Author's Note

(You can skip this, if you want, and just go down to the story. So yeah, major spoilers in this note, because it's mainly a rant.)

Decided to throw my rendition of the ending into the vast pool of such fics. Because it just wasn't satisfying. Seriously, we invest five years into this story, these characters, loving them almost as much as real-life friends, just as any writer would a well-written character. And they decide to throw that ending at us? There was no closure. It was like we'd just walked off a cliff and were suspended in mid-air, too far from the edge to get ourselves back to safety. I was left staring at the screen, just muttering, "Wait... what?" Five years of this battle against the big bad Reapers, and then in the last ten minutes of the series, we learn, "Oh no! The Reapers aren't even the real enemy here!" They really expect us to wrap our heads around that in the last ten minutes of the series?

I could even understand Shepard dying, if only they'd handled it better. But nope! There was so much they could have done with this big incredible weapon you spend a vast majority of the game trying to build, and in the end it doesn't even turn out to be a weapon. Not really. It was more like an excuse for BioWare to kill off Shepard no matter what decision is made, when no one even really wanted that in the first place. Honestly, they could have cut out that entire sequence with the kid/Catalyst and had the Crucible fire, and it would have been the perfect ending. They still could even have killed Shepard, if they wanted, by having it destroy the Citadel in the resulting explosion.

I can understand wanting to be original and not just have it end as another massive war story ending with the destruction of a seeming indestructible enemy due to a newly discovered weapon. But what they did with it was just completely ridiculous.

Even if you did get the "perfect" ending, Joker (for some unknown reason) is near a Mass Relay and ends up being shot off to some planet in some other system God-knows-where, with Shepard's LOVE INTEREST (who, if they were with you during the run to the conduit, somehow ends up back on the Normandy, completely unharmed), with no way to get back to the somehow miraculously still-living Shepard because the Mass Relays are gone, leaving him/her alone, and heart-broken. Nope. No. NO. I will have my happy ending, damn it!

So, here it is. Rated T because my Shepard has a potty-mouth.

Disclaimer: Shepard and Mass Effect belongs to BioWare, regardless of how disappointed I am in them.

Really Over

The buck of the pistol in her throbbing hand had never felt more satisfying, as the man she had come to hate with the passion of a thousand burning suns crumpled dead at her feet. Even during her time working with Cerberus, she had never liked The Illusive Man. Never trusted him. Cerberus had a jaded history, and the more she'd learned of them, the more she'd hated the organization. They were behind the massacre on Akuze, and as far as she was concerned, nothing could redeem them in her eyes.

Kaidan's rejection on Horizon hurt, but honestly, she could understand where he was coming from, because she hated the organization as much as he did. But she didn't exactly have the luxury of choice back then, and neither the Alliance nor the Council seemed to care that entire human colonies were disappearing. But seeing the look on The Illusive Man's face as she set the bomb on the Collector base and said, "If you think I'm turning this base over to you to study, you can go fuck yourself." It was almost as satisfying as at last being able to kill him.

"It's about fucking time I put a bullet in your skull." Shepard muttered, hobbling between the bodies of the two men that had had such profound and opposing effects on her life. Anderson, her mentor. The man she admired more than anyone, from the time she was just a recruit. He was everything she had ever wanted to be as a marine, and the closest thing she had to a father since her family was killed back on Mindoir. She could only hope she was half the soldier he was.

And The Illusive Man. The man who had been responsible for her first real failure as a soldier. Her sworn enemy, the man she hated more than she had ever thought possible, made all the more worse at the thought that she had actually worked for him. She had used that hatred, that unshackled rage to propel her out of the exploding Collector base. His resources may have gotten her there, but it was her sheer hatred for the man that had given her the strength to get out, so she could finally hunt him down, and kill him for all that he had done.

I guess I should thank you, she thought, laughing bitterly as she reached the control panel, opening the arms of the citadel and letting the techs manning the Crucible do whatever it was they had to do, All things considered, I wouldn't have had the strength to get out of that base without you, even if it was just for revenge.

