Notes: This was written for the Glee At The Movies Big Bang over on Livejournal. There are a few other extra goodies over there if anyone wants to check it out (the link is in my profile, my writing username there is theonewithfics).

So, let me get one thing perfectly straight: the rumors of my promiscuity have been greatly exaggerated.

No pun intended with the straight thing. Let me also get that out of the way right now - despite the rumors, ladies, I can assure you I'm definitely one hundred percent gay.

Which is sort of how we got here. I'm not like most of you. I haven't been going to private school since kindergarten. I don't know everyone's intimate personal details and backstories other than what I've learned in the past year and a half. I transferred to Dalton last year because ... well, I was beat up pretty bad at the public school I used to go to. Don't worry, this isn't going to turn into some gay bashing woe-is-me tale. In fact, this could have never happened at my old school - no one would have approached me to perpetuate this nonsense. Which is why I'm surprised in part that it got as far as it did. I'm used to being the only gay in the village, so to speak.

I digress. Let the record show that I, Blaine Anderson, solemnly swear to tell the whole truth - starting right now.

Because, really, in this day and age, what better way to share your most intimate thoughts than to put them on Tumblr?

So, students of Dalton and Crawford, faculty, parents, whoever might be watching - let's get on with it.

Part One - The shudder inducing and clichéd, however totally false account of how I lost my virginity to a guy at Westerville Community College.

Blaine and Tina had been best friends since the very first Dalton/Crawford mixer Blaine had attended, back in sophomore year, when his arm had still been in a cast. He would have never even gone if his 'big brother' Wes hadn't dragged him against his will. (Blaine liked Wes, the two had grown to become great friends, he just didn't like the idea that the school had enlisted an upperclassman to look out for him like they normally did to all the freshmen.)

Blaine and Tina had both stood against the wall, watching everyone else dance, until finally Blaine made a lame joke about the bright pink frock one of the blonde girls was wearing (Quinn Fabray, Tina later informed him). Tina had giggled, and they'd spent the rest of the night critiquing everyone's wardrobes.

Blaine was eternally grateful for the friendship they'd formed over the past year - but if there was one thing he couldn't deal with, it was her parents. The moment they'd found out Blaine was like, a quarter Filipino, they'd started including him in all of their strictly-Asian activities. This normally included Tina's mother probing as to why Blaine and Tina weren't dating. Over and over again.

So, when Tina brought up going to the Asian Festival in Columbus that weekend, Blaine knew he had to come up with an excuse. He couldn't use the Warblers, the a capella group he'd been thrust to the forefront of this year, because Wes was on the council. He knew Wes's mom would be dragging him as well. It was too risky that Wes and Tina would see each other, even though there would be thousands of people. Tina's mom would probably try to set them up too. (Which, to his credit, Blaine had tried setting Tina up with Wes after the fifth time Mrs. Cohen-Chang brought up the possibility of Blaine himself dating Tina. Tina wasn't having it though - Blaine, Wes is a nice guy, but just a tad rigid for me. Tina had added more purple streaks in her hair that night, probably to spite him.)

"I can't," Blaine lied. He was normally a very bad liar. He didn't come off convincing at all. Tina would see right through him, he was sure of it. "I have plans."

Tina rolled her eyes as they sat on a quilt in the shared Dalton/Crawford courtyard, eating their bagged lunches. "What kind of plans? You never have plans."

"I have a date." It was the first thing that slipped out of his mouth and Blaine instantly groaned. Blaine hadn't dated since he transferred to Dalton, and Tina knew that. For all of Dalton's no harassment policy and such, there still weren't a ton of openly gay guys for him to pick from. That he knew of, at least.

Tina picked the crust off her sandwich and narrowed her vision. This was so not going to fly. "With who? Did some unsuspecting Warbler finally come out and you forgot to tell me?"

"No. You don't know him. He doesn't go here," Blaine added, after Tina gave him a face telling him she knew everybody between their two schools even if they didn't know her. "I - I met him at that PFLAG meeting I went to at the beginning of the school year, the one in Columbus." There. That might work.

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Tina finally asked, "What's his name?"

"Jeremiah," Blaine said, saying the first name that popped into his mind from the meeting's members.

Tina squealed. Oh, shit. He had actually mentioned Jeremiah before, hadn't he? Damnit, Tina. Damnit, Tina and her ability to remember every piece of gossip that ever crossed her ears. "Blaine! Why didn't you tell me about this date with Jeremiah until right now? The guy with the gorgeous hair? This is huge!" She leapt across the blanket to tackle him, which made Blaine feel awful for lying. He was a horrible, horrible person.

"It just happened, seriously. We'd been emailing and he suggested meeting for coffee, I don't even know if it's a date, Tina!"

She just grinned wickedly. Perhaps he was a better liar than he thought. "I'll expect details Monday."

Blaine spent most of his weekend reorganizing his bow tie collection and singing Katy Perry and Pink songs loudly, trying to figure out how he could get the Warbler council to approve a few of them. 'Teenage Dream' would be brilliant.

Unfortunately, not one moment of his weekend was spent concocting a fake-date-with-Jeremiah story to tell Tina. He hadn't even been to a Lima Bean lately. So, when she was waiting for him outside his fourth-period English Lit class with Ms. Holiday, his first thought was how she got out of her own fourth period early enough to run across two campuses and a courtyard.

