Wouldn't Change A Thing

Disclaimer: Ally Carter owns all. Dialogue is my own.

I was sitting in the library by myself when he found me. It wasn't like I was hiding; just looking for a moment to think to myself, something that didn't come often. I was in the back corner on the window seat, my own journal propped open in front of me, the three sentences about my father and the circus highlighted with yellow marker.

When he came over he didn't say anything, just drew the journal out of my hands, closed it and held it in his own, his eyes burning holes in the side of my face. When I finally looked at him his eyes darted down to the journal and I felt like someone needed to break the strange tension.

"Are you going to read it?" I asked him, unsure of the answer, even though it wasn't important.

He shook his head and sat down across from me. "Why would I want to read something you wrote when you were getting handsy with Jimmy?" he replied.

"Josh," I corrected right of the bat. "And getting handsy Zach? Really?"

He shrugged. "You seem to do it with me a lot," he said, smirking, his face a picture of the boy I would always remember.

"You wish," I said, randomly thinking back to the time he'd said something similar in Ireland when we were trying to retrieve the list.

That seemed to want to bring him off topic. "Whatever," he said. "I don't need to see this one anyway," he held it up before setting it in his lap. "The one about when you first met me though," he started. "That would be interesting to read, how I had you completely under my spell, drooling after me and you were smitten by—"

"Stop," I cut him off. "It's embarrassing."

"—my gorgeous smile and boyish charm," he finished teasing and when I didn't reply he chuckled at my bright red face. "Why?" he then asked, in a quite tone as though there was a serious answer.

I shook my head. "Mostly because it's true."

This time he laughed. He leaned over slowly, pressing his lips against mine. It wasn't a long kiss, but it was long enough for him to silently tell me how much I meant to him.

"If I wrote one it would probably be about how much I cared about you," he said softly. Then added, "and how much of a pain it was to protect your sorry ass."

"I'm sorry for burdening you," I replied. He was joking; I had known that but obviously something in my tone caught his attention.

"I was kidding," he said.

I nodded. "I know."

"I wouldn't take back any of it," Zach said.

"Even the parts with your mother?"

He shrugged, and propped his arms up on his bent knees and looked out the window. "Of course there are things I could change— if they were in my control. But right now you're safe and alive, and I couldn't ask for anything else."

I smiled; I loved seeing the sensitive side of Zach that was usually so far away and hiding.

Gently, he pulled the journal from his lap and returned it to my hands. "Don't overthink it."

"It's only three sentences," I remarked. "Three little sentences."

"Hardly anything to fuss about," he said but both of us knew that wasn't true. Spies knew the smallest details could have enormous impacts— the circus sentences being exhibit A.

"If I had just—" I started but he didn't let me finish, pulling me into his arms and coaxing my head to his chest.

"Don't overthink it," he repeated. "You can't change anything."

"It's got to end," I said, relaxed now that his arms were keeping me safe inside Gallagher's walls.

"It will," he said. "Winter break. We'll get Preston and next semester everything will be different. You will be safe."

"Safe?" I echoed, the word sounding so foreign and unfamiliar. I almost couldn't remember what it really felt like, except for times like this: when he was holding me, or when I was with me best friends staying up way past curfew and just talking about things that had nothing to do with spies.

"Safe," he repeated, strong and firm. He was steady and if there was anything about him I loved more than the way he felt about me it was that. Maybe at one point Zach had been a dangerous, reckless, unpredictable part of my life but now he was here, and he had made it clear he wasn't going anywhere.

"I like safe," I admitted. "Safe is good."

"We've only got a few more weeks to finals," he said. "Then everything will be over."

I liked the sound of that to.

I tilted my head back at him. "You always know what to say, don't you?"

He laughed and kissed me again. "You make it way too easy."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I know you too well," he said.

I blew air in his face before turning my head back to the window. I spied Madame Dabney's tea room. Then my thoughts traveled in completely different direction. Zach must have noticed that something changed because I felt his arms squeeze tighter around me. He knew what I was thinking, even though I hadn't given him any indication.

"I'm not crazy," I said as I thought about that night when Dr. Steve had told me to jump— to get rid of all the information and memories. It wasn't even me, but I could never erase it from my mind. Everyone had to have thought I was crazy— I thought I was crazy.

"Gallagher Girl—"

And just like that it was gone, Zach's completely mundane nickname for me bringing me back down to reality— the reality that I was in Zach's arms, safe, happy, and certainly not crazy.

"I'm fine," I said, like so many times I had this year, except for once I meant it. "Seriously. Just a moment— a fleeting thought. It's all gone now."

He breathed a sigh of relief. I knew it made him anxious when my thoughts wandered too far away for his liking, or if any part of me wandered off too far for that matter.

That's probably why he'd been looking for me. Scared that I'd run off again, or worse: that something had happened to me.

It could get annoying, but when someone cares about you that much it wasn't easy to complain.

"Good," he sand and I felt his lips on my hair, pressing down to the tender spot where I'd been hit and more than likely injected with something to make me forget my summer, courtesy of Dr. Steve. I'd have to remember to thank him for that—not.

I trailed my fingers over the journal, forcing myself not to open it again.

"We're going to be okay," I said, wondering if I needed him to confirm it for me. "All of us."

"Everyone is going to be okay," he confirmed, "us, your mom and Abby, Bex, Liz, and Macey, Joe, even Townsend."

"Townsend," I mused. "What do you think of him?"

Zach laughed. "Why?"

"I don't know, boys are weird. I was just wondering."

"He's cool," Zach replied, honestly. I had to admit I loved the honest side of Zach— the one that wasn't constantly being cryptic and withholding the truth. "He's kind of intimidating."

I laughed. "I agree."

I felt him kiss my head. "He protects you," Zach said. "That's what matters."

I rolled my eyes, a bit annoyed he couldn't see me do it. "You're so protective."

"Someone has to be," he pointed out. "If we left you to your own defenses, I'm not sure where you would be. Probably in some secret passageway."

I laughed again. "Probably."

I realized then I was so lucky to have someone like him— so lucky to have him. Even if he was crazy over protective. Gilly knows I needed it.

"Thank you," I said.

"For?"

"Being Zach," and he laughed; a sound that I hoped I would never forget. I knew right now I didn't want anything else. We were sitting on a bench overlooking a campus that had been my home for so long, a home that had always been the safest place for me. With the people that loved me till the end of the earth. Zach had it right: I wouldn't change a thing.

Ahhh! So I read the book. :))) It was ah-maz-ing! Like serious: The best yet. I'm so crazy jealous of her writing skills. If anyone had any questions or want to tell me your favorite part from the book please feel free to include it in a review. Nothing is what we thought :)
I had to write this because I literally just finished it. I wanted to do a cute Zammie look at the new Zammie (I think they changed a bit in the new book) So I hope I got their personalities right. :) Also I did 1st person which if you guys know me is not something I do a lot. I hope you guys loved it!

PS. So this is totally lame but I figure out when she said the couple sentences about her dad and the circus. Pg 223 for all of those who want to know. I'm kind of insane and had to find out so I did :) Lucky I didn't have to read through the whole book because no offense to Ally Carter but I can't stand it when Josh is in the picture unless Zach is making fun of him :P

-Becca