Left Behind

By: Kuroda Taishi
and
Nokito-chan

Warnings: Rated M – don't like, don't read

Disclaimer: Neither of the abovementioned collaborators own Naruto or its characters and we make no money from the writing of this piece of fan fiction

Kakashi closed the door as quietly as possible, taking one last peek inside through the small glass window in the center before turning around. His eyes flashed around the hallway, checking to make sure that the Anbu Black Ops members posted in the hall were still in place.

After the incident with Kabuto a few days ago he had recommended an increase in the guards and the Third Hokage had agreed with him. Currently there were ten Anbu members posted inside the room with the additional five in the hallway for a total of fifteen guards. No one, except for the Hokage himself, would be able to infiltrate the room, and, maybe if it was a good day, Kakashi could as well, but it wasn't like either of them had any reason to kill Sasuke. If they were in the Bloody Mist instead of the Leaf then they might kill the boy just to keep him out of Orochimaru's hands, but that wasn't the way of the Leaf.

Even if it was they couldn't afford to lose Sasuke, the last of his clan, the true heir to the Uchiha name. Sure, Kakashi had the Sharingan in his left eye, but he'd never be able to pass it on to future generations. Sasuke truly was the last of his kind, except for Itachi, and no one had any clue where he had run off to after he had massacred his own clan. He'd left his little brother Sasuke behind, maybe out of pity, or maybe for some other reason, but no one really knew what had happened that night. So now Sasuke was the only Uchiha left.

Perhaps that was why Orochimaru wanted him so badly. But Kakashi wasn't going to let that happen, he wouldn't let another member of the Uchiha clan be taken away from them. He'd protect Sasuke with his life if need be. At least until the boy could protect himself.

So that's why he'd arranged for Sasuke to be released into his care tomorrow. He'd take him off to a secret location and begin training. He'd teach the boy one-on-one and help him become stronger so that he'd be able to deal with all the powerful enemies that would be sure to come after him.

But, for now, Sasuke needed to rest, and that left Kakashi pretty much in the clear for the remainder of the day. He had already visited the Memorial Stone that morning, like he did every morning, and paid his respects to those who had left him behind. He hadn't eaten lunch yet so Kakashi figured he'd just do that before finding something to occupy the rest of the day. He adjusted his mask a bit before slipping his hands in his pockets and heading down the hospital hallway. His white head of hair bobbed up and down with each step that took him closer to the exit. He nodded politely to the nurses he passed on the way, making sure they didn't see him staring at their cute white uniforms that fit tightly on their bodies and that made him wish he'd become a medical ninja so he'd be able to see them every day.

As he neared the front desk he had to dodge out of the path of someone who was bringing a huge bouquet of flowers to one of the rooms back down the hall. Probably a concerned family member or a kind lover, but Sasuke didn't have anything like that so he wouldn't be getting any flowers. Kakashi had thought about bringing the boy something, but that would have been awkward and Sasuke would be out of the room before he had any time to appreciate a get-well gift.

Eventually he made it to the front entrance and pushed his way to the fresh air outside. He had to pause for a second and let his eyes adjust; natural light was so much cleaner than the artificial ones inside the hospital. He took a refreshing breath of unfiltered air as his eyes skimmed over his surroundings. It was a normal day for the time of year, mild temperature, a light breeze, a few clouds scattered in the sky. Pretty much a perfect day for any outdoor activity.

"Well, I shouldn't go to Ichiraku's, I might run into Naruto there," he thought as he tried to decide what kind of food he was in the mood for. The Copy Ninja had already set up Naruto with Ebisu as a personal trainer so he could focus on Sasuke, but he wasn't quite sure how that would work out. So he didn't want to take a chance of running into Naruto and having the blond following him around all day pestering him for training.

"I could go over to that new pork restaurant, but if I remember correctly that is where Guy usually trains at this time of day," he thought. He certainly didn't want to run into Might Guy and be dragged into a rivalry contest. Although some of the challenges did turn out to be fun, he just wasn't in the mood for one today. Plus he had a feeling that Guy might be a little emotional since his student Rock Lee had been injured by Gaara in the preliminary round of the Chuunin exams. Kakashi knew what Guy was like on a regular day and had no inclination to find out what he was like on an emotional one. So, after standing around for a minute contemplating his options, he finally decided that he'd go with barbecue. Who knew, maybe he would see Asuma there and they would get to catch up a little. Although Asuma seemed to be curiously absent in recent weeks. It was probably nothing, but sometimes with Asuma you really didn't know.

Kakashi turned in the general direction of the barbecue restaurant and started walking. Not being in any particularly hurry, he pulled out the latest Icha Icha novel Jiraiya had sent him. He'd already read it about forty times, but some books were just so good that you couldn't resist reading them over and over again. The Legendary Toad Sage knew how to write a damn good book. The things he could do with simple words were unparalleled. Kakashi counted himself lucky that he personally knew the man.

Engrossed in the novel Kakashi wound his way through Konoha, past all the little shops that were family owned and operated. He'd been in most of them at one point or another to buy something or get something repaired. All of them seemed to be a bit cleaner than usual, their owners sprucing things up in order to attract new customers. With the Chunin exams going on there was an influx of people coming into the village and everyone usually brought some extra cash to spend on a trinket or memorabilia. Or they saved up for some rare item that they could only buy when they visited the Hidden Leaf. A few shops had a fresh coat of paint to brighten things up a bit, and many had signs advertising some sort of special.

Kakashi ignored all of it; he wasn't much of an impulse buyer and liked to shop when things were a bit less crowded. Pedestrians milled about, focused on whatever they were doing or listening to some salesmen pitching a miracle product. Children ran and played in the streets and sometimes an overprotective parent shouted after them. Kakashi was like a ghost, slipping in between people without them knowing he was even passing by. He wormed his way through the crowds or sidestepped into an alley to avoid a busy street. He pretty much knew the village like the back of his hand and didn't even need to look up to see if he was headed in the right direction.

Suddenly, as if the sun disappeared behind a thick blanket of clouds, Kakashi realized that it was dark all around him. He closed his book and stored it away before looking around and trying to get a sense of where he was. The whole place was dark, but when he looked up he could still see the sun shining up above the tops of the buildings.

