Chapter 1

It made no sense. Peeta was screaming, insane. He was so like Annie it was sickening.

Screaming. Screaming. Not understanding. Just screaming.

"Don't trust her, Delly, " says Peeta in a frantic voice. "I did, and she tried to kill me. She killed my friends. My family. Don't even go near her! She's a mutt!"

Delly stumbled back, frightened. The guards ushered her out as a couple doctors went into the room.

"A mutt! She's a stinking mutt!" Peeta shrieked, bound to the table for his, and Delly's, safety.

Finnick watched through the one way window, hands winding the rope. A muscle twitched in his jaw. Katniss turned her back on the scene and is pulled out by Haymitch and Plutarch, leaving Finnick alone with Boggs and the medical team who were scribbling into their notebooks rapidly.

The doctors injected a sedative into his veins; he fell limp almost immediately.

Finnick wondered what tortures had been done to him to truly make him believe Katniss was a mutt. Not even human.

He watched the young blonde boy hang limply against the table until the doctors pressed a button and the table returned to a flat position.

Finnick could take no more. Peeta was asleep, he wouldn't scream anymore, but Annie was in their compartment, doing God knows what.

He ignored the schedule on his arm and went to their compartment.

His lover- no his fiancé- lay in their bed.

"Hey, love," he knelt next to the bed beside her. She looked at him with eyes identical to his.

"Hi, Finnick."

Her voice was still shaky. He took her tiny hand in his and kissed it.

"Aren't you hungry? You have been in here all day."
She shook her head. Annie hated crowds.

"Scoot over."

Annie did as told and he took her place, holding her against his chest. She was shaking, she always shook. Her nerves tortured her.

At least she wasn't screaming. The first night of her return she wailed and wailed and wailed. He held her in his arms on the floor. He didn't ask what they did to her, he didn't want to know.

Her ebony hair was limp as it fell around her face. She was once so beautiful. So youthful. When they met, she was an arrogant girl, entering the Hunger Games. He didn't like her much but he was her mentor so he had to stay by her side. When the boy was beheaded next to her, she screamed for the first time.

But she didn't stop. She kept going on and on. Finnick, only nineteen then, watched in shock from his hotel room. Suddenly, his disdain for her was over. He wanted to run into the arena, to save her.

Luckily, the earthquake broke the dam. She had gone mad, yes, but she was from District 4, she was able to swim when the other tributes drowned. It was the fastest games ever.

Five years later, she was still insane. Hair lank, skin pale, eyes dead. But he loved her. Finnick, the most lusted for man in the nation, President Snows sex slave, loved her. Only her.

He convinced her to go to dinner with him, shielding her from the world with his presence. Several times, she covered her ears with her hands, squeezing her eyes shut, an old habit. As always, he gently pulled her arms down and whispered, "Baby, it's okay. Don't be afraid. I love you."

People stared. He was used to it. They questioned his sanity as well; he had done little to convince them otherwise. His recent on-air confession as a forced prostitute always brought more whispers. Now, he was with the only living victor to ever go mad. It was a bit of a spectacle. He felt the muscle jump in his jaw again; the whole country now knew he was a whore.

After the meal, Annie fell asleep soon in their bed. She hated reality. It was only nine o'clock so Finnick went wandering.

He saw Beetee, in the room with the one-way window, watching Peeta. The teenager was still asleep, sedatives still pumping into his arm.

"Any news on him?"

Beetee shook his head, "We have no clue what was done to him. He was captured madly in love with Katniss, now he wants to kill her. The capitol is some sick people.

The two men watched him.

"Its horrible." Beetee continued.

Finnick nodded, fingers trying knots into his rope without looking.

"No, not just that he was tortured. But that he is a victor."

Finnick did a double take. How could he say that? "I'm sorry, Beetee, I don't follow you."

The older man removed his thick glasses, wiping them clean. "He shouldn't be a victor. He should have never been a tribute."

That, Finnick did understand. Beetee, Peeta and Annie were the perfect example of someone who should have died quick in the games. Annie won because of luck, Peeta was because he was smart and Katniss went through everything she could to protect him. Beetee was solely reliant on his intellect, being short and pudgy.

