Disclaimer: Junjou Romantica belongs to Nakamura Shungiku sensei, I am just borrowing the characters for my own devious purpose.

A/N: Recently re-read Junjou Romantica and got the inspiration to write this fic. I have always wondered how Misaki would behave if he was more accepting of the fact he was attracted to men (in particular Usagi-san) and how the plot would evolve with Misaki being a conscious participant in the gay scene. In the original Junjou plot, I felt that Usagi-san was short-changed by Misaki's reluctance to accept and proclaim his love for the author. In my fic I hope to rectify that. Right, enough said, here's the first chapter.

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"I love you, senpai." Flowers flutter in the background.

"I love you too, since the first time I saw you…"

The atmosphere is sparkling and both couples hug and kiss sweetly.

Why do the confession love scenes in manga always use flowers and sparkers in the background? And what's with the easy way that the confession gets accepted immediately by the other party, even though they are both guys?

"Here, look at that guy, isn't he weird? He's been squatting there reading BL manga for the past half an hour!" Giggling girls whispered (not so quietly) and pointed at me.

Yup, I'm that weird guy they are talking about. Hey, what can I do when I have limited allowance and lots of spare time? Of course reading manga for free in a bookstore is the best way to spend my time on a Friday afternoon after class.

Hi, I'm Misaki Takahashi, your normal first year high school boy, with average looks, height and grades. I'm so common that if you pass by me on the street you wouldn't give me a second glance. Unless it's got something to do with my not-so-normal hobby, that is, yup, you've guessed it, reading BL manga. I am by no means an otaku nor a pervert, I do other stuff boys my age does, such as hanging out at an arcade, going to karaoke with friends, eating at fast-food joints and until recently, playing basketball in school.

In my last year in middle school, I was still an active basketball club member. I don't remember when it started exactly that I was attracted to the toned bodies of my club members in the changing room more than I was in the porn (with huge, unrealistic boobies) that they sneaked into school. I do recall feeling absolutely nothing when I was invited to a friend's place to watch a foreign x-rated movie. The other boys were panting and a few brave ones were even openly masturbating, but I wasn't turned on by the images on the screen at all. I was more interested in those masturbating, and that was a huge shock to me when I realized what I was doing. Without any explanation, I ran out on my friends and back home in a speed that I have never achieved before. When I reached home, as usual, I was alone as my brother, Takahiro Takahashi,was working. He has been working hard to support the both of us since my parents passed away in an accident when I was eight. It was a good thing, for once, that I was alone at home, for if my over-protective brother saw my state at that time, he would have pursued the reason and I wouldn't know what to tell him. So as not to be a burden to him, I have always kept a positive outlook and not whine or complain about stuff that other boys my age may do. Unfortunately, I don't know how to tell him that his brother, is now gay. I have decided, I will take this secret to my grave.

Of course they say the best intentions pave the road to hell, and in my case, the more I tried to hide my sexual orientation, the more obvious I became. Until about 2 weeks before I was going to enter my first year in the neighborhood high school, I was discovered in the most embarrassing way. That was one memory I wished I didn't remember so vividly. It was a weekend, and my brother was going to work overtime on a project, so after a quick breakfast I prepared, he rushed off to the office. I have been waiting for an opportunity to confirm that I was definitely gay, so disguised in a mouth mask, the type generally used for people who are sick, a pair of sunglasses, a baseball cap and an black jacket, I made my way to a bookstore that's just a bit out of the way of our neighborhood. It's a bookstore that's rumored to not only sell the usual adult books and videos, but also caters to the gay. On the outside, the store looks to be your common bookstore, but if you make your way further into the store, there's this section that I was aiming for. On a Sunday morning, there wasn't any customer in the store. The only person there was the shop attendant at the cashier, who looks like a bored college student on a part time job. I hurried to the shelf where the gay videos were located and was surprised at the variety. I blushed at some of the titles, which not only included 2 men, but with 3 men on the cover (is that what they call a threesome?) and ewww a few videos with animals and men in them…the imagination of some people are just sick. For a newbie like me, I decided to go with a relatively tame looking video with 2 young adults, one of them who were kind of attractive to me. He had exotic ash-grey hair and dark eyes. What really made him stood out weren't only his looks, but his confident demeanor and that arrogant smirk on his face that makes me a little weak in my knees. The other man, a younger one, was cute, but not really my type. I made my purchase at the cashier and quickly returned home, eager to start on the video with the hot guy…eh; I mean my experiment to determine if I was really gay.

