Chapter 11: Hopelessness
"I'm not a hero," Kasumi responded with a look in her eyes that made a sudden lump appear in Miranda's throat.

For once Miranda did not complain as they landed on the planet of Gellix, instead she simply laced her arm around Kasumi's shoulder and allowed the thief to help her up from her sickbed and down the Black Wand's corridor towards the exit where they would be greeted by a team on the landing pad.

Oh of course she had complained adamantly the moment Kasumi had told her of where their destination was to be, even going as far as warning the thief that if she did not turn the ship around then (and tell her why they were going there) she would personally throw her out of it – which of course had meant that the only option Kasumi had been able to take was to simply lock the door until they had arrived.

Izzy followed after them with his yellow tail flickering to and fro, looking like he was the king of this damned ship as he sauntered past the two lumbering women (Kasumi shot the cat a glare as he turned his gaze on her just to flick his tail haughtily in her direction) with a meow escaping him.

The only time Miranda actually started was at the symbol of Cerberus that appeared as the hatch opened up for them, her body had tensed in Kasumi's arms and she had caught the operative's eyes widening as memories (it must have been memories) started to flood right into the front of Miranda's mind.

"Hey," the thief murmured tenderly the moment she felt those tense muscles of Miranda's clench angrily at the sight of the Cerberus logo on the base of their destination, her own hand tightening around Miranda's waist and arm, "it's fine, we're safe here – they aren't the Cerberus we should be running from, believe me, I checked, twice!"

The Cerberus operative glanced at her then, eyes still tight around Kasumi's shoulders and her mind racing through every possible scenario on why they were here, why Kasumi would be leading her to this place without telling her and without complaining that she would slow her down? Why?

Then it clicked.

"You're leaving me here aren't you?" Miranda muttered in aside to the thief, briefly glancing over at the Cerberus team coming towards them from the landing pad before directing her gaze back onto Kasumi, "it's why we're here isn't it? You're leaving me behind."

Kasumi surprised her by staring straight back at her with a look in her eye that made Miranda's throat clog up as a wave of emotion (emotions she quickly clamped down deep within her chest) washed over her, threatening to drown her very being with its haunting sensation that caused Miranda to cling more tightly onto the other woman next to her.

The ex-Cerberus operative cleared her throat and looked away from Kasumi's gaze, taking an unsteady step forward to follow on after the thief as they made their way down towards the landing pad with an unease in their steps that rivalled the anxiety Miranda now felt in her stomach at the understanding on why Kasumi had led her here in the first place.

"If I had any strength right now I'd kick your ass to the next millennium," Miranda muttered angrily under her breath as she shook her head, limping even faster down the landing pad to try and keep up with Kasumi's all of a sudden hasty footsteps. "You can't expect me to stay in this rat hole whilst you go look for Oriana by yourself, I won't let you do it."

Kasumi chuckled and from the bitter way it sounded it made Miranda bristle at how indignant it made her look in comparison.

"Sweetie you don't have much of a choice," was the only thing Kasumi answered her with before the thief called out to the approaching Cerberus group, a smile on her face that made Miranda withdraw her previous statement on what she thought of this absurd notion of leaving her behind, "hey! Hey Jacob, told you I'd bring her back safe didn't I? That means you owe me ten credits, pay up!"

Miranda glanced up once more at the group of Cerberus scientists and soldiers for her eyes to widen at the realisation that indeed Jacob Taylor was accompanying the group, a smile on his face that almost made her sob at seeing it once more when she had been oh so sure that seeing such a wonderful sight of her friend's face would never again happen in this life time.

She had said goodbye to him before she had departed on the run from the Illusive Man, had spent the night lying next to him on an old abandoned deck chair with their guns still in their hands as the gazed up at the stars that twinkled down above them with a knowledge that neither of them were capable of understanding; it had been a night of peace and tranquillity that at the same time had made them even more frightened than before at the prospect of the Reaper threat.

Jacob had turned to her just before he had fallen asleep, eyes droopy from exhaustion that it had made her smile briefly before she could focus on what he was saying.

"You scared?" He had muttered to her, his hand gingerly reaching down to pat at her arm with a sense of discomfort that Miranda had slowly grown used to when it came to Jacob; she would even go as far as saying that she liked it, but regardless what she thought, he would always be this way with her even if she did decide to protest.

