Chapter 29: Of Sin and Honey Part IV

Sin and honey resemble each other. Xion, if you try to escape this sin, all that remains is…punishment.

Marluxia stiffened. This was getting out of hand.

Xion made Marluxia's blood positively boil, so why? Why was Marluxia prone to such fits of jealousy and lust, wanting nothing more than to carve a space for himself in this abomination's body…to corrupt Xion until he could think of nothing else but Marluxia?

He checked the fetters he'd used to fasten Xion down to his bed one last time. The sheets pooled around the smaller male's ankles, which he'd roped to either side of the baseboard so Xion's slender legs sprawled wide and open. His arms were slung over his head, fastened against the headboard with handcuffs.

No one was home, no one would be for a long time. So he could enjoy himself to the fullest. And he intended to. Marluxia's eyes slid over pale bared flesh, pausing at the center of Xion's body.

Xion groaned softly and tossed his head to the side, his shock of inky hair fanning out against the pillow. He'd been blessedly unconscious while Marluxia had bustled around making various preparations, but once everything was completed, there had been nothing for Marluxia to do, except wait. And it was starting to make him antsy.

Now that Xion was coming to, they could start the game. Marluxia licked his lips.

Xion's eyes cracked open and he blinked slowly as his gaze fixed on Marluxia, whose grin took on a malicious edge. Xion scowled. "Why are you in my room?"

Marluxia chuckled. "Welcome back to the living. You're still a little groggy so we'll wait a few minutes before we begin."

A flash of annoyance crossed Xion's face. He shook his head as if that would clear it. "Begin wha—" He froze, voice caught as he tried to sit up and his limbs met the resistance of rope and chain. "W…what the hell is this!? Where am I?" His arms jerked and strained, to no avail.

Marluxia savored the transition between shock, recognition, and horror that overtook Xion in quick succession. It was like watching a flower wilt through a slow-motion photography lens, such a stunning embodiment of tragic, wretched beauty. Xion's panicked glances around the room told Marluxia that he was finally starting to realize the inevitability of his situation.

"This isn't about you and your wants anymore. I've tried to be lenient, but my patience has run out. You were warned."

Seeming not to have heard him, Xion continued to struggle and fold in on himself in turn, like his body couldn't decide whether protecting itself or trying to flee was more important. His shouts choked into sobs, his face reflecting the panic of a cornered animal as his eyes flicked faster around the room. "You don't have to do this."

"Oh, but I do."

"Help! Someone, please help!"

"Oh yes, carry on as long as you like." Marluxia examined his cuticles, looking for all the world as bored as a eunuch in a whorehouse on discount Tuesday. "And by the way? This room is sound-proofed. Not that it really matters. There's no one here, anyway. No one is coming to save you. You're all mine right now."

Xion squeezed his eyes shut, his teeth bared as he grit out a slow, shaky litany of "fuck, fuck, fuck." He smacked his head against the pillow a couple of times.

"I wouldn't move around too much, if I were you. The drug in your system should be mingling with your nerves quite nicely by now. Just let it run its course and enjoy the ride." He reached down to flick the on-switch of the remote taped to Xion's thigh.

The smaller male threw his head back, a shout ripped from his throat as his muscles jerked from the sudden, intrusive sensation. Goosebumps exploded on every inch of him. "Ngh…oh, God…."His body arched at an impossible angle. His vision blurred to blistering white as his skin sizzled with pleasure.

Instantaneous. Delicious.

Marluxia licked his lips, leaning against the wall next to his bed. He drank in the sight; Xion panted and twisted, trembling as sweat began to crust his body like fine diamonds. His voice kept breaking on his hoarse cries.

"Does it hurt? Just put up with it until you adjust." He reached out and dragged his finger down Xion's chest, then lower. "This catheter will allow you to piss, but you can't ejaculate." He pressed down on Xion's hardening cock and drew an enticing whine from him. Marluxia then tapped at the remote with his nails, savoring each flinch. "This sends a weak pulse through the urethra. It stimulates the nerves and forces the penis into an erection. The erection is sustained by preventing ejaculation. It's a device used for those with erectile dysfunction, but … it hasn't been approved in this country yet." He kept his tone conversational and light, even if he had to speak over Xion's heaving sobs. "Despite how much of an asshole you might take me to be, I wanted you to enjoy this too, at least a little. The trouble I went through to get my hands on this though, you have no idea."

"You sick fuck", Xion spat.

Ignoring him, Marluxia continued. "And...you also seem to have adjusted to manhood quite nicely." His eyes took on a sharp, hungry edge.

"No! Don't touch me—ngh!"

You thought we wouldn't go this far. But you're going to learn, you belong in my cage.

He's an abomination.

He's the strongest, most honest person you know.

Destroy him.

Touch him.

Taste him.

Break him.

Marluxia pushed himself away from the wall and loomed over Xion. With a gentle blow, he teased the perspiration that slid along Xion's ribs, making him gasp louder.

"Let me go. You can't…ah…you c-can't do this!" Xion's damp bangs were plastered to his crinkled forehead. He tried to duck from Marluxia's hand when the other male reached out to smooth Xion's hair back. The vibrator's sweet, throbbing pulse rippled through his entire body, dashing his concentration in the most exquisite way. And he hated how much his body responded, how much he craved these echoes of life and pleasure from the last person he should want. This wasn't fair. "Plea…se…"

You're cheating.

Take it all away. I don't want to think anymore.

Marluxia shook his head and sighed. "You're so full of it. Just give into me already. It's painful to watch you struggling so hard. I know you want this as much as I do." Marluxia flicked the hardened flesh again and it bobbed to and fro. The rest of Xion's body, a former pale canvas, was awash with pink. "Pleasure looks good on you."

"You're…insane", Xion gasped. But his control was slipping, even he could feel it.

Marluxia knelt on the bed, poised like a predator about to devour his prey. "Jury's out on that one. Come on, Xion. Admit it. You want nothing more than for someone to put you in your place."

"I…hate this…don't…ah!"

Marluxia gave in to a whim. He bent and sucked at the juncture where Xion's shoulder met his neck, drawing the blood to the surface in an angry purple bruise. He bit down, rolling the sensitive flesh between his teeth and loving Xion's cries, the way his ragged moans hitched as pain and pleasure collided in a storm that swept them both up. He sucked a little harder before releasing the skin with a wet pop. After a lick to ease the sting of it, he drew back to examine his handy work, pleased to know it was in a blatant place Xion would have to struggle to hide. Xion would be reminded of this night for weeks.

Marluxia chuckled. "It looks really good on you." He cut off Xion's retort by jamming one finger inside the smaller male's ass. Xion arched his back further, gritting his teeth to hold back a scream because of the lack of preparation, his puckered ring squeezing and convulsing.

"T… agh…take it out! It hurts!" Hot tears spilled down his cheeks as he thrashed helplessly against the intrusion, his legs trying to close to protect himself but stopping short from their bonds. Xion buried his face deeper into one side of the pillow, muffling his cries. "I'm screwed", he whispered.

"Not yet", Marluxia murmured, rotating his finger. Slowly, slowly he felt a shift in the body below him. "There, now. That's better."

