DISCLAIMER: Ranma and co. belong to Ranma and co. owners. I'm not making money off of this, please don't sue. This is only for entertainment purposes only. The song belongs to Lonestar, and again, is only used for entertainment purposes. Author's Note: This is a Ukyo fanfic. This is not a R/U fanfic. Sorry to dash your hopes about that, but it's not. I don't write those. I'm a R/A fan. This is not a Ukyo bashing fic either, this is actually a pretty nice fanfiction about her that I wrote after hearing the song way too many times. Hope you like!
I thought I could handle this, I really did. But everyone knows that you can play out something in your head, and it will turn out in the most optimistic way possible. You know the dreams where you win the prize no matter what the opposition was? Or, that the Prince would always come for *you* in the end, where the fairy tale was *your* life. That's how I pictured this.
To say the least I was heartbroken and devastated when he asked me. But then again, I could never refuse him anything, and seeing the pleading look in his eyes, I had to agree finally with a smile. He was nervous about asking, and still had so much of a childish way of expressing his feelings. When I agreed, his eyes lit up. He said he was glad he didn't have to go through this alone, that he'd have his best friend there to support him.
Well here I am, and this isn't what I want. Of course then again, when did I ever get what I wanted? I had my sites set on killing my best friend when I first came here, and then I renewed our engagement, in hopes that him calling me cute meant something more. Now? Now I'm best 'man' at his wedding.
Who's he marrying? Need you ask? Really? I don't think there was a doubt in anyone's mind after our last adventure. The look in his eyes as she gasped breath after breath of air, slowly coming back into the land of the living the best way there was---in his arms. As the rest of the group and I watched on, we saw their true feelings finally unfold. Fearful eyes gazing at a hurt, but happy face, faint smile and then the deepest kiss I had ever witnessed in my entire 18 years of living. And as they sat there, finally connecting with one another, I heard shouts of protest (some coming from my throat) with the gasps and cheers. Some were dense enough to think that it was just relief that made Ranma kiss her the way it appeared to be but it wasn't. I knew better. I was his best friend or that is until the wedding vows, even when I saw tears trickling down his face, dripping onto her pale cheeks and mixing with her own.
That spoke volumes.
So it was no surprise to see them enter my restaurant a few months ago, and only a couple weeks after the before mentioned incident. He smiled that extremely boyish smile and she focused on her hands in her lap. I guess she came for moral support, whether it was for him or me, I'll never know. He had finally proved to be a man. He had finally said good-bye to our engagement and to my hopes of being his wife.
I felt sick, even refused several times too ever talk to him again, but like I said, no matter what, I can't deny that boy anything. So basically that's how I got here. It's sort of the way I feel, and from the looks of everything, I'd say it's going to end with a new Saotoma female. I just wish someone could understand what I'm going through. Why do I have to be his best friend? Why couldn't Ryoga stand here and make all nice-nice?
Ranma chooses now to glance over his shoulder, and offer me an impish grin, he's scared. I don't blame him. The bride hasn't made an appearance yet, and some small part of my heart is still hoping that he'll turn to me say he was sorry and put me in the other girl's place. But before I can say anything, my lips betray my heart and give him a soft smile. That was enough I suppose, since he turns away from me again, and faces the stained glass doors as they open and the lucky girl starts the tedious walk up the red carpeted aisle to her future husband.
I want to cry. I want to sit down, curl into a tiny ball and dehydrate myself because of crying. I don't think he'd notice me. I don't think he'd notice if the church started to cave in on his head. His beautiful blue-gray eyes are brimming with child like joy, and were bewitched upon the approaching white 'angel'. After what feels like, at least for me, an agonizing walk, she finally takes his out stretched hand and the ceremony begins.
The only thought raging through my mind is, somebody shoot me.
"What a beautiful wedding!" Kasumi Tendo chirps happily as another guest grins and nods at her statement.
As for me I'm looking for some saki. I don't like the stuff, but I didn't like what was happening at the wedding either, and that still happened. Tugging the stubborn bow tie lose, I head over to another table, where the precious treasure I've been waiting for finally appears. Grabbing a bottle and an empty glass, I wonder around the place until I spot an empty chair in a dark corner.
