AN: So! My first Final Fantasy XIII story. Background: I was watching The L Word this evening and Alice's Chart made an appearance. This plot bunny sprang up because of that and it refused to leave me alone until I wrote it down. Let me know what you all think!

"We're back…"

Vanille took slow, careful steps towards the ruined central square of Oerba. Looking around, it was almost as if she had double vision. In one eye she saw the home she remembered, sunny skies, flowers everywhere, children chasing each other through the square as parents looked on with gentle smiles. In the other eye she saw the reality, crumbling buildings, Cie'th ambling down dark alleyways, bloodstains on ruined brick walls. For Vanille, reconciling the two realities was extremely difficult.

A low, pained groan caught Vanille's attention and she looked up to see Fang and Lightning finishing off a lone Vetala. Their movements, as always, were like a deadly and beautiful dance; perfectly synchronized as if they had taken the time to choreograph the entire battle beforehand. As the Cie'th fell to the ground, Fang kicked in a rusted door and poked her head inside, checking for any danger. The warrior turned back to the group, her trademark smirk on her face, "This place is all clear. We can rest up here tonight."

Vanille looked at the dilapidated building more carefully and let out a small gasp of recognition, "Fang," she glanced at the taller Oerban, "You do know what this place is, right?"

"Sure do. Why else do ya think I chose it? Plenty of room and a bed for each of us, for once." Fang grinned.

Hope looked around, taking in the multiple beds lining the walls, the desks in the back left corner and the faded drawings on the walls, "What is this place?"

"It's the orphanage Fang and I grew up in." Vanille said softly.

Fang put her hand on hip and glanced around the room, "Yeah. Lots of good times here. If memory serves, Vanille lost her virginity in that bed you're sitting on Sazh." Fang laughed as Sazh leapt to his feet and practically ran away from the bed in question. Muttering something about how there were some things a man of his age really did not need to know.

"Wha..? How do you know that?" Vanille crossed her arms over her chest and tried in vain to not look like a gorgonopsid caught in the headlights.

A mischievous grin broke out on Fang's face, "You weren't exactly quiet about it, Van. Besides, even though everyone else was at the festival, did you really think I wouldn't follow you and your little boy toy back here?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Vanille had a boy toy?" Snow laughed as Vanille turned redder than a flandragora.

"Oh yeah, and that was just the start. Vanille had quite the reputation around Oerba before we were turned l'Cie. All started with that boy toy, what was his name, Van?"

As Vanille was stammering and trying to maintain what little composure she had left, Lightning pushed off of the wall she had been leaning against and snapped, "As interesting as Vanille's sex life is, we need firewood and food for tonight. Hope, Sazh, you're with me. You three get this place ready to bunk down in." The soldier turned sharply and left before any of the companions could protest. Hope shrugged at Sazh and the two followed Lightning out the door.

As soon as they had gone, Vanille rounded on the taller Oerban and gave her a death glare, "Really, Fang? You just HAD to mention that? Now they all think I'm some sort of…" She trailed off, her mouth moving but no sound coming out.

"Slut? Whore? Scarlet woman?" Fang supplied with a grin.

"YES!"

"Well, you kinda were, Van. As much as I love ya, your libido can sorta fry your brain sometimes." The dark-skinned Oerban said over her shoulder as she walked over to Snow to help set up a table that had been shoved on its side against the far wall. "Do ya remember your chart?"

"Chart?" Snow asked with a chuckle.

Fang looked back at Vanille as the red-head pouted on the "virginity bed". She couldn't help but laugh, "Oh yeah, after Vanille discovered the wonderful world of sex she started an experiment that traced everyone in the village back to each other by who they had had sex with. Vanille claimed that she could link everyone, well every adult, in the village by six people or less"

"And I did, didn't I? The Chart worked!" Vanille huffed, and rose from her place on the "virginity bed" to help gather chairs for the table.

"Yeah, I'll give ya that one. It did work. Kinda creepy, really. I wonder if it's still around here." Fang glanced around the room.

"It's probably long since been destroyed, Fang." Vanille picked up another chair and set it next to the table.

"Uhhh, guys, do you mean this chart?" Snow asked as he reached behind a rotting bookcase and pulled out a large, slightly decaying corkboard.

Fang barked out a laugh and wrapped her arms around her middle to try and stifle the more uproarious laughter that threatened to burst forth while Vanille stared at the corkboard in slight awe.

Vanille dashed over and grabbed The Chart from Snow's grip, "Oh, Maker. It is! I can't believe it's still intact! Well, mostly" Vanille brushed off a corner of the chart that simply fell apart at her touch. Vanille set The Chart against the wall and studied it. She felt Fang and Snow come up on either side of her to join in the examination.

Snow let out a low whistle, "You weren't kidding, Fang. Look how many lines come from Vanille's name!"

