Chapter 6: Weapon of Choice

A/N Sorry it took so long to update, the real world has been a bit demanding of late. Thanks again for the favourites/subscribes, it makes me very happy to think that people are enjoying the story.

There's a bit of game dialogue in this chapter, because, well, I'm a totally sucker when it comes to Alistair conversations and it just fitted in so well here.

Alistair lay on his side, head propped up on one hand, looking down on Callie. She looked so peaceful, her face smooth, so innocent and free of worry. To look at her now you would never know all she'd faced and all that she will face in the future.

She had woken screaming three times during the night, Alistair had known she had been having nightmares but he'd just assumed that they were darkspawn related. Lying next to her last night meant that he finally heard the words she spoke before the screams and he'd realised that it was the attack on her home that filled her nightmares.

He should have known he'd been so wrapped up in his own grief over Duncan and his brother wardens and then his worry over Arl Eamon that he hadn't thought about how Callie must have been feeling. Her family murdered then the loss of her new family at Ostagar. I'm a bad friend. He'd never even considered what she must be going through. He'd even dumped the responsibility of being in charge of their merry band of misfits on her. Obviously he couldn't be in charge though, that would just lead to badness and no pants, but he should have seen how much strain she was under.

After she'd woken the third time Morrigan had come to the tent and cast some kind of sleep spell on Callie, saying it would allow her to sleep for a few hours without dreams, allow her to rest properly. Alistair was still shocked at that, he didn't think the witch knew the meaning of the word compassion never mind be capable of actually showing some. If it hadn't been for the genuine look of concern in her eyes when she looked at Callie, Alistair would have assumed that Morrigan was tired of been woken up by the screaming and was doing it so she could get some sleep.

Each time Callie had woken Alistair had pulled her tight against him and she'd buried her face in his chest, fresh tears staining the front of his tunic. At some point she had taken hold of his hand as well and now he marvelled at the feel of her fingers intertwined with his.

"Feels, good, feels right somehow" he thought as he stared down at their hands, lifting them slightly, examining how her long slender fingers fitted so smoothly and perfectly into his much larger hands. They both had calluses from their weapons but where his were hard and rough, Callie's were somehow still soft and smooth, you would never know they were deadly hands from looking at them.

He sighed, he knew he should probably get up, it was past dawn now and he had his armour to see to, having left it in a heap outside his own tent last night, and Callie's armour would be in the same condition. When he thought about it he was really hungry as well, he should get up and make a start on breakfast. Callie would probably be starving when she woke up too; both of them had missed eating last night.

Alistair really didn't want to move though, the warmth of Callie's body curled against his, the feel of her hand in his, it was just too comfortable and a part of him really never wanted to move ever again.

Callie stirred and Alistair laid their hands back down. What to do, what to say? She had shown more emotion last night than the entire time he'd know her and he wasn't sure how she'll react in the aftermath or how he should behave. Should I acknowledge it or just pretend it didn't happen and just act like I normally do? Either way I'll come off as an idiot, which idiot is better though? He was still dithering over what he should do when he realised Callie was looking at him.

She gave him a weak smile "Morning".

"Morning" his stomach rumbled loudly. Smooth Alistair, very smooth. "You hungry?"

Callie gave him another small smile as her stomach gave a growl of its own in answer.

Alistair grinned "I'll go start on breakfast."

He let go of her hand, a wistful look flashing across his face as he did and got up. Pushing back one flap of the tent he took one step out and promptly tripped over Shan who had taken up guard duty right in front of the tent during the night.

"Bloody dog" he started to grumble as he landed in a heap on the ground but was shocked in to silence when he heard Callie laughing and it was a proper laugh, not weak or quiet and short-lived like the very few other times he heard her laugh. Sure, it wasn't a full on, starts in the belly laugh but it was still more than anything he'd heard before.

"Breakfasts going to be difficult to make lying on the ground" she said, her head popping out the front of the tent.

"Not my fault. There should be a sign, beware of the mabari or something."

Callie laughed again and Alistair couldn't keep the smile from spreading across his face.

"Right breakfast" he said clambering to his feet.

Maybe it's going to be okay. I just need to be more observant, make sure I'm there for her when she needs it. Watch over her better like I promised Duncan.

Callie watched Alistair start on the breakfast for a minute, a small smile playing at her lips, before closing the tent flap over. He had always managed to make her smile, even laugh a little, ever since she'd first seen him giving cheek to a mage at Ostagar.

When she had first woken she'd watched him for a couple of minutes before he had noticed she was awake. She hadn't known what to say, she couldn't believe she'd broken down like that. What must the others think? How could she lead them when she was so obviously weak?

