Author: Rae
Title: I Have a Plan!
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG
Pairings: 2x5x2
Warnings: None. Some spoilers for Endless Waltz, but nothing big.
Disclaimer and Note: Don't own them. This was really fun to write. Probably one of the funnest things I've ever done. A touch of humor, a touch of romance, and a small dash of angst. Rather fluffish, but not really sappy.
Beta-ed by: Bronze! *huggles*
Feedback: appreciated and adored. I try to get back to everyone personally. If I don't, kick me in the shins!
"I have a plan! Not a good plan...but a plan!" a voice said hopefully.
"You always have plans."
"Yeah, and when have they ever failed?"
"Always?"
A hesitation followed. "That's not fair."
"Of course it isn't. Life is not fair. Deal with it."
"I don't want to deal with it."
"Really? And what do you want?" The question was mocking.
"I want...a turkey sandwich without bread."
Another short pause, until a proper reply could be made. "A sandwich's main ingredient is bread. If there's no bread, it's not a sandwich."
"Says you! And who are you to judge what is or isn't a sandwich?"
"..."
"Ha! I've got you there! You can't argue with my logic."
"Or lack thereof."
"Was that an insult?"
Silence descended on the pair for several moments while each waited for the other to say something more.
"Do you want to hear my plan, or not?"
"If 'not' would include not having to hear your voice at all, then I'll take the second option."
"That wasn't very nice."
"As the world is not fair, I am not nice. Deal with it."
"I don't want to deal with it."
"..."
"Do you want to know what I -do- want?"
"A sandwich without bread?"
"No, silly. You can't have a sandwich without bread."
"..."
"You have to admit that that was funny."
"At this point in time, I find nothing humorous in anything you happen to say."
"Really? Well, since I can't tickle your funny bone, can I try to make you really mad?"
"Tickle my what? No, you can not try to make me mad. My anger is a volatile and dangerous emotion. Do not trifle with it."
"Volatile? -Dangerous-? You have to be kidding me! Dude, my goldfish is more dangerous than you when it's angry!"
"You don't have a goldfish."
"That's not the point."
"Is there ever a point?"
"...You know, I'm really starting to think that you don't like me."
"What was your first indication?" The sarcasm was thick in his voice once again.
"I didn't ask to be stuck with you as a partner, you know. It's not like this was my choice."
"I realize that. Now could you please be quiet? I'm getting a headache."
"Of course."
Silence stretched between them for almost a minute, and then the more serious of the two quietly stated, "that is just unnatural."
"You're telling me." A sigh of relief was heard, along with the sounds of shifting.
"Just keep it to a dull roar, okay?"
"Dull roar?"
"Please."
"Okay," the speaker whispered. "What should I talk about?"
"You mean that you don't have a topic off the top of your head?"
"Not really. You've shot down everything I've thought of so far."
"What was your plan?"
"Um...well...I don't think I want to tell you right -now-. Let's make a deal. I'll talk about something else for five minutes, and then I'll tell you my plan. Deal?"
"I don't see what difference it makes, but go ahead."
"Okay. Let's see. Time for a monologue, I think."
"Save me."
"Shush! I'm getting ready to have a grand speech here."
"I'm sure."
"Come on!"
"Fine, continue."
"Thank you, oh kind sir."
"Sarcasm?"
"If it works for you it works for me. Anyway..."
The newly appointed listener gave a polite cough to indicate that the other was to go on.
"Now that this war is over, and we're peace-keepers and all of that, things are really different. I hardly see any of you guys anymore, except when the Preventers call in favors, and then it's all 'Complete the mission and get home in time for Oprah'."
"I do not watch-"
"It's just an example! I didn't figure you did. But see, that's what it's like. I see you at work and that's about it, and I never see the other three, which all in all probably isn't a bad thing, because as much as I love all of you guys, I think not seeing you would probably hurt the most."
"Hn?"
"It's really weird. Sometimes in life, you look back on a certain point and you can tell exactly where your life changed and you know the exact moment that your stomach was ripped from your body and your heart was trampled on by a herd of stampeding Maganuacs, and all you can think about is what life would be like if you could take that moment back."
Thoughtful silence spread for several seconds before the monologue continued.
"Our lives could be different than they are right now, but I wouldn't trade in who I am or who I'm with for anything. The war is over and we've survived. We're the strongest people in the universe because we've managed to save not only the lives of innocents but our own sanities not once, but twice."
"Nothing can take that from us."
"That's right. We are strong and we are survivors. The meek didn't inherit the earth, the proud did. We are a people united, now in both peace and in war, and no one can take that away from us."
"When was that moment, for you?" His voice is hesitantly curious, as if he doesn't want to ask and is doing so against his better judgement.
