Hey guys…

This little short story is based on one of the conversations I had with a few of my friends who love the ninja turtles as much as me. So don't mind the weirdness and the randomness it's all in good fun. They talk about mostly the enemies in the 2003 series (First season to the fourth season). And these are the villains that mostly stood out to me.

Oh yeah and I used Mason cause most of my reviewers really liked him. So this little conversation takes place maybe a couple days after they get the antidote to Mason (If you don't know what I'm talking about read 'Are You My Daddy'). It's only between Mason and the guys.

XXX

Mason sat up against the arm of the couch with his injured leg propped up with a couple pillows. He shut his eyes as he let the sound of his precious saxophone calm him… or at least he tried. Due to the fact that he was out of tune, he just couldn't get to that calm place without a new reed. The problem: they were all the way up in his room. The other problem: His uncles, aunts, father, mother as well as his brother and sister all banned him from moving

"Stupid bullet wounds," he mumbled "Stupid poison, Stupid Foot Ninjas, Stupid Lance. Stupid, stupid, stupid"

But then he thought, maybe if he was fast he could make it up there and back without anyone noticing. Yeah that'll work. He thought sarcastically, but he had to try. The life of his music was at stake here. With a struggle he was able to move his leg until his feet were flat on the ground.

"And just where do you think you're going?" a voice, definitely one of the adult males, said

Mason froze and turned to see Leo standing there with his arms crossed over his chest in that leader stance that he was so famous for. "Hey Uncle Leo" he greeted with a sheepish smile

Leo shook his head "What were you planning on doing?"

"I need a new reed for my saxophone and they're upstairs"

Leo sighed "So why don't you ask someone to get it for you?" he said "I'm sure no one would mind since you rarely ever ask for anything"

"Even Uncle Raph?" Mason asked

"Even him" Leo confirmed with a smile "We just want you to heal, that's all. And you won't be able to do that if you're trying to get up before you're ready. The last thing we want to do is risk a relapse of that poison and let's not forget you never got to fully heal from when you were shot"

"I know" Mason sighed, blowing stray black hairs out of his face "Help me?"

"Sure, where are they?"

"Upstairs, bottom drawer of the nightstand by my bed. They're in a square box"

"Got it" Leo walked over to his nephew and helped him lay back on the couch "Now you stay put"

"Alright" he sighed

Leo disappeared into his room when Raph showed up. "Whatcha thinking about kid?" he asked ruffling his nephew's hair

"What makes you think that I'm thinking about something?" Mason asked, raking a hand through his hair

"Because" Raph pointed to the silver plated saxophone in his hands "That's your thinking instrument"

"Really? I never noticed that. I thought I was just playing it for fun"

"Nope, that's either your guitar or your drums" Raph explained "So what's up?"

"Well I was thinking about all your villains that you've faced actually... mostly the Foot cause of my current condition"

"Why were you thinking about them?" Leo asked returning with his reed

"I don't know, you guys have a lot of… "fans" it just got me thinking of the weirdest things ever" he graciously took the reed from him and pulled it out of its plastic casing

"Like what?"

"Like who's the better villain for example" he stuck the reed in his mouth

"Really kid? That's what you're thinking?" Raph asked with a roll of his eyes

"Hey don't judge me. I'm hopped up on so many pain killers right now, crazy stuff is gonna happen"

Raph chuckled at that "Alright so enlighten us. Who is the better bad guy?" Raph said sitting down on the recliner

"Why are we talking about bad guys?" Don asked coming out of his lab with a cup of coffee

"What are you talking about Uncle Don? We're not talking about bad guys" he replaced the reeds and immediately played a long drawn out note for no reason

"Wooooooow, obnoxious" Mikey said, hopping down from the upper levels

"I am my father's son" Mason countered

"I am quite hurt by that statement" Mikey placed a hand over his chest, feigning hurt

"Yeah, sure you are Pop. Come sit with us while we discuss things"

"Alright" Mikey moved the pillows supporting his leg and replaced them with his own lap "What were we discussing?"

"Well, we were about to discuss all the bad guys that you've come in contact with since you've pretty much told me about all of them"

"You have, Mikey?" Don asked

"Oh yeah, they've become like bedtime stories to my kids" Mikey said

"Yep. Sixteen years old and still being told bedtime stories… I love it"

"Alright kid so tell us who you think is the better bad guy?"

"And I'm curious about whose the worst villain" Leo said

"Before we get to the best and the worst, let's talk about the ones in between… you know… cause they deserved to be talked about just as much… like the purple dragons. First off what kind of scary gang name is that?"

Mason smiled when he heard snickers

"Well they got the intimidating dragon part down" Don said, actually trying to give them the benefit of the doubt

"And that's great and all, but they couldn't pick a different color. Did a chick pick that out for them? That is not the right color for a gang. Now if it was a different color like… maybe black or red or something, then maybe I'd have a bit more respect for them. But purple… that just makes me want to go up to one of them and ask them why they are even bothering"

"You are so brutal" Raph said hiding his face in his hands to try and control his laughter

"Hey Uncle, I'm just speaking the truth"

"Wait, even with Hun they're still horrible"

"Oh my God yes. The fact that this big, muscular, body building, possible steroid taking ape is in a group like this made it worse"

Don started laughing at that

"Alright I have officially decided that I'm staying for the rest of this conversation" Leo said sitting next to Mikey on the couch "This is way too interesting to pass up on"

"So glad you think so Uncle" Mason chuckled

"Who else can we talk about?" Don asked not really knowing how much his nephew knew

"Just about anyone. Pop is really detailed with his adventure stories"

"Okay, so what about the Foot?" Raph asked

"Alright, let's not talk about them right at this very second. Save them for later" Mason said

"Alright, what about… the Garbage Man?" Mikey offered

"Ugh" Mason looked disgusted by the mere thought of him "That dude sounded nasty. I bet he smelled like he bathed in his own feces"

"Yeah, he was if I remember correctly" Leo said

"I bet if you cut him there wouldn't blood there would be sludge"

"Ugh, that sounds gross" Raph said "We should've tested that"

"Raph…" Leo exclaimed

"What? It's not like we can do it now. Haven't seen him in years" Raph shrugged

"Can you imagine seeing that if you did test it? Just black sludge spilling out of him" Mason said "That would both amuse me and disgust me at the same time"

All the older males gave him odd looks and he suddenly felt self- conscious "What?" Mason asked nervously

"You're so weird" Leo said

"Wow it took you a while to figure that out Uncle Leo" Mason laughed "So who's next?"

XXX

Don't worry there's more.

I was gonna make this a one shot, but I realized it would be a reeeeally long and obnoxious one shot so I'm breaking it up into… about three parts.