But just as he thought they were finally getting somewhere Xion shuddered, tried again to twist away from the pain and shame that came with exposing himself to his enemy. Displeased, Marluxia jammed his digit in deeper, ripping a noise from Xion's throat that wasn't just pained. He smirked. "Xion, don't fight it. You'll hurt yourself. I don't care if you enjoy this, but I don't want to hurt you either."

"Liar", Xion snarled. "I hate you."

Marluxia crooked his clever finger, cutting off Xion's next onslaught of curses as he plundered the bundle of nerves inside the smaller male with single-minded precision. Xion's mouth fell open in a breathless, soundless scream, his face screwed up in agony or pleasure, it was anyone's guess. His hips bucked and his toes curled involuntarily.

"Found it." Marluxia brushed against Xion's prostate again, harder this time.

"Oh my god", Xion groaned, his body bearing down on Marluxia's finger. He bit his lip and closed his eyes, trying to stifle the pleasure that sparked in his stomach and slowly trickled down to his balls. As Xion really started to get into it though, Marluxia withdrew. A frustrated whine escaped him before he could stop it. Marluxia smiled, which only made Xion lock his jaw harder.

Regarding him, Marluxia snatched a pillow from the beside chair. "Here, raise your hips. This'll make you feel better." He reached for Xion.

"Fuck you", Xion spat. Despite his limited mobility, he still tried to kick out.

Marluxia jerked back. A dark scowl warped his face. His hand, the same hand that had doled out pleasure not moments before, clenched and unclenched as if he was resisting the urge to strike Xion.

The smaller male glared at him through a sheen of drying tears. "You should let me go. You don't have the balls to see this through. You're many things Marluxia, but not a rapist."

Faster than a fat kid at a buffet, his hand shot out and clamped Xion's dick in his fist, ignoring the brat's tortured shrieks. Marluxia's eyes narrowed. With his other hand, he grabbed Xion's chin and forced his head to the side as he bent and snarled into Xion's ear, "It's not rape if you want it. I was born with mine, you little freak, and I promise you, I know how to use it." He squeezed Xion's dick so hard fresh tears sparkled at the corners of his eyes. Marluxia dipped his head and licked both eyes clean with the upmost care as his hand softened, but his tone was no less vicious, at odds with his suddenly gentle actions.

Being jerked around like this was getting exhausting. Xion groaned.

"Now, I said I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't say I wouldn't. If you don't give me what I want…"

The unfinished threat hung in the air between them.

Xion gulped down more sobs and slowly, slowly, his body relaxed, though a fine tremor still ran through his frame.

"Good, that's good", Marluxia soothed. He reached over and pulled a bottle of lube from his bedside drawer. He dribbled the slick clear liquid over his fingers but hesitated a moment. "This…Let me be the distraction you need right now, ok?"

A sharp pang erupted in Xion's chest. No. Not ok. Not fucking ok, at all. Dammit…why was Marluxia saying the words Xion needed to hear? Why was he so fixated on claiming this? And why did it thrill Xion so much?

Because it felt good to be wanted, to exist.

Not wanting to cop to it though, Xion looked away, his entire face puckered in a bitter scowl. He swallowed another groan, his breath hitching as the invasion returned, though admittedly it was much easier to take this time.

"Mmf!" He panted, the tears gathered at the corners of his eyes spilling over again. His whole body tingled from overstimulation. "Uhng…n-no more…please!"

"Oh, my little bird. We've barely begun." Marluxia chuckled. "Just look at you. Even with your cum repressed, you're still on the edge of bursting. It does feel good. You just need to forgive yourself, surrender, let go of your shame and give your body to me."

"Stop talking, you si-sicko." Despite how he protested, the squelching sounds of his body being stretched turned the sparks into outright bolts of pleasure that arced through his very soul. Dammit. Damn him. "Ahh! Unn…ah…huh….ah! Ah…!" Xion's body convulsed as cum surged in his dick but was stopped in its tracks by the device. "No" he whimpered, collapsing against the mattress. He quivered under Marluxia's hands as his tormentor rubbed slow, comforting strokes up and down his thighs. Chills erupted over Xion's flesh.

Marluxia leaned forward and licked Xion's tender earlobe, catching it between his teeth before he spoke again. "Do you want me to make you feel even better?"

Xion's protest was the weakest by far, even to his own ears. "Let me go…"

Marluxia jammed his fingers deeper, opening Xion up more with every plunge. "Three fingers now. You're almost ready."

"How can you be so calm about this?" Xion panted.

Marluxia glanced at him, his surprise obvious. "What makes you think I'm calm?"

"Well you're…your voice and…everything. How you're so focused. It's fucking creepy."

Marluxia laughed, crawling over him to press their bodies together. He was fully clothed while Xion was naked. The rough denim of Marluxia's pants as he ground their crotches together was almost too much for Xion to take. He was so over-sensitized.

Xion gasped and squirmed away as best he could from the hard, pulsing weight of Marluxia's dick. Apprehension and excitement clenched his stomach. He was being swept away again by Marluxia's insistence. God, Marluxia was really going to fuck him, wasn't he?

Marluxia snapped Xion out of his spaciness by sliding down, the zipper and button catching on his pants catching Xion's thighs when he rolled his hips. "Does that feel calm to you?"

Xion swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Where are you right now? Come back to me."

Xion met his eyes, his scowl softening.

Marluxia searched his face for something, then, satisfied, resumed where they'd left off, retreating so he could gently probe back into Xion's body. "Open your mouth", he said after a minute.

Xion wanted to kick himself for automatically obeying.

Marluxia used his free hand to grab Xion's tongue and work it between two tapered fingers. "Look at how responsive you are. The doctor who transformed you was….an absolute genius."

Xion moaned around Marluxia's fingers, his eyes hazy.

"Awe, cute."

Xion's eyes slipped shut and his mind wandered, lingering on the tingles and the fever chills and how, for the first time in a long time, he didn't want to think about anything. Not consequences. Not escape. Hell, not even retaliation against the bastard plundering his very sanity.

Marluxia allowed it this time, because he could tell Xion wasn't imprinting someone else's face over his, wasn't imagining someone else's fingers and body. He just floated while Marluxia explored him, his soft little moans and cries muffled by the pillow.

Suddenly, the pressure of Marluxia's fingers receded. Xion let out an embarrassing whine, squirming at the empty discomfort.

Marluxia smirked down at him, wondering if Xion knew how sexy he was acting as he subconsciously demanded more. Marluxia tugged at the fastens of his pants and undid himself before distributing his weight carefully over Xion's small body again. "I'm going to fuck you now."

Eyes snapping open with sobriety and a blatant taunt, Xion nodded. He even shifted a little to spread his legs wider. "You might as well, since you've come this far."

Grinning, Marluxia pressed a quick kiss to Xion's lips, barely avoiding being bitten before he reached down to guide himself against the soft, twitching pucker. "Relax. I won't hurt you", he said, his voice uncharacteristically hoarse. He couldn't suppress an inner thrill when, again, Xion did as he was told, melting into Marluxia as surely as if he wanted to be here.

Marluxia pressed their foreheads together as Xion shivered. "Breathe", he whispered, not sure if he was speaking more to himself or the boy beneath him. Xion gasped, his body clenching. After an excruciating moment of resistance, Xion's sphincter seized, then sucked Marluxia into his canal.

He sank two full inches before he had to stop. The hot clutch of Xion's body was going to make him embarrass himself if he wasn't careful.