"I don't remember this back alley being here before," he contemplated as he scratched his head, "I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere. It was probably during that scene where the brunette was bending her body into all those positions. I guess I could just climb up to the top of that apartment complex to see where I am, but exploring a new place can be fun. I think I'll just retrace my steps instead."

He spun around to start backtracking when...

It was decidedly not all right, Anko seethed as she slammed out of the Hokage's office. The old man could try to pacify someone else because she wasn't buying it. Orochimaru had been in Konoha. He was targeting one of their own. How on earth could the old man think that anything would ever be all right ever again? Anko Mitarashi understood better than anyone how anything involving the snake Sannin was more than likely to end in bloodshed and heartbreak. He took what he wanted with no regard for anyone or anything else; didn't care what he had to destroy in the process.

A sighing groan ripped its way free from her constricted throat and Anko resisted the urge to start yanking her dark hair out by the roots as she stalked down the street. How the Sandaime could persist in being so very idiotically blind where Orochimaru was concerned was beyond her. Love was not something that she was very adept at – not something she understood instinctively the way every other resident of Konoha seemed to do. How could she? All human relationships had ever brought her was abandonment at every turn.

The sibilant hiss was back; hateful words ringing in her ears … telling her that she wasn't good enough, would never be good enough for anyone or anything…

Anger rose inside her, a hot wave of pure, white rage that washed through her veins and raced her heart to an unhealthy pace. Everything she had done, everything she had fought to accomplish, all she'd endured because of that goddamn snake … and still, she hadn't been a match for him. She'd stood there, wide-eyed and fearful, unable to do anything. She didn't care about the Uchiha – not personally or even in an abstract way – but the mere fact that Orochimaru coveted his Sharingan was enough for Anko. She would spend her last breath ensuring that he never got within a mile of Sasuke Uchiha ever again.

Blinding rage is hard to sustain, without the focus of it present, and just as soon as Anko felt the tips of her ears turning red with anger it started to ebb and gradually flowed away. Moodily, she crossed her arms and kicked a pebble out of her path; as blind to the broad, cobble-stoned and tree-lined avenue, as she was to the people surrounding her. Usually Anko took great pleasure in terrifying the innocent citizens of Konoha and shinobi alike. She was the erstwhile apprentice of Orochimaru, after all. They all expected her to snap any day and she was not above encouraging that viewpoint. It meant that people left her alone; her reputation enough to discourage anyone from messing with her.

She studiously ignored the little voice at the very back of her mind that whispered about loneliness and heart-ache and fear of letting anyone close enough to ever hurt her again. The anger was easier, more therapeutic, and she reached for it almost instinctively, kindling the banked embers to smoldering rage.

A flash of white hair caught the very edge of her vision – white hair, green Jounin vest and ever-present Icha Icha book …

Kakashi.

Rumor had it that the copy-nin had faced off with Orochimaru, walking away without a scratch. Rumor had it that the only ninja in the entire village capable of even thinking of taking on the snake Sannin was Kakashi Hatake.

Perfectly arched eyebrows drew together in a contemplative frown as Anko absentmindedly started following Kakashi down the street. She wanted Orochimaru gone. Gone from her life and her thoughts – she was so damn tired of the shadow he cast over her entire existence …

The frown cleared like sunshine streaming through a break in thunderclouds and Anko picked up the pace, stretching her stride to catch up with the copy-nin before he disappeared. A yapping dog broke free from its owner; diving into her path and forcing her attention away from her prey; that second of inattention was all it took. When Anko raised her eyes again he was gone.

A frustrated growl startled a young genin rushing past and she flashed him a barbed grin, inwardly giggling at the frightened look on his face as he ran even faster to get away from her. The moment of amusement faded away quickly as she took stock of her surroundings. In this part of the village the buildings rose high, man-made blocks of towering stone, and she immediately vetoed the idea of taking to the rooftops. Instead she ambled slowly along, making sure to check down every side street for a glimpse of Kakashi.

Two buildings formed a narrow, dark alleyway on her left and, though Anko doubted he would have gone down a dead-end, she glanced into the cleft anyway. His hair shone silver-white in the dim light, the book lowered as he stared around him with interest – or so she assumed, not being able to read his expression under that damn annoying mask. Why did he even wear that thing anyway? People who wore masks always made her suspect they were hiding something. She didn't trust them. That's why she never even considered joining Anbu, not like they would let her in anyway.

Without thought, and before he disappeared again, Anko moved as swiftly and silently as she was able, seeming to appear from the shadows.

"Ah-ha! I found you! Tell me about Orochimaru!"

The demand in her voice was clear, her appearance startling enough that almost anyone would have answered from pure shock alone. Anko grinned inwardly; Ibiki would be proud. It was a classic interrogation technique: surprise them into answering.

But Kakashi Hatake was not anyone; he didn't even seem very surprised by her sudden appearance. He simply arched his one visible brow and stated the obvious in a mildly pleasant tone of voice.

"Anko. I wondered when you'd be coming to see me."

Pearly white enamel grinded together nearly audibly as Anko fought the irritation – damn annoying, superior bastard …

"That obvious, huh," she smiled-snarled, "So, do us both a favor and answer quickly so the whole tedious business can be over and done with."

He smiled gently; she could see his lips moving beneath the mask, his eye crinkling with humor.

"That's not very nice. Didn't you know that people are much more likely to be cooperative if you're polite?"

Deep breaths, deep breaths, Mitarashi. Do not let him get under your skin, do not let him get under your skin.

"I really don't care, Hatake. Anyone who's ever met me will know that polite inquiries are not my style. So quit the small talk and tell me what I want to know. Where can I find, Orochimaru? What did he say to you? Is there anything that might shed light on what his immediate plans are?"

She forced herself to stand rigidly, like the soldier she was, as she waited for his reply. As expected it was not to her liking.

"Anko, Orochimaru is no longer your concern. You've done well in leaving him in your past. Let it go."