"I pretended to be sick," she whispered, getting some odd looks from Blaine's fellow classmates as she linked arms with him and dragged him to the courtyard. "Why didn't you respond to any of my texts?"

Blaine met Tina's accusing eye. "I don't know, I was busy? You know, with school. And stuff."

"What kind of stuff? Seriously, tell me about Saturday!" They passed through the Dalton doors, Tina heading quickly through the courtyard back to the Crawford cafeteria - she must have forgotten her lunch.

"I don't know, it was nice. He was nice." Blaine pursed his lips. He was saying nice way too many times to be believable. "We had a lot in common, but I don't think I'll see him again. It was a great weekend, though."

Just as they passed through the Crawford doors, Tina stopped in her tracks to stare at him. "Weekend? You didn't just get coffee?"

Crap. Why didn't he have a story all prepared again? "Well, we went for coffee," Blaine started, awkwardly, "and then we went for dinner, and then ..." Blaine trailed off. He was so screwed. He hoped Tina wouldn't be too pissed.

Tina's eyes grew wide. "You totally slept with him, didn't you? He goes to WCC, he probably has an apartment. You totally went back to his place and lost your virginity!" Tina's excitement was growing with each word, she was practically vibrating.

"No, Tina, I didn't -" Blaine sighed and tried to fix it all, but Tina had pulled him into one of the bathrooms. "Tina, I definitely can't be in here."

"Shhhh," she shushed. "There's no one in here. Now, spill it."

"Tina, I didn't sleep with him, I'm not that kind of guy." Blaine was getting more and more frustrated. He'd just have to tell her he didn't want to go to the festival with her parents and that he'd made it all up.

"The kind of guy who puts out on the first date or the kind of guy who doesn't tell his best friend the details?" Tina whispered fiercely. "Because you're totally the first one, you better not be the second one."

Blaine felt horrible about what came out of his mouth next, but it was just Tina. Even though she was one of the biggest gossips between the two schools, she'd probably keep it quiet. No one else would ever know. It's not even like it would be the first time he lied about something like this. He totally bribed Sarah Barnes into saying they made out during seven minutes in heaven in the sixth grade by offering her his history notes.

"Okay, okay!" Blaine hissed. "You got me! It was sweet and romantic and wonderful, but I have no desire to see him again."

Tina punched him on the arm. "Good for you! I always knew you had it in you!"

"Tina! That's not -" Blaine stopped speaking when a bathroom stall door opened.

Quinn Fabray. Head Crawford cheerleader and co-president of the Celibacy Club with her boyfriend, Blaine's fellow Warbler, Thad. She looked them both up and down, her expression cold, as she washed her hands and readjusted her cheerleading skirt. "Blaine, you shouldn't be in here, this is a girl's restroom. Just because you had sex this weekend with some random loser from WCC, you are not an honorary girl."

Blaine's jaw dropped. Did she actually just say that to him? "Quinn, I would really appreciate it if you kept anything you heard to yourself."

Quinn squinted at him. Quinn had never liked Blaine, not after David drunkenly joked about how Thad used to have a crush on Blaine at their end of year Warbler's party. Word had gotten back to Blaine that Quinn had tried to convince Thad that there were many other deserving upperclassmen who should be frontrunner for the Warblers this year, anyone but Blaine. In the end, the council had chosen Blaine all the same, and Quinn tried to murder him with her looks every chance she got. Of anyone that could have been in the restroom, why Quinn?

She turned on her heel and passed with a noncommittal mmm-hmm before exiting the bathroom.

Blaine was so screwed.

Part two - As I like to call, a scientific documentation on how fast lies spread.

By the beginning of fifth period, everyone at Dalton knew all about Blaine's supposed hookup, and he figured it was just as bad over at Crawford. Blaine kept his head held high and ignored any whispers – it was nothing worse than his old school. Everyone would probably forget in a few days, once Santana Lopez was worried about someone stealing her thunder and made out with the whole lacrosse team.

Mondays meant Warbler practice, so Blaine trudged down the hall, pulling the Katy Perry and Pink sheet music from his leather bag. Blaine had already talked to Wes that morning. Wes told him to make a formal presentation at the meeting – hopefully this was just what he needed to get past the rumor nonsense. The council didn't always allow formal presentations for song selections, so Blaine was grateful for Wes's offer.

He walked down the hall to the Warbler's study and saw Quinn leaving. She must have walked Thad. "Hey, Quinn," Blaine said, smiling at her brightly even though he was met with an icy stare. "Listen, about what you heard earlier, it actually didn't happen like –"

Quinn just raised her perfectly-tweezed eyebrows at him. "Blaine, I'm just happy that you've moved on from Thad."

Great, now Quinn convoluted that story into Blaine liking Thad. Which, Thad was nice and all, but not really Blaine's type.

Quinn pursed her lips before continuing. "Though, from what you told Tina, I'm not sure if your loverboy wants to move on with you. Not going to see him again? I can read between the lines, Blaine. I'm sure he doesn't want to see you again and you're just saving face."

Blaine's jaw dropped. So, now his non-existent date hated him? What could he say to that?

Quinn inched closer, smiling smugly. "Now, you know there's always a place for you in Celibacy Club, Blaine. We can help guide you on the right path." She patted at Blaine's shoulder, leaving him speechless and outraged in the hall.

