So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
-- Wish You Were Here, Pink Floyd

Why do I consider this necessary? I wanted, first of all, to completely clarify that I fully intended to end Two Lost Souls this way. If Part Fourteen yielded up any questions as to why I chose such an ending, I wanted to make clear my reasons and dispel any confusion or disappointment some might harbor. These are by no means full explanations of this fanfiction, and only skim the surface. Feel free to read as deep into Two Lost Souls as you wish; if you have any questions, comments, or other responses, email or review through FFN.

[Part I - Two Lost Souls]

From the beginning, this relationship has been a skewed one. It must be remembered that this takes place over a time span of three and a half years. That's a long time! Each chapter is more like a seasonal snapshot instead of a "chapter," picking up several months after the previous part left off. Both boys have clearly grown and changed from the first fall to the last winter, and there are obviously things that have occured between chapters that we are unaware of and can only surmise.

As we are taken through their lives in Draco's narrative, his feelings are clear. He loves Harry. And after three years, it's grown beyond passing fancy or a substitute of hate or pure loneliness; by the time Harry kills him, Draco loves him so much he cannot feel anything else. I feel that Two Lost Souls is different from most in that their initial relationship does not begin with lust. In fact, Draco does not admit romantic feelings for Harry until well into the first few chapters. Once he does, he isn't overly obsessed with Harry for phsyical reasons; Draco accepts the fact that the feelings he have are more deeply rooted and - while the physical aspect of their relationship is possibly the one that keeps Harry, at least at certain times - focuses more on his mental attraction.

Harry remains much more of an enigma, which is (IMO) as it should be. He appears to us exactly as he does to Draco. However, before I make any more statements, let me say that I wrote Harry as caring for Draco. It's not that he's a total bastard, but he doesn't allow himself to be capable of love. I fully believe that, had the battle for Azkaban not happened, Harry would have eventually let himself fall for Draco as hard as Draco fell for him.

However, Azkaban did occur, and their relationship became more and more strained, until Harry began to view it as more of a trap than an escape. He could not allow himself to care more for Draco than anyone else; furthermore, he could not allow himself to care for anyone at all. Which brings us to:

[Part II - Up Close And Personal With The Boy Who Lived]

Many have expressed the sentiment that Harry is terrible to Draco and deserves, well, punishment. In truth, Harry's life has been an increasing nightmare. The beginning of Two Lost Souls is in the fall of their seventh year at Hogwarts, so we are unaware of what exactly happened between the end of the fourth book and the beginning of their seventh year, but it can be surmised that the continuing stress upon Harry made him more and more pressured. He obviously has his friendships with Ron and Hermione, though as the seasons pass he grows alienated from them and more deeply involved in Draco's life.

Harry begins his relationship with Draco, the one to approach Draco and more or less set the terms/limits for their relationship. Not to say that he is the completely dominant one, but Harry is typically in control. The death of Draco's mother provides a spark for their reluctant companionship, one that Harry pursues out of curiosity and a sudden realization that he and Draco are not "black and white." Harry is indeed the instigator, the one who seems to be actively interested in Draco, while Draco wants no part in it and seems to be holding Harry at as much of a distance as possible. This changes in Part Four, where Draco must ask Harry for help and their roles seem reversed for the rest of the fic.

Furthermore, Harry is unwilling to accept the fact that he owes Draco his life. (See also Ch. 11, Draco's analyzations to Ron.) I don't want to make it seem as if Harry is sane, because if he were perfectly understandable it's unlikely this would have ended in such away. Yet I don't think that he escaped without punishment, so to speak. Imagine him afterwards as you like, but I don't see him unaffected.

Harry becomes obsessed with this idea of freedom, of walking alone so that no one can touch him. From his parents to Sirius and Cho, even the distance between him and Ron, many of the people he cares for have gone from his life. He comes to see these relationships are ties, bars of a cage he does not want to live in. As he told Draco, by now what he craves is "guarantees." Impossible? Ridiculous? Perhaps, but consider Harry's life and then decide if these thoughts are probable.

I'd like to leave most of Harry open to interpretation, as he is the more obscure character in this piece. See him as an ice queen, see him as an utter prat, see him as wild with grief for Draco, madly in love with Draco, or uncaring at all - I don't mind. I wish to point out, however, that he is human in everything he does. Just don't paint him unquestionably black and white.

[Part III - Up Close And Personal With The Boy Who Died]

Draco's feelings, compared to Harry's, are more easily picked out, as he is the narrator. OOC Draco? Maybe. But his relationship with Harry developed over the course of several months, even a year, until even he could not deny it anymore. As with Harry, Draco can be actually taken however you wish despite narrating in the first person.