But looking at him now? Miranda could hardly remember what she had said to him at that moment, but whatever she had said it didn't matter anymore because now when she looked at him she felt almost an overwhelming sense of hope at seeing someone like Jacob Taylor (the boy, the man) in front of her, alive, happy, grinning…It was all so surreal.

"Well I'll be shit-faced," Jacob Taylor announced the moment he was close enough to grab her other side and breathe warm air onto Miranda's cheek, a sensation that immediately made Miranda relax back into the heat of him without hesitation. "When Kasumi said she was bringing you in I thought she meant in a body bag, glad to know that I was wrong."

Miranda quirked a dark brow at the man beside her, only just about stifling a smile from appearing on her face, "I suppose I should thank you for the vote of confidence then? Truly Jacob, I thought you would know it would take more than a few Cerberus assassins to stop me."

He laughed and with that she allowed him and Kasumi to help her wobble back up towards the base a few feet up the way from the landing pad, only stopping when she truly felt as if she would break her other leg if she didn't and when she felt that something was out of place in the environment she was in. And something was out of place, that much was obvious, but she just did not know what it was.

Kasumi's hand on her waist felt nice and comforting, almost as if it belonged there, as if it was the only thing that was keeping her steady and for that reason alone Miranda did not make any complaints when the thief tightened her grip on her waist; instead allowing herself to learn further into Kasumi's side with a slow trust that was starting to warp her very thoughts when it came to the thief next to her.

But even that did not reassure her and from the look on Kasumi's face the thief knew that also, and how could she not? Miranda had not taken the news well, how was she supposed to work in a base of the people who were planning her demise even as she breathed right at this moment? This was insanity.

Their effort was progressive but slow and many times did Miranda think of just letting them both go and force herself to walk on her damaged leg despite the fact she knew it would do nothing but make her look even more ridiculous than she had looked before, but god help her, she just… She needed to get back on the field as fast as humanly possible, before she went insane and started talking to herself.

Miranda was brought back to the present by the sound of Jacob speaking over her head to Kasumi, his voice hushed in a way that instantly made Miranda suspicious.

"Hey, we got that thing you wanted us to scavenge up," Jacob started to say but cut himself off all of a sudden, most likely being silenced by the look Miranda could not see (yet knew) Kasumi was giving him so that he would shut his damn trap, "yeah, well, it's in the back with Brynn and the other scientists you've met before, so if you would be kind enough to pick it up before you leave…"

Miranda's ears pricked up slightly at the mention of Brynn and she chose to ignore the subject of whatever Kasumi wanted (and didn't want her to hear) by pushing it to the back of her mind, instead allowing herself to analyse the woman whom had been with Jacob the day Miranda had left for the Citadel to see if there were any signs, signals or what have you that would identify to her that Brynn was trustworthy or not – an analysis she had been doing on many people as of late, even Kasumi Goto who smiled pretty like there was nothing wrong with the world and yet could not tell her a damn thing.

Kasumi met her gaze once more then and for a split second Miranda felt as though she was going to fall, as if every bit of strength she had worked up inside herself was now completely wasted and she had no other choice but to stare back at the thief lest she lose herself in a despair and another powerful sensation (one she did not understand) that gripped onto her with tightness that made her want to gasp out loud.

She gripped harder at the thief's waist, eyes clouding up with tears of pain the moment she let herself become clumsy and gently pressed her broken leg down onto the surface of the floor, and yet it did not seem to matter anyway because Kasumi was there and perhaps that was all that mattered – that Kasumi was there, that she had been there for longer than Miranda had expected anyone else to be, longer than even Oriana or Jacob or Ish or…

"You seriously need to be more careful sweetie," Kasumi's concerned voice broke through the rest of Miranda's thoughts, momentarily paralyzing her until she remembered why the thief had said so in the first place, "otherwise it'll be more than a few weeks before I come back, and I expect your leg to be on the road to recovery by then – or, knowing how you heal with your fancy genetics, good as new."

"No pressure then," Miranda responded back with her lips turning downwards sourly at the thief as she once more started up on her staggered gait.

"None at all."

As soon as they had neared the base did Miranda notice a shift in the temperature, of course it seemed like an obvious thing to notice but the heat wave that hit her in the face made her lips tingle and for her nostrils to flare as the familiar scent of acid burning made her scrunch her nose up in disgust; what the hell was going on around here anyway with Jacob and these scientists? When had this all happened?