"When you struck out at Heero. Shortly before you showed up in town with all those people. I don't think I could describe how I felt when I learned that you were fighting for Deacon, that you were one of the men who was fighting to tear down the peace that we had worked so hard to create. I wanted to hate you."
"I imagine that you came close."
"Closer than you think. There's a thin line between love and hate, and I was riding it pretty strong, right up until you showed up in Nataku, the people standing below you, ready to fight. And the hate and anger disintegrated into a feeling of proud betrayal. And let me tell you that those two emotions do not go well together. Not at all."
"Should I apologize?"
"No. You did what you did because you thought it was right, and that's what we've always done. Fight for honor, fight for those who died for us, fight for those who were still living. I used to think you were crazy, always obsessed with justice and honor, but I think, in the end, I've always known that you were right."
"I run, I hide, but I never lie."
"Hm...I love that quote. I don't remember where I picked it up, but I like it. Kind of catchy, isn't it?"
"Like an annoying song that never leaves your head."
"Glad that you approve." Silence threatened before he continued with forced cheerfulness. "Ready for my great plan?"
"Are you in love with me?"
"See, I figure that the door might be too strong for us to break down-"
"Maxwell? Are you?"
"But that's okay, because I have my set-"
"Is that what you were trying to say?"
"And I figure that I can have us out of here within a minute."
"Maxwe-" He broke off suddenly. "You can have us out of here in under a minute?"
"Yeah. Of course. You doubt my skills?"
"Maxwell, we've been locked in a closet together for over two hours, and you're just now telling me that you can get us out in under sixty seconds."
"Yeah. Your point? Move over and let me get to work."
More shifting sounds could be heard. "You're amazing, you know that? You've been talking my ear off for a hundred and twenty minutes, just so that you can finally tell me that we could have been out of here one hundred and nineteen minutes ago."
"I bet you'd be ready to slaughter me if you found out that I had rigged the door so it would shut, wouldn't you?"
"You're an insane, uncouth, irresponsible, immature, dangerous, reckless, cocky, conceited, ill-mannered lout."
"He. Thanks. Feed my ego."
"I'm not about to feed you anything other than my sword in a moment."
"Sorry, 'Fei."
"My name is-"
"Wufei. Yeah, I know." The door opened and light poured in. Duo blinked in the harsh illumination and felt more than saw Wufei stand up beside him in the doorway.
They stepped out of the supply closet and Duo walked across the room and to the nearest vending machine. He quickly dug change from his pocket and bought a candy bar and a soda-pop. He turned and eyed Wufei worriedly.
The Chinese pilot was smoothing out the wrinkles in his Preventer's uniform, wiping at smudges and pressing creases. He looked up, his black eyes narrowing at Duo instantly. He stalked towards Duo, shutting the door to the closet with a nudge of his foot.
"Of all the impulsive, childish things to do. You do realize that as it's the middle of the night and we're the only two on duty, if any emergencies had happened while we were in that closet, there would have been nothing we could do?"
"Correction, there are two other Preventers on duty besides us and I had my communication device. If something had happened, I could have had us out of there quickly."
"Ah, your wonderful logic. And so you locked us in a closet together for two hours just to tell me without telling me that you're in love with me."
"I was going for quasi-romantic-" Duo started, only to be cut off roughly.
"Shut up. I've listened to you prattle on for two hours." Wufei said sharply. Duo looked down at the can in his hand with disappointment. "Maxwell." Wufei opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and shut his mouth again.
"You don't have to say anything, Fei. It was quite a bomb to drop on short notice and all. I figure that our shift gets out in five minutes, and then you won't have to see me for a whole two days, so you'll have lots of time to think it over."
Wufei placed a finger to Duo's lips. "I don't need time to think it over." His voice hard, with no sign of gentleness or tenderness. Duo stopped trying to speak and nodded his head in understanding. "Baka. Heero's right, you are a braided idiot."
"You know, I really don't need your insults right now. This is hard enough."
"I'm sure it was very difficult."
"It was. I just spent two hours trying to work up the courage to say something that I've wanted to say for two years, and you don't even have the courtesy to be nice to me."
"Kindness is not something that you should require. You're a Preventer, and beyond that, you're a gundam pilot. You're not a weak woman who needs to wait for an invitation, Duo. Stop acting like...mmmf!"
His words were cut off by Duo's mouth as the pilot kissed him firmly. Duo pulled back just as suddenly and pressed his fingers against his own lips.
Wufei smiled at him and leaned forward to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Our shift is over. I'll see you in two days."
Duo watched him turn and walk away, his eyes wide with shock. Finally shaking his head and breaking his stupor, he grinned. "I have a plan!" he called as he bounded after his fellow agent.