Xion's body broke out in a fresh wave of sweat, his face screwed up in concentration. He kept quiet and drew in slow, stuttering breaths. Marluxia pulled back a little so he was resting on his knees then coasted the palms of his hands over Xion's quivering arms, his neck, his chest. He smoothed the dark hair from Xion's forehead.

"Are you alright?"

"Move already. You're not going to break me", he panted.

Marluxia snorted. Stubborn to the end, huh? Challenge accepted.

The piston of his hips, slow at first, picked up pace as his control was put to the test. Hot and slick inside, Xion's walls sheathed him as if this spot had been specifically engineered for his exclusive conquest. Marluxia wrapped his arms around Xion's middle and buried his face in the creamy collarbone, licking and sucking and marking the flesh at his leisure. He changed his angle, spearing Xion open in a way that drew a long keening moan from him while he carved a space for himself in the other male's body.

"That's it, just like that Xion. Give yourself to me", he said between breathless pants of his own.

Groans dripped from Xion's swollen lips, eventually turning into a babble of broken curses and pieces of Marluxia's name as he got closer. Marluxia was right there with him though. His body hummed like a well-oiled machine, intent on one thing and one thing only.

If Marluxia were his usual self, he'd be damn suspicious of Xion's sudden compliance. But he was completely lost as he plunged in and out, drilling himself deeper and deeper into the pliant body beneath him. He threw himself in the primal rhythm of their bodies. Xion's dick was trapped against his stomach and with each slide of their sweaty hips, he let out more breathless, shaky whimpers.

The only reason Xion seemed to struggle at his bonds now was because Marluxia pushed him to new heights. But Marluxia couldn't worry about that now. Black spots were closing in at his peripherals.

_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_

Fucking Christ. He knew something was fishy and he'd still gone ahead and swallowed the tea anyway. Marluxia thought he was some mysterious big shot but the guilt on his face had been far too easy to read. And yet Xion still drank.

Why?

He was tired. So tired and hurt and he wanted…he wanted something more and hoped, needed, Marluxia to be the one to give him that something, if only for a few moments.

The pit of his belly tickled with pure sensation and fire trickled in his veins, pooling in his groin. He hated it. God, he hated himself and this whole situation. He never should have come back to this disgusting town. But he was here now.

He could no longer think, but one thing was certain. Marluxia, even if he was being a little rough, made Xion feel alive again. Every nerve ending in his body crackled from the expert thrusts. Every press, every kiss, designed for ultimate pleasure. Damn, who knew he was so capable?

Marluxia brushed that spot inside that made Xion throw back his head and see white. He jolted, biting back a moan as Marluxia did it again, this time slow and deliberate."Ngh! N-uh! St..stop! Please stop! I can't take it any mo…Gonna…c..c..cu…ah!"

Xion quaked as the burning rush consumed his center, but again he was denied. He made a frustrated noise, half groan, half sob. "No more…", he whispered hoarsely.

"Take this pain for what it is and remember what will happen should you decide to cross me again." Though his voice was calm and clear, he still panted from the delicious strain of their bodies moving in unison. Marluxia cupped Xion's cheek and turned his face around until their eyes met. "And I think you know by now that this", he gestured between them, "will happen again." His gaze bored into Xion's until the smaller male let out a shuddering sigh and went limp.

Marluxia rubbed his thumb in small circles, his smile devoid of calculation for once. "My sweet little bird", he sighed. For Xion's submission was such an intoxicating thing…

Xion's eyes flew open as Marluxia reached down and carefully removed the device, without even pulling out. Xion glanced back up, silently questioning, and Marluxia's gentle smile took on a teasing edge.

"Feel me, only me, now. Sing for me."

Xion's mouth worked around the words he wanted to say, but couldn't give voice to. He wasn't quite sure if Marluxia was being jealous, or possessive, or prideful. Maybe all three. It was as if he wanted to prove that he didn't need to rely on some stupid device to facilitate Xion's pleasure. He made quick work of Xion's bonds as well.

Sitting up slowly, Xion rubbed at the red imprints on his wrists. "Aren't you afraid I'll try to run?"

"No. Because I'll make you feel so good that you're going to forget who you really are."

Xion wouldn't tell Marluxia that he already was enjoying it, that he'd already forgotten who he was a long time ago. He wouldn't tell Marluxia how he was helping Xion remember. "You're awfully confident in your abilities, for someone who's never done this before."

Marluxia laughed. "I excel in everything I do. Don't you know that by now?"

"Fucking self-absorbed egomaniac."

Marluxia kissed him hard. "I love it when you talk dirty."

_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_

And so Marluxia carried out his promise. With the catheter and his fetters now removed, Xion was free to give himself over to abandon.

God, some of it hurt in a way that wasn't even physical. It didn't feel like Marluxia was kissing him. It felt more like he was being torn open, like after the other male was done with him, he'd just leave Xion here in this sterile, soundproof prison, exposed and rotting.

Marluxia drew two orgasms from Xion before they had to pause again.

The taller male flopped to the side so they were lying next to each other, chests heaving as they both gulped lungfuls of air.

Marluxia stared at the ceiling for a few moments then sat up again, expression set. Xion relaxed, his face serene, thinking Marluxia was just going to go to the bathroom or something but when the mattress dipped he cracked his eyes open. The sheets shuffled against their bare skin and Xion watched him carefully, suspiciously, while Marluxia brushed his fingers over where the flesh had been rubbed raw by his bonds. He pressed soft, slow kisses to every inch of chafed skin.

Suddenly uncomfortable from the intimacy of those simple actions Xion sat up too, testing the range of his freedom with one eye on Marluxia, who drew away. When he swung his legs over the other side of the mattress and Marluxia still didn't move, he stopped.

Marluxia had his back turned to him now, his head bent and his forehead resting in his hand. "Go ahead and run if you want", he said quietly. "But I know, and you know, that you won't. You need this. And that means, for a little while at least, you need me."

Xion made to get up, shifting his weight even though his hips twinged in protest and swaying on the bed to give himself enough momentum to stand. But then he paused, his expression dull as he blinked down at his hands braced on either side of his thighs. "Damn you."

Marluxia chuckled, low and soft. He let Xion sit there another minute before he rose on his hands and knees, gently nudging Xion to lay back down and receive his attention.

If asked, neither was sure how long they remained suspended in their fevered limbo. All that mattered was driving and clawing for that ultimate moment of bliss that sent ribbons of sensation exploding down their spines as pleasure consumed them completely.

In the aftermath, the pleasure burned more bitter than a pill because Marluxia had made a startling discovery that was only reinforced the longer they went at it. Once wouldn't be enough. Xion was inside him now like an infectious disease, eating away at his rational mind...among other things.

Still, Marluxia mused.

You can't run away. Even if you try, your body will remember. Sin and honey resemble each other…so I'll give them to you…forever. If my torment is to continue, then so shall yours. I'll break your wings little bird, if that's what it takes to bind you to me.

He turned back to Xion and sat on the edge of the mattress. Hesitantly, he reached a hand out to brush stray strands from Xion's pale face, tucking them behind such a soft ear as he'd seen him do so many times before.

"Why do you like doing that?" Xion reached up and absently repeated the motion, scraping a few more bangs back to join the hair Marluxia had gathered behind his ear.