Running my hand through my hair, I sigh. The band is starting up and decides to let the newlyweds have at it on the dance floor first. Slumping further into my seat, I watch as they move, smile and smirk. They really do look good together. Pretty soon after that, I have my face in my hands, the bottle of alcohol forgotten and sits on the floor near my feet.
Song after song slips by, sending me deeper into a near depression. That is, until I feel a soft poke on my shoulder. Looking up, my face once again betrays me as I smile up at the newly wedded man in front of me. His hand is outstretched, and that cute smile is gracing his handsome face once again.
"Want to?" Is all he says, as he gives a short nod over to the dance floor. With wide eyes, I take him up on his offer. A few of the people that don't know the Nerima gang, whisper about 'two guys' dancing but are quickly are silenced. Ranma turns, the smile never leaving his face, once we're on the dance floor, and wraps his arms around me. I don't hesitate and circle my arms around his neck. It's more of a tight embrace than a dance hold, but who cares.
The song, of course, is slow. It's a Japanese remake of an American band. As the words fill the air, I wonder whether Ranma picked this song on purpose or was it a mere coincidence?
I still remember the night we meet,
You said you loved my smile
But your love for me was like a summer breeze
Oh, it lasted for a while
But when you love someone
You've got to let them go So I'm goin' to smile
Cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can't see me cry
I'm goin' to let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I'm goin' to smile Kiss me ounce for the good times baby
Kiss me twice for good-bye
You can't help how you don't feel
And it doesn't matter why
Give me the chance to bow down gracefully
Cause that's how I want you to remember me. I'm goin' to smile
Cause I want to make you happy
Laugh, so you can't see me cry
I'm goin' to let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I'm goin' to smile I'm goin' to smile
So you can find the courage
Laugh so you won't see me hurtin'
I'm goin' to let you go in style
And even if it kills me
I'm goin' to smile.
Before long, the song ends and the too-happy DJ comes on and says something. Nothing I can comprehend, nothing I want to hear. 'Cause this is probably the last time I'll be able to hold Ranma like this for a very long time. Yet, he doesn't push me away, and Akane...where is she? She would never let this happen!
Peeking through the corner of my eye I see the answer to my question. Ranma's wife is watching with tears in her eyes, which for some reason triggers me to start crying. I clutch the pig tailed man closer to me and start to let it all out on his tuxedo jacket. Never very nice, but what the heck. I don't care if it ruins the rental jacket. I need this. I want this---him holding me for a very long time, even if it's not forever.
And did I say not too long ago, I never seem to get what I want? Why would now be any different from everything else? It's not, and I feel him gently guide me away from his warmth. My head bowed, I'm not an idiot, I don't need to lose face in front of him by showing Ranma I'm not completely thrilled with the idea of losing.
No matter what I tell myself, I soon am looking into his beautiful steel blue eyes. I'm sure I just look oh so cute now with my teary greenish eyes, and red puffy face. It's like he's ending the story, right here, right now. And it's almost as if he's asking my permission to close the chapter on the last two years of our lives-to start a new one, with a better beginning, but I know I won't have the happy ending I want at least not with him.
I know if I try to talk my voice will fail me, or reveal my emotions. So I do the thing that I know will give him the piece of mind he needs to make that new start, to know no matter what I do or what he does in the future, we'll always be there for each other. I arm myself against the tears that will flow freely tonight, and smile at him.
I smile.
It's all I can do, now. He reflects it, and gently and quickly gives me a hug and begins to walk away, back to her. I should hate Akane, but I always knew something would give, and he'd make up his mind sooner or later. I wish it had been sooner, at least he wouldn't have stringed my on for so long.
I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding, and make my way back to my chair. There is nothing left for me to do tonight, he won't need me for the next few days to cook, or to be strong for him. This is great, I can finally break down and cry my heart out, be weak and broken where no one can see me. But for the rest of his reception, no matter what or how much it hurts, I have to be strong for him. I still have to smile.
WHOOAA!! That was inspired by, yup, Lonestar's "Smile" I think it's pretty good considering I'm not a big fan of Ukyo's. Hope you liked it! Ja!