A/n: The idea for this one came to me very suddenly and I knew it was too hilarious not to do. I quickly wrote it in a morning, and here we are! A story for our poor little moogle friend, and for sneaky Noel and Serah. I had a lot of fun writing this, haha. Please review if you enjoyed reading!

THE PERILS OF BEING SQUISHY

1. DANGERS TO SELF-ESTEEM

"Serah!" Noel yelled, alerting his partner to the presence of a behemoth. It was giant, and it was chasing them down with vigor. No way they could outrun it.

"We stand and fight!" Serah called back to him. She dug out the crystal of a purple chocobo, planning ahead and knowing it could bestow some helpful buffs.

"Kupo!" Mog ducked the swipe of the behemoth's massive claw. It had totally overtaken them! Mog twirled quickly, transforming into a sword, hilt falling right into Serah's hands.

The chocobo was casting away, imbuing Noel with several buffs. Noel slashed at the behemoth's sides, already seeing plenty of weak spots beneath its ribs.

But Serah... Serah was stuck. She just couldn't... lift... her sword! "Good boy!" she encouraged the chocobo, who had now turned its attention to her. The warmth of magic ghosted over her skin, but it was far from reassuring.

It didn't take long before Noel noticed. "Serah, are you alright?" he called over his shoulder, dodging hits from the behemoth.

Serah struggled to lift her weapon, blade of her sword lying uselessly on the ground. "I can't lift my sword!" she told him frantically.

Noel grimaced. "Cloudburst," he called back to her, and she dug the crystal out for that monster, tossing it to him. He caught it left-handed, then gave it a forceful slash, calling the monster forth. The chocobo's crystal materialized in her hands shortly.

The behemoth noticed Serah's inactivity and charged over, making to swipe at her.

"No, you don't!" Noel growled, stabbing the behemoth in the ribs. It reared back in pain and rose up onto its hind legs.

Serah watched as it cast its shadow over her, blocking out the sun. Her grip tightened on her sword hilt, the metal suddenly slippery with sweat.

"Go!" Noel commanded the cloudburst, and it immediately set fire to the entire field. Noel dove through it all to slash at the behemoth's legs. Serah knew that his strategy was to finish the behemoth off as fast as possible, before it healed itself.

It worked! The behemoth fell, now a charred carcass. Noel sheathed his swords and quickly went to her. The cloudburst condensed itself back into a crystal, duty done.

As he approached, his eyes swept over her form worriedly. "You're okay?"

She stood slightly hunched over her sword, both hands still gripping its hilt. She nodded. "Thank you."

He gave her a slight smile. Then he took her sword by its hilt, right hand closing over her hands, and shook. "Hey, Mog!"

The sword evaporated from beneath their hands. Serah retracted her arms, cheeks pink.

Mog floated up slowly. Pink crystal drooping, wings not flapping, he looked over at Noel.

"What's the deal, huh? Serah couldn't lift you," Noel laid into the moogle, giving Mog a poke in the tummy for good measure.

Mog didn't react to Noel's poke, uncharacteristic for the spunky moogle.

"Are you feeling alright, Mog?" Serah asked, blinking at him, ever-sweet, ever-worried.

Mog just bobbed down the path they were headed. Serah and Noel trailed him.

"He has been eating a lot recently," Noel commented to Serah. At that, Mog instantly felt his hackles rise.

"Oh," Serah responded. Then, after a pause, "So you're saying he's gained weight, and that's why I couldn't lift my sword?"

Mog whirled on them, waving his staff madly. "I'll go on a diet, then! Meanies! Kupo!"

2. DAILY TESTS FOR AIRSICKNESS

Having lost about three pounds over the following weeks, Mog was feeling pretty good about himself. He cheerily flapped his little wings alongside Serah, stirring up the air in this new place.

"Mog!" Noel called from his position up ahead.

Mog rocketed up to him. "Kupo?"

Noel had that gleam in his eye that told Mog he was not about to have fun. "Let's get a snack," Noel told him, then out flashed his hand, lightning-fast, and he was already readying his throwing arm, aiming for a fruit-bearing tree. "Giddy-up!"

"Kupo! Ku-po!" Mog whined. Noel always threw way too hard, and Mog could just imagine himself lodged between the branches of the tree, stuck there by sheer force. "Kupooo!" he called as he was launched through the air. Distantly, he heard Serah exclaim.

