Hello, First Fanfic here so it isn't much. I hope you like it though.

"No," Arthur muttered to himself. No. Not Merlin. Please, not Merlin!

"I'm sorry," Gwaine said with an unsteady voice as he held back his own tears. "But Merlin didn't make it."

Silence like no other entered the royal hall as Gwaine gave King Arthur the news. All the knights stood listening, each with bowed heads and sad faces. Each would remember Merlin, their friend. And one by one, they glanced up at their King and felt their breathing catch.

There was Arthur, clutching Gwen's hand, crying. The tears spilt over, heavy and silent like rain from the sky on a summer's day. He didn't sob, didn't utter a sound, just stood shakily and asked in a throaty voice. "How?"

"Morgana's men, they attacked us and outnumbered us ten to one. We didn't stand a chance and Merlin…he said he'd make a diversion, said he'd be meet up with us in a few moments. His diversion worked, we all escaped…but he never caught up with us," Percival said as his friend Gwaine was silent now, distraught and wordless for once in his life.

"I see," Arthur nodded. He let go of Gwen's hand, who was weeping in her own sleeve. He walked out the room holding back the tremble his body threatened to inflict. Up the stairs he went, not turning back, just leaving everyone else behind. He entered his old sleeping chambers. It was where he had slept before he'd taken Gwen's hand. When he'd married her, he'd given the room to a very appreciative Merlin.

Merlin's things were scattered about the room. Arthur sat down slowly on the bed, feeling odd. Merlin was his most loyal and trusted friend. Realization of that hit him like a wave on a shore. And he'd never even had the chance to tell him. The last thing he'd ever said to him was "Try not to get lost".

Arthur reached full hysterics. The tears came, the sobs came, and the feeling of loss entered him. He tried to control himself, he was a King, weeping for his servant. But Merlin was more than that. It was as if Arthur had lost a brother, no, a piece of himself.

"Why him?" Arthur asked no one. "Why Merlin?"

Something caught his eye. A floor board, uneven with the others. He tired to ignore, it was nothing. But he stood, shakily walking over to it and picking it up. There was a hole there, beneath the wood, small enough to hide. He was sure it hadn't always been there.

Hesitantly, Arthur reached in, slowly. His hand hit something hard and he pulled it out. It was a book. Arthur stared at it. Why on earth would Merlin want to hide a book? He flipped through the pages and his eyes widened.

This book was of spells and sorcery. It took a moment to digest what he was seeing before he brought it over to the bed, reading it slowly. Surely, Merlin had found it. It could be his. But the more Arthur thought about it, the more it made sense. Merlin had always talked big and delivered. Merlin had always kept his secrets and told his fair share of lies. But it didn't make the shock any less. Merlin, his manservant, the bumbling idiot. A sorcerer?

Surely, he was wrong. Not Merlin. Merlin was good, and kind. Why would he practice magic, it was forbidden!

"Why didn't tell me?" Arthur asked out loud. Merlin must have been frightened of him finding out. Arthur sighed. "I don't know what I would have done."

Arthur looked around and set the book back in the hole, recovering it. He looked around the room again, it felt so empty.

"Surely not all sorcerers are evil," Arthur mumbled to himself. "You were a good person. You stayed loyal to Camelot. So why didn't you just try to explain. You were you, I would have listened." But Arthur just felt like he was just trying to reassure himself at this point.

"You gave up your life for Camelot," Arthur said slowly, his knees buckled and he fell to the bed once more. His eyes traveled around the ceiling searching for something that wasn't there. After a moment Arthur got up once more. He put the book back in its hiding place and stood. "You your life for a King who was ridding the world of your kin. Why?"

Just as he spoke these words, commotion came from outside. He heard shouts and calls, cries and exclamations. He sprung from the room and dashed down the hall. He looked over the railing and there, standing at the bottom of the steps was a crowd of people. They were all speaking and smiling. There, standing in the middle looking very uncomfortable and apologetic was Merlin.

No. But there he was flesh and bone. Arthur stared; he felt hot tears appear once more. He stood there, covered in dirt and small traces of blood. His hair was askew, his face looked worn and tired, but there he was practically unscratched.

Arthur smiled a quick grin of utter relief. Merlin was still Merlin, alive. He whipped away the tears, stood up straight, leaned across the railing and called down, "I thought I told you not to get lost!"

He was answered with a smile, bright and beautiful. "I didn't, just had to take a bit of a detour," Merlin replied.

They held eye contact for a moment. Arthur didn't know it, But Merlin knew just how much he really cared about him. Merlin didn't know it, But Arthur knew of Merlin's sorcery. Neither gave as much away, just a smile.

"Good to have you back then," Arthur said swiftly and then disappeared to find Gwen.

Maybe Arthur learned to appretiate him more...

Ik, not exactly the greatest written work the world has ever known but I hope you liked it!~ Please review if you've the chance!