A few fellow Warblers whizzed by, trying to make it look like they hadn't been watching the whole exchange, but as it was pointed out earlier – Dalton boys are inherently bad liars. Blaine sighed and gripped the strap of his bag before heading into the study.

Blaine settled into his normal seat on the couch, trying to avoid anyone's eye. He could feel their stares on his face. He pulled out his phone to make sure it was shut to silent and saw he had about five missed texts – the first one popping up from Jeff asking if the guy he hooked up with was really a college senior. Which, Westerville Community College didn't even have seniors. He turned it off completely and dropped it back in his bag.

Wes called the meeting to order, David going over some housekeeping items on the agenda that Blaine frankly tuned out. It wasn't until he heard Wes mention his name that he snapped back to attention. Everyone was staring at him. Right. Songs.

Blaine handed out the packets he'd prepared over the weekend, when he was unfortunately not having sex like the rest of the school thought. He took a deep breath to pull himself together – he was the face of the Warblers, he couldn't crumble under pressure.

His presentation had gone surprisingly well. The council really liked the idea of 'Teenage Dream,' and Wes proclaimed it their next piece. They'd start work on it on Wednesday. He walked through his front door that afternoon feeling a mixture of accomplishment and defeat, all at the same time, which was really weird. His parents were already in the kitchen cooking dinner. "Hi honey," his mom said with a quick kiss to his cheek, her hands covered in oven mitts. "Break any hearts today?"

It was her standard after school greeting, but today it hit a little close to home. "Only a few," he replied without his usual enthusiasm - he hoped no one would notice. He snuck a carrot from the serving dish and munched on it thoughtfully.

"Everything okay over there in the wonderful land of prep school?" Blaine's dad asked with raised eyebrows. "It doesn't look like it."

Shit.

"Everything's fine," Blaine said quickly, heading over to the cupboard to pull out the plates to set the table. "Just - you know I was here working all weekend on Warbler stuff right?"

"Of course, dear. Did your friends like those songs?" his mom asked, looking up from the pot of rice she was stirring.

Blaine smiled to himself as he set three plates on the table. "Yeah, they did. Everything's going to be fine."

At least he hoped so.

Part three – If you're trying to get a whole school to forget about you getting laid, this is what not to do.

High school is a weird place. I wasn't really on anyone's radar before - I mean, the Warblers are like rockstars around here, but everyone just saw me as that kid who sang really well and sometimes jumped on furniture. If anyone could spread a rumor, it was Quinn Fabray, and if there was anyone who hadn't heard of my supposed exploits on Monday, they for sure had by Tuesday.

Blaine kept out of people's way for the most part on Tuesday. He raced out of Ms. Holiday's class before lunch to avoid Tina, hiding out in the back of the library and ignoring her texts. He was able to knock out a first draft of his Lit homework – they were reading 'The Scarlet Letter,' how fitting – with time still left over to get together his notes for his meeting with Rachel Berry that afternoon.

Rachel Berry was the star of the Crawford County Day Chickadees – basically the female version of Dalton's Warblers. The pair got together every other Tuesday to brief each other and in non-competing times, come up with ways to get the two groups to interact more. Tina was a Chickadee as well, and she always made fun of Blaine for getting along so well with Rachel. Sure, Rachel was a little … overbearing, but when she was alone and didn't have an audience, she was much easier to deal with. Last year, the Chickadees had gone all the way to Nationals, beating out the Warblers at Regionals and Blaine was determined to reverse that this year.

Just like last year, the Chickadees and Warblers wouldn't meet until at least Regionals, so Blaine and Rachel were free to talk about their Sectionals plans. Blaine was explaining their plans for 'Teenage Dream' when he realized Rachel wasn't paying attention to him at all. He stopped talking for a full minute, her face schooled as if she was listening intently, even though she obviously wasn't, and she finally snapped to attention. "Sorry, Blaine, you were saying?" Rachel asked as if nothing was wrong, but her cheeks tinged a deep pink.

Blaine laughed. "What is up with you? You're never one to ignore my trade secrets." He cocked his head a bit, inspecting her face and looking for clues before saying, "Seriously, if you want to talk about it, I'm all ears."

Rachel seemed deep in deliberation, her brow furrowing as if she wasn't sure if she should tell Blaine or not. "Well, due to your recent …developments … you might just be the right person to help me with this." It was Blaine's turn to blush at that point, and oh god, if Rachel only knew the truth. She pursed her lips before continuing. "Finn Hudson. The lacrosse player you tried to recruit for the Warblers after Nick heard him singing in the locker room. I'm helplessly in love with him and I don't think he knows I exist."

Blaine blinked for a moment. "The Finn Hudson who used to date Santana?"

Rachel nodded, sighing with happiness, and Blaine realized she really did believe she was in love with him. "Santana never treated him right, I would, Blaine! I'm just not even on his radar since we don't exactly run in the same circles."

Blaine thought it best to not bring up the fact that everyone knew who Rachel Berry was, and that was probably a bigger problem than Finn not knowing her at all. "Well, Rachel, despite whatever you've heard, I've never actually been in love, so I don't know if I'll be much help."