Anderson grunted beside her, pulling himself up and the two of them slumped down again on the platform, exhaustion and blood loss finally settling in. There was what sounded like an explosion, and their view of earth suddenly became shrouded in a cloud of ethereal red as a shockwave exploded out of the Crucible, engulfing all within it. Reapers, allies, Earth, everything, and it shot outwards with incredible force. The floor rocked beneath them, the immense power behind the wave shaking the Citadel like an earthquake, and Shepard had to grab the platform behind her to keep from being thrown, wincing at the agony shooting through her.

She could feel explosions on the Citadel once the initial shockwave passed, jostling her every few seconds, and a fairly large one somewhere behind her, but the central hub stayed intact, likely designed by those building the Crucible in past cycles as a precaution for just this occasion. Each Reaper ship she could see was covered in a sheet of red energy, and there was a moment when everything just stopped. Reaper forces ceased fire altogether, and fire from the Alliance and their allies stopped as well, almost as if they were unsure what to do, or if the enemy was suddenly planning to unleash something they hadn't prepared for. Then, explosions lit up the dark space before her, blinding her momentarily, and when her vision cleared again, each and every Reaper ship as far as the eye could see, was burning.

Tears stabbed the backs of her eyes, and her shoulders sagged in relief as Admiral Hackett's victorious whooping reached her over her comm.

"We did it." She muttered, her head slowly turning to regard Anderson at her side. Is it really over?

"Yes. We did." He replied, staring at the scene before them with half-lidded eyes, "It's quite a view."

Shepard laughed weakly, coughing, and wincing as another wave of pain shot through her, "Best seats in the house."

"God..." Anderson said, "Feels like years since I just sat down."

"I think you've earned a rest."

"Hmm. We... both have."

"Anderson?" She looked at him. His eyes were falling closed, and she nudged him with her shoulder, too weak to attempt anything else, "Stay with me, damn it. That's not the kind of rest I was talking about." Another bout of pain rocked through her, and she wheezed out another cough, "I didn't... cure the genophage... I didn't unite the geth and the quarians... just for us to die here. I intend to see this new galaxy we're about to build... and you're gonna see it with me."

"You did good, child." He said quietly, looking over at her through his peripherals, "You did good. I'm... proud of you."

"Thank you, Sir." She replied.

He didn't respond, and she looked over. Closing her eyes, she let out a sigh, honouring him with silence. Honouring all those she had lost in the name of this bloody war. Ashley. Mordin. Thane. Legion.

"Thank you." She whispered, bowing her head, her vision clouding and going dark. All of you.

"Shepard?"

Kaidan Alenko pushed through the rubble, his arm raised to shield his eyes from the fire, coughing from smoke inhalation. Garrus trailed behind him, but he was hard pressed to keep up. Kaidan was driven by a determination with such strength as he had never felt before.

Running for that conduit, his heart pounding in his chest and Garrus not far from his side, he had been amazed at her speed. She was so fast. So fast. Watching her run, propelled by the drive to finally just finish this, once and for all, he had screamed louder than he had ever screamed before when he saw her fall in Sovereign's attack, his heart feeling as if it had been ripped from his chest, "Shepard! Oh God, no!" The beam diverted, then, and sent a boulder flying up out of the ground and careening into him, taking him from his feet, and stunning him as he landed. His world exploded in pain, and his vision clouded to a blur.

"Alenko!" Garrus was shouting at him then, grabbing his arm and yanking him up, "Get up, damn it!"

He groaned. His head was pounding, and he was certain a few ribs were broken. Maybe even all of them, but nothing hurt more than what he had just witnessed. He'd lost her. Again.

No. No, this isn't happening. She didn't come this far just to die like this. I just got her back, damn it! The strength drained out of his knees, and if it hadn't been for Garrus insistently keeping him on his feet, he would have collapsed again, cursing God, fate, anything that would listen, You can't bring her back into my life, only to take her out of it now!

"Kaidan!" Garrus shouted.

He looked over at her, where she had fallen, but saw nothing, "She..."