Marluxia shrugged.

He didn't have enough energy left to question whether or not this was right, or any of the consequences he knew they were both soon to face. It was not love he felt. He'd never be naïve enough to slap such a tawdry label on this, but what he felt for Xion was something far deeper and uglier and more all-consuming than mere obsession. He was stuck with it, at least until it ran its course. If it ever did.

Marluxia always got what he wanted in the end. Until now. He thought he'd only wanted Xion's body. But now that he'd had him, he was adrift. It wasn't enough to take the other male's body. Marluxia was disturbed by the fact that he wanted Xion to give himself to Marluxia now.

Jesus. He'd lost all perspective.

He needed to put some distance between them. "This is such a bad idea."

Xion rolled his eyes. "Nah, you think?"

He should cut it off right now, just call Saix and have him dump Xion back in his ratty apartment, wash his hands forever of this 'madness', as Xion so astutely labeled it earlier.

Xion settled in again with a sleepy murmur, curling into Marluxia's touch with more trust than he should've been capable of, given his body's abuse.

Marluxia breathed a sigh out through his nose, whether in exasperation or resignation was anyone's guess. "Rest now."

So unguarded in this state, Xion gave into the command without the slightest bit of hesitation despite his peevish mutter of, "you first asshole". Another croaky mumble, he scowled as he tucked one hand under the pillow and left the other to rest palm up next to his head. Marluxia brushed his fingers over Xion's brow, soothing the frown from his face until his breathing slowed with slumber. He moved to stroke Xion's hand but stopped when his touch caught on a knot of raised flesh.

Something was on Xion's hand.

Marluxia gently flattened the smaller male's fingers out so he could get a better look. A puckered scar sat square in the middle. It wasn't very big but it still warped the flesh in an awkward way, obvious enough to be unavoidable to someone who bothered to look. And it could only have come from one thing.

A cigarette burn.

The gnarled tree of scars on his back, gifted to him by his father, pulsed with the ghost of pain.

Xion closed his hand into a loose fist and curled up, tucking the hand over his heart as if the scar was a treasure instead of an old wound.

Eyes flicking up to his face, Marluxia wondered if it'd been self-inflicted or if someone had done it to him.

At the latter thought, a sudden, irrational wave of rage surged within him. It didn't make any fucking sense with as much as he himself had put Xion through. But he was strangely protective now that he'd taken something from Xion that, even if he wanted to, he couldn't give back.

At least Marluxia didn't have to fear retribution from Xion for what he'd done. He knew the score when he first got involved with Marluxia.

Regardless, his temper would be stunning when he regained all his faculties.

Following a selfish impulse, Marluxia gathered the boy into his arms and held that warmth against him, close to his own heart that was still beating like a tribal drum. His inner monologue exploded with insults and castigations.

Swear it—that you'll never call it love! Because if you don't fall, if you don't let it hurt you, the day you'll have to part...when it comes, you won't be hurt. Right…?

Marluxia carefully tucked Xion in again and pulled on some clothes before he moved to sit in the chair by the side of the bed.

The worst part was this, waiting to see how them sleeping together would make Xion react now that it had time to sink in. Terror and anticipation warred inside him. The future was unclear, yet it held at least two certainties for him: violence and betrayal.

But to whom would the violence be exacted against? Himself? His friends? Xion (whatever he was to Marluxia; his mind spun at all the potential titles he could slap on the other male now that he'd claimed him)?

…Hojo? Did he have the balls to protect himself and those he held close? Time would tell who the first betrayer, would be. And violence would come tumbling after.

He was starting to learn that some outcomes happened regardless of how hard he tried to stave off the inevitable.

Scowling, he picked up Xion's textbook from where he'd set it on the bedside table earlier when he was rifling through the smaller male's stuff while he waited for him to wake up. Things were going to change, he could already tell just by how peaceful Xion appeared, snoozing in Marluxia's bed.

Idly flipping through it, he paused when he came upon a verse in Macbeth Xion had highlighted. There, in the dim light, he read:

She should have died hereafter.
There would have been a time for such a word.
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle.
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Marluxia blinked. Reread the passage more slowly. Blinked again.

He spared another glance toward the sleeping figure, his chest rising and falling in sleep's slow rhythm, with not a care in the world.

Right.

Marluxia rubbed his forehead, resisting the urge to kick and scream. Just like the "idiot", he would move heaven and earth to make sure Xion remained serene like this, free from his pain. The rotten little changeling was under his protection now, for better or for worse.

Magnanimity sucked.

Closing the book, he raked a weary hand through his hair and crossed an ankle over his knee. Restless and miserable from his self-deprecation, he shifted and dropped his head into his hands, stealing more furtive glances at the sleeping figure.

Marluxia was struck again by how good Xion looked like that. Too good.

Finally, unable to stand it, he knelt by the side of the bed, pressing a kiss to each of Xion's fluttering eyelids.

Part of him wanted to be pushed away, for the sake of his image. But a bigger part of him wanted to be accepted. Was it so wrong?

Will you stay in my cage, little bird?

You've gone soft, boy. Take care, that you don't step out of line.

Marluxia flinched as Hojo's voice ricocheted around the inside of his skull. Maybe he had. But there was nothing he could do now except go with it.

Xion groaned, his entire body twitching as his dream seemed to shift from pleasant harmony to disturbed nightmare. Marluxia got up, too pleased by how Xion reached for him, even when unconscious, as he made small, distressed sounds. Marluxia settled on the bed next to him and the smaller male instantly fisted the fabric of Marluxia's shirt in both hands, tugging him closer and curling into Marluxia's side. He settled with again with a sigh. Marluxia swallowed, dreading the foreign tenderness that welled up to choke him.

Yes, it was true. He could fool everyone else except himself. What he felt now, so complicated, had long since crossed the border from obsession into…something far more lethal.

He sifted through the passage he had just read, carefully rearranging it in a way he believed was more apropos.

A tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury…. The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle that signified nothing. There would have been a time for such a word. To the last syllable of recorded time.

"Love me or hate me, both work in my favor. If you love me, I'll always be in your heart. If you hate me, I'll always be in your mind", Marluxia whispered.

Love.

No, but definitely something like it.

Strange bedfellows and even stranger emotions. Marluxia shook his head and settled back to await the coming storm. When Xion opened his eyes again would he smile at Marluxia...or would he deny him as he had done so twice already? However Xion chose to react, it'd rock him to his core.

"You're always like this, touching my naked heart with brutal precision." His voice trailed off as the shadows around them crested like a wave that'd crash hard and leave them drowned and empty.

_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_

Xion's eyes fluttered open as he floated back into consciousness. His hands drifted over the bedcovers, searching. He'd had the most pleasant dream but he couldn't remember it. It left him feeling safe and warm and worshipped, though, in a way he hadn't felt in a long time.

Wait.

Bedcovers.

He wasn't in his futon.

Xion shot up, eyeing the unfamiliar room frantically. Then he froze when he caught sight of Marluxia, who sat in the bedside chair. Everything came flooding back in a dizzying, crushing rush.

The drugging. The kidnapping. The weird bondage and that awful E.D. device. God, they'd fucked. And Xion had loved it.

Marluxia watched him without blinking.