Callie rolled her shoulders and sighed. Thankfully Alistair had managed to defuse the awkwardness she'd felt with his usual innocent charm but that only took care of the now, what about when she got up out of the tent? She wasn't ready to talk about her family; the storm of emotions was still so great inside her. They were too close to the surface now, she needed to push them back down and rebuild her walls.

She gave a low growl in the back of her throat. Stop thinking about it, too much thinking, always been my problem. Day's activities, let's just concentrate on that, first bathe seen as I never got round to it last night, then breakfast. Not going to think about anything else until after that.

Callie spotted her wash things tucked in the front corner; someone must have brought them up from the stream after Alistair had carried her back here. No don't think about that. She grabbed a clean tunic and her wash things then ducked out the tent. Alistair looked up as she came out and she pointed towards the stream before heading in its direction.

"Did I just hear Callie laugh?"

Alistair looked up to see Leliana coming out of her tent. "Yeah, Shan decided to play the part of a tripwire this morning."

Leliana smiled "I don't think I've ever heard her laugh properly before. Is she alright? I don't want to pry, Callie's always been very quiet when it comes to herself, but if there's anything I can do to help, talk to her maybe?"

Alistair looked out towards the direction Callie had walked. "I don't know, she had something of a bad time before we met you, I guess she's not really had time to deal with it and considering the time we've had since…" he paused then gave a small sigh "I don't think she'll talk, then again I know her mind as much as you do, so she might."

"We'll let her decide then, just carry on as normal. I'm sure she'll let us know when she's ready" Leliana patted his shoulder gently "Now let me help you with breakfast."

"I thought I'd use the eggs that were in the supplies Bann Teagan gave us, because you know if we still have them tomorrow when we move on we'll be ambushed by something, the eggs will get broken in the fight and somebody will end up with raw egg all over their gear. Probably be me, sounds like something that I would do."

Leliana laughed "Sounds perfectly reasonable. I'll grab some herbs, ooh and some of those berries growing at the edge of the trees. Let's make a proper meal of it, seen as you decided we're having a rest day, no need to rush this morning."

Leliana skipped away, humming a happy tune as she went. Alistair shook his head, she maybe a little crazy but at least she was always cheerful. He looked back out towards the direction Callie was but he couldn't see her, he could still feel the small tug that was her presence but he could no longer feel any of her emotions. That was weird; he hadn't noticed when that had stopped. Thank the Maker it had, he didn't think he would have been able to function feeling all that for long, still how could he not notice all that pain and rage was gone? Guess I got a bit preoccupied.

As he went about the meal preparations Alistair found his mind kept wandering to the sight of Callie in his arms, the feel of her skin, the warmth of her body against his. She was so beautiful, he had thought that the moment he saw her, even with the wounds and bruises. There was a hidden softness to her behind her deadly mask, he was sure of it. Ooh cheese, I'll have that. She wouldn't be so willing to help people if she didn't have a good heart. Hmmm, good cheese. Just thinking about her sent a warm pleasant feeling spreading out across his chest.

The sound of Leliana's humming coming back towards him broke into his thoughts and he watched the little red head skipping back towards him.

"So... you're female, Leliana, right?"

"I am? That's news. When did that happen?" she replied laughing and dropped to the ground next to him, clutching what appeared to be her spare tunic filled with berries and herbs.

Alistair blushed "I just wanted some advice. What should I do if... if I think a woman is special and…"

Leliana smiled at him then popped a berry in her mouth "You want to woo her? Here's a good tip: you shouldn't question her about her female-ness."

Alistair felt the heat of his blush deepen "All right, yes. Good point." Total idiot…me.

The laughter shinning in Leliana's eyes softened and she reached out laying one hand upon his. "Why do you ask? Are you afraid things will not proceed naturally?"

He gave her a grimace, "Why would they? Especially when I do things like ask women if they're female."

She laughed lightly and patted his hand, "It adds to your charm, Alistair. You are a little awkward. It is endearing."

Wait…what…awkward endearing? "So I should be awkward? Didn't you just say not to do things like that?"

She grinned wickedly at him, "Just be yourself. You do know how to do that, don't you?"

Okay, I've decided she's evil. Why did I think it would be a good idea to ask? Let's just forget about it, move on. Oooh more cheese, excellent.

"What is this? Our soon to be King has already picked out his future Queen. Do I know the lucky lady? If not I insist you introduce me so that I may properly school her in the art of seduction. As a wedding night gift to you…of course." Zevran's grin was wide and his tone thick with the promise of endless innuendo as he appeared behind Leliana.

Alistair groaned, so much for forgetting about it. "No Kings around here, therefore no future Queens either, what a shame…moving on then."

Zevran laughed lightly, "Ahh, I see. The offer shall stand, however, for in the future." He winked at Leliana, then bent and whispered something in her ear that had her giggling and playfully swatting him on the arm.