There was only one television and video player in the apartment that I was staying in with my brother, and this was probably the only chance I get to use them to watch such a dubious video since my brother out working. I made sure the door was locked, the curtains drawn, a box of tissue located nearby, and started playing the video. The plot wasn't all that great, it was the common teacher-student forbidden love, where the student falls in the love with the teacher, makes attempts to gain the teacher's attention, and succeeds with an exclusive after school detention with just the two of them. The man-on-man action started in the detention when the student seduced the teacher, only to find him being seduced instead. At this scene, I confirmed my sexual orientation that I was 100% gay when I was so turned on I started masturbating to the images on the screen. I was especially intrigued at the process of penetration, as before watching this video, I only had a vague idea of how sex between 2 guys worked. I was so absorbed that I didn't hear the door unlocking or the greeting my brother made to say that he's home. Only the sound of something crashing at the doorway of the living room and my brother shocked gasp of my name finally got my attention.

With dread, (my right hand still on you-know-where) I turned around to face my brother. The panting and gasping sounds on the television continued in the background, oblivious of tense atmosphere in the living room. The look on my brother's face was something I have never seen before. He was blushing so hard his ears were red, his mouth wide open with a look of shock embarrassment. If I had a mirror at that time, I was pretty sure I would look the same.

"What…what is this?"

"I'm sorry onii-chan…I…I just wanted to know…."

With a few deep breaths, he managed to calm down a little. "Just turn off that first, then we'll talk."

I hurried to switch off the video and tidied myself up quickly. We sat in awkward silence, while I gathered my thoughts. As much as I try not to burden my brother, I don't like lying to him either, so I decided to tell him the truth.

"Onii-chan, I know this is hard for you to hear, believe me, it is hard for me to admit this but I don't like lying to you or to myself. Will you listen to me seriously, please?"

He nodded solemnly. I took this as encouragement to continue my confession.

"A few months ago, I noticed that I was attracted to guys, and not at all to girls. I wanted to find out if I was really, well, gay. So I got this video to watch and see if I would be aroused, and as you could see, well…"

We blushed and he coughed a little.

"I don't know what to say, Misaki. I don't know really what to think about you being, well, gay. This comes as a surprise to me, but I guess whatever happens, you will always be the brother I love, no matter who you are attracted to. You have always been matured for your age and I know you try very hard in whatever you do, so if you need any help or have any problems, you can always confide in me. Not that I have much knowledge in this but ah, I mean, ah, just be careful and safe if you ever find someone to be with, ok?"

I was touched at my brother's acceptance, and never expected things to go so smoothly despite the way I came out of the closet. After that embarrassing incident, my brother was encouraging in his own way, as I found condoms and lube in my room one day that no doubt came from him. As I started to observe my surroundings, I noticed same-sex couples around the neighborhood that I have never noticed before. Granted, there weren't a lot of these couples, but they were there, and openly holding hands in broad daylight, unafraid of the views of the society. I took courage from them, and with the acceptance of my brother, I found that I didn't need to hide who I was or whom I like. Although I haven't found anyone in real life that I was attracted too, I was optimistic that someday, I will fall in love with that special person.

It was about at this point of time when my brother found his special someone, and started dating this lady in his office. I was happy for him, though someone else was suffering at my brother's romance, which I had no idea at that time. I also had no idea that one day, I would fall in love with a person who was in love with my brother. Love, as I would find out, sucks.

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Please review, I welcome all comments and suggestions, thank you!