Xion realized Marluxia was waiting for him to say something. He sat up, turning his back on Marluxia and massaging his sore wrists as he thought of what to say. What could he say? Fuck. He wanted more. He wanted it again. It galled him that Marluxia had been right. His total surrender to the other male had been so intoxicating though. But he couldn't just say so outright…could he? No. He gathered the last vestiges of his pride and took a deep breath as he tried to shake it off.

"Why won't you look at me?"

Xion flinched. "No reason."

"Then allow me to take a guess."

Xion could practically hear the sly grin in Marluxia's voice. "Oh? You think you know me so well."

"Yeah."

"Yeah, right."

Marluxia let out a low chuckle. "You look away because you don't want me to see the desire on your face. Desire for me. Desire for what I can do to you. Again. Tell me I'm wrong."

Xion stood suddenly, locking his knees to stop the humiliating way he wobbled. He refused to acknowledge the tremble in his limbs as he went about pulling on his clothes, which rested near the foot of the bed in a clean, neatly folded pile.

"You liked it", Marluxia continued.

Xion glared hard at the carpet as if blaming it for his inability to offer up more of a fight. "No I didn't…" He cast around for his backpack and found it next to Marluxia's feet. His textbooks were stacked on the bedside table. Xion swallowed, realizing he'd have to move closer to Marluxia to get his stuff back.

The scary part was, that bothered him more than the idea of Marluxia rooting around his stuff.

Marluxia snorted. "I call bullshit." He rose to his feet as well, closing the distance between them so fast it left Xion breathless, using his size to crowd Xion against the door. They stared at each other for a moment. Then he dropped to his knees to nuzzle Xion's blatant hard-on that tented his loose pants, stunning the smaller male as surely as if Marluxia had punched him.

"See?" He laughed as Xion's dick jumped against his cheek. "Hello, Mr. Happy."

"Don't talk to my dick, you fucking creep." Pushing Marluxia's hands away, Xion buttoned his shirt up and gathered the rest of his stuff together. "I wasn't in control because you drugged me. So fuck you. You're sick. I did not enjoy it." The lie was weak and they both knew it. "Last night", he shook his head. "It's not gonna happen again. It was a one-night stand and that's all. You got what you wanted. So I'm free, got it? That was the deal." He left the bedroom, ignoring a nervous ripple that chased down his spine as he heard the shush of socked feet on the carpet behind him. When he reached the front door he yanked it open but paused in the doorway, glaring over his shoulder. "Got it?"

Marluxia leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. "Whatever you say, sweetheart."

The flush of happiness that rose in Xion at the pet name was completely fucking ridiculous. Yeah. No. It was time to go. Xion let out a disgusted noise and stormed down the swanky hall toward the elevator. He couldn't leave Marluxia's flat fast enough.

Lips quirking, Marluxia took his time as he made his way back into the living room, pouring himself a snifter of brandy before reclining back on the couch with a satisfied sigh. "That's what you think, anyway", he said to the empty room. "There's no way you can run from me now."

_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_

When I woke up from the laced tea, I didn't recognize him at first. He was aggressive and greedy for my body in a way that he'd hinted at before, but I had no idea the depth with which he wanted me until we finally did the deed. All at once he took me, seeming effortless with the way he ignited the nerve endings in my body as he swallowed me whole. At first I thought his fixation with me was like a kid with a new toy, but the feel of his hands, the hunger in his eyes was deeper than that. Maybe it's my own desperation talking. Maybe there's nothing more to it. I don't know what scares me more: me looking for something deeper, or the possibility that it actually exists.

Xion put his pen down with a shaky hand. He folded his arms and pillowed his head on them while the music crooned to him about broken hearts and new starts. He was alone in the dimly lit apartment and Axel's absence should've at least stung.

"What the fuck is wrong with me", he groaned.

Love, his iPod sang.

_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_

The rain had stopped and Roxas sorely wished it hadn't, because it left them suspended in a silence more unbearable than death. They sat across from each other, Axel with his head tipped back and eyes closed like he was napping rather peacefully. But Roxas knew from personal experience that he did the whole 'pretending to snooze' thing when he was stuck in a jam and trying to think.

For his part, Roxas drew his knees up to his chest, propping his head on his folded arms.

A knock came at the door. Roxas shot up so fast he made Axel yelp as he tipped over to avoid being trampled. "Finally. Get us out of here", he hollered.

A sigh. "I really thought you boys were smarter than this."

Screaming himself hoarse, Roxas kicked the door as hard as he could, feeling the wood give around where Zexion must have been leaning on the other side. A taunting, cheery jangle of metal keys was his only answer.

"Let us out…" He hated how small his voice was as it cracked around his plea. Placing his palm to the door, his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Zexion, please. It's getting so cold in here." The stubborn act wouldn't be worth it if they ended up dying from hypothermia in this stupid, godforsaken shed.

"You've got to do something for me first", Zexion said.

"…what?"

"You haven't told him yet, have you?"

Stiffening, Roxas glanced behind him. It didn't seem like Axel had heard the smarmy bastard. His eyes were closed again and he was back in the same position he'd been in before. Roxas blew out a relieved breath—

"Hey, Axel, don't you resent the déjà vu that plagues you all the time? You know something isn't right, don't you?"

"Zexion", Roxas warned.

A laugh; short, cruel. "Axel, blondie has something to say. You should probably listen carefully if you don't want to spend the rest of the night in this deathtrap."

Axel cracked his eyes open, tilted his head around, blinked slowly as if in a daze. "What are you babbling about, Zexion?"

"Don't listen", Roxas urged. "He's just trying to mess with you."

Axel scowled at the door behind Roxas.

"But Roxas, aren't you his one true love?", Zexion sneered. "Xion was just being a shit and snatched you away after your accident, Axel. And Roxas, pussy that he is, didn't fight to get you back."

Axel paled and flicked his gaze between the door and Roxas, who had his head bowed with his bangs falling over his eyes.

Another laugh; louder, colder. Zexion didn't laugh often, around anyone, but Roxas could tell he was genuinely amused by this situation. His bloodthirsty sense of humor made Roxas's stomach turn. Or maybe it was the look Axel pinned him with, a look that burned a hole right through his heart with its intensity.

Roxas's temples pulsed with an oncoming headache. God, please no…he couldn't handle this today. How much more of this shit could he take before the universe was satisfied?!

"I'll just leave you two alone then. Blondie, the rest is up to you."

"What does he mean, Rox", Axel said quietly. He traced a random pattern on the dirty floor but made no further moves, like he was afraid if he went too fast, it would spook Roxas away. But they were trapped in here. Together.

Roxas took a deep breath and reclaimed his previous spot on the floor, across from Axel.

The redhead's glare was almost accusatory. He looked away again as his face, his body, radiated exhaustion and sadness. "I think it's time you gave me some answers Rox. No more running."

Roxas rubbed his face and heaved a sigh. "I don't want to do this…"

"Bullshit", Axel snapped.

The profanity was harsh and abrupt, shocking him as much as if he'd dealt Roxas a physical blow. Roxas drew in a stuttering breath, the cold air stinging his lungs. But the cold wasn't why it seemed suddenly hard to breathe. God, they were really going to die in here. But they were going to do this first. And it would hurt.

He was suffocating.

Axel crawled closer, his heart thudding in his ears as he cupped Roxas's face. "I think...", he started, but then he hesitated.

