(A/N) Hey. For those of you who read my Harry Potter fanfic… I'm working on it. Sort of. My muse decided to take a vacation, and instead of bringing me back plot ideas for The Next Gen, he brought back the King of Snark and the Man in the Jumper. So terribly sorry.
Anyway, I was bored today, as I was attending my 8-year-old sister's softball practice. Dull. I had a friend, but she was not being very vocal. I got bored. So I texted one of my Sherlock-obsessed friends, hoping she could amuse me for a while. I did not expect it to end up as a conversation between John and Sherlock, but it did. So I thought I'd post it here for all my lovely little readers. Cheers!
March 15th, 5:40 pm
Bored. Entertain me.
SH
5:48 pm
Isn't there a gun laying around the flat?
JW
5:49 pm
Lying. And unfortunately, I'm stuck out somewhere. Without my gun. Hindsight 20/20.
SH
5:50 pm
I'm on a date with Sarah. Can't you call a cabbie?
JW
5:51 pm
Cabbies. Cabbies are dull. Unless they're serial killers. And you killed mine.
SH
5:52 pm
Well you were in a life threatening situation. And don't tell me you had it under control, I know you didn't.
JW
5:53 pm
I most certainly did! And you killed him before I could find out for certain if I was right! Then the confiscated my pill.
SH
5:56 pm
Of course they confiscated it! It was poison, Sherlock! You can't expect Lestrade to make every possible exception for you, he'd get sacked!
JW
5:58 pm
Insignificant. And it wasn't poison. Not the one I chose.
SH
5:58 pm
How can you be sure, Sherlock? You're not always right about everything, you know.
JW
5:59 pm
I was right that time. Child's play, really
SH
6:00 pm
Oh, I'm Sherlock Holmes, and I can do anything I please because I'm a genius sociopath. Good Lord, Sherlock.
JW
6:03 pm
Precisely, John. I always knew you were slightly more intelligent than the average idiot.
SH
6:04 pm
Oh, don't pretend to compliment me, Sherlock. I don't appreciate your condescending comments.
JW
6:05 pm
And I don't appreciate being forced to work with Anderson. Sadly, there are some things in life we cannot avoid.
SH
6:06 pm
Like jumping off of buildings?
JW
6:08 pm
I was under the impression you had forgiven me for that. I took the punch and everything!
SH
6:08 pm
Besides, it really was unavoidable. Unless you'd rather have died?
SH
6:09 pm
I hate when you do this, Sherlock. Outsnark me and still be right. It's completely unfair.
JW
6:12 pm
If you expect life to be fair, you obviously haven't been living long enough.
SH
6:12 pm
Sherlock… I'm older than you.
JW
6:13 pm
Being alive and living are quite different things. … Trust me, I'd know.
SH
6:34 pm
Johnnnn!
SH
6:35 pm
I told you I'm on a date, you can't keep butting in. If cabbies are boring, call Lestrade, or Molly. Or Anderson!
JW
6:37 pm
Lestrade's buggering his wife (idiot, she's sleeping with a janitor. I just told him so on Tuesday, too), Molly would get the wrong impression and be annoying, and NO.
SH
6:38 pm
Donovan?
JW
6:39 pm
Most likely with Anderson, but still not going to happen either way. As you very well know.
SH
6:40 pm
Fine. Give me 20 minutes. Just got back to the flat.
JW
6:41 pm
Thank you.
SH
6:42 pm
Uh… Sherlock?
JW
6:43 pm
What do you want, John?
SH
6:43 pm
Since when has there been a human skin hanging like drapery in our flat?
JW
6:44 pm
… Since two?
SH
6:45 pm
May I ask why?
JW
6:46 pm
It's an experiment! (And if you didn't guess that, you're dimmer than I thought)
SH
6:47 pm
What experiment could you possibly be performing with the skin of… a Russian woman? Am I correct?
JW
6:49 pm
Estonian
SH
6:57 pm
John?
SH
7:05 pm
Johnnn?
SH
7:10 pm
… You aren't coming to get me, are you?
SH
7:11 pm
Nope.
JW
(A/N) So there you are. Our beautiful text conversation (except she actually stopped texting me after "Estonian," (she tends to abandon me in the middle of a conversation a lot). I hope you enjoyed it. It was actually rather helpful with my writing – the whole "getting into the mindset of the character" thing. I spent a few minutes trying to come up with a good reply sometimes.
Anyway, thanks for reading!
If convenient, review. If inconvenient, review anyway. Could be dangerous.