Rachel's face fell for a moment, as if the thought of Blaine, one of her best (and only) friends losing his virginity to someone he didn't love was too much to handle, but then it was if a light bulb went off over her head. "But, no, actually, that might be perfect for my plan!" Rachel exclaimed, giddy with excitement. Blaine was almost afraid to hear her plan. "I was thinking I need some scandal to get him to notice me – I mean, drawing from your experience, you're on a lot more radars ever since Quinn overheard you tell Tina about – well, about this weekend, so I was thinking if Islept with someone, then I would obviously be on Finn's radar then, and since you're apparently the type of guy who sleeps with people he doesn't love …"

Rachel was giving Blaine what he and Tina called her crazy face, all serious with big doe eyes. She was certifiably insane this time. Off her rocker. Blaine's own eyes bugged out of his head and he sunk back in his chair a little in an attempt to get further away from her, the metal scraping loudly on the tile floor.

Blaine took a deep breath before speaking. "Okay, first of all, Rachel, I'm gay. You know this. That means I like guys." Rachel's face fell again, and at least he was letting her down easy, right? "Secondly, is that really how you want to go about getting Finn's attention? It would be for all the wrong reasons, Rachel, you're better than that." Rachel nodded and looked down at her lap and she looked like she was going to cry so at least Blaine could tell her the truth to make her feel better. "To top it all off, that rumor isn't even true. I'm still a virgin as much as you are." He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and passed it to her.

Rachel dabbed at her eyes, Blaine recognizing that her face had been schooled back into her fake crying look (upon meeting Blaine for the first time, she informed him that she could cry on cue and Blaine had the pleasure of seeing her talent on many of an occasion). "But … if all that's not true … why, Blaine? Why don't you just come out and say it isn't true?"

"Because it was a stupid rash decision to lie to Tina and I shouldn't have made it, because Tina is my friend and I should be able to be honest with her. I had no idea Quinn would overhear and tell the rest of the school and … well, I guess I look at it as an unfortunate consequence to a really bad decision. It doesn't matter. I don't really care what the rest of the school thinks." That last bit was kind of a lie. He would tell that to people but deep down Blaine had this insatiable need to be liked by everyone. The consequence part was true at least and everything would blow over eventually.

Rachel passed him back his mostly-dry handkerchief and he shoved it back in his pocket. She looked at Blaine silently for a while, as if she was analyzing his expression. "What I'm going to say, Blaine – well, don't take it the wrong way."

Blaine laughed loudly and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. He was fairly certain whatever was about to come out of Rachel's mouth would be borderline offensive, to say the least. "Go ahead, Rachel, I can take it."

"Well, you're right. I am better than sleeping with some guy just to impress another guy. Realistically, that would be stupid. But … if it didn't have to actually happen … you haven't seen the way people are looking at you, Blaine. You think they're just staring and whispering behind your back, but you were always – well, like I said, don't take this the wrong way, but you were sort of unapproachable before, Blaine. Everyone sort of assumed you wouldn't want to date after what happened at your old school, and you're insanely talented – though not as talented as me, of course – but I do know what talent does to alienate one from their peers."

Blaine frowned to himself before. He'd never really thought he was unapproachable of all things. Was that really how people felt about him? He made a mental note to ask Tina later. "What's your point, Rachel?" Blaine said, a little more curtly than he normally would, but he wasn't sure how much more of this he could take.

"My point is - you're now on people's radars for reasons other than your talent and you didn't even have to actually have sex. If I did the same thing … and well, you already said you don't care what other people think of you …" Rachel looked at him with the crazy face again.

Oh, god. She was implying – she actually expected him to let people think he'd slept with her?

"Rachel," he stammered, "I don't really care all that much about what people think of me, but letting people think I slept with some guy that I barely know who goes to school miles away is extremely different than letting people think I slept with someone who isn't even … the same sexual orientation as I am!" He actually wanted to say worse things, much worse, but that would do. No use in making her cry again.

Rachel reached out for his hands and Blaine fought the urge to pull them away. "Just think of it as a role, Blaine. You and I, we're both extremely talented. We could pull this off. What's the difference in letting people think you're bisexual instead of gay?"

"Lots of things, Rachel. Like the fact that I don't actually like girls," Blaine deadpanned. "That's … a pretty big difference." Blaine sighed loudly and ran a hand through his hair.

"I've got it all figured out, though! The perfect setup – my dads will be out of town this weekend. I'll host a party! A Warbler and Chickadee mixer!" Rachel exclaimed, eyes wide with excitement. At the sight of Blaine's face, hers softened and she patted his leg. "Listen. I'll plan the party anyways, and you take the rest of the week to decide. If you say no, well, at least we'll get a good get together out of this, right? But ... it would really mean a lot to me, Blaine. I don't think I've ever told you this, but you're one of my best friends."

Blaine was almost touched. Almost. "Will there be alcohol?" Blaine asked wearily. At least if everyone was drinking, he could pass it off as a drunken mistake.

Rachel's eyes were twinkling. "I can make that happen."

Rachel had sent Blaine a text on Wednesday that she now owed Noah Puckerman a very large favor at some point, because thanks to him, she'd procured more than enough alcohol for the party Saturday night. Everything was set and everyone couldn't stop talking about it. Most of the Warblers wondered what had gotten into Rachel – a raging party wasn't something she'd normally host. Rachel wasn't as uptight about things as Wes, but … comparisons had been made. Blaine didn't want everyone to forget about Sectionals coming up, so he texted Rachel back suggesting a little impromptu showcase of their Sectionals songs in the courtyard on Friday during lunch. Rachel, of course, loved the idea. Mass texts were sent out, and it was set.