Harry does seems to be the dominant one in their relationship; however, I don't want Draco to seem simply submissive. He's [hopefully] retained some hints of canon!Draco, and his companionship with Harry has not changed anything with other people, only Harry. I believe that Draco's relations with others in his life (Sirius, Dumbledore, Fiona, David, even Ron) contrast with Harry's growing distance from them, and first person narration clearly makes him more easily understood.

What I have to say about Draco: He loves Harry. And in my opinion, which even as the writer should not duly influence yours, is that Draco wouldn't resent Harry for what Harry did.

Maybe Draco appears overly open with his feelings, a surprising gesture considering the picture we gain of Draco from the books. Just remember that it took them years, not days, not weeks, not months, but years, to get to this point.

Yeah, that's it for Draco.

[Part IV - Common Imagery]

Smoke: Beginning with Part One, with Draco's mother's death, I've used smoke as a reoccurring symbol of the dead. From, "Or how many spirals of smoke return to haunt..." to "Lost in that realm of smoky dreaming," it's one of the more minor links that is supposed to minutely connect these chapters.

Glass/Steel: Draco states in Part Three, "I want to tell him that I'm not made of glass, but I can't. (Under his touch, maybe I am.)" Later, in Part Four, he adds, "If he turns me to fragile glass, I turn him to rigid steel." From this comes the reoccuring glass vs. steel idea that the titles and themes of Parts Twelve and Thirteen were based upon. I feel that this is rather self-explanatory, but wanted to point it out.

Cages: This too is self-explanatory, especially throughout Part Fourteen, but deserved mention. Though with negative connotations, in this fic cages are not necessarily related to captivity and badness (except in Harry's mind). Harry sees any sort of entangling relationship, becoming too close with/caring for anyone, as an imprisoning cage to be avoided. "It's never better in the cage," he states repeatedly, convinced that freedom and alienation from others is all that equals real survival. Death, too, is freedom, and that is what he gives.

Death: This (obviously) is huge. I told you to look for foreshadowing, and I promise it's there. Their entire relationship springs from the fact that Draco's mother died, and from then on they talk in the graveyard, Draco relates things about his mother's death, reflects on Harry's "Avada Kedavra" eyes. As we draw closer and closer to the end, both the war and the mentions of death escalate. Finally David and Fiona, who are younger than Draco, both perform the Killing Curse in front of his eyes on family friends, and shortly after he is made to believe that Harry has died. Sirius and Cho both perished, and later Harry himself kills Draco's father. You need only to read through and look for it to realize that Two Lost Souls isn't truly focused about love, but death. Thus I feel my ending is justified, and as it was planned to end that way from Part One, Two Lost Souls was written specifically to end that way. I've tried my hardest to rationalize and make this end believable, and I can only hope I did it justice.

[Part V - Miscellaneous Issues]

I love Auror Academy. I honestly do. I wanted to make it more similar to West Point or, really, any college, rather than a simple blueprint of Hogwarts. I even drew up a diagram of their dormitory. I love their dormitory. I love their school. I love Professor Engle, and Mulligan and Mulligan, and everything. Yes.

If Sirius/Cho squicked you, I'm sorry. It happened to make a lot of sense to me and it still does. I like Sirius/Cho, the desperation in it, the potion, the way it ended. So no, I don't regret it at all. I feel it's a pivotal point in Two Lost Souls.

And finally, for random information, my favorite line: "...and 'The Boy Who Lived' is so hideously inappropriate of a grave inscription."

[Part VI - Final Notes]

I thought that I should mention, Vladimir Nabokov's style in Bend Sinister was what prompted me to write Two Lost Souls the way I did. Originally, it was to be a one-shot ficlet, but Autumn spawned an entire series. I'm glad. I have to say, the parentheses allowed me more creativity and fun with figurative language than I could have dreamed. I loved writing in that style, and hope that you enjoyed reading. It was amazing for me to be able to do that. Furthermore, I feel that present tense was the only way to do it, as death of the narrator would be hard to establish otherwise.

Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" inspired the title. Lyrics can be seen above.

This was, of course, dedicated to Christy. It would be half of what it is without the help and support of Michi MinYin Chu, ShinigamiForever, and of course Sky Sorceress and Christy. You girls made Two Lost Souls into something I'm proud to have written. I love you all.

Finally, what's upcoming? Hopefully, though it may be awhile, I'm planning a new H/D fic, From The Ashes. And you might be surprised to find that, yes, it is planned to have a happy ending.

Thank you. Thank you all.