"You think...", Roxas prompted, when the breathless silence stretched for too long.

Axel licked his lips. "I think…answers are lying in the blank spaces where my mind has chosen to forget some memories, good and bad. My mind buried them in this bottomless, hissing static. Just banished them somewhere beyond my reach, while I'm awake at least. But then they come back to haunt me in my sleep. I've got to get them back. And I know you can help me because…you're one of them."

Roxas flinched.

"No, no", Axel hastened to correct him before he jumped to any conclusions. "I mean, you're one of the good memories. One of my best. You feel like home."

Roxas's throat ached from holding back tears, which is why he could barely get his next words out. But he pushed on because they were in too deep already. There was no turning back. "If I am as important as you say, then why did you forget me?"

Axel reached out to cup his cheek.

Roxas no longer had the strength to shy away from his touch. He was if he wanted to give in to a moment of weakness and draw strength from Axel's touch—like he hadn't been able to do for so long—then he had every right, god dammit.

"I thought I missed someone who isn't mine to miss", the redhead murmured. "I dreamt of someone who isn't mine to dream about. I loved someone who isn't mine to love. But that's not really true, is it?" Axel's voice took on a sharp, desperate edge as he urged Roxas to give him answers, holding Roxas's bony shoulders in his large, pale hands, squeezing so tight it hurt, as if Roxas was his only anchor against the storm that must be raging inside him at this very moment. "Is it?"

Roxas could see the turmoil as it boiled under Axel's surface. And it broke his heart. Axel seemed exposed; his face slipping, drawn and lined, a mask much older than he really was, all except the eyes. Those cat-like green eyes were still bright and predatory, with a glint of something not quite sane lurking just beneath. Those eyes proved he was still Axel, that traces of laughter could still be drawn from him. And he wanted it, oh how he wanted it; Axel hungered for laughter like a starving man hungering for a hunk of bread and a kind word.

And Roxas wanted to give it to him, all of it, no questions asked. Wanted him to be happy and as close to whole again as people like them would ever get.

But there were things to take care of first because Axel was a wounded shell of his former self, and it had nothing to do with the car accident. God, what had he done? He should've fought harder…

Axel swallowed, drew back a little to give Roxas space. He must've realized he held Roxas's shoulders in a vice grip because his hands relaxed into a soothing massage, kneading, melting away the stiffness in Roxas's body. "I can't ever see the face, but I know you, and I shouldn't. Because God help me, I don't cheat. So tell me why… please, just tell me why…"

"Because, you were mine. And you were taken from me…no. I let someone take you away from me because I thought it would be the best thing for you; to be surrounded by your friends and Xion, who knows parts of you I will never be able to touch."

"I know this" Axel whispered. "I know this in my bones." He scowled and opened his mouth. Shut it again. Opened it, tried to work his jaw around the question he so desperately needed to voice. Frustration obvious, he shook his head and slapped both cheeks twice, hard, the abrupt noise of flesh on flesh in the empty space effectively startling a rather undignified squawk out of Roxas.

"Are you ok…?"

"Fine. Just fine, I'm fine."

Roxas snorted. The two angry red handprints blooming on each of Axel's lily-white cheeks sure attested to that.

Axel took a deep breath and Roxas's stomach clenched. "But then how? Why? Didn't you love me? Did I do something wrong? I'll fix it, I swear."

Roxas startled them both by barking out a harsh laugh that cut off far too quickly. "I'm a fucking moron. I never should've believed you! I took the road less travelled in life…now I don't know where the fuck I am, and it's all your fault! You led me here and then you left me!" He snapped. That was the only word for it. He could actually hear the sound of his soul splintering from all the pressure that'd built up inside over the past few months. "If my absence didn't affect you, my presence never really mattered in the first place, did it? If I'd known it would be that easy to forget me… for me to fade from your memory just like that", he snapped his fingers, ignoring Axel's flinch as he continued, "then I would've hit you with that damn car myself when we first met so I wouldn't have to go through this hell, so I wouldn't have to watch you holding someone else's hand, so I wouldn't have to think about you in someone else's arms every night."

Axel went a few shades paler, his eyes wide as saucers as his hands drew off Roxas's body to hug himself.

Roxas felt sick as he watched a few years drain from Axel's life. Fuck, he needed to stop this. But it was too late. Fuck him, fuck all of them, it was too late.

"But…I didn't, not really. Aren't you listening?", Axel whispered hoarsely.

"Yeah, but all I'm really hearing is: 'I'm giving you a taste of your own medicine and you're saying I'm poisoning you. You ignored me and treated me like I didn't exist. So when I'm at the point where I've resigned myself to giving you up so you'll be happy, when I'm finally starting to move on, you're begging me to let you reel me back in again. But all I want to do is treat you like you've been treating me. I can't keep fucking doing this. I'm tired of fighting. For once, I want to be fought for."

The words left him in a dizzying rush, like a balloon deflating too fast.

"You said you like storms, that you could handle mine no matter what, so I let you in. Turns out you can only handle a little rain. And I am the fucking hurricane." He palmed his eyes and grit his teeth. "Dammit…I promised myself I'd let you remember by yourself. I promised myself I wouldn't tell you anything…but my brain has no heart. My heart has no brain. That's why when I speak my mind I seem heartless, and when I do what's in my heart I seem thoughtless."

And then the first part of what Axel had said sunk in. He hadn't forgotten, not completely. Roxas turned ashen.

But the sheen of his skin had nothing on Axel's. "Why do I know that you're telling the truth?I know the smell of your hair and the sound of your laughter and the taste of your skin…" The cold intensified like it was trying to force them together for what little warmth their bodies could offer each other.

Roxas stared up at him, eyes wide and terrified an instant before he moved, gripping the hair at the nape of Axel's neck and crashing their mouths together.

Axel laughed without mirth against Roxas's lips, if only to keep himself from crying as he threaded his fingers through Roxas's flaxen spikes and dragged him into his lap. It was not kind, nor gentle; their lips smothered each other, teeth clicking, nipping, and Roxas sucked in a ragged gasp as he pushed weakly at Axel's shoulders. But Axel only pressed closer, his tears tainting the kiss further as he cupped Roxas's face to keep him close, keep him still while he took what he needed.

When Axel drew away, it looked like he was seeing the blond, really seeing him, for the first time in a long time. A small bead of blood welled on Axel's bottom lip. The wicked coppery taste mixed with the sweet natural taste of his tongue, making Roxas nauseous.

And Roxas, fucking Roxas in all his hurt and all his rage, drew back and smacked Axel hard.

Axel gasped, the force of the blow driving his back against the frigid wall of the shed. He sat motionless in shock for a moment before letting out a savage curse.

"That's how it fucking felt", Roxas cried brokenly. "That's how you made me feel. Fuck, that's how it felt before, even, with all of the horrible shit Xion did to me, and you just sat there blithely and let him, staring right through me like I was just some nobody to you. And you know what? That made you worse than him. Worse than the punches and the…the stealing and the cruel names, when Xion sicked Marluxia on me. They were so bad to me—so, so bad. And I was alone. I don't have a circle of friends I can fall back on in this school. Not like you. You were my only one. I shouldn't…shouldn't trust, I can't. Don't you fucking dare", Roxas hiccupped and internally cursed himself for it, "do that to me again."

