The Doctor left the TARDIS and immediately received a shoeful of sand.

"This isn't the third moon of Pullo!" he complained before noticing two slacked-jawed faces staring at him.

The man peered into the bottle he held. "The rum's not even half-gone and I'm already hallucinating? If that's true, why aren't you a buxom, mostly-naked lass?"

"Excuse you?" the young woman protested. She turned to the Doctor. "I don't care that you're a figment if you can get me off this island and away from the illustrious Captain Jack Sparrow here."

"I know a Captain Jack!" the Doctor said. "Though he's much better with the ladies. And the men. But you've got rum! On a tropical island and all. Let me grab some sugar and ice from my ship. I've got just the drink for you."

"What about rescuing us?" the girl asked.

"Trust me; banana daiquiris always come first."