weasel getting stomped by funny masked man, IR enjoying not getting hurt for change."
Tobi continued his little stomping spree completely obvious to the fact he was not only violating the laws of physics by being in the series but also brutally assaulting an innocent weasel.
After about another minute Tobi removed his foot. He looked down at the weasel to thank him only to gag at the sight of the crushed weasel. Unlike Negima which was for the most part pretty tame with its humorous violence, I Am Weasel was a lot less subtle about things such as this. Thus Weasel pretty much look like he'd been run over by a truck and then had said truck backed over him, repeatedly.
So without saying much Tobi quickly jumped back into the portal that brought him to into the world of the TV series.
Once again he was back in the dreary Akatsuki layer. Tobi lightly wiped off some of the sweat on his brow brought on by the stompinp, "Phew Tobi certainly had a lot of fun with that weasel." His eye slowly drifted to the clock revealing that during his little escapade he'd used up a lot of time to where it was almost midnight.
"Aw, its almost midnight, that's when day ends. Tobi remembers it because Tobi is a good boy and also because Hidan told Tobi to stop singing the twelve days of Christmas because "Christmas ended at mid night, ITS FUCKING JULY YOU RETARD."
So with a sign at his fun day coming to a close Tobi prepared to take his helment and shoes off when a familiar monotone voice rang out.
"Tobi, what exactly are you doing and what are you wearing?"
Tobi's eye quickly widened as he looked to see none other than Itachi Uchiha. Now normally Tobi had nothing but respect for said indivdual if only because he was a senior member. However, at this moment he had only one thought running through his head.
"Itachi, doesn't your name mean weasel?"
The clan murdering member raised an eye brow at the question for a moment before responding, "Um yes Tobi it…WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
Itachi couldn't even react as he suddenly found himself being chased by Tobi who was now making attempts to stomp on him with his massive shoes.
As he ran he shouted with glee, "HOORAY FOR WEASEL STOMPING DAY!"
(Time skip, hour later)
"CAN SOMEONE FUCKING TELL ME WHY THERE'S ABOUT EIGHTY GALLONS OF MAYO ON THE FUCKING LAWN. IT SMELLS LIKE FREAKING PISS?"
"Calm down already Hidan, you're making a scene."
"FUCK YOU KAKUZU I'LL SAY WHATEVER I FUCKING PLEASE SO BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS!"
Deidara found himself sighing as he listened to the two Zombie brothers act like idiots as they walked through the hideout. "Man, I'm getting tired of listening to these two idiots argue. Maybe I should prepare a little art piece for them, show them why My Art is a…."
The bomb happy ninja found himself gasping as he stared out into space. Hidan and Kakuzu took note of the blondes lack of response and turned to see what had his attention only for them to gasp in surprise as well.
Before them was Itachi Uchiha, the feared mass murderer of the Uchiha clan and legendary genius ninja currently lying on his stomach with massive shoe prints all over his body. Sitting nearby was Tobi currently watching some cartoon on the tv with massive shoes on his feet and a Viking helmet on his head.
He seemed distracted for the moment so Deidara manage to mutter out the question they all had, "Uh Tobi, what the hell happened here?"
The masked Akatsuki member didn't answer at first before turning his head slowly and even though he was wearing a mask, they could almost feel the massive grin on his face as he spoke with the glee of a child.
"Tobi celebrated Weasel Stomping Day!"
(When Tobi Watches TV End)
Okay folks well that's part two of my Akatsuki Robot Chicken series. I had this idea a while back thinking about how I could tie in another skit with the Akatsuki and Robot chicken. Then I saw the Weasel Stomping Day Song and remember Itachi's name means Weasel in Japanese and well the rest was simple. I know it isn't perfect but this is more for humor than anything else so yeah just here for a few yucks. Will try to provide more stories like this in the future so look forward to them. Though if you are looking for more serious stories, check out my crossovers The Ninth Fist and Oracion Eight when you get the chance.
Well that's all for now, hope you enjoy this. Till next time Agurra out.