Disclaimer: I don't own Psych or any of its related characters. This is just for my own enjoyment and the potential enjoyment of other Psych-Os like me, and no monetary gain was expected or received.

Rating: T

Spoilers: Through current episodes, particularly strong from Heeeeere's Lassie.

Chapter Sixteen: I Go to the Barn Because I Like the Tab

"You know this is entirely the wrong time for us to be thinking about starting anything," Lassiter said.

"You're right. Entirely the wrong time."

"Both of us are fresh into tough times, emotionally. We need to give ourselves time, let the jagged edges heal."

"You're right. You are so right."

"You're…not going to get off of my lap, are you?"

Juliet giggled and snuggled her face into his shoulder. "Not a chance."

He put his arms around her. "It's not like I really wanted you to," he admitted. "But we do need to take a huge step back and reconsider the wisdom of this."

"Carlton, logic and reason don't always have to dictate every aspect of life," Juliet said. "All right, logically we know that we're both emotionally raw right now. We can reasonably expect that our emotions are going to be a bit extreme for awhile. But for my part, I can assure you that logic has assured me that I have reasoned out my attraction for you and I'm certain that I'm right where I belong. With you."

"And Maurice. Don't forget him."

She giggled again. "How could I leave out our paranormal yenta? Thank you, Maurice," she called out to the room.

Wayne Newton began to sing "Danke Shoen" from the hi fi. "He…does know that means 'thank you,' right?" Juliet asked.

Lassiter shrugged. "I don't think I have any music that says 'you're welcome,'" he said. "A better question would be does Wayne Newton know that it's not pronounced 'donkey-shane?'"

"I'm not going to get into a debate about linguistic integrity in the music industry," Juliet said. "They do enough damage just to English for that kind of discussion to last entirely too long, and I'd much rather debate whether or not we really need to be wearing clothing right now."

"O'Hara, I live in a sentient condominium - and yes, I said condo-minium. I may never get undressed again."

"Oo, good point. Do you think Maurice would be offended if we went to my place?"

"Tempting as the suggestion is, I don't think I'll have much git-up-an-go until this tooth is fixed."

"Oh crap, I forgot all about your tooth," Juliet said. "I'm sorry."

"'Sokay. Wish I could forget it."

"Well, after we get you treated you'll be able to. Oh. I think I forgot to tell you that I got us both the day off tomorrow, so I can drive you. Just in case he gives you something that makes you dopey."

"Like a lapful of Juliet, for instance."

She grinned salaciously and wriggled. "Are you entirely sure your 'git-up-an-go' got up and went?"

"Well…you are proving to be a remarkably effective pain reliever."

"Mmmm, you know I'm starting not to care that the building is watching. I mean, okay, giving the place a name makes it feel a little extra creepy, but it is still a building, right? A home. And the Farrows certainly don't seem intimidated into celibacy by the place."

"I don't think the building uses their music library to talk to them."

"Didn't you say that this…spirit, or whatever…is drawing from you? What did you mean by that, exactly?"

Lassiter sighed. "I'm not exactly sure. I've…uh…done a bit of research on paranormal activity in the past few years, and the bulk of it either makes no sense to me or sounds like complete bullcrunch. What I mean is it all sounds like bullcrunch but I'm willing to keep my mind open enough to say that maybe I just don't 'get' it. Well, one of the things I kind of think I understand is the possible explanation for so-called 'poltergeist' activity. It's supposedly caused by the people who are experiencing the phenomena, subconsciously. Usually because of some sort of severe stress or emotional trauma. I don't know that I really believe it's possible, but what about a place, a place that's experienced decades of just that kind of human emotion from many sources? If that tension could all be absorbed into the structure then over time perhaps it could regurgitate itself, as it were, in these physical manifestations. And maybe they get stronger when they connect with someone who…exudes a lot of tension." He looked sublimely embarrassed to say any of this. "Maybe that energy even starts to reflect a bit of that person's personality."

"A person like you, for instance," Juliet said.

"Yeah, I guess."

"So really, then, if that's true, and it sounds fairly plausible to me under the circumstances, not that I know about this sort of thing, then Maurice is really just you being reflected back by a psycho-reactive mirror."

He nodded slowly. "I question just how little of this sort of thing you know about if you can so casually toss a term like 'psycho-reactive mirror' out there, but, yeah, I'd say I pretty much agree with you."

She smiled. "I may have done a little research about paranormal activity myself," she admitted. "I'd be willing to bet for the exact same reason you have, if perhaps not quite to the same end. In any event, if Maurice is just you then there's really no point in being self-conscious."

"O'Hara. I was raised Catholic. I'm conditioned to feel self-conscious."

"Well, we'll have to work on that, won't we?" Juliet said in a seductive purr. She kissed him. From the bedroom, music began to play.

"Well I'd like to think I'm a mess you'd wear with pride, like some empty dress on the bed you've laid out for tonight. Maybe I'll tell you sometime, time, sometime, and you were right, right, you were right. Outside, on your doorstep, in a worn-out suit and tie, I'll wait for you to come down, where you'll find me, where we'll shine. Outside, on your doorstep, in a worn-out suit and tie, I'll wait for you to come down, where you'll find me, where we'll shine. Outside, on your doorstep, in a worn-out suit and tie, I'll wait for you to come down, where you'll find me, where we'll shine."

"What song is that?" Juliet asked.

"I…have no idea," Lassiter said honestly.

"It…sounds kind of familiar to me."

"Me too. But I don't actually remember having heard it before. And I would be prepared to swear to you that I don't have it in my collection."

Juliet listened for a minute. "I like it. It speaks to me. I think it speaks to us."

"Yeah." Lassiter kissed the top of her head. "You know that things are never going to be this easy again, right? I mean, even if Vick quietly approves, there are Higher Ups who very well might not, so it may not even be her decision. And there's Spencer to think about. Both of them, actually, and probably Guster, too."

"I suppose that's true. But let's worry about that stuff when we have to, okay? Right now, I just want to enjoy being your partner. In all things."

"My partner." A slow smile split his lips. "Always."

FIN