He felt Garrus shake him again, "We have to get out of here!"

"She's not there." Hope blossomed in his chest, in place of where his heart had been.

"What?"

He had shoved out of the turian's grip and was limping towards the conduit again, "She's not there, Garrus!"

And then he was running. He had no idea if Garrus was following, and he hadn't cared. He had one drive, one purpose: to get to that conduit, to the Citadel, and find Shepard. Help her. She was up there. It was the only place she could be. He knew it.

The Reaper ship had since lifted off, thankfully. Because he had tunnel vision, and his logic was currently surpassed by the persistent drive to get to that conduit at all costs. When he finally reached it, he hadn't even hesitated to enter, and his stomach lurched as he was suddenly and violently transported up to the Citadel.

He'd regained his composure shortly after, Garrus not far off, his comm shorted out by the beating he'd taken back on the planet. But he'd find her. He'd find her if it was the last thing he did. There was blood everywhere, human remains scattered across a Citadel that was no longer even recognizable. But Shepard was nowhere to be seen.

"Spirits..." The turian muttered at his side as they stepped over the mangled corpses, and Kaidan felt bile rising up the back of his throat.

He had barely been there two minutes when he felt the Citadel shift, and he knew it was the arms opening, and that it was her, but an explosion set off in front of him, sending both he and Garrus flying backwards into a wall, knocking him out cold.

Get up, Kaidan. Get up. He groaned as he awoke. He wasn't sure how much time had passed by the time he opened his eyes again. His legs felt useless, but they weren't broken when he'd tried to move them, Kaidan, get up off your ass, and find her!

Finally getting to his feet, he shook Garrus awake, outstretching a hand to help him up. "Comm's out." He'd muttered to the turian, "See if you can reach her on yours."

He nodded, and spoke into the comm., "Shepard? Shepard, do you read?"

They hadn't gotten a reply.

But now, staring at the fallen support beam blocking his exit, he knew he wasn't far from her. Garrus approached it from his left, limping and holding his side, and they both braced their arms on the beam, pushing with everything they had until they finally felt it move. It inched away from the door with a loud creaking groan, before crashing down onto the floor, opening the way to a large circular room that looked for the most part, unharmed. Before them, on the other side of the room, was a large window peering into space, with Reaper ships burning as far as he could see.

It was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen.

As they moved further into the room, three familiar bodies lay scattered on the floor. Garrus approached Anderson, and Kaidan was at her side in seconds. Her face was pale, bruised and bloody, her armour melted and destroyed to the point of being practically useless, and there was a nasty wound in her side. There was so much blood.

But she was breathing.

She's alive. My God, she's alive.

"Shepard!" His hand was gentle on her face, pushing strands of cropped red hair from her eyes as he watched them open to narrow slits and their emerald depths focused on his own, "Dana!"

"Ka... Kaidan...?" Her voice was broken and barely even a whisper, and her eyes pinned shut again for a moment in pain before she reopened them, "Is it... really you?"

"It's me." He assured her, nodding as her hand reached up and weakly clutched his forearm, smearing it with her blood, "I'm here, Dana. I'm here."

He heard Garrus radioing the Normandy as he activated the tracking beacon on his omni-tool before leaning forward and gingerly placing a kiss on the top of her head, "You did it, Dana. You united the galaxy, and destroyed the Reapers."

She nodded slightly, sighing, before a weak smile pulled her lips to the side, "I could... really use a vacation."

"Yeah." Kaidan replied, chuckling slightly, "A nice, long, stretch of shore leave sounds real good right about now."

"Fuck that," she muttered, "That's three times I've... saved the galaxy now... I want an early retirement."

He laughed, never happier to hear the expletive coming from her, ignoring the pain in his chest, and lifted his hand to her cheek. She turned her face into his touch, closing her eyes with a contented sigh.

"Third time's a charm."

She chuckled weakly, then coughed, her breath sounding wet and laboured, but she still managed the strength to say, "It had damn well better be."

"Yeah." He replied, glancing up momentarily as the Normandy passed by the window in front of them, "I think you've earned it."