"Hey I need my shirt back…"

I step out of the bathroom and chuck the cheap reminder of what I've done all semester back at that sorry bastard. I walk around in my undies, because they're all I can find at the moment. Hah! Success I found my dress! Sleeping my way through classes I didn't like might not be the smartest idea ever or even the most original but eh…a girl has to work with what she's got. Today's the day I finally get that stupid piece of paper that will let me work at Arkham; I've waited years to help the people there and now I finally get the chance.

"Good luck at that meeting Harleen; you're gonna need it, Arkham is going to eat you up and spit your sorry ass back out."

"We'll see, I have a different approach to the field and I am going to help people!"

"Sure you are sweetheart, that's what they all say before they realize the best you'll ever get is assisting someone else or working at a community college."

It takes all my strength to not slap him, but I avoid the urge and finish dressing. Time to show Arkham what I can do! I want to help the insane using a personalized approach based on finding out what they want rather than sitting around and asking stupid questions or bringing up the past. God knows that shit doesn't work…focus Quinzel don't remember that, you're ok now and you're going to shake up this city… I leave the cheap hotel and get in my red convertible, it's a little old but oh well it runs and it's pretty. I pull into the seedy part of Gotham into a dark alleyway…not my smartest idea, but well I needed to change and I didn't have time to go to my apartment. Today must be my lucky day, because no one jumped me and I wasn't attacked or anything! Let's hope my meeting with the board of Arkham turns out just as well.

I pull into the parking complex and look at myself in the mirror; on the outside I look pretty and perfect like a little china doll, but on the inside I want to fall down and cry. I've been called a masochist for heading to a place full of crazy people in pain in hopes of actually helping myself…screw it, who really gives a shit why I'm here? Seriously on all the trips I was required to make in hopes that Arkham would scare me away I saw some concerning things… but it wasn't from the patients, but rather the doctors. They just don't seem to care at all! If they can keep the real crazies drugged up and the high-securities locked up for a few days without them escaping, then it's been a good day. How is that helping those poor people?

I walked down the hallway to the giant room where the meeting was going to take place; the guards and other random stragglers were openly staring in admiration. It felt nice for only a moment, until the reality that they only saw me as a thing sets in. I look at myself again to make sure my blond hair is still curled and my red lipstick hasn't faded or smudged. Once I pass my appearance checklist I head into the room surrounded by the elite of the elite of Gotham. I felt some of the men stare at my tight red blouse and notice that it isn't buttoned all the way and admire my black skirt that's just above the height code.

Tee-he I'm going to have fun playing these people to get what I want. After all isn't that what all life is: using any and everyone you can to better yourself and avoid the horrible things you did to get where you now are? Well, if that's not right I suppose my adoptive parents lied to me before sending me to school with a gymnastics scholarship. Which speaking of, I don't even like gymnastics; I always felt the creepy guys stare at me funnily, but I did it to make my family happy. I just want them to be happy with me…that's why I'm doing this, they'll be proud of me and all those stupid people who didn't believe in me will regret it. Then they'll see, and then they'll all see!

What feels like hours of sitting on a cheap plastic chair and smiling coyly, without being sexy or unprofessional, they finally stop analyzing my thesis and whatever else they have up there; heck there could be a newspaper up there for all I know. Then they start talking in tones that are so hushed that you can't even hear them talk, which is quite a feat considering that I have excellent hearing. You know what, I want that, to be able to talk to someone in a room full of people and have him be the only person who hears, no matter how hard they try to hear. Seems kind of stupid, but when you have a voice like mine, it makes sense...damn! I hate it when people make fun of my voice, now I'm just mad…focus Quinzel, focus you're sooo close don't screw it up now!

After another eternity, they come to a decision. An old balding man stands up and looks around at the board before staring at me…this is it, the moment I've been waiting for!

"Dr. Harleen Quinzel, the board has decided that we would love to have you work here at Arkham. You can start today if you wish; you'll be an assistant to one of our other doctors until we decide where to put you."

I smile and use all my control to avoid happy dancing in the middle of the room. Finally, I've waited so long!