Title: I Have a Plan!
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG
Pairings: 2x5x2
Warnings: None. Some spoilers for Endless Waltz, but nothing big.
Disclaimer and Note: Don't own them. This was really fun to write. Probably one of the funnest things I've ever done. A touch of humor, a touch of romance, and a small dash of angst. Rather fluffish, but not really sappy.
Beta-ed by: Bronze! *huggles*
Feedback: appreciated and adored. I try to get back to everyone personally. If I don't, kick me in the shins!
"I have a plan! Not a good plan...but a plan!" a voice said hopefully.
"You always have plans."
"Yeah, and when have they ever failed?"
"Always?"
A hesitation followed. "That's not fair."
"Of course it isn't. Life is not fair. Deal with it."
"I don't want to deal with it."
"Really? And what do you want?" The question was mocking.
"I want...a turkey sandwich without bread."
Another short pause, until a proper reply could be made. "A sandwich's main ingredient is bread. If there's no bread, it's not a sandwich."
"Says you! And who are you to judge what is or isn't a sandwich?"
"..."
"Ha! I've got you there! You can't argue with my logic."
"Or lack thereof."
"Was that an insult?"
Silence descended on the pair for several moments while each waited for the other to say something more.
"Do you want to hear my plan, or not?"
"If 'not' would include not having to hear your voice at all, then I'll take the second option."
"That wasn't very nice."
"As the world is not fair, I am not nice. Deal with it."
"I don't want to deal with it."
"..."
"Do you want to know what I -do- want?"
"A sandwich without bread?"
"No, silly. You can't have a sandwich without bread."
"..."
"You have to admit that that was funny."
"At this point in time, I find nothing humorous in anything you happen to say."
"Really? Well, since I can't tickle your funny bone, can I try to make you really mad?"
"Tickle my what? No, you can not try to make me mad. My anger is a volatile and dangerous emotion. Do not trifle with it."
"Volatile? -Dangerous-? You have to be kidding me! Dude, my goldfish is more dangerous than you when it's angry!"
"You don't have a goldfish."
"That's not the point."
"Is there ever a point?"
"...You know, I'm really starting to think that you don't like me."
"What was your first indication?" The sarcasm was thick in his voice once again.
"I didn't ask to be stuck with you as a partner, you know. It's not like this was my choice."
"I realize that. Now could you please be quiet? I'm getting a headache."
"Of course."
Silence stretched between them for almost a minute, and then the more serious of the two quietly stated, "that is just unnatural."
"You're telling me." A sigh of relief was heard, along with the sounds of shifting.
"Just keep it to a dull roar, okay?"
"Dull roar?"
"Please."
"Okay," the speaker whispered. "What should I talk about?"
"You mean that you don't have a topic off the top of your head?"
"Not really. You've shot down everything I've thought of so far."
"What was your plan?"
"Um...well...I don't think I want to tell you right -now-. Let's make a deal. I'll talk about something else for five minutes, and then I'll tell you my plan. Deal?"
"I don't see what difference it makes, but go ahead."
"Okay. Let's see. Time for a monologue, I think."
"Save me."
"Shush! I'm getting ready to have a grand speech here."
"I'm sure."
"Come on!"
"Fine, continue."
"Thank you, oh kind sir."
"Sarcasm?"
"If it works for you it works for me. Anyway..."
The newly appointed listener gave a polite cough to indicate that the other was to go on.
"Now that this war is over, and we're peace-keepers and all of that, things are really different. I hardly see any of you guys anymore, except when the Preventers call in favors, and then it's all 'Complete the mission and get home in time for Oprah'."
"I do not watch-"
"It's just an example! I didn't figure you did. But see, that's what it's like. I see you at work and that's about it, and I never see the other three, which all in all probably isn't a bad thing, because as much as I love all of you guys, I think not seeing you would probably hurt the most."
"Hn?"
"It's really weird. Sometimes in life, you look back on a certain point and you can tell exactly where your life changed and you know the exact moment that your stomach was ripped from your body and your heart was trampled on by a herd of stampeding Maganuacs, and all you can think about is what life would be like if you could take that moment back."
Thoughtful silence spread for several seconds before the monologue continued.
"Our lives could be different than they are right now, but I wouldn't trade in who I am or who I'm with for anything. The war is over and we've survived. We're the strongest people in the universe because we've managed to save not only the lives of innocents but our own sanities not once, but twice."
"Nothing can take that from us."
"That's right. We are strong and we are survivors. The meek didn't inherit the earth, the proud did. We are a people united, now in both peace and in war, and no one can take that away from us."
"When was that moment, for you?" His voice is hesitantly curious, as if he doesn't want to ask and is doing so against his better judgement.