Fang smirked and nudged Vanille's shoulder with her own, "I don't know if I should be proud or disturbed."

Vanille couldn't help but roll her eyes, "You're no slouch either, Fang. Look at your bubble!"

It was true. While Fang's bubble didn't have nearly the amount of lines and names that Vanille's did, the number was still fairly sizable. Fang looked more closely at The Chart, "How many was it that linked us again, Van? Five?"

"Three" The red headed Oerban corrected, "See? Right here." She pointed at the lower left corner of the chart, near Fang's name, "You slept with Cissnei and Cissnei slept with Zack, and then I slept with Zack. And then again over here, " Vanille pointed to a different section, near her own name, "I slept with Selphie who slept with Irvine, who slept with pretty much everyone as you can see, but the important one is Squall, who slept with Rinoa, and you slept with Rinoa. That's the five you're thinking of." Vanille trailed her finger down the line from her name to Fang's name as she listed off the names.

Snow put his hand over his mouth to try and hide his snickering, "This thing is awesome! We should make a newer one when all this is over with everyone's names on it. Wonder how many it'd take to link me to Sazh. Or better yet, Lightning!" Snow doubled over laughing. A loud THUD from behind caused the three to spin around and try to hide their discovery as Lightning, Sazh, and Hope stood over the night's dinner, a Ceratosaur.

Lightning raised a pink eyebrow at them and put her bundle of firewood on the table, "What's that?" she pointed to the chart behind their backs. Fang smirked and explained The Chart to the other three before Vanille could launch herself at the warrior to shut her up. It wouldn't have mattered, anyway, as Snow had grabbed Vanille by the arm when he noticed the shorter Oerban try to fling herself at Fang.

Sazh took a step closer to The Chart, "Well, would you look at that. Fang wasn't kidding about you Vanille, huh?" Vanille wrapped her arms around her middle and tried to not die from embarrassment.

Hope stepped up to look as well, "Yeah, you uhhh," the boy turned redder than Vanille, if that was possible, "You certainly did get around."

Fang bent down and picked up a chunk of charcoal, "And she's got another name to add to the list, too, don't ya, Vanille?" Vanille's eyes widened before they just glared at Fang. Fang simply smiled sweetly and held out the charcoal to Vanille, "Come on, don't be a downer. Put the name up!"

"Okay, okay!" Vanille snatched the charcoal from Fang's outstretched hand and marched back to The Chart. After searching for a moment for a blank spot large enough for the name, she bent down and scribbled the name. After she was done, she backed away as Snow, Sazh, and Hope crowded the corkboard. Lightning just leaned against the far wall and rolled her eyes at their antics.

Snow turned to Vanille, his jaw nearly on the floor, "Lebreau? You slept with Lebreau? When?"

"After the fireworks in Bodhum. I may have been a teensy bit drunk at the time." Vanille put her thumb and forefinger close together.

Snow's deep, booming laugh filled the house, "You and I are connected Vanille! Here, gimme that charcoal." Snow penciled his name in a blank spot and drew a line to Lebreau, "We're connected by one! Gimme a high five!" Vanille had to jump with all her strength to reach Snow's hand, but she made it.

"Is that really something you want to celebrate?" Hope asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

Snow penciled in another name, "You're connected to Serah, too! Check it out!" Snow put up Serah's name and drew a line from her name to his own. Everyone in the room except for the oblivious Snow spared a cautious glance over to Lightning whose eye was starting to twitch.

"All right! Anyone else wanna add their name to The Chart?" Snow held up the charcoal, "Light! Didn't you and Serah date the same guy once?" Lightning's jaw started to twitch as well. The soldier took a deep, cleansing breath and what she did next scared the crap out of everyone in the room except for Fang. She grinned. An evil, maniacal grin.

"If I understand this "chart" correctly, then, yes, my name does belong on it." Lightning walked to Snow and held out her hand for the charcoal. Snow handed it over and watched, mouth agape, as Lightning bent to find a clear spot. After jotting down her name, she started to draw a line. Everyone stared as the line was drawn. They all followed the prim hand and the black line with rapt attention and bated breath.

"No way." Snow breathed while Vanille squealed in excitement, "I knew it!". Sazh palmed his forehead and Hope just stared, his face as red as could be. Fang stood next to Lightning and just smirked.

"You know, Sunshine, when I said last night that I wanted to tell them about us this wasn't really what I had in mind."

"Take what you can get, Fang."

"Oh, I intend to." The Oerban wrapped her arms around the soldier's waist and planted a lusty kiss on her lips.

After they pulled apart, Lightning slowly unsheathed her gunblade, "Snow?"

"Uhh, yeah?"

"You're going to pay for sleeping with my sister. Start running."

Two bullets hit the wall next to the door as Snow scrambled out of the orphanage.