Rick Santorum was confused. This was not uncommon but he today he was more so then ever before. Gay Sex. That's all he could think about. Since he woke up, all he has thinking about was gay sex. Disturbed by his thoughts, he tried to ignore it by preparing for his day ahead of him. He went through his normal every day activities. First he went to a nearby orphanage and yelled at them until the cried, then he went to the local planned parenthood and flipped everything and shamed all that were there, afterwords he thought he deserved a nice relaxing afternoon after all his hard work.

Santorum returned to his house and went to his study. Quickly he logged on to his computer and started to look up videos of kittens on the internet. He scolded himself for not writing his next speech but he decided that it would be better for him to speak from his soul. He then went back to looking up kittens and other cute animals. He spent an hour doing this when a thought came to him. Gay Sex.

Santorum grew angry at the thought of it. Gay Sex! How terrible it was! How unholy it was! The confusion was there behind all the anger. How did it work? How do to men have sex with each other? It is unnatural so it shouldn't be possible but some how the gays were engaging in such blasphemous acts. Do they just rub their penises together? Do they wack at each other? Are Gay men the same a lesbians and scissor? Is scissoring when you rub your chest together? Rick grew more confused.

Rick though of himself as a man of reason as well as a man of god. As a man of reason he should try to understand the gays so he can end their satanic ways and bring them to god. But how could he understand the gay? He was not one nor would he ever talk or even be near the gay in case he catches the homosexuality from being near them. Then Rick Santorum had an idea.

He quickly went to google and typed in "gay sex". Clicking on the first link he saw, Santorum eyes were assaulted with images of lesbians. He clicked a video and began to watch the two womens have sex. After five minutes, he could not watch any longer. He saw nothing holy about such pairings. Rick also did not understand why other men said that lesbian sex was hot.

He went back to google and this time he looked for a link with homosexual males. Once he found a suitable website, he began to watch a video. Unlike before, Rick Santorum was not disgusted. In fact he felt a special feeling. As a man of reason, he thought to himself, I must watch more to find out why this makes me feel this way. He continued to watch not noticing the time until he looked at the clock. 3 hours! He spent 3 hours looking and gay porn and still did not know why it produce such reactions from him.

Rick Santorum was then overcome with anguish. What if someone was to check his history and saw that he was watching gay porn? They could make the wrong assumption and his life would be over. He tried to delete his web history but could not figure out how. Rick quickly went to wikipedia and kept clicking random article. This way anyone checking would think he is interested in learning things, Rick thought smugly to himself, calling himself a genius for coming up with such a smart plan.

After patting himself several times on the back, Santorum noticed he had a boner. Hmm, I wonder how long Little Rick has been happy? Reaching into one of the desk drawers, Rick took out some lotion and a plastic sandwich bag. Quickly he took care of his little friend and collected the sperm into the bag for later procreational use. Using a sharpie, he wrote the date down and put it in a lower drawer filled with similar bags.