A/N: So-apologies on taking so long to update. Personal stuff came up and I haven't had time to do much of anything.

Her eyes burned. The lighting above seemed to be the reason behind the feeling. She could feel a presence lingering at her side. Not really wanting to open her eyes, she fought against the feeling to keep them closed and let them pop open.

The smell alone had given away her current residence. There was not enough air freshener in the world that could take away the strong antiseptic smell of a hospital. Of course figuring out where she was, brought back the memories. The guns and thugs. The dead body of Frank Stewart...then Shawn. The blood that seemed to not stop seeping from the wound on his side.

Looking to her right, she saw her partner. The uncomfortable glower on his face made her realize how long he'd been camping out at her bedside. The thought was shoved backwards, as she yanked a more pressing question to the forefront of her mind.

"Shawn?" She instantly made a face at how weak and pathetic her voice sounded.

Carlton shook his head, as he rubbed a weary hand over his face. She could read his expression like an open book, and maybe that's what he wanted. The easy way out, not having to be honest with her. Her brow wrinkled in frustration.

"He coded on the surgical table, but they were able to revive him. He had lost a lot of blood, but they gave him a transfusion. After they started to repair the extensive damage that the bullet had caused, he started to bleed out. They were able to stop the bleeding, but he coded..."

"Carlton, please, stop beating around the bush." Her eyes were weary but, she needed the truth dammit!

"He had been deprived of oxygen for too long. He was unresponsive when they were able to revive him. An hour later, he coded again..."

Sighing, as she lifted her hand to cover her eyes, she winced in pain. "Carlton... is he..."

"He didn't make it. I'm sorry."

She watched, as he patted her unbandaged shoulder, before leaving the room. The tears came fast and easy. It wasn't possible for her to hate herself anymore at that point. How long had she had feelings for him? Feelings that was way more than friendship... and what did she do? She hid it, she pushed it so far down until she couldn't feel it anymore. Chance after chance, and she wasted them all until it was too late.

Her head snapped up at the squeaking of the door opening. She winced at the pain that throbbed behind her temples at the quick movement.

"Hey..." His voice squeaked. Making a face, unsure that the actual noise came from him, he cleared his throat before continuing. "Mind if I come in?"

Juliet offered, what she hoped was a smile, as she tried to hide the continuing flow of water from her eyes.

"Sure." Her voice still hoarse, she blinked a couple of times until the tears ebbed their flow.

"I just..." He started to pace right beside her bed. His hand rubbed against his smooth head. "He woke up... right before he uh..." His hand rubbed against his eyes, as he appeared to choke on his words. The words that she knew that she couldn't bare to hear. The ones that she wouldn't even be able to mutter for a while. He sighed, before he continued his erratic pacing. "Right before he...died." The word was a mere whisper and she barely heard it, but she had. The tears flushed hard against her closed eyelids. Praying to keep them at bay until Gus left, she opened them carefully.

His pacing had ceased, and he now accompanied the chair that Lassiter had vacated only a few moments ago.

"When he... came to, he only said one thing. Just one." She saw the swimming look in his eyes, and knew that he too was on the verge of tears. "He said 'Is Jules safe? Did it for her.' Do you...umhm know what he meant by that?"

Unfortunately she did, and she could no longer keep the tears at bay. The floodgates opened once again, and the tears flowed, and for once she didn't care who saw.

"He... lead Mason and Mikey away from the room that we had been hiding out in. He knew that if we were both caught that neither of us would make it out alive...Oh god. Gus, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I never..."

His hand clasped over hers. "No Juliet, it's not. Shawn made his decision, and if anyone knows Shawn, it's me. Once he makes up his mind about something, you will not change it..."

She looked at him, the tears cascading down her face at an alarmingly high speed. He squeezed her hand, as a few tears slipped down his cheeks as well.

The wind blew heavy, furiously through the cemetery. The trees seemed to be waving their own personal goodbye to Shawn Spencer. Though Juliet wasn't supposed to be released from the hospital for a few more days, she had sent Lassiter on the job of bailing her out early. There was no way that she'd miss his funeral. Not after he gave his life to save her. It was only after she talked to Gus, did Henry give her a complete recap. It was the beating he took after she had been shot that had been what caused his death overall. The wound alone wasn't bad enough to have killed him, but after he was kicked in the side, the bullet had moved. Ricocheting off a rib to puncture his liver, and disintegrating an artery.

Because of how he died, and his working relationship with the station, he was getting a police officer's burial.

Chief Vick stood off to the side, a few pieces of paper in her hand. Henry had asked her to give the eulogy. While she had vehemently refused at first, she had accepted a few days later.

Carlton stood on her right side, his hand sat uncomfortably on her shoulder. The closeness with his partner was causing a slight build up of sweat just above his brow. Using his free hand, he dabbed at it carefully.

Henry and Gus stood on her left. Tears were built up in both of their eyes. Staring straight ahead, listening to the words, though at the same time not really there. Their minds had wondered off to times when Shawn was saying asinine things, and jumping around like he had ants in his pants.

Juliet, however, heard nothing that was said. Instead, she found her attention on the picture of Shawn. Large in size, and capturing that lop-sided grin that always turned her world upside down. Just knowing she'd never see it again, broke her heart, and forced more tears down her cheeks. All the near misses, the close talking, all of it. She had so many chances to tell him just how much she cared about him, and she had blown them all. In fact the one and only time she had tried to tell him how she felt, it had blown up in her face so bad. That alone had made her fearful of putting herself out there again, and now she had lost her chance.

When Carlton's grip on her shoulder tightened only slightly, she realized that she had missed all of it. Everything that was said about Shawn, she had missed. Even the chief's speech. This only made her feel worse, as she watched them get ready to lower Shawn into the ground. Slowly, the line formed, as Madeline and Henry followed by Gus, dumped a hand full of dirt onto the casket. She followed, trying to keep herself from falling apart altogether. Carlton and the chief brought up the rear of the line. The people most important in Shawn's life. The ones who would be forever changed because of him.