"When you struck out at Heero. Shortly before you showed up in town with all those people. I don't think I could describe how I felt when I learned that you were fighting for Deacon, that you were one of the men who was fighting to tear down the peace that we had worked so hard to create. I wanted to hate you."
"I imagine that you came close."
"Closer than you think. There's a thin line between love and hate, and I was riding it pretty strong, right up until you showed up in Nataku, the people standing below you, ready to fight. And the hate and anger disintegrated into a feeling of proud betrayal. And let me tell you that those two emotions do not go well together. Not at all."
"Should I apologize?"
"No. You did what you did because you thought it was right, and that's what we've always done. Fight for honor, fight for those who died for us, fight for those who were still living. I used to think you were crazy, always obsessed with justice and honor, but I think, in the end, I've always known that you were right."
"I run, I hide, but I never lie."
"Hm...I love that quote. I don't remember where I picked it up, but I like it. Kind of catchy, isn't it?"
"Like an annoying song that never leaves your head."
"Glad that you approve." Silence threatened before he continued with forced cheerfulness. "Ready for my great plan?"
"Are you in love with me?"
"See, I figure that the door might be too strong for us to break down-"
"Maxwell? Are you?"
"But that's okay, because I have my set-"
"Is that what you were trying to say?"
"And I figure that I can have us out of here within a minute."
"Maxwe-" He broke off suddenly. "You can have us out of here in under a minute?"
"Yeah. Of course. You doubt my skills?"
"Maxwell, we've been locked in a closet together for over two hours, and you're just now telling me that you can get us out in under sixty seconds."
"Yeah. Your point? Move over and let me get to work."
More shifting sounds could be heard. "You're amazing, you know that? You've been talking my ear off for a hundred and twenty minutes, just so that you can finally tell me that we could have been out of here one hundred and nineteen minutes ago."
"I bet you'd be ready to slaughter me if you found out that I had rigged the door so it would shut, wouldn't you?"
"You're an insane, uncouth, irresponsible, immature, dangerous, reckless, cocky, conceited, ill-mannered lout."
"He. Thanks. Feed my ego."
"I'm not about to feed you anything other than my sword in a moment."
"Sorry, 'Fei."
"My name is-"
"Wufei. Yeah, I know." The door opened and light poured in. Duo blinked in the harsh illumination and felt more than saw Wufei stand up beside him in the doorway.
They stepped out of the supply closet and Duo walked across the room and to the nearest vending machine. He quickly dug change from his pocket and bought a candy bar and a soda-pop. He turned and eyed Wufei worriedly.
The Chinese pilot was smoothing out the wrinkles in his Preventer's uniform, wiping at smudges and pressing creases. He looked up, his black eyes narrowing at Duo instantly. He stalked towards Duo, shutting the door to the closet with a nudge of his foot.
"Of all the impulsive, childish things to do. You do realize that as it's the middle of the night and we're the only two on duty, if any emergencies had happened while we were in that closet, there would have been nothing we could do?"
"Correction, there are two other Preventers on duty besides us and I had my communication device. If something had happened, I could have had us out of there quickly."
"Ah, your wonderful logic. And so you locked us in a closet together for two hours just to tell me without telling me that you're in love with me."
"I was going for quasi-romantic-" Duo started, only to be cut off roughly.
"Shut up. I've listened to you prattle on for two hours." Wufei said sharply. Duo looked down at the can in his hand with disappointment. "Maxwell." Wufei opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it, and shut his mouth again.
"You don't have to say anything, Fei. It was quite a bomb to drop on short notice and all. I figure that our shift gets out in five minutes, and then you won't have to see me for a whole two days, so you'll have lots of time to think it over."
Wufei placed a finger to Duo's lips. "I don't need time to think it over." His voice hard, with no sign of gentleness or tenderness. Duo stopped trying to speak and nodded his head in understanding. "Baka. Heero's right, you are a braided idiot."
"You know, I really don't need your insults right now. This is hard enough."
"I'm sure it was very difficult."
"It was. I just spent two hours trying to work up the courage to say something that I've wanted to say for two years, and you don't even have the courtesy to be nice to me."
"Kindness is not something that you should require. You're a Preventer, and beyond that, you're a gundam pilot. You're not a weak woman who needs to wait for an invitation, Duo. Stop acting like...mmmf!"
His words were cut off by Duo's mouth as the pilot kissed him firmly. Duo pulled back just as suddenly and pressed his fingers against his own lips.
Wufei smiled at him and leaned forward to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek. "Our shift is over. I'll see you in two days."
Duo watched him turn and walk away, his eyes wide with shock. Finally shaking his head and breaking his stupor, he grinned. "I have a plan!" he called as he bounded after his fellow agent.