All of the terrible, overwhelming emotions left Roxas in a flood when he met Axel's stricken gaze. He didn't have the strength to move from Axel's lap, cold and stunned by his own actions, yet tilting his chin up in a silent challenge as Axel took him in, expression revealing how ashamed he felt at betraying Roxas in such a cruel way.

He reached up, hesitant, then cradled Roxas's cheek in his big hand.

Roxas closed his eyes, turning his face to press a kiss into Axel's palm. "If you ever", Roxas said, soft and low, the words spilling out as naturally as if he'd rehearsed them many times, "do something like that again or suggest this relationship isn't real in any way, I will make you regret hurting me. So, you need to tell me now…" He hated himself for the sob that escaped his constricted throat. "If you don't want this, if you don't sincerely…" Roxas struck another blow knowing Axel could take it.

Would take it. For all he'd done to him.

Now it was Axel's turn though. True to his form, he bounced back far too quickly and laughed, though it came out more like a desperate wheeze. Axel moved faster than Roxas could register, digging his nails into the pliant tan flesh at the back of the smaller male's neck as he hauled Roxas into another kiss just as savage as the first.

In the dark and the cold, their bodies heated up together and Roxas couldn't tell where he ended and Axel began, they were pressed so close. Hands pushed under sweaty shirts to grip at skin like they needed the contact to survive. Roxas let out a moan when Axel worked at the top buttons on Roxas's shirt so he could feast on the tender dip between that beautiful collarbone. He sucked hard and Roxas threw back his head, letting out small noises of agony and pleasure, clutching Axel to him. They trembled with such intensity, Roxas feared they might both fly apart, molecule by molecule, if they didn't cling to each other like this.

They were loath to part again, but air was a necessity. Both their bottom lips were split now from the rough, frantic embrace.

Axel's expression was a heart-wrenching mix of lost and dazed. But then his eyes turned steely and he leaned back in to rub his nose up Roxas's smooth cheek. "I do want it," he said, his voice firm and hungry. "I want you. I want us. I know you still don't fully trust me, and you might never again because of my inaction. But I want you to know, I'm sorry, more sorry than you'll ever know. I will keep you safe this time, I swear."

"Gee, where have I heard that before?" A crooked smirk softened his barb.

Relief swelled in Axel's chest. "Just tell me what you need from me, and it's yours. I know it's not that simple but…" He floundered.

Roxas quieted him with a soft, chaste peck. Though Roxas nodded and smiled on the outside, inside he was a mess. His head was spinning. Was this really happening? Were they really going to try this again?

"But," Axel added sharply and Roxas's eyes widened at the sudden fierce edges in the taller male's face, "if you ever lay a hand on me again without me physically provoking you, which I will not as you are precious to me, I will make you regret it, just the same."

His burgeoning elation fled. Feeling hollowed out and sick again for striking out as he'd done, Roxas nodded. "I understand, I'm...sorry."

Axel pecked him on the nose then pulled him into a crushing hug, dipping his head to breathe Roxas in. "We'll be ok. I swear, we'll be ok."

Fuck the noble path. He wanted Axel back dammit. He'd eased off because he'd thought it was for Axel's own good, to be with the one he'd loved first. But he'd clearly been suffering and it was unfair for Roxas to lay all the blame at his feet. Every atom in his body wanted to roar with victory. There was something Xion couldn't give Axel after all, not when their new relationship was built on false pretenses, despite the strength of their foundation before.

"I keep saying I won't run."

"But you came back, just like you said you would. That's all that matters. You'll always come back to me."

Axel's mouth worked helplessly, like it was struggling.

Roxas held his breath, willing him to say it…willing him to remember.

"Bring on the rain…" He looked lost and confused again, and his mouth seemed to speak without his consent or control.

Roxas collapsed into him, whispered into his ear, "Bring on your hurricane." Roxas could almost feel the change in Axel as all the pieces ground against each other before slipping into place with a neat little click. Then it all came back to Axel in a flash, everything about Roxas. Everything about himself, and everything about them together.

The crash.

Then he'd woken up and Xion's face swam into view.

Fuck…

He turned to Roxas with a terrified expression, his body tight. He managed to push the smaller male off of him just in time before he hunched over and shrieked as if his soul was being ripped out through his throat. He gripped his head with white knuckles, tugging at his hair. But Roxas wouldn't be deterred. Not at this tender stage in the game. He rubbed circles against Axel's back as the redhead curled forward onto his knees, whispering soothing nonsense.

Axel puked.

Still, Roxas wouldn't shy away. He held Axel's hair and sobbed with him as they both healed.

_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_

Zexion understood everything transpiring on the other side of that door. What they didn't know was that he'd set up a few cameras and a microphone in strategic places around the shed, watching the whole thing from his phone the entire time. He smirked, realizing this would've never worked if Roxas hadn't delivered the final stroke.

But he'd performed beautifully, without even realizing he was being manipulated like a chess piece. If he didn't have any knowledge of cognitive recalibration, then he had one hell of an instinct. Zexion unlatched the door and set Axel's phone on the ground where they'd be able to find it easily enough, locking the screen so when they picked it up, they wouldn't realize right away that it was calling Xion.

By the time they got out there, it'd be recording a voicemail. A rather long voicemail. And Xion would know everything.

_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_

When he'd finally managed to get Axel cleaned up, Roxas slung one of Axel's long arms over his shoulder and hauled him up so he was half-standing, half-leaning on Roxas. Roxas let out a grunted curse as they slipped but with a little more of Axel's help they staggered to a stand again.

Zexion, that fucking bastard. He knew he was safe for now because Roxas wouldn't, couldn't, leave Axel alone, not in his state, not when they were finally back together. As he thought, by the time they finally got out into the open air, metallic with fresh rain on concrete, Zexion had vanished.

They could team up and kick the shit out of the bastard later.

"Maybe it's true that we don't know what we have until we lose it. But it's also true that we don't know what we're missing until we find it", Axel croaked.

Roxas couldn't help smiling.

_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_o_

"Sora, my love", Riku said, concerned when the boy ignored him in favor of hunching over his desk and typing furiously at his laptop. "What are you doing?"

"Homework", Sora mumbled, eyes clouded over.

Riku stepped up behind him and thumbed his shoulder blades. But even that didn't get Sora to pause what he was doing. "What's this report for?"

"Art history."

Riku smiled. "Gotta say babe, I'm proud of you. You've really come a long way and—" His praise stuttered to a screeching halt as he perused a line in Sora's essay.

"Yeah, of course I can paint your ceiling", Michelangelo scoffed to himself. "Gonna paint a bunch of dudes with their dicks out on it though."

"Sora!"

Sora jumped and looked up at him, the perfect picture of affront. "What'd I do?"

"Are you seriously thinking about turning this in? For a grade?"

Sora shrugged and went back to typing. "Why not? I clearly can't count on you for help, can I?"

Riku drew back, stung. "I didn't mean it like that when I said you had to do stuff for yourself. When you ask me for help, I usually end up doing most of it for you."

"Because you're such a perfectionist", Sora pouted. "If you showed me where I could get good sources and let me put it in my own words, I'd hate homework a lot less. But you don't think I'm good enough."

"I never said that", Riku sighed, voice small. "And the sources…that's what writing a research paper is all about. Some things you have to do alone."

