A/N: Apologies for such a long gap between posts, lets give this another whirl!

Chapter Six

"She was a beauty nightmare

She flies beyond this darkness

The scapegoat of death faking to be alive."

She tapped her foot anxiously as she stood with her arms crossed tightly over a book keeping it close to her heart, tucked tightly into her chest. No one could pry the thing from her arms even if they tried. It should be a source of strength, of comfort. But instead, her partner, who stood a bit behind her sighing loudly every now and then showing his obvious distaste, mocked her for it.

It was a long wait; she had known that when she arrived, this was a popular place to be today judging by the crowd. She wouldn't have minded standing alone, in fact the longer she stood, the more she realized she had had no good reason to invite him along in the first place.

It seemed to have occurred to him too and he proceeded to tease her about being here every few minutes, getting glares from all the other people around them as he did so. He didn't bother to keep his voice down as made degrading and painful comments, laughing at himself as he did.

He just didn't get it; her reason for being here went beyond the fangirling need of those around her. He didn't understand, but worse than that, he didn't even try to.

"Did you see that woman over there?" He said, poking her shoulder and throwing his thumb back towards a woman older than herself, who looked near to tears as they moved up in line. He snickered as he shook his head and mumbled something about being pathetic.

"Shh." She hissed out at him, not even bothering to look back, her eyes on the real reason she was here. She was too focused, watching as a man sat behind a table stacked with dozens of his books, signing each one for a fan whilst giving them his dazzling smile.

"Oh come on, Kate." He whined at her, a chuckle deep in his throat as he pushed on her a little.

Kate spun around, "Will, go home if you don't want to be here!" She yelled at him, trying to keep her voice down but he's been irritating the crap out of her for the last three hours.

He doesn't think he even needs to try. This is the problem. He's not bothering anymore. And she'd rather not invest her time in someone who's just not in it...

"Fine." He said, jaw clenching as he stared down the reason for her attentions today, and then back down at her. "You know, I wanted to spend time with you today, but obviously I'm not as important as this!" He poked hard at the book she holds too tightly before he stalked off, leaving her standing there in the middle of the line of her favourite bookstore.

As Will walked away Kate could feel the burning gaze of those in the queue with her, the waves of pity that she tried to ignore.

The man was an ass.

She growled, moving forward with the line, as her eyes darted to the man at the desk poised with the pen in his hand. The woman in front of him was laughing pulling down the corner of her top as she leant over.

When the author moved over the table he smiled widely his eyes flitting along the line of waiting fans, catching Kate's eye briefly before he moved on. She swallowed thickly holding on tighter to her mother's book. Kate smiled, no matter what just happened with Will she made the right decision coming here today, and she wouldn't be anywhere else.

"Kate, you...can make it out to Kate." She said sliding the open book across the table towards him, keeping her eyes firmly on the table. It was harder than she expected, relinquishing her hold on her mother's book, even to the man who had created the world within it, and her fingers lingered on the cover.

She thumbed the crinkled corner, remembering her mother doing the same, but before she could fall too far into memories something warm brushed the back of her hand and she startled upright, her eyes wide.

He was good, she gave him that, pretended not to see her jump as he dragged her book closer to himself, "Did you say Kate?" He lifted his head, found her face with his eyes too blue, too gentle and she nodded unable to speak.

Kate stood mutely watching his strong fingers, the loop and flourish of words fly across the inside cover, for moment she felt a tinge of regret. Something akin to sadness as he marked an object cherished by her mother. But as quick as it flared through her chest, it faded away.

"Not yours?" He asked, tilting his head to one side as he signed his name, tapping the book knowingly. The corners curling, aged with love and regular re-reading, but the way she clung to the book betrayed its ownership.

"My...mothers." She said, not believing her own voice could sound that faded, flooded with that hopeless dip she couldn't seem to help. She cleared her throat as if that would help, as if it would pull back the pathetic edge of her voice, the sad lilt.

"She a fan?" He questioned, ignoring it, oblivious to it? She couldn't tell, she hoped it was the former. He wrote with such feeling and depth he couldn't truly be that unaware of pain when it was this close to him, this obvious in her voice.

Closing the cover and sliding the book back across the tabletop to her with a smile, she realised of course he wasn't, he was being polite. Reverent even, for something...someone he had no way of understanding.