Sudden, traitorous tears blurred her vision, the gentleness and understanding in his tone nearly her undoing but she refused to give in to the darkly swirling emotions that seeing her Shishou had awakened in her. Absolutely refused. She would not, would not, let anyone see the hurt, especially not the man in front of her. In fact, there was no hurt – only anger. Anko nodded absentmindedly, not noticing the curious glance the copy-nin leveled at her. It wasn't even personal anger when you got right down to it – only the anger of a dedicated kunoichi towards a wanted criminal that threatened the village she owed her allegiance to. Despite her general attitude, Anko was very good at what she did, one of the best kunoichi of her generation, and she had worked far too hard to gain the respect of her peers to throw it all away in one emotionally charged moment. Distantly, she decided that a good, long training session to get rid of the anger and frustration, and the abominable ache in the region of her heart, was exactly what she needed.

"I can't, Kakashi! Why can't anyone understand, where Orochimaru is concerned, it is my business?" Despite her best efforts, she couldn't keep the undertones of emotion from her voice, couldn't quite disguise the effect of the last few days. She was dangerously close to snapping…

… And she could see that he knew that too; the way his eyebrow rose just slightly, the unhappy quirk of his lips beneath his mask, the concern in his stance; how he almost involuntarily leaned towards her before thinking better of the action.

A small snarl lifted her lip.

"Just tell me, damnit, Kakashi!"

She refused to acknowledge the way her voice rose; something almost like hysteria painting her tone thickly with emotions she didn't dare examine.

"All right, all right." With a sigh Kakashi raised his hands in surrender, stowing his book away in the pouch at his hip. "But not here – where anyone can hear. The topic isn't open to the public after all."

Before he could change his mind, Anko latched onto the words.

"Fine, let's go to my place. It's not far and I'll even feed you if what you say is to my liking."

A little bribery never hurt anyone, either.

Kakashi followed quietly behind the purple-haired kunoichi in the seductive brown overcoat that left every male wondering what was underneath and just out of view. He could detect a scent flowing off her, but couldn't quite place it yet. The aroma wasn't from a perfume, more like something that her body produced naturally. He tried to ignore the sweet smell and focus on analyzing the woman. She was a few years younger than him, but he knew that her experiences had made her just as mentally mature as he was. They had both seen the two different sides that the shinobi world had to offer.

He remembered a time when he was still a young man and he had seen her entering the village as he was setting out to go on a mission. She had the brightest smile on her face, like everything in the world was perfect. And, of course, she was tagging along behind Orochimaru, her envious eyes focused on his every trivial word.

But she wasn't like that anymore; she'd learned the truth about Orochimaru the hard way. Many others had learned the truth as well, but she was lucky enough to survive his sick experiments and come out of it with only some memory loss. A lot of the other Ninja thought she was a spy he'd left behind, but Kakashi knew that wasn't true. He could see the pain in her eyes and hear the hurt in her voice every time the snake Sannin's name came up.

This was exactly the reason why he had agreed to come with her. He knew she didn't just want the information he had for no reason. She wanted to go after Orochimaru.

Kakashi had already been informed that she encountered him in the forest of death. And he knew from personal experience that Orochimaru was just toying with her. Kakashi could tell from just their stare-down that he wouldn't last two minutes against the Legendary Sannin on his own, so there is no way that Anko would stand any chance against him. She'd just be killed or captured and subjected to more torturous experiments.

So Kakashi would talk with her and convince her that it was pointless to even attempt going after Orochimaru. He'd make sure he got the message across.

After a few more twists and turns the pair came up in front of a dark green apartment complex. He recognized the neighborhood earlier when they had entered it and now that he thought about it, it made sense that Anko lived here. This was the part of the village where a lot of shinobi lived; you could say that for just about any part of the village but this one even more so. What was unique about this area was that it had a lot of apartment complexes with spaces meant for only one person. So when a person finally moved out of their parent's place they usually ended up here, unless they were already married or engaged to be. That made it so just about every bachelor and bachelorette shinobi in their twenties was clustered around one square block.

If he could help it Kakashi avoided this place for fear of being asked out on a date by a kunoichi drunk enough to approach him. Luckily it was the still the middle of the day and most of them were probably on duty. Plus he was with Anko so they would stay away for fear of being attacked.

Anko slipped out a key from who knows where and quickly opened up the front door to her complex. He followed her inside without a word, just like it had been for the short walk here. He knew that the moment they were alone in her place she would bombard him with questions again, but all information about Orochimaru was sensitive so he had to be careful.

The main entrance was well lit by an old crystal chandelier that seemed like it was about to fall on the ground and break into a thousand pieces at any moment. But they passed through the area without incident and started down the corridor on the left.

Never having been in this particular building before, Kakashi took to examining the place as he passed. He immediately noticed that the residents liked to decorate their doors with pictures or trinkets that expressed their individuality. Most of the women's were brightly colored with intricate pictures or fashionable fabrics spread across. While the men's doors had photos of animals or weapons out on display. One particularly interesting door had a chalkboard where people would write messages or insults. Kakashi wondered what he would have done with his own door if he hadn't joined Anbu.

At the end of the hallway Kakashi spotted a pitch-black door with a snakeskin pinned on by a rusty nail, and sure enough Anko walked straight toward it and pushed the door open. He wasn't all that surprised that Anko didn't lock her door. You'd have to be crazy to try and steal anything from her given that she was known to draw blood from people who just looked at her the wrong way. Kakashi followed her in and quickly locked in the deadbolt after shutting the door.

Her apartment was fairly dark, only a small amount of light crept in through the blinds on the one window he could see. She promptly walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a matchbox and began lighting candles around the place so they could see. As more of the apartment became visible Kakashi noticed the distinct design and decoration. The main room they were in was actually a dining area/kitchen with a long counter-top separating the two areas. It was also connected to another spacious room filled with a few saggy couches and leather chairs.

Both rooms had dark-shaded paint on the walls, but it was impossibly hard to pick out the exact color. There are several simple-looking bar stools at the counter, but they were caked with dusk and obviously hadn't been used in quite some time. The large circular dining table was accompanied by three wooden chairs, a fourth one with a broken leg pushed off into a corner.