Alistair gave a mental sigh. How does he do that? Right, damn it…fine…let's just ask and get it over with.

"Zevran, you've had very many women in your time, right? I mean... you seem like the sort of man who would..."

Zevran smiled lasciviously "I have indulged from time to time, perhaps, when my interest is not elsewhere."

"Right. Well, how do you... woo them? Is there a... technique? Or..." Alistair could feel the heat of his blush again, was it possible to spontaneously combust from embarrassment?

"Woo them? Are you quite serious?" Zevran's smile turned into an all-out grin as he let out a loud laugh.

"Er... yes? I don't know what else to call it." Stupid Alistair, you just had to ask…that spontaneous combustion looking good right about now.

"So let me get this straight. You have... never wooed? Not once? You are woo-less, as it were?" The elf was trying not to laugh too hard but he also looked like he wanted to give Alistair his sympathy.

Alistiar grunted, "All right. Bad idea. Never mind. Look, breakfast's ready, let's get the others shall we."

Breakfast was a fairly lively affair. Zevran spent most of the meal trying to seduce Leliana. Alistair wondered if the variety of lines the Antivan was using were for his benefit after their earlier conversation. Wynne scolded him half-heartedly for leaving more of his holey socks in her pack, although he was sure she liked being able to mother them all. Morrigan appeared to be flirting with Sten, now that was just creepy. No-one mentioned the events of last night and he supposed that was the point.

Callie herself sat next to him, smiling at her friends antics, even laughing lightly now and then at Leliana's smooth put downs to Zevran's chat-up lines.

Alistair watched her from the corner of his eye. Her face wasn't as empty of expression as usual; he could see sadness reflected in her eyes even as she smiled. It reminded him of that first night at Ostagar, when in an unguarded moment he had seen her pain shinning out from behind those eyes. It made him want to put his arm around her, tell her it would be okay, that he was and always would be here for her.

It was all just so confusing. He'd never had feelings like this before for someone and he had no idea what to do about it.

"Tell her how you feel, you might be surprised." Leliana whispered in his ear.

Alistair jumped; he hadn't even noticed Leliana get up from her seat next to Zevran. He looked up at her and she nodded in Callie's direction, smiling reassuringly at him.

"It'll be fine, trust me." She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze then took his empty plate and said louder. "Zev and I will do the dishes."

The Antivan looked up "We will?"

Alistair saw Leliana look at him then Callie before giving Zevran a meaningful look.

"Ah, yes, we will" Zevran laughed "She cannot resist my charm, desperate to get me alone, yes."

Alistair sighed; the two of them were going to make the situation more difficult if they had the chance, or more embarrassing. Although, so far, he was doing a fine job of that himself.

"Alistair, you may as well give me any more of your socks that need darned, seen as I seem to have acquired three already." Wynne said as she also got up, "Bring them over to my tent."

He grinned; he knew if he left enough in her pack she would offer eventually. Ha! What do you know, a plan worked.

"Looks like your scheme worked" Callie gave him a grin.

"How did you…no, never mind, I'm just going to bask in the glory of the plans workiness" Callie's smile sent a flutter through Alistair's heart, distracting him, she was even more beautiful when she smiled. "Though best to get them to her now…before she changes her mind."

He wandered to his tent and started rummaging through his pack. As he pulled out an offending sock he spotted the rose he had picked in Lothering. He was surprised it had managed to stay in one piece this long, admittedly it was starting to wilt around the edges though. Delicate looking but you're a tough one aren't you?...a bit like Callie.

He stared at the pink petals for a while, oblivious to how he must look, completely lost in the flowers softness and beauty. Maybe Wynne would enchant it for him.

"Why are we stopping, there is blight to contend with."

Callie looked up at Sten, the Qunari giant towering above her had a disapproving look on his face.

"It's been non-stop fighting and travelling since Lothering. We need a rest before heading to Denerim."

"Why are we going to Denerim? There are no darkspawn there."

"The supplies Bann Teagan gave us will not last long, we need more and we need to upgrade our gear. You're wearing a mish mash of whatever we've found that'll fit you, Alistair's is barely holding together, to be honest Zevran's the only one whose gear is in a reasonable state and that's because he's only been with us a week. All that costs coin though, which we're not exactly rich in. Denerim will have opportunities to make some." Callie paused and Sten just stared directly at her, appearing unimpressed.

"Do you think the seven of us can defeat the horde and kill the archdemon ourselves? No…we need to gather an army. That takes time and during that time we need food weapons and armour. We can't fight the darkspawn weak from hunger, with our bare hands and wearing nothing but our smallclothes. That is why we're going to Denerim." No need to mention the hunt for Andraste's Ashes, Sten was all one track mind and that track was darkspawn.