"Kupopo," Mog grumped as he collected fruit from the faraway tree. He was tired of being thrown around. At least Noel had good aim. If it was Serah he might be thrown three, four, five times! He didn't know which was worse - one hard throw or several gentler ones. He plucked four fruits - one for Serah, one for Noel and two for himself. Hee hee.

Noel and Serah were talking about their latest mission when Mog returned. "Kupo!" he announced himself, then for good measure, dropped one fruit each past Noel's and Serah's noses.

"This smells great," Serah marvelled, then looked up at him, bobbing in place. "Thanks, Mog!"

"Yeah, thanks," Noel said, holding up his fruit in a toast. Mog acquiesced, touching his own fruit to Noel's. They all bit into their snacks. Very succulent!

So succulent, in fact, that after her first bite, Serah had a lot of fruit juice at the corner of her mouth, ready to drip down her chin.

Noel laughed. He gestured to the corner of his lips in a mirror image to Serah. "Juice," he said simply.

Serah shrugged, seeming to indicate that she didn't care, but her eyes locked onto his in a way that made it look like she was challenging him.

The blue of his eyes burned brighter. Then he moved closer to her, bending down a bit, and put his mouth and tongue to the juice gathered at the corner of her lips.

When he pulled away, they were smiling at each other.

3. SOME THINGS CANNOT BE UNHEARD (OR UNSEEN)

"Let me sleep," Noel griped, voice groggy.

"Kupo," Mog insisted, poking at him.

But then Noel turned, arms unintentionally raking the air above him, and he nearly hit Mog. Mog gave up on Noel right then and there, and went for Serah. He flapped his wings hard, trying to wake her with a little cold air. "Let's get going! We have to help the miniflan find their friends!"

Serah only mumbled in her sleep, curling away from the Mog-generated wind and toward the much warmer body of her sleeping companion.

Mog sighed, cast glares of disdain at his lazy human comrades, and decided to do some scouting. He bobbed away, doing large sweeps of the Sunleth Waterscape. It was a little difficult to tell the flan apart from the sedentary wildlife, especially in the sparse morning light. Shadows from the taller vegetation only added to the quiet majesty of the locale. He wandered for a long time and kept his eyes peeled for the distinctive colours of the miniflan.

Just then, he heard the dialect of the flan! He let his ears lead the way. Serah and Noel were so lucky he understood flanese.

And what luck, a group of pink miniflan! He was already mentally retracing his steps so he could show Serah and Noel. He nearly burst into the clearing to tell the flan to wait for help, but their chatter caught his attention.

"- unseemly acts," the most junior of the flan seemed to be reporting.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I passed them on my way here," the tiny flan spoke.

The other flan questioned, "And you didn't say anything?"

"They couldn't understand me, even if I said something!" the littler flan snapped. "Or are you forgetting? They're humans!"

Humans? Could the flan be talking about Serah and Noel?

Or what if there were other humans here in Sunleth? The crystal atop Mog's head straightened in fright. The only other humans who would dare to come here were Yeul and Caius! He had to find Noel and Serah right away!

Mog doubled his speed back through the overgrowth of plants. He was Serah's only means of defense, too!

He heard a groan. His little moogle heart beat harder. Noel!

He rounded the large tree the three of them had staked out last night, ready to transform into Serah's bow-

And then he heard Serah giggle. Giggle?

Mog shrunk back, ducking behind the tree trunk again. He quickly spotted Serah, the only spot of pink in the midst of all the green leaves. She was sitting, facing the tree. "Mmm," she said.

"Kupo?" Mog whispered, confused. But then he saw an arm, and realized that Serah wasn't facing the tree. Well, she was, but she was really facing Noel, who was leaning back against the tree. She was sitting between Noel's legs, actually. And Noel-

Mog's eyes nearly fell out of his head. Noel's shirt was open, his skin exposed from his neck to his abdomen. And Serah's hands were on his chest!

"Come here," Noel said, his hand at the nape of Serah's neck. He guided her to him, tilting his head once their lips were joined in a kiss.

Serah leant in easily, one hand at Noel's jaw and the other still against his bare chest. Noel's other hand went to Serah's hip. She shivered in response. "Noel," she moaned into their kiss.

Noel just pulled her tighter to him. Serah's hands wandered down around Noel's sides, untucking Noel's shirt from his pants. The quiet, wet sounds of kissing continued.

And Mog could only turn away somewhat brokenly, and silently plop his bottom down on the forest floor.

He was never traveling with humans again.

Or maybe it was just those two.

Hmph.