Jacob must have noticed the look on her face and started to steer her to the right away from the source of the smell, instead turning her towards a narrow corridor where she could tell the other inhabitants slept and probably now where she would be sleeping thanks to Kasumi bringing her to this godforsaken planet – because even if the thief had meant well, it did not mean Miranda would enjoy staying here whilst Kasumi did…whatever she was going to do.

She realized soon enough that Jacob was explaining the outlines of the area to her, pointing at random doors and telling her what was happening in there, or whom slept there and the like; overall it was a truly dull experience and she knew Jacob would not take it offensively if she decided to blank out, which she then proceeded to do as her mind wandered back onto what had happened on Tiptree and the names herself and Kasumi had recovered.

They were in no way recognizable to her nor Kasumi, but whomever they were it was obvious that they had a connection to wherever Oriana was and if that was true then Miranda would personally make sure (if she had to haul her cripple ass out of bed anyway) Kasumi went and did what was asked of her and would also severely kick the thief's ass if she did anything Miranda didn't particularly like.

All she needed was Oriana back and somewhere where she would be safe, somewhere where Miranda would be able to rely on (even if it was only for a short while) as she went to help Shepard and the rest of the Normandy crew once she was done; once Oriana was safe she would also be rid of any other burdens – like keeping Kasumi alive for one.

'You haven't kept her alive,' Miranda thought bitterly to herself as she was hauled around a corner to go through another long corridor where she could just about see an infirmary at the very end; no doubt her home from home for the time being if she was to be staying here, 'it's been the exact opposite, without her I would have died a thousand times with my leg being the handicap that brought me down in the first place, and she bloody well knows it too but she's too chivalrous to say anything about it.'

A meow brought Miranda's gaze down towards the blonde kitten darting inbetween hers and Jacob's legs, the feline pausing momentarily to stare up at her (almost as if he was waiting for her) before departing with another little yelp that had Kasumi laughing besides her and caused Jacob to shake his head with a fondness that made Miranda feel that much safer for some reason or other.

Her instincts however told her not to feel such a way and immediately caused her to tense once more even as they stopped at a door to her right, Jacob leaning forward to unlock the section of the door before said door folded back and allowed them entrance so that they could enter the clean-cut, if somewhat pristine, (white walls, white floors, white bed sheets) room.

It was a room that was designed for death, Miranda quickly decided once she took every corner of the room in with a suspicious gaze, a room that was made to be the last thing she ever saw – and if not her then whomever people had placed in here before, for this was most certainly not a room for the living; it couldn't be with its white walls and the smell of sanitizer that made her nostrils flare, this was not a room for the living.

Even Kasumi noticed that from the look of her face, and she was not one to usually complain about where they slept considering that she had suggested sleeping in a garbage chute back when they had been on Earth and it had looked like they were going to be caught by Alliance forces for squatting up in Big Ben; not that Miranda would allow the thief to sleep in that sort of place anyhow, it was unknown whether one would catch anything from sleeping in that sort of place.

Jacob and his group finally stopped once they neared the end of the bed Miranda was to be situated on, her old friend gently grabbing her from under her thighs to place her up the bed where she could rest her head and finally see the rest of the group that had accompanied them up to these Cerberus headquarters; and perhaps with this knowledge she would also be able to put names to these people if they ever decided to betray her or Jacob at this time and sell them back to the Illusive Man.

A small blonde woman with freckles to Jacob's right was called Alice Wesley, she had been part of the team that had helped with Project Lazarus, had worked directly under Miranda performing menial tasks in the background whenever it was required of her, yet now she looked at her as though she could not put a name to her face and was instead trying her hardest not to rush away when Miranda let her cool gaze fall on her.

It was a shame Miranda could not recognize anyone else on the team but she tried not to let that bother her too much, she would find out soon enough once she got Jacob on his own because he probably knew more than anyone as well that she would react negatively to being in unknown territory with nobody else to talk to apart from him considering Kasumi felt it was a good thing to wander off and leave her by herself.

Izzy interrupted her musings by jumping on the bed to crawl up and settle in her lap, curling up into a yellow ball and purring gently in a way that made Miranda freeze for half a moment before she settled her hand on the top of the kitten's head to stroke at him tenderly, it was a move that she wasn't used to when it came to affection and she found it was even more disconcerting to display it in front of a room full of strangers, Jacob and Kasumi – especially Kasumi.