"Thank-you so much for accepting me! I would love to start working here at Arkham today, just tell me where to go!"

That was just too easy; these boys don't know what they're in for!

A few days into the job I was given a "task" to do. To be honest, it was actually kind of depressing and degrading…but I'll take what I can get. The last mail carrier died so they needed a replacement…and being the newest staff member that glorious role fell on my shoulders. All-in-all it wasn't so bad; I'd get to visit all the current patients (or plan a schedule around the dangerous ones) and deliver their mail, it was rather boring but seeing the happiness on their lonely faces was exhilarating.

Today was the big day I'd been waiting months for, when I take the final test to make sure I'm "sane enough" to start helping patients. When they said I passed it was soooooo exciting, I'd finally get to help people and I couldn't wait. Today was the last day I'd drop off mail and I had to make a stop in the Zoo (aka where the Rogues were placed temporarily until they became bored and left).

I headed to drop off a few good-bye gifts to the nice patients who didn't treat me like scum because I'm new. I gave Poison Ivy her mail and a potted plant that just barely passed with security and I gave The Hatter a new book of Alice in Wonderland; in my defense he loves that idiotic book and I felt bad that they took his current copy.

I started humming to myself as I walked down the hall, once I was past a majority of the occupied cells I did a little happy dance…I know it's stupid but I was so happy I just couldn't help myself. Once I'd controlled myself I headed down the rest of the hallway singing to myself, which in retrospect made me seem dumb, but who really gives a damn?

I opened the door separating the Zoo from the rest of the asylum and started to walk down another hallway...speaking of, why are there so many of the stupid things, the only people who get lost are the doctors not the escaping patients…I turn and enter the common room, because Joan asked me to welcome the newest patient. I was incredibly flattered, until I saw who it was: the Penguin. If it was anyone else I would've been happy, but having to welcome my past employer was just another embarrassing reminder of my shitty past. Shit he saw me…now I have to go and say hello, this can't end well.

"Good God! Little Harleen did it, and here I thought you up and quit because you found another employer…not another bloody life!"

Seeing him livid was actually rather amusing, since I might've stolen some of his money to pay off my student loans. Well this could be going worse I suppose, luckily the Bat brought him in-between sessions of "free times" so no one else was in the room. Focus Harleen, you can do this without embarrassing yourself or pissing off a Rogue.

"Why hello Mr. Cobblepot, my name is Dr. Quinzel. Welcome to Arkham!"

The fact that I managed that with a smile on my face and a tone of politeness was quite extraordinary.

"Yeah well, it does my heart good to know that one of my girls made a name for herself…"

"I was never one of 'your girls' I ONLY SERVED COCKTAILS…IT WAS ONE FREAKING TIME. Get over yourself, I only helped fill in for a friend who was having one of your client's bastard kid you ASSHOLE!"

He tried to corner me against a wall, but I saw it coming and when he went to touch my arm I sort of freaked out. Without even realizing what I was doing, I flipped the bird-brain on his sorry pompous ass and laughed at the fear in his eyes. When I realized what I just did I apologized and ran out of the room as fast as I could…great just great, I haven't had an episode in two years and now the day before I get to help a patient I'm going to get fired! Oh and to make things that much worse, during my little "episode" patients from the Zoo and the other parts of Arkham came into the room…how embarrassing, I could just die…

I woke up screaming at the memory from so long ago…before I met my puddin'. I really wish I would've taken those pills now. I hate remembering what a boring person I was before I met Mistah J; the thoughts of a life without him or before him are terrifying. Normally the thoughts don't pop up, because I'm next to Mistah J or on heavy meds when those mean doctors keep us apart, I just couldn't take these new ones, they make everything so distorted and then I feel all dizzy. All-in-all it's a really shitty feeling.

Well, I'm not quite sure what this story will end up turning into, if you've read this far thanks and please wait,there's more coming. I don't know if I'm really capturing Harley Quinn in the right way, but I tried really hard! She's one of my favorite characters ever…so I really want to capture that spark that makes her, her…I don't know if that makes sense, but oh well. Please leave a comment or an idea for how I can make this better. Thanks a million!

BTW I don't own Batman or any part of franchise :)