Finnick was victor through and through. Tall, muscular, athletic. He killed without stopping, using his trident to slay all his opponents. Sometimes they haunted his dreams, but if he hadn't killed them, he would have joined them in death.

Peeta was unmoving on the hard metal table. The bright white lights highlighted his soft features. He was so innocent looking in his sleep, almost like a child. His body was worn, showing his transition back in forth from being muscular to skinny and back again.

Only seventeen and he had seen hell. Finnick closed his eyes. He was the same. Twenty-four and he had killed, trained young children to kill, and been a member of the sex trafficking industy.

He opened his eyes and swore to himself.

Peeta's eyes were open. Weakly, he was looking straight at them, though they know he couldn't see them.

The poor boy looked so weak, so broken. It made Finnick's innards twist.

"Beetee, can- can I go in?"

The man considered this. "He still isn't safe."

Of course he wasn't, the last times he had human contact, he attempted to strangle Katniss and raged at Delly.

"He is probably nervous. Annie acts out when she is frightened. Untie him-" Beetee looked at him, ready to argue "- C'mon man, you've seen me in the arena. Peeta wouldn't stand a chance against me."

It took a little more convincing, but eventually Finnick was allowed to enter the room. He squinted at the lights before using the key he was given to remove Peeta's bonds.

The young baker watched him, weary.

Finnick waited until he was untied to speak.

"Hello, Peeta."

Silence. Maybe the torture caused him to forget Finnick entirely.

"Do you remember me?"

Slowly, Peeta nodded.

"What do you remember?"

"You kissed me."

This made the fisherman laugh out loud. Peeta sat up, slowly, stiff.

"Don't laugh. You know you did."

"Not exactly. I saved you. It's called CPR."

Peeta looked at him, confused. Finnick remembered the boy laying on the ground, no breath, no pulse. Katniss was panicking, shaking him. Finnick reached over and held his nostrils closed. Poor Katniss must have thought she was going to hurt him because she pushed Finnick down onto the ground. He quickly convinced her that it was to help him, and sealed him mouth over Peeta's. Breathe, push, breathe, push, breathe, push.

It took several minutes, Finnick almost gave up hope, but Peeta finally began to breathe on his own.

Now, he saw something he had never seen in his eyes before. Distrust.

It didn't go well with such beautiful blue eyes.

"Peeta. What's going on in your head right now?"

He desperately wanted to know. He wanted to try to help.

"What's going on in yours?" Peeta roared. The sudden ferocity of his voice made Finnick jump. "You have allied with her! That filthy mutt! Why don't you see her for what she is, Finnick?"

"No! She isn't! She is human! You love her! I do not know what they did to you but you know that you love her!"

Peeta looked aghast. He lunged forward, seizing Finnicks arms. "How- how dare you! How dare you say that?" His eyes were alive with fury. "I could never love her!"

Finnick stood but Peeta maintained his grip on his forearms. "Let go!" He looked at the window. From this side it was totally black. Was Beetee still watching? Was he calling for the guards?

Peeta was raving now. Yelling. Finnick didn't want to hurt the boy but he refused to let him hold him anymore. He thrust his elbow into Peeta's jaw, sending him reeling, releasing his grip.

"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you but I will not stand by while you insult her! She is on our side. You are mad!" he shouted.

Peeta's eyes narrowed. It wasn't right. Was this the look he gave Brutus before he killed him? He didn't believe that such gentle eyes could hold so much venom. "You are one of them aren't you? You probably are helping her." He gave a sick, sadistic laugh. Finnick was frozen in his place. This couldn't be the same boy who had stolen the hearts of the nation with his good natured sweet personality.

Peeta continued. "The great, dynamic Finnick Odair. It makes sense. Everyone loves you. You could make them do anything. But I see you now. You are just like that mutt Katniss. A monster. No- even worse. You are a whore."

"Fuck you."

That was all Finnick could get out before he turned and stormed out. It was all wrong. His anger wasn't at Peeta. It was at President Snow. He had killed Peeta, replaced him with another robotic capitol driven fool.

Haymitch stood outside the door. Sobriety didn't suit him. He looked worse then he did when drunk.