Blaine spent the next few lunch periods hiding out in the library again, feigning massive amounts of homework to Tina. Finally, Friday morning Tina had apparently had enough, because she was waiting in the parking lot next to his normal space.

"Done avoiding me yet?" she teased, pulling open the door to Blaine's car for him.

"I'm not avoiding you, Tina," he lied, pulling his messenger bag from the back seat. "Things are just … crazy right now with Sectionals coming up. I'm surprised Rachel doesn't have you all practicing every waking minute. Yours is sooner than ours."

Tina just rolled her eyes and linked her arm with his as they walked. "Speaking of Rachel, you are going to her thing tomorrow night, aren't you? You're not going to make me face that disaster alone too?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be there. You didn't have to hear her go on and on about it for an hour on Tuesday. I'm pretty sure she'd kill me if I wasn't." Tina laughed and patted Blaine on the arm, and if she really knew the whole story, she'd kill him.

Speaking of. "Tina, do people think I'm unapproachable?"

She looked at him for a moment like he was crazy. "Of course they do. Well, probably not the Warblers, but the rest of the student body. I thought you knew this. That's what you get for talking like an adult most of the time like the rest of the Warblers. If you acted as goofy as you are around me the rest of the time, you'd be fine."

Blaine stopped in his tracks. "Tina! Why didn't you ever tell me?" He punched her arm, though much more lightly than she had on Monday. "I thought everyone thought of the Warblers as rockstars."

Tina rolled her eyes again and she was going to strain them at this rate. "Of course they do. Think about it – are you just going to roll up to Lady Gaga and ask her what's up? No!" She looked at Blaine for a moment. "You're over thinking it – no one thinks you're Wes levels of un-fun or anything."

Blaine still felt frustrated with the whole thing, but Tina grabbed his arm once more and pulled him along. "Come on, fellow rockstar. Time to get to class before our big lunchtime performance."

The unapproachable thing was still bothering Blaine all throughout his classes that morning. Finally, in between second and third period, he sent Rachel a text saying simply I'm in.

It was no secret that Ms. Holiday was a fan of the Warblers, so she let them out a few minutes early that day after hearing about their performance. It seemed like all of the teachers had the same idea, because by the time Blaine made it to the staircase, it was a crowded mess with everyone rushing to get outside.

He pulled his watch out of his pocket to check the time – no, it really was early, why was everyone out in the halls? Blaine was about to pull out his phone to call Rachel and see if he'd misunderstood and they were performing early when he felt a hand on his shoulder, with a warm 'excuse me,' and in that moment, Blaine's entire world shifted.

Blaine might have been showing off a little during 'Teenage Dream.' He hadn't been able to take his eyes off the new kid – Kurt, he'd said his name was Kurt – and he was worried about it affecting his performance. It had paid off, though, his fellow Warblers patting him on the back and Wes declaring it the best performance they'd ever done in the three years he'd been a Warbler. Rachel, Tina, and the rest of the Chickadees had been spectacular as well in their rendition of 'Rolling In The Deep.'

Blaine made his way to the edge of the crowd to find Tina and he finally spotted her, hugging Kurt, of all people. This was fantastic, he thought to himself. He'd only briefly interacted with Kurt on the walk to the courtyard, but there was something about him – something that made Blaine want to get to know him better.

"Blaine!" Tina exclaimed when she saw him walking over. She reached out for his arm and pulled him closer. "Blaine, this is Kurt, he's new here."

Kurt nodded, glancing towards Blaine. "I've actually already met Blaine. He was nice enough to show me where the courtyard was and explain to me what was going on. You were amazing out there," Kurt added, smiling slightly at Blaine. Blaine laughed lightly and ducked his head, suddenly bashful of the praise.

"Oh, good!" Tina replied, tightening her grip on Blaine's arm, which surely meant he would need to explain everything to her later. "Kurt and I went to the same middle school – we were in choir together."

"Choir?" Blaine repeated, his ears perking up at the word. "So, you can sing too, then. The Warblers are always looking for new talent."

Kurt let out a shaky laugh. "Oh, I don't know. You all looked like you've been rehearsing that for a while now. I'd hate to jeopardize your chances at Sectionals."

Blaine grinned wildly. "That was only after three days of practice. You'll have no trouble, I'm sure."

Blaine watched Kurt bite the corner of his lip, probably to keep from smiling. Was he being too flirtatious? He didn't really care. "Okay, I'll think about it," Kurt finally said.

"I'll hold you to that," Blaine said with a wink, and jumped a little when Tina tightened her grip on his arm again. He'd almost forgotten she was there.

"You'd make a wonderful addition, Kurt, I'm sure. I'm starving though – do you want to eat lunch with us?" Tina smiled brightly at Kurt and Blaine was almost positive he was losing all feeling in his arm at this point.

"Thanks for the offer, but I have to go meet with Mr. Schuster. They're still trying to finalize my schedule. Next time?" Kurt shifted his messenger bag and turned back towards the building.

"Welcome to Dalton!" Blaine called out as he left, waving until Tina reached up and grabbed his hand down.