"She...was." Kate felt her eyes flick upwards, darting on their own to see his reaction. Would he understand? Would he acknowledge it?

"I'm sorry." He met her halfway then, lifting the book and holding it out for her as she reached for it, their hands connecting on opposite sides of the book that held Kate's salvation...her escape.

And perhaps he knew that too; as he seemed to have paused, watching her as she stared at the front cover, saw the way he held the book out to her. Gripping it from spine to old worn pages, delicately, almost as if he himself was afraid to break it, tarnish the memories bound in this book that were not just his own, but hers as well.

Someone cleared their throat behind her, and Kate turned slightly, pivoting her body without moving her feet, nor her hands that still kept her linked to Richard Castle. When she looked back at him, her lip between her teeth he gave her a wink and a shrug of his shoulders before releasing the book.

"Um...Thank you." She said to him with a small nod of her head, clearing her throat and finally pulling her book towards her, not caring how it looked as she hugged it to her chest and turned away from the table.

There was a small pause before he actually spoke, and she was nearly halfway down the line, "You're very welcome, Kate." He called to her, just as she let her book fall across one arm, a falter in her step as it bared its written soul to her.

Her name, with his signature underneath. It amounted to hardly anything, nothing really, but as she ran her thumb across the barely dry ink, she realised it was enough.

She turned the key in the lock, a smile permanently on her face since she left the bookstore. But it was soon wiped clean off when she saw what stood before her in her kitchen.

Suitcases and bags.

He came out of the bedroom then, slinging a jacket over his shoulder and stopped when he saw her standing in the open doorway. His brow was creased, and it smoothed out just a little as their eyes locked. But she couldn't stand to look at him, shutting the door behind her, and moving past him to her bookshelf.

"Kate." He said dropping his coat and following her.

"You took the job." She stated, pushing the book gently into its proper place and straightening.

"Yes." He replied.

She smoothed her hand into her hair, clutching at her roots as she looked at him. "Then go."

He sighed, "Kate...you knew it was only a matter of time...you...you can still come with me."

She scoffed shaking her head at him, "We both know that won't work...it's not working now." She added, releasing her hair and throwing both arms out before letting them clap at her sides.

"And whose fault is that?" He asked, turning suddenly on the spot, his voice rising in anger.

She pointed a vicious finger at him, "Oh don't you lay this all on me!" She shouted. "You took the job so you can run."

"Really Kate? Is that what I'm doing, running away?"

She crossed her arms, standing her ground.

"Oh that's rich. Coming from you, of all people." He snorted, shaking his head and bringing a hand up to his forehead.

"ME!" Kate cringed in disgust as he brushed past her again, "I am not the one moving to another state to escape!"

"You're..." He shook his head again, "Me taking the job has nothing to do with you...and your...issues."

"Will." She warned through gritted teeth, her hands clenching wildly at her sides.

"What?" He asked, shrugging with feigned innocence. "Not say the one thing that has gotten in the way of us… and you living your life?"

"Do. Not bring her into this!" She bit out, giving him fair warning.

"It all boils down to your mother."

Her eyes flashed with severity and pain before she stole across the space between them, and shoved him, hard. "I said Don't." She barked as her hand collided with his chest.

He threw his arms up, pushing her hand away from him, "you need help." He snarled, "You swim through this closed off, cracked little existence. You don't live, you don't let me in and you won't come with me when I want..."

"You should leave." She said quietly, forcing her eyes not to linger on his already packed bags.

Why hadn't he just ... gone?

With his jaw clenched, he stared her down for just a moment before turning away and snatching up his things. "I'm not enough for you am I?" He finally asked, the reason for his slow exit from her life suddenly becoming clear.

He couldn't fade into nothing; he needed the end to hurt...the break to be final and severe.

Fine.

"No, you're not..." She replied with brutal honesty. "But the thing is...I don't want you to be." She dragged her hand through her hair roughly, "I don't want you."

He nodded his head, as if it's what he expected. And he said nothing more, fisting his bags in his hands and moving towards the door.

Kate kept her resolve as he turned back, fishing his keys from his pocket, and tossing hers onto the kitchen counter. She held firm, keeping her emotions in check until the moment he slammed the door behind him. And then, only then when she heard the ding of the elevator down the hallway, did she let herself crumple to the floor in tears.