A nod from Jacob however meant that the rest of the Cerberus team soon left them, the one girl Miranda had recognized grabbing onto Kasumi's arm for half a second to lean in and whisper something into the thief's ear before she too departed after her fellows; leaving only the three of them left in the room with an uncomfortable silence hanging between them that was only broken when Jacob sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Cerberus assholes that did this to you right Miranda?" He asked with a shaky laugh that could only mean he was trying to repress the urge to lose his temper with a restraint Miranda personally envied at times, "could be the only sort of people I see that fuck up a leg like yours and leave you alive."

"It wasn't their intention to leave me alive," Miranda assured him with one of her brows arching in disdain as a faint twinge in her leg started to creep up and settle at the very top of her thigh, "and I wouldn't be alive at all if Kasumi hadn't come back to get me."

Miranda met the thief's eyes then and she had no idea why the look of discomfort made her heart still for half a second but it did and all she could do was continue staring, even when her eyes started to prick in irritation and she had no other choice but to blink despite the fear that if she did so then the look that she had captured on Kasumi's face would then disappear forever.

Luckily for her it didn't, and it continued to show on the thief's face even when Kasumi swallowed deeply and whispered, "I'm not a hero," with a look in her eyes that made a sudden lump appear in Miranda's throat – not a hero? Perhaps that was true, neither of them were heroes, but the moment Kasumi had come bursting through those doors to save her…Well, Miranda had never liked heroes.

Kasumi had to be the only exception at that point.

"Damn straight you're a hero," Jacob interrupted their stare-out session with a rumble in his chest that escaped past his lips as a chuckle, "you saved the only friend I have left in this godforsaken galaxy, I'd give you a medal if I was some fancy Alliance officer but either way I'm sure you'd just sell it."

That brightened the thief up considerably until she was literally bouncing on her toes, lips wide in a grin that caused a spurt of warmth to appear in Miranda's stomach at seeing the sight of something that had once been so familiar and now so unnatural it was actually making her feel…different.

Either way Miranda was once more forced back to the present to see that the thief was now starting to back out of the door, chuckling nervously at the both of them despite not being in any immediate danger.

"Yeah well, I'm just going to go find that medical assistant you were talking about earlier on Jacob," Kasumi murmured, pressing her thumb over her shoulder even as she proceeded to depart from the room, her voice getting progressively smaller as she moved away from hearing distance, "y'know, going to see…needed any help…"

The door shut and instantly Jacob was at her side, the warmth of his body causing Miranda to shudder at the realization that not only was she freezing but she had missed him more than she could ever admit to even herself, never mind Jacob, the man who had held her body in his hands once and had promised he would never let it go.

Words of a lust-filled man, not of a friend, but those words could be forgiven with how he sat next to her right now with every intention of not leaving until every broken bone was fixed and every hurt was healed – for this was Jacob's way, whether Miranda accepted it about him or not, this way his way.

"You scared me," he whispered and his dark hand clasped over her own that was rested on Izzy's head, squeezing her hand to make her smile even when she knew that in truth she really did not want to, "makes me thankful that you were travelling with Kasumi, I don't even want to imagine what would have happened to you without her with you and I damn well know you can look after yourself Miranda, but looking at you right now? What the hell Miri?"

Miranda raised a hand to cut him off from saying anything else, "don't give me a speech that I've already heard Jacob, I already know what I look like to other people; Kasumi's been kind enough to remind me of that every day since she's accompanied me and it hasn't got any easier hearing her say it."

"Then it's a good thing you're staying here for a while, I don't want you going off with Kasumi in the state you're in," Jacob answered back with his dark coal eyes boring deeply into her azure orbs of storm and sea, a clash of colour that made Miranda sink further back into the bed she was resting on. "And you know what that means don't you? No sneaking off."

Miranda repressed a smile by touching the corners of her lips with the very tips of her fingers, "I'm hurt Jacob."

Jacob rolled his eyes in response and let out a 'uh-huh' sound before he let out a harsh breath through his nose, the sound causing her to cringe at the thought that perhaps Jacob was thinking what everyone else was thinking but was far too kind to say it; it would not surprise her one bit at the thought that Jacob did not trust her to do what he said he wanted her to do – to rest.

