I'm in Love with My Stalker

By Don David and Sasha Cartwright

A/N As it is listed, this was written with my co-author, Don David. This is our first story together so some of the characters may be a little out of character. Please forgive us our trespasses. PLEASE REVIEW and let us know how we're doing. I know everyone says that, but we can't get any better if we don't know what's wrong. Furthermore, if you must flame, send it to me in a private message. Thank you.

A/N 2 Also, just as a warning, this story was rated with intent. It will get considerably darker in the later chapters. If it's not your thing, you might like some of our later works. You have been warned.

Chapter 1

"Ha ha," laughed Tony Dinozzo, as he walked into the bull pen that Monday morning, a triumphant smile gracing his handsome face, "another successful weekend on the Dinozzo front."

"Must you always share your escapades," groaned Ziva David from her place at her desk, rolling her eyes at Tony's declaration.

"But what fun would that be, Zee-vah?" Tony wondered, making sure to pronounce each syllable of the agent's name.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you to keep some things to your shelf?" Ziva questioned, thoroughly disgusted with the senior agent's antics.

"Do you mean to myself?" asked Tony, grasping slang far more than his Israeli friend.

"Gah!" exclaimed Ziva, "I am fed up with American onions!"

Not wanting to further frustrate his friend, Tony moved on to his next target, McGee, who was presently thoroughly engrossed in his computer screen.

"What's up, McTechSupport?" wondered the senior agent, stopping just in front of McGee's desk and studying the junior agent with interest.

McGee was staring at the screen and barely blinking.

"Are you watching one of those pictures where it's still for a really long time before something jumps out at you?" questioned Tony, waiting a minute before turning to leave, only to spring himself at the younger man.

"Blah!" the senior agent exclaimed to accent his point about the pictures.

To his satisfaction, McGee jumped back at the surprise, his concentration thoroughly broken.

"Ha ha," laughed Tony, content with his success as he watched McGee clutch his chest for a moment before making his way over to his desk, triumphant grin still in place.

"Tony, that was not funny," chided Ziva with a scowl before turning her attention to McGee who was finally regaining some of his color.

"Are you okay?" she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"Yeah, just surprised," McGee assured.

"What were you doing over there, McFreezeFrame?" wondered Tony, sounding more intrigued than concerned.

"That is none of your concern," snapped Ziva, knowing that whatever it was, McGee probably didn't want Tony poking his nose in it.

As Tony shot her an injured look, McGee stated, "No, it's nothing. I've just been talking to this girl..."

"Way to go McDonJuan," congratulated Tony, his mind only hearing "McGee" and "girl", not even bothering to wait for the rest of the story, "but are you sure it's a girl?"

"Tony, please," exclaimed Ziva.

Despite the fact that she was a trained killer, Ziva knew that there were some days where even she had more tact that the senior field agent.

"I'm sure she's a nice girl, McGee," Ziva assured.

"Thanks," McGee said. "She just sent me a picture."

Hearing that McGee had photographic evidence of this McChick, Tony was at the junior agent's side in an instant.

Eyeing the woman with a trained eye, Tony gave a low whistle.

"She looks like a babe, McChickMagnet," applauded the senior field agent, voicing his approval.

"There's just one problem," explained McGee, ignoring Tony's tactless analysis of his possible future girlfriend. "She wants to meet."

"How is that a problem, Probalicious?" Tony questioned, not understanding his friend's lack of confidence, "I thought those motivational CDs were supposed to help for things like that."

"Never mind," McGee blurted, frustrated.

He knew he shouldn't have said anything.

It also frustrated McGee that Tony was so good with women when he had so much trouble.

Then again, the senior field agent did go after anything that was female with a pulse.

Turning back to his computer screen, McGee reread the daunting message that requested a picture of himself in return.

Hearing Tony exclaim in triumph at the game that he was playing on his computer, McGee got an idea.

Pulling out his cell phone, McGee snapped a picture of Tony, who had his legs up on the desk in front of him, keyboard sitting in his lap, and his amazingly bright smile gracing his lips.

Uploading the picture to his computer, McGee sent the picture to allsmiles87 who he knew to be Anna Campbell.

'Maybe Tony could help me with this after all,' thought McGee as he waited for her response.