"I miss Romano."

This admission came from Antonio, far away from all of Feliciano and Ludwig's troubles, in a comfortable hotel room in a quiet town somewhere in the Austrian Alps where he lay with Lovino curled at his side after a long day of sightseeing and a long night filled with a rather more interesting, and horizontal, sort of sightseeing. Never mind that they had seen those sights many times before.

Lovino, for his part, rolled over and pointedly ignored the man addressing him, along with the bare chest against his equally naked back.

Antonio huffed, warm breath ghosting by Lovino's ear. "I really mean it, Lovino! I miss our little kitty!"

"Shut up."

"Aw, let me lament our separation, my little tomato!"

Lovino struggled against Antonio's arms and scooted across the bed. "Don't call me that. And I'm trying to sleep. And he's my cat, you bastard."

"Oh, I get it!" Antonio said, cheerfully, blissfully carrying on without a thought, stretching his arms to ensnare Lovino once again. "You don't want me to talk about how much I miss him, because then you'll be reminded of how much you miss your little baby! That's so cute!"

"Aargh! Shut up! I'm trying to sleep, you oblivious bastard!" Lovino said, once again turning away from Antonio. "And he's not my baby! Not, not, not my baby, you stupid asshole!"

But Antonio carried on, because these are the things that Antonio thinks about at night post-coitus.

"Ah ha ha! But you do dote upon him, Lovino, dear! Always with the booties and the fancy treats that you think I don't notice. And do you remember the time I saw calling him 'Romanino' and letting him eat the whipped cream off your coffee?" Antonio pressed on. "So, I think he is your baby, and since you always swear and scream and throw things at me when I mention real babies, I guess this is the closest I can get…."

And Lovino felt his heart break at the tragic tone in Antonio's voice at that last remark; he knew how much Antonio wanted kids. He wriggled and turned around to face Antonio, and their noses brushed against each other.

"Well," he said, feeling terribly guilty, and pressed his face into Antonio's chest so he wouldn't have to look him in the face. "Maybe next time you bring it up, I won't shout so much. As long as you don't surprise me, and don't tease me. Bastard."

He fiddled with a lock of Antonio's hair, and could feel a smile on Antonio's lips when he pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Ludwig woke up to the event that every cat owner had learned to fear each morning; the dreaded stomach-jump-nose-prod-whiskers-in-face move.

"Oof," he said, feeling paws that hid claws like razor-wire press against his diaphragm through his tank top.

He tried not to open his eyes. If he kept his eyes closed, then he could maintain the façade that this was merely Gino on his chest, and not the the Catversary, Destroyer of Dogs, Kitty of the Bottomless Pit, the beast that is called Catgon, Tom of this world, and Spawn of Kitty-Satan, Romano-cat.

But, he knew that it was impossible to feign sleep forever; if he ultimately proved useless, he knew Romano would turn his attentions to Feliciano, who lay sleeping, blissfully unaware, at Ludwig's side. And Feliciano, nude as ever, had far fewer defenses against the evil. So he cracked an eye, peering into the round green eyes of a cat and sighed gratefully. It was Gino.

He carefully slid his right arm from Feliciano's tight grip and brought his hand up to Gino's head, where he scratched his ears good-naturedly.

"I thought you were Romano for a moment there," he told the cat.

And Gino said, "Miau," because he's a cat and that's generally what cats say. He continued to stare at Ludwig in a slightly disconcerting manner and then mewed again, quietly.

Ludwig closed his eyes and sighed again. "You're hungry, aren't you?"

"Miau."

"So I'll be feeding you, then?"

"Miau." There was a flick of a tail and cock of the head.

Ludwig sighed, defeated.

"You sigh a lot, Ludwig," Feliciano said sleepily, wriggling awake. "Ve. Are you going to feed him now?"

"Yes, we must keep them on a proper schedule," Ludwig said, brushing the cat off of his chest and onto Feliciano's, where the cat purred happily. Feliciano hugged the cat and smiled at Ludwig.

"You know…I think we should try again today," he said, stretching while Ludwig shuffled out of bed and over to the dresser, rummaging for socks.

"Try what?"

"Ve! Sex, of course," Feliciano said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and then his voice dipped into something significantly huskier. "I want to fuck you in the shower and make you beg for my cock."

Ludwig made a soft choking sound and hid his flaming face, still rummaging for a matching pair of socks that were not the horribly impractical but oh-so comfortable cashmere house socks Feliciano seemed to have so many of. "Really."

"Oh, yes. And you would love it, squirming while I finger you and finally just begging me to put it all in you," he said before abruptly going back to his sleepy, happy, innocent tone of earlier. "But not till later! First we need kitty breakfast, and then people breakfast, and then I have to go to the store and get more olive oil and tomatoes, because you know we ran out, ve, and I want to make tasty pasta for lunch today, and then I can fuck you long and hard while you beg for more. Okay?"

Ludwig, having found the socks, discovered all he could do was agree with Feliciano as he, face still firmly facing the floor, pulled his socks on.

"Ah, um. Yes, that sounds…enjoyable," he said, wondering why he was so embarrassed. "Er. Um. Do you want me to start breakfast after I get the cats fed?"

"Oh, no, I'll get breakfast today since I won't be able to do dinner tonight," Feliciano said, rising out of bed with Gino in his arms. "Remember, I have to go to the gallery tonight to make sure the installation goes well?"

Ah, yes. Work. Ludwig had been pointedly not thinking about when the weekend would end and they would have to go to work, thus leaving the house. Alone. With Romano. Ludwig could feel his stress rising at that thought, so he pushed it to the back of his mind.

"Oh, yes," Ludwig said as he made the bed that Feliciano always seemed to forget existed the moment he was out of it. "How late will you be?"

Feliciano's face scrunched comically as he thought about it.

"Nine-ish? I know it's a Sunday but, oh, well," Feliciano said. "We need to pay for new, new cabinets anyway, ve!"

Gino mewed at that, and Ludwig felt his soul shatter a little more.

Surprisingly, feeding the cats was not as terrifying as Ludwig had anticipated. Romano was asleep on the sofa, and he merely set out the dry food for Gino and the tinned food for Romano and settled down to a breakfast of pastries and the frighteningly strong coffee Feliciano made in their small, bright lit kitchen.

"Mm, so I was thinking," Feliciano said, gesturing with a croissant. "We should banish Romano to one room while we're at work, so he doesn't eat Gino or pee on the drapes or somethign, ve."

Ludwig looked at the drapes and thought for a moment, sipping his coffee.

"That seems like a good idea," he said. "But what would your brother think?"

"Oh, he'll probably murder me and accuse me of child—I mean, kitty abuse, ve. That's why we don't tell him!"

"Ah."

"Yes."

Ludwig nodded. "Seems reasonable."

And thus the plan, codename "Contain the Evulz," as Feliciano would later call it, was hatched.

A/N: Why, look at that. A swift update? Oh, wait, is that because it was already posted on the kink meme? Oh, lolsauce. As always, I hope you enjoyed and whatnot.