They all were telling her the same thing, to rest, to relax as best as she could, yet Kasumi was the only one Miranda actually found herself understanding in this particular incident considering the thief also had family out there whom she too had no idea where they was; it wouldn't surprise Miranda if the thief dropped the search for Oriana altogether to go search instead for her family – and she knew she wouldn't be able to blame her either, for she understood more than anyone what it was like.

Miranda stroked the delicate whiskers of Izzy's face, "Kasumi's been here before." It wasn't a question; the hard (suspicious) tone of her voice said that to Jacob a thousand times over and caused him to flinch as though Miranda had struck him and well, if that had not made the answer obvious enough then the pained expression on his face certainly did.

Why did it hurt her so much that Kasumi had known where Jacob was and yet she hadn't? Did she not account anymore? Did he not think she would care anymore? If so, he could not be further from the truth – Miranda hadn't stopped caring the moment she had pulled away from Jacob Taylor to board her ship and soar away to the Citadel, she had never stopped caring, stopped wondering.

"She's looked after you," Jacob could only mutter in reply, but his words cut Miranda deep enough that she could only breathe in deeply as a response and allow each word to flow through her until she felt as though she was going to fall into each memory she had of Kasumi Goto protecting her throughout their time together, "kept you fed and made sure you didn't do anything stupid, can't say I'm regretful that you ended up with Kasumi near you at this time."

"She didn't come find me out of her own free will Jacob, she found me on Shepard's orders," Miranda found herself snapping at her friend, her gaze cutting away from him to stare heatedly at the yellow bundle that was still resting in her lap.

"Still owe her your life," Jacob reminded her without missing a beat, his dark charcoal eyes narrowing when Miranda let out a frustrated groan in response to his small smile that had appeared the moment the woman in front of him had flushed slightly at his words, "you can't deny that now can you? Been travelling together a while yeah?"

Miranda fought back a growl that was threatening to escape from her throat by readjusting herself on the bed, trying not to wince when her leg connected with Jacob's side and instead showing that the only sign that she was in pain was by how her fist came down to thump the mattress – an action that made the kitten on her lap hiss angrily before departing the bed to curl up in a corner where the heat generators were.

"Stop it," Miranda hissed once she had finally finished adjusting her weight onto the bed, glowering at her former lover with an impatience that made Jacob shrink back from her slightly. "Stop acting as though it's something more than it is. I have no idea why Kasumi is with me apart from the fact she feels like she can't leave me – bullshit to that, because she's doing a fine job of that now."

"She's leaving you here to rest because she knows otherwise you'd walk through hell with that leg of yours!" Jacob retorted with a rage that made Miranda pause for a moment to observe the taut lines of his face, "c'mon Miri, you know as well as I do that you would ignore everything just to be back into battle again, and we both know how that would end up."

'I'd be dead,' Miranda thought with a shaky laugh escaping her as she shook her head, laying her dead down to rest on the pillows given to her to look up at the ceiling with the goal of trying to distract herself from the rest of the world around her, which by the way, was just not working out for her no matter how hard she tried. 'We'd both be dead considering how stubborn she is, she probably wouldn't leave until the very last second.'

It's that thought that allowed Miranda to drop off to sleep before she could stop herself from seeing Jacob's face fade in and out of darkness, watching him one second before he disappeared another and for that action to repeat until the next thing she saw was the white ceiling again, yet whilst that was the only thing she could see the next thing she felt was something being pressed into her thigh, something that felt oddly like a foot.

Her head was heavy, that much was obvious, and it made Miranda feel as though it was very much alike of the grains of sands, how it clung together in a desperate fashion and could only be moved through by a strength that took everything from out of a person; a feeling that Miranda now felt as she tilted her head to the side to look into the hood of Kasumi Goto, whom may she add, was fast asleep next to her.

It hurt to look at her and see nothing under the darkness of the hood apart from the thief's elongated nose peeking out from underneath, it was almost as if she was looking at a treasure from above the water and each time she tried to reach her destination it slipped from her fingers and all Miranda was left with was this large space between them with nothing to fill it apart from their own secrets that neither of them were willing to tell the other.

'Tell me what you're hiding from me,' Miranda had wanted to demand off the thief once when she had been fighting sleep with Kasumi hovering over her like the dedicated guardian she appeared to be – that she was, god damn, that she was – with a wet cloth that the thief dragged down her forehead and over her mouth to quench her parched throat, 'tell me and I'll try.'