Sten nodded once "That is acceptable" then turned and walked away, disappearing behind his tent.

Callie looked over at Morrigan who inclined her head towards her then she too wandered away.

"And then there was one. Something I said or more like avoiding the crazy lady." Callie asked Shan who had sat himself across her feet. The mabari gave a low huff and closed his eyes.

"Such wisdom you have to share."

Callie rolled her shoulders, trying not to think about it all and reached over for her armour. Alistair and Sten weren't the only ones that needed new armour; hers had more damaged areas than whole these days. She really didn't want to part with it though; it had been a present from Fergus on her last birthday.

She remembered how horrified Oriana, she had loved her sister-in-law dearly but she had no clue sometimes, had been that he had thought it a suitable 18th birthday present for a noble woman. But her brother knew her well and she had loved it. It fitted her like a second skin allowing her total freedom of movement and considering the fighting she'd done the last couple of months it had certainly done its job protecting her.

"Where are you Fergus?" she whispered. She refused to believe he was dead, he had been somewhere in the wilds when the horde hit Ostagar which meant he had to have missed the battle. She would find him she swore, after dealing with the darkspawn and making Howe pay, she would find him even if it meant searching every inch of the wilds. I will find you and you will become Teyrn as is right now that father is gone. Howe will pay, they all will, I promise you brother.

"Someone needs new armour."

Callie smiled up at Alistair, grateful he'd appeared in time to stop where her train of thoughts had been taking her.

"I was just thinking the same thing."

He sat down beside her, "Here look at this, do you know what this is?"

Callie looked down at the rose he handed to her. "Your new weapon of choice?"

Alistair laughed and started brandishing his sword arm about. "Yes that's right. Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements. Feel my thorns darkspawn, I will overpower you with my rosy scent."

Callie couldn't help but laugh, the image of Alistair fighting darkspawn with a bunch of roses instead of a sword was just so funny. She could see it now, petals flying, darkspawn discovering they could get hayfever, Alistair yelling "Feel my thorns". It was even funnier than that of him in a dress dancing the Remigold.

"Or you know it could just be a rose. I know that's pretty dull in comparison."

Callie brushed her thumb across the soft petals. "I quite like both descriptions."

"I picked it in Lothering, I remember thinking 'How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?' I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. The darkspawn would come and their taint would just destroy it. So I've had it ever since."

She looked up at him and smiled. "That's a nice sentiment Alistair."

A faint blush flushed across Alistair's cheeks, he looked away briefly then turned back to her. "I thought I might…you know…give it to you. In a lot ways, I think the same thing when I look at you."

Callie couldn't help herself "Because I'm all thorns or I'm a gentle flower?" she teased.

Alistair laughed "A gentle flower. No, I…don't know that I'd put it that way, the thorns thing maybe though" he teased back and his blush deepened as he continued. "With all the fighting and death and such I thought maybe I could say something." He paused and huffed out a breath "Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this darkness."

Callie could feel her own cheeks blush now as she wanted to throw her arms around him and tell him that was the nicest thing she'd ever heard. What is wrong with me? I want to act like some boy-crazed girl! Swooning at the sight of a handsome face and a broad chest. She looked down at the rose then back up at Alistair. Well, he is handsome and his chest is broad and those arms…She remembered the rise and fall of his chest beneath her cheek, the strength in his arms wrapped around her…Stop that, bad thoughts, bad thoughts.

She shook her head slightly, clearing the images of the two of them from her mind and reached out to lay her hand on his "That's a nice…I mean…thank you."

"I'm glad you like it. Now if we could move right on past this awkward embarrassing stage and get right to the steamy bits, I'd appreciate it." His words almost running together as his obvious embarrassment grew.

Callie laughed as his blush spread up to the tips of his ears. I don't think a person can go any redder. "Sounds good. Off with the armour then."

He proved her wrong then, going completely scarlet. Laughing nervously, he slipped his hand out from under hers and scratched the back of his head. "Bluff called. Damn! She saw right through me."

"You're so cute when you're bashful." Callie again can't help teasing him a little.

"I'll be…" he laughs nervously again as he stumbles, nearly tripping in his haste to stand up. "I'll be standing over here just to be…uh…safe. You know how it is."

Callie watched him trying to look like he wasn't fleeing her and smiled again. There was something about Alistair, she felt so safe when he was beside her and it was so easy to be with him. She could almost be her old self when she with him. But she knew the Callie Cousland of old was long gone, there was a darkness inside her now, she could feel it and she wasn't so sure it was taint from the joining that was the cause.

She looked down at the rose in her hands struck once again by the gesture and Alistair's words. I think without you Alistair, I would have gone insane after Ostagar. My need for vengeance is almost overwhelming; they were my family…and without you I think I would have let it do so long ago.