I'M BAAACK! And didn't I say there wouldn't be a Down Time 3? Well, ha, ha! It's Down Time 2 ¾! And now let the randomness begin…

XxXxXxXx

It was one of those times when Midna was beginning to regret freeing Link from where she first met him. For one thing, he had somehow managed to successfully catch his underwear on fire while his outside pants were nowhere near fire. It aroused a few questions in Midna's mind, but she forced them away. Another thing was her wolfy companion had discovered how bad fleas were and she absolutely refused to accompany him further on his back as long as this probablem remained. And the last and probably worst thing was Link was attempting to fly off a cliff.

Midna watched as he spread his arms and bellyflopped down the whole of the Zora Throne-room thing into the pool down below with a very audible SMACK. Someone began laughing hysterically. Midna rolled her eyes and floated down to where Link had pulled himself onto a small island and lay there as if dying.

"Sios saudk." Midna said.

"I know…oh…it burns!" Link groaned. "But it sure was fun!"

Midna sighed and then quickly reminded the rather forgetful Hero of what they were suppost to be doing.

"I know I have to do that one thing…but it's boring! Come on, I want an adventure!" Link stood up boldly and winced from the pain of bellyflopping twenty thousand feet in the air.

Midna growled, "Json diwh skhi!"

"What? Saving Hyrule isn't an adventure…exploring it is!" Link declared, turning on his heel and taking a step forward, where his foot met water and he sank.

XxXxXxXx

"Oasis Flight? Sure thing. Get in the cannon!" The creepy guy with the cannon in Lake Hylia said creepily. Link quickly got in the cannon, afraid that if he didn't get in it fast enough the guy would attack him or something. Within ten seconds, he was hurtling through the air at about a million miles an hour, the skin on his face seeming to be pulled away from his skull.

He landed with a loud, "AAAAGHH!" in a giant pile of sand, actually sounding a bit like "AAA-GHHFFMM!' instead.

Midna floated out of his shadow and growled, "Hsom dui djsy."

"Shand in mah mouf." Link muttered, wiping sand off his tongue with the Master Sword.

After getting the sand out of his socks, they began exploring the dead, dry, and very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, VERY hot wasteland of a desert. This was Link's idea of exploring? The kid must have been hit by an octorock when he was little.

Midna remained in shadowy form to escape the sun's heat while she watched Link struggle along, gasping for water or root beer or anything at all after a few minuets.

"Midna! I'm gonna die!" he groaned, pretending to faint. Midna was about to slap him upside the head when something caught her eye.

There, about a half mile away was a giant slab of bridge. Eldon Bridge, to be exact. Link must have seen it too because he quit pretending to die and the two of them hurried along to it. "How'd it get here?" Link asked. "I mean…this thing should be halfway across Hyrule!"

Midna did not care/know how the twenty thousand ton bridge piece got in the middle of the desert, she only cared about getting Eldon Bridge back in one piece before a little 'ol lady on a horse fell into the giant gaping hole. They approached the hillside that the bridge piece was in and giant, glowy red things rained down from the sky and stuck in the ground, forming a barrier. Three Shadow Beasts fell out of a portal and made a beeline for the two non-desert dwellers.

"MIDNA! I HAVE TO TURN INTO A WOLF! NOW!" Link screamed, running in circles and randomly waving the Master Sword around. After avoiding the blade, Midna got close enough to her psycho companion to turn him into a wolf. After that, things went smoothly from there on out.

"Whew…that was close…I almost died." Link said dramatically. When he realized Midna wasn't paying attention he went towards the bridge piece

"Iusio skai." Midna said.

"Yeah, let's teleport this thing." Link agreed.

So teleport that thing they did. Eldon Bridge was restored. Hurray.

"Let's teleport back to the desert. I think I saw something when we moved that giant cinderblock of a bridge." Link suggested.

XxXxXxXx

"Kreeko Joap!" Midna exclaimed, pointing down the dark abyss that had been hidden from the bridge piece.

Link began heading down the stairs when a voice came out of nowhere, saying, "I've been expecting you, Hero…"

"What was that?" Link asked nervously.

"Juih dhyw." Midna said, accidentally shoving him over a small cliff. Link faceplanted directly onto some sort of Orc thing and it died, exploding into a Blue Rupee. Link picked it up and a mysterious voice said, "You've found a Blue Rupee! It's worth five!"

"Now I'm really creeped out…" Link muttered.

Midna pointed to the wall, where it had crumbled, leaving an escape route. They hurried through only to fall down another cliff. Link heroically slayed three more Orc things and another wall crumbled.

"I just noticed…there's no way to get back up to the surface." Link looked up to the balcony-like cliff thing they had fallen over, rubbing multiple bruises on his elbows and knees. "So I sort of hope there's a really good prize or something at the end of this thing."

"Jerkare." Midna sighed, pointing to the passageway which had opened up. They went through three more little arena things before Link stood on the edge of a fourth one, gazing below at a small pool with what looked like a cloud hovering over it.

Closely followed by Midna, Link jumped down. His vision grew so bright he had to look away, and when he looked back…there was a girl. Well…a girl with giant fairy wings.

…She wasn't really wearing a shirt either…

Link stared at her for a total of ten seconds before turning and screaming, "AAAOOAAA IT BURNZZ!" He ran into a wall and knocked himself out.

Midna facepalmed and turned back towards the fairy girl. "Wakah?"

"I am the Great Fairy." The girl said. "Did I alarm him?"

"Yes." Midna said flatly.

The Fairy sat on the edge of the pool and waited for Link to wake up. A good half hour passed before he sprang up, shouted, "DOUGHNUTS!" and slammed into the wall again.