She didn't know what she would try to do, but Miranda knew she would try regardless and that was all Kasumi could hope for if it ever came to the day Miranda Lawson would lose her patience and demand answers; but not now it seemed, no, she was far too tired even in this waking state and the only thing Miranda could do to try and get rid of the ache was to read towards the thief with her hand and wrap it around a thin wrist that was being pressed into Kasumi's own side.

It was a strange sensation to touch someone as intimately as this (even if in truth it was hardly intimate at all) after what had occurred since the Reaper invasion, yet Miranda found herself not minding as she slowly turned on her side to become lost and intrigued by the shallow breathing coming from the thief that lay next to her and how such a simple sound made her feel as though everything was back to the way it was before, that the world Miranda had always known focused solely around the sound of this woman breathing.

And that realization just made Miranda want the damn thief gone, to leave and never return because the sound of Kasumi breathing was not supposed to make her feel this way; was not supposed to render her speechless with awe in her eyes and her own breathing deep and husky with a desire that knocked the ex-Cerberus operative for six because never had she ever, ever felt about Kasumi this way – ever.

But of course she probably would not have been feeling this enticement for the thief if not for the fact that Shepard had left her, even if that excuse did make her sound slightly less bothered about the Reaper situation it was the only excuse Miranda could think of and therefore was the one thing that made her release Kasumi's wrist to tug her own hand under the cool side of her pillow.

Damn it all, trust that her own traitorous body would make her feel this strange attraction to the thief right when there was a damn Reaper invasion going; bloody hormones, they had been her demise once before considering her little rut with Jacob back when they had been both working on Project Lazarus and because of the consequences of that Miranda knew that she would most certainly not make that same mistake again – especially with Kasumi Goto, a woman she trusted even when every single inch of her body told her not to do so.

Miranda had forgotten the last time she had not listened to instinct, perhaps it had been such a little thing to forget that it was nothing to worry about? Or perhaps it was the opposite, something so large and horrible that Miranda she had repressed it with every fibre of her being until it felt like it was nothing more but a distant memory.

Everything felt like that now days, not real, a memory – sometimes it felt like Miranda was losing her goddamn mind in this stifling stillness that had been thrust upon her.

"Penny for your thoughts miss?" Kasumi Goto's voice was a splendour that snapped Miranda from out of her thoughts, pulling her attention onto the thief next to her and causing her brow to crease at how she hadn't noticed the thief waking up, how she had become so distracted in her thoughts that it had seemed to dull her senses; it was a sensation Miranda Lawson was not used to, and didn't particularly like when she thought that it would be just as easy for others to do the same, others that were not like Kasumi that would not think twice about sticking a knife in her front instead of her back.

Still Miranda felt that answering Kasumi was probably the most decent thing she could do right now, after all the thief had done for her Miranda felt as though not answering Kasumi would have probably hurt more than doing something else entirely, like scowling for example and such…

So she turned her gaze back onto her companion, blue eyes wide and alert even as she began to speak, "I was wondering what you were doing sleeping next to me when the last thing I remember is Jacob telling me you would be leaving soon."

Instantly Kasumi shrugged in a way that could only mean that she thought the question was hardly anything worth noting, like a passing thought travelling her by with little to no meaning that held an unworthiness not fit for the thief's time; it was that sort of thing that made the hairs on the back of Miranda's neck stand up in both suspicion and frustration of what was to come next from Kasumi's mouth.

"I don't really want to leave," Kasumi murmured back after a few moments, shocking Miranda into a silence that she only covered up by causing her face to harden back into a look of curiosity rather than the surprise that juddered through her system the moment the thief had spoken, "and can you blame me? This place is cosy; that you've got to at least admit because hey presto! They bring you breakfast and everything!"

And as if she knew Miranda would not believe her the thief sat up to reach down to something at the bottom of the bed, moving back up a moment later with a bowl of steaming porridge in her hands that made Miranda's stomach rumble instantly once the smell of syrup and cooked grains infiltrated her nostrils; filling her up with a desire to eat that Miranda had not felt for a very long time what with finding Oriana and the only distinguishable food available being rations that tasted like foul poison each time she chewed.