"I don't know what to do with him, Finnick." His voice was hoarse, worn.

"There is nothing you can do."

Haymitch shook his head. "They think it's tracker jacker venom. They must have used to it to give him hallucinations. To make him think that all those memories in his head are real. We need to convince him otherwise."

Finnick thought of the boy he left behind in that room. He didn't think anything could be done. Peeta seemed to have totally lost it.

He retired to Annie that night. She was still asleep so he climbed in next to her, holding her to his body, breathing in her sweet scent.

Gale sat with him at breakfast as Annie had opted out again. The teenager was happy about Peeta's madness, but he tried not to show it. Finnick had gotten to know Gale quite well so we was able to see through his façade as he pretended to be disappointed when they learned that Peeta had to be sedated for another outburst that morning.

Finnick wondered if Gale would ever give up hope of getting Katniss to run away with him.

After training, Gale and Beetee disappeared off to perfect some more bombs and Finnick went with Boggs to observe Peeta. He was sleeping again, innocent.

Boy in his sleep. Maniac when awake.

"You went in last night?"

Finnick nodded. "Just curious. They really screwed with him."

Boggs crossed his arms, "He seems sane as long as Katniss isn't on his mind. It's like flipping a switch."

They stayed, watching the boy. Finally, Boggs left but Finnick didn't move. Doctors went in an out, changing the IV's in his arm, checking his pulse, prying open his eyes.

Peeta barely moved due to the tranquilizer. Finally, he awoke. His eyes landed on Finnick again but he knew all he saw was black.

He looked frightened this time, pulling at his bonds. Finnick felt a pang of pity and entered the room once more.

"Hello."

Peeta nodded at him, "Hello,"

There was a nasty bruise on his jaw, the same color as the fingerprints on Finnicks arms.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"A bit. I'm sorry for what I said to you. It was wrong of me."

Finnick chuckled, sitting next to Peeta. He opted not to free him from the bonds this time.

"It's not as bad as your bruise. Don't apologize for anything. You have a lot going on in your mind."

Peeta was silent, staring deep into his eyes. "I'm scared, Finnick. They are confusing me. I know what I believe, but they keep telling me it's not true. What is happening?"

"It isn't true, Peeta. They did things to you I can't comprehend. I don't know what you are thinking so I cannot tell you what to think."

Peeta didn't respond, just lay there. Finally, Finnick made to stand.

"No!" Peeta jerked, held fast to the table. "Please don't go."

"Okay, okay. I'll stay."

Finnick drew his legs to his chest and stayed put, doing all he knew how to, tie knots a small length of a rope. Still, neither spoke. Peeta eyes were open but blank, leaving the fisherman to believe that he was skimming through his thoughts, trying and failing to sort them.

At 10:30, Finnick was forced to leave. Peeta argued with him for a moment but he saw the guards and knew that it was curfew time, if Finnick was caught out of his compartment after this time, he would be punished.

The next morning, Beetee awoke the young sleeping couple. Annie was frightened of people, so she stayed curled in bed as Finnick opened the door to greet him.

"Peeta is asking for you." The man said.

"Me?"

"Yes. He refuses to take his medicine until you come."

Finnick kissed Annie goodbye, making her promise to go to breakfast, and went to Peeta's room. He was untied, sitting upright on the metal table.

"Finnick," he said, smiling.

"Hi, Peeta."

To his surprise, the blonde boy hugged him. He accepted it without argument. It was better then being called a mutt.

Peeta was more talkative this time, he went on and on about all types of things. How much his back hurt, how much better Delly looked since she lost weight, how much he wanted to paint.

"I am really good at painting. Did you know that?" Peeta was smiling, like the boy he used to be.

Finnick nodded, "I have seem some of the work. It was very impressive."

He wasn't lying. Peeta's paintings had been shown all over the nation, some were auctioned off for a decent amount of money.

Finnick skipped breakfast and training to stay with Peeta, but by lunch he was so hungry he had to leave. He planned to return but they had sedated him by the time he finished.

It continued like this for weeks. The doctors did the best to convince Peeta that Katniss wasn't a monster, but it was a slow process. By the time of the wedding, he was sane enough to be permitted to decorate the wedding cake.