The Great Fairy sighed and turned to Midna. "I guess I should tell you this, then. He scares me."

"Yes," Midna agreed.

The Fairy took a deep breath and said, "I am the Great Fairy. Since you have made it this far, I will release fairies to Ordon Spring. If you wish to leave this dungeon and return to the surface, you need only to speak to me. Proceed if you wish." She sounded as though she had gone through this over and over.

Midna nodded and slapped Link, waking him up again. "Where am I?" He muttered.

"Quisyui." Midna said.

"Oh, yeah." Link turned a bright shade of red, clashing with his green tunic and making him look like some bad Christmas decoration. He avoided looking in the Great Fairy's direction.

The Fairy in turn gave Midna a look that screamed, "WTF?"

Midna only facepalmed again and then proceeded to tell Link what the Fairy had told her.

"Oh, ok. I think we can keep going." Link said quickly, running towards where another door had magically fallen.

XxXxXxXx

"I thought I was only in a T rated game and FanFiction!" Link screamed as he smashed a lot of Orcs and flying skulls and rats and whatever random crap tried to kill him. "I mean, at least her hair was long enough to cover….um…any interesting places, but still…if a slight wind blew through that place…" Link sliced some spider thing open and green blood flew everywhere.

"Ew…I don't want to think about it…" He shuddered. Somehow the Hero wasn't grossed out about spider blood but when the topic turned to the Fairy he nearly had a fit.

Midna would never understand anyone in the world of light. In her world, guys would probably be staring. They did enough of that at her already.

"At least she brought back fairies to Ordon… Maybe I can catch them all in jars." Link went on rambling on. "And sell them for lots of money so I can buy the Fairy a shirt or something." He walked through another door that had opened and they entered into another arena.

After destroying a bunch of purple Chus they entered onto another balcony-ish cliff, overlooking a small pool much like where they met the Fairy.

"Weird…" Link muttered, but he jumped down.

In a bright flash of light the Fairy came back. Link covered his eyes and screamed, "IT BURNZZ!" and ran through the closed door, making a Link shaped hole in it. The screams of him getting mauled by rats sounded.

"That sounds very unpleasant." The Fairy muttered.

"Mika." Midna agreed.

Eventually the Clawshot thing clung onto the roof, dragging up Link, who still had a rat chewing on his ear. He landed on the balcony thing and entered back into the room Midna and the Fairy were in, ripping the rat off his ear and throwing it into a wall as he went.

"I don't know what this place is or what the heck you want from me, but this is incredibly stupid." Link growled, eyeing the Fairy square in the face and then blushing and looking away.

"Liasn din iosdfn." Midna sighed.

"I AM NOT IN LOVE AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE LITTLE FAIRY BABIES!"

Midna cracked up laughing and fell into the pool.

The Fairy facepalmed, muttering something about immature Heroes and bomb arrows and something about needing a giant spiked ball on a chain for the upcoming challenges ahead. And at some point Link was pretty sure she said something about fat shoes.

"Just…just go on ahead." The Fairy used magic to shove Link and Midna out of her sacred pool area and into the next arena.

Cue demented ice bats and flying ice horse skull bird/bat mutations.

XxXxXxXx

"LINK!" Midna slapped the half-dead Hero a lot. "KIIYI ISO!"

"Midnaaa…." Link groaned. "I see ice cream cones…"

Midna reached into his pack and drew out a bottle filled with purple Chu jelly. It was now or never. It would either kill him or revive him. Either way was ok with her.

Link choked on most of it, but a little managed to get down his throat. He sprang up and shouted, "LET'S SAVE THE WORLD!" before marching into a ice-breathing dragon's path and freezing.

Midna facepalmed and hoped that the dungeon things would end soon.

Cue one twenty more rooms.

XxXxXxXx

After a very long and miserable road of slicing and different colored blood, they reached the Fairy for …the fifth time? Link lost track.

"I'm impressed. For being an immature, boyish joke you've done well." The Fairy said, walking sort of suggestively towards the Hero.

"GET HER AWAY, MIDNA! GET HER AWAAAY!" Link turned and beat on the door that had closed behind him. Midna just laughed from somewhere up in the shadows, having turned back into a shadow being.

"Oh, relax!" The Fairy snapped, grabbing his arm.

There was a flash of light and Link was in that weird little sacred pond thing in Lake Hylia. The Fairy floated over the water, a really annoyed look on her face. "You do know in order to get out of the dungeon I had to come in contact with you, right?"

"No." Link said, ashamed. He looked down at his feet.

"Well, anyway, since you helped free all the Fairies, here's a blessed bottle of Fairy Tears. You may need them. And if you run out you can come back and I'll refill them, free of charge, because I'm suppost to, so says NINTENDO." The Fairy rolled her eyes.

Dramatic music played.

"You've got the Fairy's Tears! Drink them to briefly boost attack power and to restore 8 hearts!" A creepy voice said out of nowhere.

"Ok, then…" Link muttered.

Midna rolled her eyes and said, "Jiod disn jdie ayeu."

"Oh yeah, that's right! We have to do other stuff!" Link stashed the bottle of Tears in his pack and raced off. "Bye, creepy Fairy!"

The Fairy facepalmed, but she was happy that she was free from the creepy dungeon, at least.

XxXxXxXx

Yeah…in the desert, that's where you find the bridge piece and then there's stairs leading down towards the dungeons, where you'll find the Great Fairy. She doesn't look as creepy as I said she does, in fact I wouldn't have even noticed she wasn't wearing anything on top if my bro hadn't pointed it out. …Thanks, DinosaurKing82… XP

I hope that wasn't too creepy for anyone. This scared me. Next stuff to be completely non-perverted.