Sora continued to type a few more seconds then stopped. But when he didn't say anything and kept his face trained on the laptop screen, Riku sighed and turned to go.

So he was still mad, huh? Was Riku doing the right thing by not babying Sora as much anymore? He couldn't do everything for him, right? But he hated how down this was making Sora—

"What if", Sora ventured slowly.

Riku paused mid-step and they turned simultaneously to face each other.

"What if", Sora said again, "You let me write this, then help me edit it? That way, I can still do the work and you can still get off on being perfectionist-guy." He tossed Riku a lopsided smirk to take the sting out of his words.

Riku swallowed then laughed, rubbing his forehead in relief. "Yeah. Yeah, that sounds…great."

Sora's smirk softened as he pulled a chair up next to his and Riku plopped down into it.

They passed a few hours this way, ignoring the rain tapping at the windows. Both were focused so intensely on the laptop screen that they jolted out of their respective chairs when a harsh rap sounded at the window.

Zexion stood there with his usual blank expression, one hand pressed to the cold glass. When Riku and Sora edged close enough, they could see him pointing down the way to the shed nestled at one corner of the campus. Then he stepped back, tucking his hands in his pockets and walking away.

Riku and Sora exchanged a glance then hustled out the door and into the rain, Riku popping open his umbrella and pulling Sora close. When they got there, they found Axel and Roxas both in a sorry state and looking rather the worse for wear. Sora rushed to help Roxas because he was starting to sink under Axel's weight again.

"Omigod, what happened to you?"

"It's about damn time, guys. Help me get him inside."

"No…no, I'm ok", Axel mumbled, scrubbing his face with both hands. "I'm ok now." To prove it, he stood up straight on his own legs.

"Goddamn, man. I could kiss you", Roxas wheezed, his voice laden with relief.

Baring his teeth, Riku yanked the brunet back by his shoulder. He placed himself between them as Sora laughed.

"I wasn't talking about Sora, you jackass. Calm down. I was talking about Axel." He winced as he rotated both shoulders in turn.

Sora looked between them, confused. "But I thought—"

"We'll explain everything later, I promise. Just…not right now."

Sora nodded.

Riku noticed a phone resting on the ground, the mic end pressed to the crack under the door. He stepped away from Sora and, scowling, scooped it up and turned it around in his hands. A little wet, but not ruined. It looked like Axel's.

"So…" Riku ventured, "Are you gonna tell us what happened, or what?" His expression sharpened as he took in Axel's open, relieved expression, as if he were really seeing the world clearly for the first time after too long spent in darkness. Riku let the question drop at the didn't-I-just-fucking-tell-you look Roxas shot him and handed Axel his phone without another word.

Axel pulled a face at the mud smeared all over it. He tapped the screen a few times.

Riku snuck a peek around his fingers and watched as he went about ending a call with Xion that the phone had been idle in before he checked for any new messages. When Axel caught him looking, he moved his phone out of Riku's line of sight.

Riku shrugged and held out his arm as Sora walked up to tuck himself into the taller male's side.

"Would you believe those bastards Zexion and Saix did this to us?" Axel muttered. He reached for Roxas's hand, pleased when the blond didn't pull away. "I'm sorry you got caught in the middle of all this."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "It's whatever. Don't worry about it." Despite the noncommittal words, his tone spoke volumes. He was just glad Axel was back. His Axel.

Sora's eyes bugged but Riku's expression narrowed. He glanced at Axel and only needed one look to confirm it. He grinned at the redhead, though Axel didn't seem to share his enthusiasm, instead sending him a queasy smile in return. Well, it was about damn time.

Sora, being Sora, was the only one who hadn't noticed the change in Axel yet.

"So where's our umbrella, you jerk?"

Riku held up one finger. "Wise man say, a good friend will offer you an umbrella in the rain, a best friend will steal yours and say, 'Run bitch, run!'"

Axel sighed. "Ok then, point taken."

Then he lunged, Riku feinted, and for a moment all was right with the world as they splashed around in the rain.

As Roxas explained to a rapt Sora, that no, penguins did not, in fact, have knees, Riku snorted, nodding to himself. About damn time, indeed.

Roxas and Sora watched them with amused expressions. The boys tired themselves out after some time and when Sora began whining about being too cold, the foursome walked back to the school to get their bags and head home.

Axel and Roxas strayed behind and Riku let them, dragging Sora on ahead despite his protests.

When they were a fair distance away, Axel bent and whispered into Roxas's ear, "…I'm bad at understanding romantical things unless people are explicit. Like, seriously, don't drop me a hint. I'll just pick it up, dust it off, and hand it back to you without realizing it was for me. I'm so sorry, baby."

Roxas squeezed his hand. "Stop saying sorry. It wasn't all your fault, you know. I should've tried harder to get you back too. You've been so stubborn lately that your heart has had to have an argument with your head every time it wants to beat. And I think that might be punishment enough…" Roxas shot him a mischievous smirk, all dimples. "Of course, if you're feeling an abundance of guilt", he rose on his toes and ran his palm lightly down Axel's crotch as he whispered, "we can always work something out…after you brush your teeth, of course."

Axel shivered and didn't even bother to make sure if they were being gawked at or not. He scooped Roxas up. Laughing, Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel's neck as the taller boy spun them around.

"I can't wait." And with no more warning than that, Axel began to sprint home. His real home.

"What about our bags", Roxas asked through breathless laughter.

"Riku will know to get them. He hasn't been my best friend for years for nothing, you know."

When they got home, Axel barely let Roxas unlock the door before he was kicking it open and dragging Roxas inside after him. After slamming it shut, he pinned the blond to the door and ran hungry lips and burning hands all over Roxas's body.

Roxas gasped. "Ok, ok. I get your point. Now go brush because no matter how much I love you, there's only so much puke breath I can take."

Axel blew a raspberry at him then petulantly trudged to the bathroom to do Roxas's bidding.

Just as with their first time, they couldn't make it slow or gentle or beautiful. It was a blur of shouts and thrusts and wet heat; biting, scratching, tasting, and drowning in that sweet, white-hot ecstasy. In many ways, this was their first time too, because they were different people than they'd been before Axel's memory loss. Axel was more frightened. Roxas was angrier.

But they'd get through it. Together. For good, this time.

After, Axel felt sated and was drifting off to sleep with Roxas draped over his chest..

Roxas, whose smile had long-since faded, chewed on his thumb nail as he sat up. Axel scowled in his sleep at the sudden absence of heat and reached for Roxas, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy's waist and nuzzling into the small of Roxas's back.

The giddiness started to fade. He'd already said yes to his father and started the process of a life-changing move.

So how was he going to tell Axel without breaking them apart all over again?

::(A/N)::

*whistles* Inevitable typos, ahoy! I didn't get the beta that I wanted because the poor girl has so much going on right now. Speaking of… well, if the surgeries don't kill me, surely this damn fanfiction will xD

I split it up into two posts because goddamn. If I hadn't you'd be slogging through 32 more pages and I don't want to force too much on you too fast. So, uh…was the wait worth it?

Reviiiiew?

Next time: Rufus lends a hand as Mama Xem copes with the aftermath. Xion isn't out of the woods yet. And Professor Fair realizes he might have bitten off more than he could chew when it's his word against Marluxia's.