She took the bowl from the thief and spooned the porridge into her mouth, restraining a moan at how delicious it tasted against her tongue and instead focused her gaze on the thief next to her, eyes burning brightly in the light of the room to bounce off the chocolate brown that was Kasumi Goto's hues; their whole intense gazing session (because Miranda refused to call it anything but that) making her burn with a want that shamed her to the fullest extent considering she still hadn't gotten over the possibility that perhaps Kasumi was more dangerous than she was leading Miranda to believe.

But at the same time Miranda found herself trusting Kasumi despite what her mind told her, because now after Shepard's influence it had become quite easy to listen to her heart (even when she didn't particularly want to) and damn the consequences, to become less calculated, to become less… like herself.

"Besides you'll miss me if I leave and…" It's at that moment Miranda realized the thief had been rambling (as she always did, and honestly Miranda was trying hard not to find it endearing) away without her taking much notice, it was perhaps always going to be this way between them but regardless Miranda could only catch snippets of Kasumi's sentence before the thief fell silent, "…and don't say you won't, because I've got things to sell too, but I'll be back. I always find some way to come back."

Miranda arched a brow at the Asian woman, shaking her head as she spooned another spoonful of porridge into her mouth, chewing slowly before speaking. "You're full of it Goto."

Kasumi grinned and bumped her shoulder against Miranda's then; sending heat to Miranda's broken leg that made it tingle and for her eyes to avert away from the thief's to stare into her bowl of porridge. She was starting to hate everything, a bit like a petulant child and she hated acting like that too. Damn the thief, damn everything about her, damn her for being understanding when she had no right to be, damn her for caring when Miranda had given her every reason not to do so, damn her…

"You can trust me you know?" Kasumi finally spoke up, startling Miranda from her thoughts and almost causing her to knock her porridge out of her lap and onto the floor with the only thing stopping the event from occurring was the thief's lightning fast reflexes that caught the very rim of the bowl, steadying it with a chuckle escaping her as she did so. "I know you don't think you can at times, but I haven't got any ulterior motives or anything to be helping you; I just am."

Now that the matter is being addressed – and Miranda is somewhat pleased not by herself – Miranda tilted her head up higher, staring deeply into Kasumi's eyes with not a flicker of the want or hesitation that had been there before; no, everything now was in the haze of ice and every little thing seemed like something that Miranda could not, should not, trust.

Miranda's hands are perfectly still, a sign of how calm she felt (when she was anything but) when looking into Kasumi's eyes. "How about you start by telling me why you're doing this for me, surely Shepard's influence over you doesn't make you feel that you have a right to follow me around, or am I wrong?"

Kasumi nodded instantly with a look on her face that made Miranda's throat feel dry at the absolute determination chiselled onto the features of the thief, it was a strange look on Kasumi's features yet it did nothing but make Miranda feel an odd sense of disquiet and for the discomfort in her belly to intensify.

"You're wrong," Kasumi answered her with another nod of her head, shrugging carelessly as though she had no other thing to worry about in this world full of Reapers and Cerberus assassins trying to hunt and kill them both. "I'm helping because I care, not because Shepard told me to. If I didn't care, then why would I put up with you, hm?"

Miranda had a funny feeling the thief had somehow insulted her and snorted at the possibility of it, amused at how something that should of raised her hackles instead made her smile and shake her head because somehow she found this side of the thief endearing instead of annoying; it was a thing she still hadn't got used to and would probably still not get used to regardless of what progressed between them – it was just another reason piled on another on why it was probably for the best she and Kasumi went their separate ways for a while.

And she was glad that was in her head too, for goodness sake, she was starting to sound like a love-sick teenager; dear god if she started singing a 21st century love song about going her own way then she would not hesitate in putting a bullet through her head because now she was starting to behave like Oriana did when it came to boys.

"You care too much then," Miranda finally spat out her words as soon as that thought left her, allowing them words to sink in for them both to hear clearly before speaking once again. "Maybe I'll be the one to betray you, then where would you be?"

Kasumi smirked and once more shrugged, getting slowly up from Miranda's bed to stare down at the injured Cerberus operative. "Dead, most likely that. Why? Is that your motive? It's going well so far I have to admit, very dastardly!"

Miranda rolled her eyes: "We're always going around in circles with one another aren't we?"