His occupation as a baker paid off, the cake was exquisite.

Finally, he had gone long enough without an outburst that he was allowed to a meal with the group. Finnick watched, apprehensive, holding Annie's hand as an argument erupted between him and Katniss. She stormed off and he was left behind, arguing with himself, like he was two people. Annie reacted badly. She seized Finnicks shirt, shaking. He quickly scooped her up and rushed her to their compartment as she began to panic, thrashing around.

When she finally calmed down, he laid her in the bed and let her sleep, running off to check Peeta's condition. He wasn't in the viewing room, instead he was in his own compartment.

After much argument, Finnick was allowed in. Peeta was sitting on the bunk, curled into a ball. He looked so scared and broken that he might have been Annie's twin.

The room was suicide proof, insuring the boy's safety. Finnick sat next to him, careful to not provoke him.

Peeta's eyes watched him. "Finnick, am I mad?"

"No, Peeta. You are confused. Not mad."

The blue eyes, so dead and broken, closed tightly. He lunged forward, throwing his arms around Finnick. The redhead was used to this, Annie did it often, so he opened his arms and allowed him to bury his face in his chest.

Peeta's body shook as Finnick gently rocked him back and forth, saying nothing. He felt his shirt bunch as Peeta held onto it for dear life but he didn't care. It could be iron out, Peeta would be harder to fix.

"I don't know what's happening!" Peeta gasped into his chest. "There is two of everything. Two scenarios for everything in my mind. I don't know what's real and what isn't!"

Finnick realized Haymitch was right. They must have used the venom to put images into his head, conflicting with the real ones.

Peeta pulled back, covering his face with his own hands. His eyes were red but his face was pale.

"Finnick, tell me the truth!"

"About what?"

"Did you kiss me or did you save me?"

This made Finnick do a double take. "What do you mean?"

Peeta ran his hands through his hair, "I remember you. Flirting with Katniss, helping me swim to the Cornucopia, killing that man from District 5. But there is one thing that I see two scenes. Finnick, I know of your past. I know what you are. In one scenario, I see you doing as you said, saving me, giving me your breath. In another, I see…."

Finnick leaned forward, trying to read his eyes, "See what?"

"I see you trying to rape me."

What? Finnick was frozen. Rape?

"NO!" he shouted. Peeta jumped.

"I- I would never! I was saving you!" Finnick stood, enraged.

It was disgusting. The capitol had taken a moment that Finnick had done something valiant, and distorted it, using his public image as a sex addict and a whore against him.

Peeta stared hard at the bed, not wanting to meet his eyes. "I've been conflicted. I knew I should be scared. But I've wanted you by me. Even though I thought you attempted to force yourself on me. I've- I've been thinking that I shouldn't have rejected you."

That wasn't what Finnick expected. What was Peeta trying to say?

"I'm a sick person. Here I am, thinking you tried to rape me before. Scared of you, but hoping you would try to do it again."

"Peeta," Finnick's voice was low, "I never tried to rape you. I would never do that. I wasn't kissing or holding you down."

"But what if I want you to?"

Peeta stood up. He was smaller, slighter than Finnick but still a considerable size as he closed the distance.

"You…don't know what you are doing." Finnick whispered. Peeta was so close that his lips grazed the boy's as he spoke.

"I don't know anything anymore." And with that, he leaned in. The kiss was chaste, short. But definitely not an attempt to save ones life.

After, they looked at each other, Finnick's sea green eyes drifting over Peeta. The boy was young, frightened. It seemed wrong not to comfort him.

So he pushed everything from his mind. His wife, the rebellion, District 13, everything as he leaned down and kissed him once more.

It was deeper this time, more solid. Peeta raised his hands to cup Finnicks neck as he circled his arms around his waist. The boy tasted of medicine but it mixed well with his youthful taste. He gave into the larger man, allowing him to take control.

Knock knock.

They broke the kiss to look at the door. "Almost 10:30, solider Odair." Came a guards voice.

Peeta buried his face in his chest again. Finnick kissed his forehead.

"I'll come back, I promise."

Please review! I want to make my stories great so any advice is helpful! :)