The table itself was a number of different colors. It seems to have originally been tan, but several spots had been taken over by spilled paint and one place in particular was a deep crimson. Papers and other junk were strewn about on top, clearly set there with no organizational plan. Other items littered the floor, with several of them being sharp or rusty weapons, posing a serious danger to anyone not paying attention to where they stepped. There was a large green shelving unit that took up a whole wall and it was stuffed with so many objects that there was a pile forming in front of it. Over in the kitchen area dirty pots and pans were overflowing from the sink, and razor sharp cooking knives were sticking out of just about everywhere. A small closet only had half a door and the food inside seemed to be stored just as haphazardly as everything else in the apartment.

One thing that stuck out from all the rest was when Kakashi spotted several open doors leading to other rooms. Most were only cracked open a bit, but he was definitely able to see well inside the rooms. The strange thing was that they were all lighter and more neutral colored, and everything inside seemed to be in perfect order. It was almost as if two different people lived in the apartment, although he knew that no one would be brave enough to live with Anko considering her reputation. He noticed the bedroom door was almost fully open and was able to see a large queen-sized bed draped in plain white sheets. The rest of the room was equally simple looking, with only a neatly packed desk and a nightstand with a lamp. At first he thought that Anko might actually have a roommate until he spotted a jacket draped over a chair that was the exact type of thing that Anko would wear.

It was then that he realized that all the clutter in the main room was just a ruse. A trick to fool anybody who was invited inside into believing that she was exactly what she pretended to be. But in truth she was just as normal as anyone else.

Anko finished lighting the last candle and stored the matchbox back away before going to another drawer and shuffling around for something else.

"Okay, I think it is time we started talking," Kakashi said, crossing his arms over his chest. An object whizzed by his head as Anko turned around to face him. He could hear the thunk as the kunai dug into the door behind him, but he didn't even flinch. He still had the same sleepily bored expression on his face that he could usually be seen with.

"No, I think it is time you started talking!" Anko replied, a sinister grin creeping across her face.

"I really don't think that kunai are necessary," Kakashi responded. Another weapon flew by and implanted into the door, this one coming close to cutting a streak across his cheek.

"Oh, I think they are," Anko said, "I like knives, and I'm pretty good at using them. Now, tell me what I want to know!"

"What happened to feeding me?" Kakashi questioned lazily, moving away from the door where she seemed intent on pinning him. The couch looked much more comfortable and maybe she'd be less inclined to throw knives into fabric that could tear.

"If I like what you have to say, Hatake. That was the agreement!" Her cheeks were slightly flushed and her eyes glittered maniacally in the candlelight.

For a moment Kakashi wondered if anyone had ever been invited in here – seeing Anko with that deranged expression standing in the middle of this room that fairly screamed insanity would surely have been enough to send them running. A slight smile quirked the corners of his mouth; if he hadn't seen into the bedrooms, into the unguarded moments of emotion that Anko seemed unable to totally exorcise, he might have been slightly concerned too.

As it stood, he rather thought he understood her far better than she understood herself. But that was a result of his training. When he was in Anbu he had been taught to absorb as much information as he could about the opposition. Then he would analyze that information, searching for patterns and sorting out the lies from the truth.

"Fine, fine," he sighed theatrically as he sank back into the comfortable sag of the sofa, "no one has any respect anymore … what happened to the legend of the copy-nin."

The last words were grumbled almost under his breath, but Kakashi couldn't resist peeking up at Anko. The sight of the beautiful vein twitching in her forehead nearly had him smiling before he reclined fully and stared expectantly up at her.

Anko swallowed, once, twice, forced herself not to rise to his words; to ignore him and focus on professional questioning. With all her might she tried to remember every technique she'd ever heard Ibiki mention… and promptly decided that with her current prey none of them would be effective. The only way was to appeal to his honor as a Konoha shinobi.

She sat down on a mushy blue chair opposing him and then started her appeal. "Look, Kakashi. I'm not looking to get killed, I don't particularly want to take on Orochimaru, better than anyone I know how suicidal that would be. But he was inside Konoha! He's after the Uchiha kid and we can't just let him get away with it!"

She took a deep breath and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands, and leveled Kakashi with a piercing stare.

"I was his apprentice. I know how he works, what he's like. I'm not saying I'm a match for him but I stand a better chance than anyone else. Just tell me what you know and I'll take care of it before he does something to really harm the Uchiha or Konoha."

Without moving Kakashi returned her stare, the blank, dark orb revealing nothing though the way he spoke testified to the careful consideration that had gone into choosing the words.

"The way I hear it you didn't even get a chance in the Forest of Death-″

"He took me by surprise! I didn't have time to plan properly-″

Her heated words were cut off by a single, suddenly intense, glare from the usually laid-back man.

"And even if you did have time to plan you still couldn't take him on alone! None of us could! You don't have to do this alone, Anko. I wish you'd realize that – he's all of Konoha's responsibility and in due time the Hokage will let us know how we're going to deal with him."

Suddenly limp hands stop supporting her chin, falling gracefully to dangle over her knees, as her pale features turned downward and she stared into the carpet; no longer able to meet his eyes.

"That's not true. You held him off. It was just you and a sick kid that you had to protect and you still made him retreat."

The words were whispered, low and full of dark undertones that spoke eloquently of inferiority complexes and a sudden doubt in her own capabilities. Despite himself, despite the fact that Kakashi knew that he had to talk her out of this crazy course she seemed hell-bent on following, he couldn't help the slight pangs of pity. He wanted to help her defeat her demons; wished he could give her what she wanted so the defeated look would be wiped from her features and she would be Anko again: crazy, impetuous and full of life.

"Is that what you think happened? You think I held him off, made him retreat?" It was a rhetorical question. He already knew that's what she assumed. She probably picked up the intel by overhearing a conversation, but obviously she didn't know the whole truth.

"Well, isn't it?" Anko asked cautiously, her eyes betraying her hidden fears.

"No, that's not what happened at all," Kakashi revealed, his tone turned low and dark as he shook his head, "Don't get me wrong, I would have loved to be able to cause someone as powerful as a Legendary Sannin to retreat, but that wasn't the case. Orochimaru left all on his own. He could have taken Sasuke Uchiha, and I probably would have tried dying to protect him, but instead Orochimaru decided to leave the boy be for the time being."

"I don't understand," Anko replied, sitting back in dissatisfaction, "Why would he do that?"

"I suspect for the same reason he left you. That cursed seal is supposed to do something, it has some purpose that we don't know about. You managed to figure out how to suppress it, so that could be why he is not interested in you anymore. Or maybe he is still interested in you and he is just waiting for something to happen before he can come and get you."

"You think that I'm still on his side?" she questioned, anger fueling her accusatory stare. Anko couldn't believe that someone as intelligent as Kakashi could still think she was working for the snake Sannin. She also couldn't believe that he had the audacity to directly accuse her of such a thing.

"I didn't say that you would want to go with him willingly," the copy-nin amended quickly, "Besides, it is just a theory. Honestly I don't know, you'd know more about it than me."

After a few moments she shrewdly asked, "You're not lying are you? Just telling me some bullshit about not being able to fight him so that I will get scared and back down."

"I'm not lying," he stated, in a deadly serious tone, "He didn't even make one move towards me."

"Whatever," she dismissed with a huff, then turned her head away and stared at the wall, "You still posed enough of a threat to make him reconsider attacking, as opposed to me whom he took on just for sport."

"He went after you just to mess with you," Kakashi stated with the utmost certainty, "And it looks like it worked."

"Ugh, none of this matters anyways. I still have to go after him. I need to know everything he said to you, you can't leave out any detail. He may have made it seem like a game, but everything he says and does has meaning. It is one of the first things I learned from him. Never do anything without a reason, and always have a reason for doing something."

"No," Kakashi said flatly.

"No, what?" she pressed.

"I'm not going to tell you anything else," he announced.

"What? But you said-" Anko argued.

He intently cut her off, "And I'm not going to let you go after him by yourself either."

She started to dispute, to fight back, but then she noticed the loophole he left in his statement. "Okay," the special Jounin uttered gingerly.

"Really? That's it? You're just going to give up so easily?" Kakashi asked, honestly surprised.

"Not at all," the purple-haired girl assured, sitting back in her seat and crossing one leg over another.

"Then what was the okay for?" he queried hesitantly.

"Okay, I won't go by myself," she stated with a queer grin, "You can come with me."

She didn't want to team up with anybody in this, she wanted to do it all on her own. But if having him come along would get her the information she needed, then she would have to suffer through an uncomfortable partnership. She didn't trust Kakashi yet, especially with that mask covering his face, but his skill set would certainly come in handy so he was as good an option as any.

"Nice try, but I'm not going to fall for that," he said, catching on to her game. He wasn't going to be tricked that easily.

"Did the Hokage specifically order you not to go after Orochimaru?" she sternly questioned.

"No, but..." he started to clarify.

She cut him off, "Then I don't see what the problem. If you don't think I can handle the job on my own then come with me and help out."

This was going in the wrong direction, fast. This wasn't how Kakashi had planned it. He needed to think up an excuse quickly otherwise he might find himself going on a suicide mission with an emotionally unstable kunoichi as his partner. He searched for something, anything, that would give him a good reason not to go. In the end he decided to go with a general reason instead of a specific one. "I have responsibilities here in the village," he sighed, trying to be as convincing as possible, "I can't just go running off chasing after Orochimaru."

"We need to make the first strike against him. That is the only way that we'll stand a chance against him," Anko contended, "If we don't go after him now, then he'll come back and he'll take the Uchiha no matter how many Anbu you have stationed around his room."

"Even if we..." he started to debate.

Again she interrupted him, "Look, I'm asking for your help, Kakashi. I don't get along with others well and certainly don't ask them for help, so maybe that will give you some insight into how determined I am to see this through."

He could hear the desperation in her voice; see it all over her body. In the way her fingers gripped tightly to her overcoat, in the subtle way she uncrossed her legs and scooted to the edge of the seat. This isn't something she did often, and he could tell she was uncomfortable with this kind of situation. Then it hit him, he looked deep into her pleading eyes and saw what was really going on.

"This isn't about Sasuke is it?" he sensed, "Why can't you just leave Orochimaru in the past? Why do you need to go after him?"

"It's just something that I need to do," she replied casually, trying to dissuade him from prying any further.

"Why?" he asked again.

"I just have to," she said softly, not wanting to speak her reasons aloud.

"Why?" he kept pushing.

Finally his efforts started to break through. Anko leaned back, her hands fell to her side and she sighed as she tried to express herself, "Because I...I just..."

"You what?" Kakashi asked gently, forcing himself to sit quietly, as if she was a frightened deer that would be startled by the smallest movement.

"I-I … I just have to, alright?" she nearly shouted the words, springing to her feet and pacing the length of the room agitatedly. In that moment, she reminded him of nothing so much as of a caged tiger.

"Anko, are you trying to prove something? Are you thinking that if you surpass Orochimaru, defeat him, then maybe, finally, everyone will stop seeing you as his little shadow, waiting for you to slip up and show your true allegiance? Or is it that you're trying to get back at someone you once trusted?"

Her footsteps froze but Kakashi didn't turn to look at her – her pacing had taken her out of his immediate view – instead he remained where he was, in a carefully relaxed posture though all senses were tuned for any sign of an attack. It was Anko, after all, and he had no idea of how she would react. Likely, she wasn't even aware of the fact that he knew something of her background and, knowing Anko, she wouldn't appreciate him drawing attention to it; he could already feel the wounded pride emanating from her. Slow and deliberate, the footfalls sounded on the floorboards as she walked back around the couch; her posture stiff and tense as she lowered herself to sit on her chosen chair and leveled Kakashi with an even gaze.

"You don't know me, Hatake. So don't pretend that you can guess at my motivations."

Her tone was quiet but her fingers twisted together in agitation as if that was the only way she could keep from reaching for a weapon to skewer him with.

"I'm not," he kept his tone gentle and even, "But I do know your history, Anko. I know that Orochimaru is responsible for a lot of sadness in your past. But, take it from someone who knows, revenge isn't the way. You'll be eaten up by the anger and the hate until you're no better than the one you sought to destroy."

Dark bangs covered her eyes with dipping shadows; all he could see was her lips moving, barely, as she whispered in a trembling voice that was so unlike her he had to strain his hearing to make sure of what she said.

"You – you couldn't possibly begin to understand. Your father … this is different. Orochimaru's vile and evil …" the words trailed away into a quiet catching of her breath.

Surprise didn't happen to Kakashi often but this time he was taken off guard by the slight hitch to her voice – was she crying? Anko? Slowly, he shifted forward until he sat on the very edge of the seat, near enough to make out the silvery tracks of silent tears that shone silver on her cheeks.

"He is, Anko. That's the point. Orochimaru is an abomination. And you're very wrong if you're thinking that you must be one, too, if even the original rejected you."

Tension ran nearly palpably up and down her frozen frame, her fingers stilled and she bit her lip as more tears streamed down to drip off her chin and land on her lap.

"What do you know, Hatake," she mumbled at last, though the words lacked her usual fire.

Deciding to take the bull by the horns, that they had danced around each other long enough, Kakashi rose from his perch to crouch in front of the crying woman. She immediately reared back but a hand under her chin forced her to face him and Kakashi spoke seriously, hoping almost against hope that he would convince her with his words because he had no other weapons left in his arsenal – not for this.

"What I know is that you've been a loyal Konoha shinobi for all these years; despite the doubt and the mistrust you've done your utmost to keep our home safe. I know that you nearly died when Orochimaru left you and that you almost died again in your only encounter with him since. And I know that I don't want you to die, Anko. So, please, for once, accept that all burdens aren't yours alone to bear. Let your friends help you. There are many people in this village that would stand by you, to whom you've proven yourself … if only you'd give us a chance."

Hazel eyes flew to his face, Kakashi could feel them trying to dig under the mask, trying to read the sincerity of his words and his actions, and his heart leapt at the thought that he'd managed to break through Anko's unscaleable walls. He forced every ounce of earnestness that he could gather to show in his visible eye as he met her gaze steadily. Teardrops sparkled like diamonds on her lashes, the slight flush of tears to her cheeks making her appear younger and softer than Kakashi had ever thought possible.

Slowly, hesitantly, she reached out to him, one hand placed lightly on either side of his cloth-covered face, "How is it that you see into my head so easily?"

"I don't. It's not easy. I can't just look at someone and tell what they are feeling," Kakashi admitted, backing away and sitting back down, "And even if I could it wouldn't mean that I understand them. That's why I listen and observe and try to connect the dots. But no one can truly understand you unless you let them. Let me in, Anko, talk to me. I can help you."

"Why?" she asked, after standing and turning her back to him. She wrapped her arms around her shoulders, hugging herself for security.

He started to respond but she continued on, obviously not interested in his words.

"That's the question isn't it? Why this or why that. Why him or why me. Why no or why yes. Why why why why why?" she vented.

Kakashi stayed silent, letting her vent out the things she's been holding inside for all these years.

"So you think you can help me? You can't help me. No one can, because no one can understand how I feel. No one wants to understand how I feel," she stated, emphasizing the last sentence as fact, "No one would want to understand how I feel. I don't even want to understand how I feel. It makes me sick sometimes just thinking about it. Physically sick. You say you want to understand, but if I tell you, you won't want to understand."

"Anko, you can trust me," he assured her, "Let me understand, let me help you."

"Why? Why me? Why did he have to pick me? Sure, I was gifted, but I wasn't the only one in my age group. So why did he choose me? Did he know? Could he already tell how easily he would be able to manipulate me? Could he predict that I would become so infatuated with him that I would overlook things that I knew were wrong? Was he able to see that I would be so weak?"

"Anko, you..."

"Just let me say it Kakashi," she cut him off, "You said you wanted me to let you in, so that's what I am doing."

"Okay," he agreed solemnly.

"Why? Why was I so stupid? Why couldn't I see the truth? Why did I do anything he asked of me without giving it a second thought? Why did I get so caught up in how he made me feel that I couldn't see what he truly was?"

Kakashi kept a close eye on her, watching and waiting for her to lash out and start destroying things. But she didn't because she wasn't angry at anything or anyone except herself.

"But do you know what the really bad part is? The truly awful part is that I keep asking myself why. Why didn't he take me with him? Was I too weak? Was I defective? Why was I not worthy of being taken with? I survived the curse mark, didn't I? I passed the test, so why did he leave me behind? Over and over I ask the question but I can never find the answer."

Anko paced back and forth as she talked. The words exploded from her mouth, like they had been packed tightly inside and were just waiting to get out. The purple-haired girl was speaking to Kakashi, but as she went on it seemed more and more like he was merely a feature of the room and she was having a conversation with herself. She struggled to express things that she had never been able to speak aloud before, and it helped her to pretend as if no one else was there with her.

"I said that last part was the worst, but I lied. Want to know what the real revolting part is? Why? Why do I know deep down in my heart that I would have happily gone with him? I would have done anything to be with him. I would be a slave, whore, dog, murder, terrorist, psychopath, monster. I'd be standing right by his side, following any order he gave me. And I would love every minute of it because I would get to be with him."

The copy-nin listened closely as the words flowed out from her. He tried to examine each statement, each word and understand where they were coming from.

"I hate myself. I'm sick. I'm dirt. I'm disgusting. I'm trash. I'm a worthless piece of filthy garbage that doesn't even deserve to be alive. Why am I such an ugly perverted human being?"

Her whole body was shaking, her nails dug into her coat as she continued on her tirade of hate and self-loathing.

"Stop, just stop. Stop doing this to yourself," Kakashi shouted, unable to stay mute any longer, "You're not any of those things. You're just girl that was used and twisted by an evil man. You were young and innocent and naive like we all once were. You fell in love with him because he paid attention to you, made you feel important, made you feel special. He took advantage of you and manipulated you to suit his own desires. You did nothing wrong, none of this is your fault."

"I know, I know it isn't my fault. But I can't help it," she pleaded, finally acknowledging him, "I can't stop feeling like it is my fault and I can't stop feeling the way I feel."

"But that isn't the way you feel. That is the way that he made you feel. And as long as you keep letting him control the way you feel you will never be able to put this behind you," Kakashi urged, wanting to go over and hold her but knowing that doing so might cause a violent reaction and send her spiraling down the wrong path.

"I've tried. I've tried but I can't. I hate it! I hate him!" she cried out, so many tears having flowed from her eyes that they turned red, "I don't want to feel this way! I want to be different, I want to feel different. I want to feel something else."

"Then do it. All you have to do is decide. Just make the choice," Kakashi said, his fierce eyes trying to communicate the strong belief he had in his own statement.

"Help me, Kakashi, I can't do this by myself. Help me feel different. Make me feel better."

Suddenly she was on top of him. Her arms pushing him back into the couch as she mounted him. Somehow she had slipped out of her brown overcoat and it was tossed onto the floor. Her breasts, bound by their mesh covering, were pressing up against his chest and she started planting kisses on his neck.

For a moment the pleasure was paralyzing. Kakashi could focus on nothing except the softness of her smaller frame pressed against him and the slide of wet kisses down the line of his neck. To a shinobi of his caliber, who had ceaselessly trained his brain to always overcome his senses and emotions, even a fraction of a second of not being in control was enough to get the alarm bells ringing.

His hands lifted, palms curling around the curve of her shoulders; ready to push her away. But she was warm and willing, and so close … and he'd been alone for too long. Desperation thickly laced through the touches Anko was lavishing on his body; her busy fingers undoing the snaps that held his Jounin vest closed. And suddenly he was wondering if this really was such a bad idea. Wouldn't he just be undoing all the convincing he'd spent the last hour on if he rejected her now? Immediately he gave himself a mental shake – Kakashi didn't believe in lying to himself and he wouldn't stoop so low as to try and justify something like this. Despite the fact that Anko did her best to alienate everyone and everything, he'd seen past that veneer and, now, he couldn't do something like that to her. She deserved better.

The fact of the matter was, he couldn't remember the last time his body had reacted this quickly. His heart was racing, slamming against the cage of his ribs frantically, lust coiled low in his abdomen and the abandonment lurked in his veins; it wouldn't take much to just … let go.

Decision made, he curled his fingers firmly into her flesh and pushed her back. Dark eyes – clouded by lust, and desperation, and something he couldn't quite identify but that spoke to a corresponding longing in his heart – met his single visible eye and Anko stilled, sitting back on his lap and watching him warily. The wariness was what undid him; the fact that beneath the tough exterior she wanted so desperately to just be accepted and Kakashi swallowed hard, trying to ignore the coils of arousal winding tightly around him.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Anko?" he asked softly, staring searchingly into her eyes; hating the disappointment that jerked at his gut when she glanced away in confusion.

Silence fell, thick and uncompromising, and suddenly Kakashi wanted nothing quite as much as he wanted to convince her to want this as much as he did. He wanted to show her that, though they were both alone, they didn't have to be….

Determination firmed her jaw, her eyes blazed brightly into his, and she smirked, "Yes, Kakashi. I'm sure."

It was enough. It had to be. Because he suddenly realized how little control he really had. He couldn't draw his gaze away from the trembling line of her lower lip; the slight pout hooking and drawing him irresistibly forward. Slowly, gently, despite the clamoring of his body, Kakashi reached one gloved hand up, cupping her cheek, fingers stroking along the soft skin.

A slow, dizzying pulse of anticipation thundered in his ears as she succumbed to the pressure of his fingers and leaned forward, hands braced on his chest, though he could feel the slight trembles that wracked her frame from time to time. Whether it was answering anticipation or the remnants of tears he didn't know but suddenly nothing was as important as making her forget her tears and the reasons for them. Anko … she was Anko, and he hated to see her vulnerable, though he couldn't contain the brief flaring of masculine protectiveness and pride that she would choose to show that vulnerability to him – a side of Anko that was purely his.

Her face was only centimeters away from his. Her eyes stared straight into his as she slowly reached up and tugged down his mask. She didn't even look down to see what he was hiding as she moved her head in closer. Lips met, softly, hesitantly, with increasing pressure as the slow burn spiraled out of control and manifested in rampant desire running up and down his spine like electric shocks. Her tongue slipped out, a quick, wet swipe at his lower lip, but it was enough to convince Kakashi, finally, that this was what she wanted.

His hands slid around to cup her head, angling her for a deeper kiss, tongues tangled sinuously around each other, and his fingers burrowed into her hair. The strands were surprisingly soft, silky, and the primal instinct that seemed to have taken hold of him drove him to bury his fingers deeper. Roughly he reached up, fingers tangling in the spiky strands that fell from the ponytail high on her head. The barrier was becoming increasingly irritating and with a gasp Kakashi wrenched his mouth away from hers, sitting up and pulling her with him in one smooth motion. For the first time in his life, it didn't matter that his face was mask-free; it didn't bother him that she was trailing wondering fingertips over his jaw.

The tie ripped from her hair, the strands flowing smoothly, a waterfall of inky blackness down to her shoulders, framing her face and making her appear softer … younger. The touch gentled, his fingers stroking softly through the strands, wrapping them around his questing digits.

She squealed, her arms and legs wrapping around his shoulders and hips instinctively as Kakashi suddenly rose to his feet. Hungry kisses swallowed any protests or reprimands she might have had as he carried her unerringly to her bedroom, trailing clothing in their wake. By the time he laid her down onto the smooth coverlet he was shirtless, her skirt hiked up to nearly around her waist and Kakashi swallowed hard as he tried to suppress his reaction to the sight of her; all kiss-swollen lips, dazed eyes and disheveled clothing with her hair spread on the pillow below her head.

It was too much while being not nearly enough and for the first time in a long time Kakashi gave himself over wholly to the emotions and urges that ran rampantly through his veins. Impatiently he settled next to her and pulled the annoying articles of clothing from her body until she lay spread before him; tanned, toned skin giving way to paler patches but all of it so soft and silky that he couldn't bear to stop touching her. The flat of his palm brushed sure strokes down her ribs and over her stomach, along her thighs and back up; until fingertips were just barely brushing against her curves.

Anko panted softly, skin stained with color, eyes closed as she gave herself over to the touches. His gaze sharpened, as he noticed, every time he drew his hands over her hips she would tense and he couldn't understand why. Not until, with slight pressure against either knee, he gently coaxed her to open her legs further. He could clearly see the way she fought against the urge to cover herself, her face turned away, half-buried in the pillow, blushing furiously as she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood.

Like a light bulb going off he suddenly understood; forced himself to not falter as he slowly, inexorably, traced a line along her inner thigh. If at first it seemed unbelievable, now he knew the truth, it made a lot of sense that Anko would be a virgin. She would never have been comfortable enough to trust intimacy with another like this and the fact that she was making an obvious effort to do so with him made something in the region of his heart tighten. Something he didn't want to examine too closely.

He leaned over her, kissing around the curve of one breast, not moving his other hand from her thigh, and sucked hard, petting the pebbled tip with his tongue. Anko arched, her hands settling into his hair, fingers tightening almost painfully, as she moaned low in her throat. She was writhing under him, hips restlessly seeking, and the wanton abandonment had clearly replaced any apprehension so Kakashi tentatively inched his fingers on her inner thigh higher. Wet, slick heat enveloped the tips of his fingers and, ignoring the surprised gasp from the woman beneath him, he pushed forward relentlessly; curling his fingers inside of her and exultant excitement raced through him at her broken moan of pleasure.

Conscious thought faded and there was only the smooth glide of skin on skin, wet mouths and desperation. He couldn't think, could only feel but throughout the whirlwind of emotion and physical ecstasy he couldn't help but hope that Anko was equally lost – her eyes were hazed and she seemed as lost as he was but, as he aligned himself and slowly pushed into her body for the first time, he hoped she could feel the connection reaching into her very soul. She didn't have to be alone, not ever. But that was the last coherent thought he was capable of as she convulsed around him and he followed her body down the blackness of all-consuming feeling and through to the inevitable explosion of pure, blazing pleasure.

Kakashi lay on top of the silky, white sheets, his head cushioned on a soft pillow and his arms wrapped around Anko's naked form as she curled up against him. Neither of them had really spoken or made any sound in a while, they had just remained resting in that position, trying to recover from the experience. There was no clock in the room and the curtains were closed so he had no idea what time it was. They had been so focused on each other during the love making that time didn't seem to exist anymore. It had felt like they were joined together for days, but in reality it could have been hours or even minutes. Yet it didn't really matter how much time had passed, the only thing that mattered was they didn't feel alone anymore.

Anko stared at the blank wall. She knew they'd have to get up eventually, she had watch duty to report for and he probably had something to do as well. However, she didn't want to be the first one to say anything and ruin the mood. Partly because she didn't know what to say, but also because she didn't want the moment, the feeling, to end. After they had finished and the copy-ninja had wrapped his arm around her waist to cuddle she had started to really think about everything they just did and everything it meant.

She'd never given herself to anyone before, ever. Not even Orochimaru. He was the one she always wanted to give her virginity to, the one she always dreamed of giving it to. Even after he had betrayed the village and become a sworn enemy she still had feelings for him. Way back in the deep, dark recesses of her mind she always hoped that her body would be his one day. Whether he rescinded his ways and gave up on evil, or if she was captured and his body forced upon her she always thought it would be him. That's why she had saved herself, put up the walls to scare away anyone from trying to be intimate with her.

But now that illusion had been broken. She was finally able to realize that she was the one who decided. Her fate didn't rest in the hands of Orochimaru, it was in her own. And it was Kakashi who had helped her realize that, accept it. She had been hesitant to go all the way at first. She had told him that she wanted it, but her heart and body weren't sure. It was only once he was inside of her that she knew she didn't have to be scared anymore. She could finally let go and stop feeling guilty about wanting to be with someone. She didn't have to be lonely anymore.

"I'll stop," she breathed, it was barely more than a whisper but the silence in the room made the words clear.

"Stop what?" Kakashi asked softly, already aware of the answer, but knowing that to truly move on she needed to say it out loud.

"I won't go after Orochimaru," she said, "I'll give up my quest for personal vengeance and stop trying to take care of him on my own. I'll let the village worry about him from now on."

"That's good to hear. I would have had sex with you from the start if I would've known that would make you change your mind," Kakashi jested.

Anko thrust an elbow back into his ribs causing him to expel a grunt of pain. "Don't push your luck," she warned, falling back into her old habits for a moment.

"Sorry," he apologized quickly, "I know you've been through a lot today. Both good and bad."

"I know," she replies, letting him wrap his arm around her again.

"Just remember, you don't have to be alone," he whispered into her ear, "There are lots of people that are willing to help you through this. One of them is me, and I will always be there for you if you want me to be."

"Do you mean that, or are you just leaving the door open so you can get me into bed again?" she asked jokingly with a small chuckle. But the laugh was a mask to hide her insecurity.

"Anko," he sighed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean it," she apologized, "I'm just not used to this. I've never let anyone this close. I've never let anyone see the real me since..."

"Since Orochimaru," Kakashi finished, "I know that. You don't have to be afraid to admit that, not with me."

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"You're welcome"

"So what happens now?" Anko asked hesitantly, not entirely sure of where things were headed.

"Well, I'm heading off with Sasuke later today. I'm going to start preparing him for what he will have to face in the future. We'll be training away from the village until the final stage of the Chunnin exams start," Kakashi explained, "But once I get back then we can see where we want to go with this."

"Do you really think this could work? I mean us, together?" she asked, turning to face him for the first time since after their intimacy.

"I don't know for sure," Kakashi admitted, "But I know I'm willing to try if you are."

"Okay," she says finally after a long silence, "This could be my chance to finally move on. You could be my chance."

"This could be my chance as well. Maybe I also don't have to be alone anymore. Maybe I have finally found someone to help me get over all the loss I have had in my life. Maybe we can heal each other by being together. But still, as broken as she is I shouldn't lay down all of my problems on her yet. For now, I'll keep them to myself."

They embraced each other one last time, lips touching softly but passionately, making the most of the remaining time they had together before they had to head out into the world again. How things would turn out, neither of them knew. But they did know that they would always remember that night and this moment of realized that, though others had left them behind, they didn't have to be alone.

a/n: Review ….? Pretty please ^^