"I think that's just part of our charm," Kasumi whispered and the heart-breaking tone of it caused Miranda to swallow the lump in her throat with a gulp that echoed inside the four walls of the plastic room she was trapped in with only white walls and fake air for company, "because let's face it, none of us are heroes, and we both know it so well we always expect a stab in the back – I mean just look at me, my profession doesn't exactly breed trust now does it?"

The ex-Cerberus operative paused in what she had been thinking before, instead lifting a hand up towards her face to curl underneath her chin whilst her mind processed what had just been said by none other than this woman whom she was still at unease with when in truth all she should be feeling was trust, because it was true what Kasumi said; what reason did they have to trust one another apart from their loyalty to Shepard? It was love for the Commander that had bound them together, and both knew they would never risk breaking it lest everything turn horribly in the wrong direction.

And maybe, just maybe, because there was something deeper between them that neither of them wanted to recognize; even to themselves, never mind one another!

Trust was something that didn't come easy to Miranda, but even then she found herself staring into the thief's eyes and saw something that made her pause, cock her head to the side a little and speak. "Perhaps this time it won't be as simple as a stab in the back, maybe there won't be any knives in backs whatsoever; would it really be so hard for a thief to not do that?"

"It wouldn't be hard at all." Kasumi responded curtly, crossing her arms and placing most of her weight on one foot so that her hip was cocked to the side, a look of defiance in her stance that reminded Miranda on why there was warmth in her chest. "What about you?"

"I wouldn't even think of it." And that was the god honest truth, something Miranda had always valued about anyone above almost everything else; that they had the guts, the bravery, the intelligence to tell the truth when asked. "So no more lies, no more secrets: if we're going to stick together then no more hiding things from one another, we're upfront and honest. Agreed?"

Kasumi fidgeted uncomfortably and for a moment Miranda almost felt white-hot rage wash over her at the very sight of it, however she soon restrained it once she realized that perhaps it was not as far-fetched as it seemed to believe that of course Kasumi would find it hard to be honest about absolutely everything: she was a thief after all, a thief whose livelihood was based on lies and deceit and yet here Miranda sat, demanding that if they were going to travel together then their relationship would be honest and there would be no inkling of a lie anywhere – it was a hard thing for anyone to swallow, especially for Kasumi Goto.

"Fine, yes, agreed," Kasumi murmured after another moment of silence, turning away from her with a sigh and flippant wave of her hand to signal that the conversation was well and truly over. "Going to propose marriage now? Or are we still going steady?"

Miranda repressed a snort, yes this was definitely the old Kasumi coming back into true form. "Get going Goto, you're going to be late with whatever you're supposed to be doing back on the Citadel."

"You know I'm going to go find leads for your sister obviously," Kasumi shot over her shoulder with a huff that was so uncharacteristically unlike her that it caused Miranda to arch a brow in concern as she watched the bone underneath the thief's suit tense up. "That and try and meet up with Shepard to discuss some intel I recovered about Reaper indoctrinated victims on Kahje. Is that honest enough for you?"

Miranda didn't know what to say about the thief's scathing tone, so instead she chose to ignore it by opting for a somewhat more gentle approach as she said her farewells with a softened voice that made the thief stop the moment she was just about to storm from Miranda's room.

"Good luck then, be careful and try not get into too much trouble," it was only the start of her farewell, but Miranda deemed it good enough that it made Kasumi look back to stare at her even as words continued to tumble out of her mouth. "And make sure you come back – too many people I've cared about haven't. It would be…a shame. To lose someone else."

Perhaps it was her own hesitance that had made the thief smile slightly once the words had left her lips, or maybe it was how she had tensed up ridiculously at her own sappy words or possibly it was the fact that Miranda had actually said she cared about someone out loud instead of actively expressing it; whatever the reason it made Miranda feel slightly weak as she watched the thief stare back at her with a look in her eyes that made the ex-Cerberus operative feel so very, very hollow inside.

Kasumi's painted lips parted and her fingers clenched around the pane of Miranda's door frame, the only sight that told Miranda that what Kasumi was saying was actively the cause of the pain that she could detect from the tension of the thief's stance.

"Sayonara koi," and just like that, Kasumi was gone.

Hey faithful reviewers, I have other chapters planned out for this story but as always I do like to ask what some of you reviewers would like to see in the upcoming chapters of Raw, so feel free to tell me what you like, what you want to see, etc because that would be perfect thank you. (: