Jayfeathers Room of Lightning, Chapter 1

I look alive

I'm dead inside

my heart has holes

where black blood flows

we'll do some drugs

and fall in love

and get fucked up

while the world just shrugs

"This love, this hate, is burning me away!" Jayfeather sang at the top of his lungs. "It's hard to face the world!"

"Shut up!" Hollyleaf, his sister snapped. "I'm trying to read."

"Screw you," Jayfeather muttered. "I'll sing if I like!" Jayfeather proceeded to sing the rest of the song, making Hollyleaf throw her book at him. "Go sing in your freaking room or I'll tell dad," she screamed. Jayfeather flinched, not wanting to get into a conflict with his dad, Crowfeather.

I don't know what I'm worried about, Jayfeather thought to himself. It's not like Crowfeather would care anyway.

Jayfeather refused to call Crowfeather "dad" unless it was to his face. This was mainly because he heard him talking to Leafpool about how he didn't want him in the first place.

They just wanted Hollyleaf, Jayfeather thought mutinously. They didn't want me at all.

"Paging doctor faggot!" Graystripe shouted the minute Jayfeather walked into the room. Jayfeather forced himself not to be upset and shot back, "Gaystripe!"

Graystripe shut his mouth with a snap of his jaw, obviously angered. "Shut up, you loser!" he snapped before sitting down.

"Fuck you, you worthless piece of -"

"Jayfeather!" the teachers shocked voice made Jayfeather stop talking with a jolt.

"He started it," Jayfeather mumbled.

"I don't care who the hell started it!" the teacher howled. "Go out into the hall and stay there!"

Jayfeather decided not to point out that teachers shouldn't say hell in front of other students and walked outside without an argument.

"You're parents are getting a phone call home!" the teacher called after him.

"I don't fucking care!" Jayfeather hoped they would call his parents, he would love to see the look on Crowfeathers face when he found out his 12 year old son dropped the f-bomb in the middle of class. He sat there on the floor and waited for a teacher to come out and scold him.

Twenty minutes later, no one had shown up.

Those idiots probably forgot about me, Jayfeather thought. Oh well. It's not like anything they could have said would have done anything,. Jayfeather got up and started walking down the hall, kicking a garbage can over on his way. The trash cascaded all the way down the hall, making Jayfeather laugh.

I might as well just go home, Jayfeather thought. I really don't feel like staying at school any longer.

Jayfeather walked out the front doors, but stopped when a teacher charged up to him.

"Recess is not for another two hours!" he huffed. "Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go smoke some crystal meth," Jayfeather retorted. "Now excuse me, my spoon is losing its heat."

The teacher gaped at him and Jayfeather took the opportunity to shove his way past him and out onto the street. Cars raced by him, making his black hair stand straight up on his head. Jayfeather stuck out his thumb and hoped someone would stop.

Unfortunately, no one did.

Jayfeather sighed and proceeded to walk back in the direction oh his house.

Wait, why am I going back home? Jayfeather thought. I'll just get into even more trouble. Jayfeather promptly turned and started walking the other way.

"Jayfeather!" Crowfeather yelled. "Come here, NOW!"

"I'm busy!" Jayfeather yelled back, eyes not moving from the TV. He could hear Crowfeather grumbling angrily as he stomped up the stairs to Jayfeathers room.

"I just got a phone call from your principal," Crowfeather snapped, eyes narrowed angrily. "For cursing in class. Then she mentioned something about you offering a teacher crystal meth?"

"It was a joke," Jayfeather said flatly.

"It was a joke that no twelve year old kid should be making," Crowfeather snapped. "God, Jayfeather, why can't you be more like your sister?"

Jayfeather felt a lump rise in his throat and his eyes began to sting. "Why can't you leave me the hell alone?" he choked out.

"I wish I could," Crowfeather threatened. "I didn't want you in the first place."

"Go to hell!" Jayfeather screamed.

"Not before you, you annoying little brat-"

"Daddy?" Hollyleafs quiet voice entered the room. Crowfeather stopped yelling at once. "Hey, sweetheart," he cooed. "Go to your room, okay? Daddy's having a little talk with your brother."

Hollyleaf did as she was told, and Crowfeather turned back to look at his son.

"Smarten up," he growled, then walked out of the room. Jayfeather sat trembling on his bed, holding his Nintendo controller with shaking hands. I hate him, he thought angrily. I wish he were dead.

"But Jayfeather, your dad still loves you," Flametail said. Flametail was Jayfeathers imaginary friend.

"He doesn't love me," Jayfeather scoffed. "You heard him, he said he never wanted me in the first place."

"He didn't mean that," Flametail whispered. Jayfeather glared at him. "Uh, yeah. I think he did."

"Well what are you going to do? Or, what would you like to do?" Flametail pressed.

"I'd like to lock him in the room of lightning," Jayfeather hissed. "Just like he did to me."

Flametail looked down at Jayfeathers shaking hands, burned with electrical scars.

"You need to let that go," Flametail said under his breath. "It happened so long ago..."

"I don't care," Jayfeather said miserably. Flametail widened his eyes in surprise at Jayfeathers next words.

"He will pay for what he did to me."