"What are you doing flirting with him?" Tina hissed, dragging him over to their usual lunch spot.

"What are you doing keeping cute gay friends from me?" he retorted, pulling his lunch from his bag. He waited as Tina spread out their quilt, plopping down beside her once she was done.

"We're not really still friends," Tina protested. "I mean, we're Facebook friends, but he's never on, and he is friends with Mike since they both go to McKinley … or Kurt used to at least."

"Wait a second. Mike as in Asian Camp Mike? From this summer?" Blaine narrowed his eyes at Tina. "I can't believe you gave me a hard time about talking to Jeremiah, when you didn't tell me you were talking to Mike!"

"It hasn't been for long! I may have invited him to Rachel's party tomorrow because you've been weird all week and I thought you were going to bail on me." Tina frowned and patted Blaine's knee. "I'm sorry, okay? Let's get back to Kurt. I think you like Kurt." Tina nudged him with her shoulder.

"I might like Kurt, what of it?" Blaine said, a little defensively. "Now, are you going to be a good friend and tell me everything you know about him, or what?"

"That's my Blaine." Tina grinned delightedly before popping a grape in her mouth. "Well, I know he was having a hard time with people being jerks at McKinley. I would bet he transferred because of that. His stepbrother is Finn Hudson, the one here on a lacrosse scholarship."

"Oh," Blaine said, a little deflated. Something pretty serious must have happened for Kurt to transfer mid semester instead of at the beginning of the year with Finn. Blaine himself had transferred mid semester. "Do you know – do you know what happened?"

Tina shook her head. "I can ask Mike tomorrow though," she said, hopefully.

Crap. Tomorrow was Rachel's party. He'd just agreed hours before to let Rachel pretend to hook up with him. Kurt probably had enough problems without being dragged into Blaine's own mess of a life. What was he going to do, ask Kurt out when he'd known him all of ten minutes? Blaine shook his head. "Thanks for the offer, Tina, but maybe I should let Kurt settle in a bit first."

"Suit yourself," she said, shrugging. "Now that you know about Mike – what should I wear tomorrow?"

Blaine had told his parents he was going over to Rachel's to work on things for the joint Warbler/Chickadee Annual Showcase that was held every December – it was six weeks off, but it always helped to be prepared, Blaine had told them. He also told them he might crash at her place if it got too late – he was thinking he would need a lot of alcohol in his system to make people believe he would actually sleep with Rachel Berry. The last thing he wanted was for any of this to get back to his parents.

He prolonged the inevitable as long as possible. Three texts from Rachel later (Are you on your way yet? xoxo, Rachel, There are 30 people here already and you're not one of them, xoxo, Rachel, BLAINE WARBLER, DO NOT MAKE ME COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE. xoxo, Rachel), Blaine figured he should at least get ready. His mom finally poked her head in and asked if he was even still going.

Rachel's street was fairly deserted for someone hosting a raging party, so Blaine didn't have any trouble finding a place to park. He slowly wandered into Rachel's house and down the stairs to her basement to find at least half the Warblers and Chickadees already there, plus assorted other students who must have come with them. David cheered when he noticed Blaine, and a few other Warblers joined in, Jeff patting him on the back when he walked past. He half expected them to burst into song, but it seemed they weren't drunk enough for that yet, so he gave them a wave and continued into the basement in search of Rachel to show his face. He didn't see Tina, so she and Mike must not have arrived yet.

Blaine finally found Rachel over by the makeshift bar. "Oh, Blaine!" she exclaimed, smiling at him brightly. "So wonderful for you to join us. What can I get you to drink?"

After having two of Rachel's signature drinks, which were questionable in content and pink in hue, Blaine was buzzed and discussing the merits of reinterpreting Top 40 music with Nick, Tina still hadn't shown up, and Rachel was looking at him intently. She wasn't kidding about playing a role.

"Do you know Rachel's staring at you?" Nick asked, staring back at her confusedly. "She looks … she looks like she's pulled a muscle or something."

"Ah. Um. Let me go see what she wants. Excuse me," Blaine said, draining his drink and figuring he could get a refill while he was over there. "Rachel, are you okay?" Blaine asked, tilting his head and trying not to give her a look like she was too crazy.

"Fine! Never better!" she said loudly before lowering her voice. "I'm just trying to make this believable, okay?"

"Maybe don't try so hard," Blaine pointed out, pouring himself another drink from the absurdly bright pitcher. "Nick thinks you're ill." Rachel looked shocked and oops, maybe he was tipsier than he thought. "Look, what's the plan here? You are the one with the plan, right?"

Rachel snapped back to attention, drowning her own drink and holding out for Blaine to refill. "In a bit, I was going to suggest spin the bottle. We'll keep playing until I get you or you get me, and then I'll say I need to go out for air and you follow me. We'll leave the basement door wide open for people to follow and go into my room and pretend to have sex." Rachel's voice was barely a whisper at that point, and Blaine still couldn't believe he was going along with this. Why was he going along with this again?

The first thing that came to mind that he was a good person and a good friend, but that all seemed quite convoluted.

Two more drinks later, and Blaine was in a much better state to pull the whole thing off. He'd somehow made it to the floor where he sat in a circle with a dozen others who were just playing the game for fun. There'd been some murmurs when Blaine sat down, but pointing out he'd kiss anyone who was willing, guy or girl, squashed them. Blaine didn't have to wait long, because right after David landed on Sugar and Jeff landed on Mercedes, Rachel landed smack dab on Blaine, to the point where he'd accuse her of weighting the bottle or something, but she was as drunk as he was.

Rachel didn't waste any time launching herself across the space between them and crashing her lips to Blaine's, and alright. At least Rachel was a good kisser. Blaine didn't have to do much faking and really, what was just one kiss (or two or, okay, five)? When they broke, Rachel was giving it her best, and even in Blaine's own haze, she really did look like she was into this. Blaine was aiming for confused as hell himself, which he figured worked since he was actually gay.

Rachel coughed lightly, bringing her hand to her lips, and saying softly, "I need some air. You guys continue without me." She raced up the stairs as per the plan, and everyone in the room turned their eyes to Blaine to see how he would react.

He stumbled to his feet, calling out Rachel's name and racing towards the stairs as best he could. He passed Tina on the way, who must have shown up with Mike, and she looked utterly bewildered. Blaine paused for a second, debating telling her something, anything so she'd know he hadn't gone crazy, but ended up shrugging his shoulders as if he didn't know what to say - because he didn't and climbing up the stairs behind Rachel.

"Rachel! Rachel, wait!" Blaine called out as he ducked into the hallway. He waited a minute, adjusting to the low light before seeing Rachel hovering outside her bedroom door and motioning for him to follow. Blaine couldn't mistake the immediate sound of people fighting their way to the stairs to watch the insanity first hand and he saw a few exit through the basement door just as he slipped into Rachel's bedroom. Perfect.

Rachel was still wearing the same expression when he entered the room and he whispered, "Okay, Rachel, you can drop the act. Five people just saw me come in here."

Rachel didn't drop her act. "Rachel," Blaine said, drawing out her name in warning.

"Blaine, you're a very good kisser. In fact, you should come over here and kiss me again," she said loudly, yanking him to the bed. Blaine yelped as he fell flat on his stomach, Rachel's headboard banging against the wall loudly, and hey, that worked. "We could actually really make out, you know," Rachel whispered.

"No!" Blaine shouted, way too loudly, and Rachel punched his shoulder in reflex.

"You're not being very convincing!" she hissed at him. Blaine heard coughing on the outside of the door and could see feet shifting in the shadows in the sliver of light that showed underneath.

"I mean, no, not like that, here," Blaine said, still loud enough to be heard through the door as he shifted on the bed for added effect. "Oh yeah, right there," he added, wincing as he said it. Rachel hit his shoulder again and he couldn't hold back a squeal of pain when she did it.

"You are awful at this!" Rachel whined - quietly, thankfully, so everyone else hadn't heard that little tidbit. "Blaine! Oh, Blaine!" she called out dramatically, and Blaine half wondered if she really would be this over the top in bed. Blaine just rolled his eyes and shifted up towards the head of the bed to make more noise.

Rachel smacked him again as he passed over her and god, he was going to have bruises. "Stop hitting me!" he called out, and okay, he was kind of awful at this. Blaine hoped he wasn't this bad at actual sex. "I mean, Rachel, it doesn't have to be so rough - here, let me show you," he added as an afterthought, wiggling his eyebrows, because was that a good save or what.

Rachel huffed out a sigh and joined him at the head of the bed. "Alright, alright, how much longer do we have to do this for? I need another drink … or a bathroom." Drunk Rachel was whinier and needier than Sober Rachel, it seemed.

"You're not going to puke on me are you?" Blaine asked quickly, waiting until she shook her head before continuing. "Well, we can't quit now! I'm not going to be known around school as the guy who comes in five minutes," Blaine protested. "In fact, you should be making more noise so people think I know what I'm doing."

"Like what?" Rachel squealed, and shit, everyone out in the hall probably heard that. Blaine couldn't in good conscience actually hit Rachel, drunkenness aside, so he grabbed one of her throw pillows and smacked it against her stomach. "Oh!" she called out, and yeah, that worked. Blaine hit her again, biting his lip to keep from bursting into giggles, and before long, they were having a good old fashioned pillow fight to elicit vaguely sexual noises from each other.

Blaine knew he'd be forced to tell this to a therapist years from now, and wasn't even someone in the mental health profession would know what to say, he was sure of it.

"Okay, big finish, closing number and all that," Blaine finally whispered, and Rachel screwed her eyes shut and began almost singing, like she was doing scales and there was no way in hell people would believe this. Blaine tried his best to sound realistic to make up for it - hey, at least he'd watched porn, okay? Hopefully most people were as drunk as them, if not drunker.

The different versions of the story Monday morning would probably be laughable.

They lay in silence for a few minutes before Blaine turned to Rachel and began to giggle. He buried his head in the pillow to try and get it under control - oh god, what if the laughing sounded like crying - but then Rachel joined in, and they were both laughing into their pillows, breathing deeply and trying to calm down.

"Thank you, Blaine," Rachel finally said when she'd calmed down enough to talk.

"The favor you owe me is way bigger than the one you owe Puck for the alcohol, just an FYI." He gave Rachel a wink and turned to face her. "Okay, here, we should mess up your hair and clothes a little." He ruffled her hair and pulled her sweater untucked before doing the same to himself. He tried not to stare at Rachel's sweater too long, because if he did, it looked like the deer on it were moving.

By the time they opened Rachel's bedroom door, everyone had snuck back downstairs again. The party goers fell silent as they made it back down the stairs. Rachel finally broke the silence, screaming out "Best party ever!" to which most people cheered and went back to their previous conversations.

Tina grabbed his arm as he made it down the stairs. "What is going on?" she hissed at him, pulling him off to a corner.

"Not now, Tina. I need another drink so I can forget what just happened." He blinked. Shit, he hadn't meant to say that.

"Did what I think just happened actually happen? What the hell has gotten into you?" Blaine met Tina's eye and she actually looked concerned.

"Let's talk about this when I'm not drunk, okay?" he finally said. "I don't want to ruin your night with Mike." Her face softened at that point and she nodded, making her way back to Mike. He thought about actually going to get another drink, but it was if all of his previous drinks plus the night's events hit him all at once. He had to get out of there.

Blaine made his way back up the stairs, grabbing his coat and scarf from the couch where he'd set it when he came in. He opened Rachel's front door to find Kurt standing on the other side.

They both jumped at the surprise, Kurt moving out of the way to let Blaine out. "Hey," Blaine said, or attempted to say - his words might have slurred a little. "Let me try that again. Hi there." He smiled at Kurt and Kurt looked quite amused at the state Blaine was in.

"Hello yourself. It looks like you're having a good time," Kurt said with a quirk of his eyebrow.

Blaine blinked for a second, thinking. How long had Kurt been there? What if he'd been there long enough to know about the whole Rachel disaster? "I suppose," he settled for, laughing a bit because he was kind of too drunk to care much about the whole situation right now. "When did it get cold out here?"

"The temperature dropped pretty quickly, I think. It wasn't as cold when we got here. I only noticed it when I stepped out for some fresh air a little bit ago." Kurt smiled back at Blaine, a little tightly, and crap, he probably had been there long enough. "If I had known it was going to be this cold, I would have worn a scarf."

Blaine didn't hesitate before unwinding his grey and red scarf from around his neck - the one he'd just put back on. "Here, take mine," Blaine said, offering it to him. "I might be drunk, and that makes me naturally warm."

Kurt stared at him for a moment, as if he wasn't sure whether or not he should take it, but he finally reached out for the scarf. "Thanks," he replied, delicately winding it around his neck with more finesse than Blaine would have sober. "Are you going back into the party?"

Blaine shook his head. "No, I think I'm partied out at this point. Heading home. The party's still going strong, though." He turned to look at Kurt, who looked just stunning against the cold night air. He'd only seen Kurt in his Dalton uniform, after all, but Kurt seemed like the kind of person who would look amazing in a paper bag. He saw Kurt bite his lip and turn away, blushing, and oh shit, he'd caught Blaine staring.

"You're not driving are you?" Kurt finally asked, staring out into the night air.

Blaine made his way down the walkway a bit before turning and walking backwards - which was a feat in and of itself while drunk. "No. Too much alcohol for driving. Walking though. Perfect for walking. I only live a few blocks away. I'll get my car tomorrow."

Kurt screwed up his face a bit, as if he wasn't sure if he should let Blaine go. "Do you want me to drive you?" he called out once Blaine reached the end of the walkway.

Blaine slowed for a moment, thinking. Kurt's car would be warm - at least, he thought so, he would have heat, right? But, no. He'd already decided he couldn't drag Kurt into the mess he'd created. "No, thanks though. Keep the scarf!" Blaine responded, waving as he finally reached the sidewalk. He waited until Kurt waved back before finally turning the corner and heading home.

The following night, right when Blaine was in the middle of his Pre-Calc homework, there was a knock on his door. "Come in!" he called out, not looking up from his notes.

"This came for you," he heard his dad say. He turned to see his dad holding a brown box in his hand. Why was he getting a package? Why had it come today – there was no mail on Sundays! Plus, he never got packages - figuratively or literally.

"Uh, thanks, you can just leave it on my desk." Blaine knew from the curious look on his dad's face he wanted to know what it was, but Blaine hadn't a clue, so he just shrugged and turned back to his homework.

"Rachel dropped it off," his dad finally said, his eyes searching Blaine's. "Rachel knows you're gay, right? She had this look in her eyes … I think she thinks you're dating, Blaine. Does Rachel know her boyfriend is a homosexual? You think she'd have better gaydar with the two dads and all …"

"You done yet?" Blaine asked. Normally, he found his parents' teasing pretty cute, but he really wanted to know what Rachel of all people had gotten him. "I'm not dating Rachel, and yes, she knows I'm gay."

"I'm just saying," his dad said, shrugging his shoulders and holding up his hands. "You're allowed to date whoever you want, even if you are gay."

"Thanks, Dad," Blaine said with a sigh, gesturing for him to leave.

The second the door was closed, he bolted to pick up the box. It was unmarked aside from his name, so he didn't hesitate finding a pair of scissors in his drawer and cutting open the tape.

A note was on top. Blaine - thank you for the help this weekend. I'm sure I'll have no problem with Finn now. I really hope you enjoy this token of my appreciation, I had to endure a very awkward conversation with my dads to figure out the best one to get you. All the best! xoxo, Rachel

Blaine didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity of it all. He let out a laugh and sunk back into the pillows of his bed, shaking his head a little, the box vibrating as he threw it down.