Grow A Pear

by McLP

Summary: Oh Gumball, why dont you just grow a Pear? Silly little song-fic

A/N: Song is by Kesha, its a really funny song and it suits Fionna's problem with Gumball. So enjoy!

Last night I had enough of you
I put down the brakes
And I could tell you took it hard it was all over your face
Since you're slipping and flipping
But here is the stitch
I signed up for a man
But you are just a bitch

Fionna storm out of the candy kingdom with her face heated and stuck on a glare. She has had it with Gumball acting so girly all the time! He wasnt a bit manly in his gummy like bones! He likes to spend his times, baking, decorating, hosting parties, and trying to put up that 'oh-I-have-everything-and-you-dont' facade that makes her sick! Of course she loves Gumball, she has a huge crush but tonight she has to end it for her own good. No matter how hard Fionna tries, she couldnt picture Gumball fighting his own fights. Because he cant friggin defend himself since he has a woman to do it for him!

You should know
That I love you a lot
But I just can't date a dude with a vag

When we fell in love
You made my heart drop
And you had me thinking 'bout you nonstop
But you cry 'bout this and whine about that
When you grow a pear
You can call me back

Gumball confess his undying love for Fionna on her 18th birthday. Since then the two dated and Fionna was in pure bliss. She was living the dream that she thought she wouldnt be able to achieve. Of course Gumball was different then the other human-like guys Fionna known. He dresses up in fancy clothes, doesnt like to get dirty, always take pride in his flowers and baked goods, and just like to be in the loop with gossip. He is friends with Lumpy Space Prince so Fionna could understand. But what she couldnt undertand or grasp was his 'needs'. He cries when he doesnt get what he wants for a certain guests or the food isnt up to his standards or basically when the Ice Queen tries to ravage him. He also whines that he doesnt have anything to wear on their date or a party when he clearly has the best clothing in all of Candy Kingdom plus all the best tailors in Aaa at his beck and call.

Fionna doesnt understand him. Mostly her sister, Cake, would mostly do these kinds of things because she was a girl. So wouldnt that make her handsome Prince Gumball equally like Cake?

Yeah I think you're hot
I think you're alright
But you're acting like a chick all the time
You were cool and now you're not just like that
When you grow a pear
You can call me back

Fionna had a huge crush on Prince Gumball when she first laid eyes on him. She was just 12 years old when introduce to the Prince by her parents and Cake. The Prince had this charm that made Fionna so attach to him. Like a moth to a flame, she was drawn by his lavender eyes. The smooth touch of his gum hands against her soft cream ones. The sound of his voice like honey dripping with sweetness. And his body was sculpt into perfection.

Of course she had to hide this crush because it would seem silly for a human to fall in love with someone like Gumball. So Fionna did her best at that. The one thing to cover up her silly fan-girlish ways was to become his knight. Silly since she was a girl, both her and Cake, but since none of them has Fionna and Cake unique abilities they took the poistion. Once they saved the Prince a couple of times, it has come to Gumball's orders that all Princes in Aaa recieved the same treatment.

Fionna doesnt mind protecting all the Princes but she prefer to stay close in Gumball's way. Which is way she choose to live in a treehouse not so far from the Candy Kingdom. Either way, Prince Gumball can contact her with ease and Fionna can come rushing to his side if he needs anything. And when Fionna means anything, she mean anything. Her tasks range from life-threatning to stupid but she did them all for Prince Gumball. Over the years her crush stay with her but now after dating the Prince for 2 weeks, now she was really confuse on why he acts the way he does. And why she hadnt notice earlier.

When I first met you
Panties droppin'
Every time I saw you it was on and
One day you asked if we can just talk and
That's the reason why I'm walkin'
If I am honest I'm just not hooked on your phonics
I'm not tryin' to be rude or crude
I just want one thing from you
And you got confused

Fionna didnt exactly lose her viriginty to the Prince. She wanted to go as far but Gumball always stop her from doing so. He keeps wanting to talk about their days or their lives or something not about sex. Fionna wonder what did she do wrong. But it was evident that Gumball didnt want to have sex with Fionna. Maybe she was going to fast? Possibly. Gumball wasnt the person to make the first moves. Gumball wasnt the one to give seductive hints. Gumball wasnt the one planning for private sessions that nobody knows. It was all Fionna's ideas and schemes. Fionna could just laugh at the mere thought that she was the one wearing the pants in the realtionship when it was clear that she wore the skirt and Gumball wore the fancy pants.

The only thing Fionna ever wanted from Gumball was his heart. She wanted his kindness and warmth that he shows when he was passionate for something. That was the only drive for Fionna to push herself harder on her tasks. Its the only thing she crave. She wanted to hear words that mean something to her like how much her family means. But Gumball only did was confess his love, he didnt take another step forward in the realtionship. He had kept it on a standby. Making Fionna wait for his next moves. But Fionna couldnt wait forever, she wasnt getting any younger.

You should know
That I love you a lot
But I just can't date a dude with a vag

When we fell in love
You made my heart drop
And you had me thinking 'bout you nonstop
But you cry 'bout this and whine about that
When you grow a pear
You can call me back

"Whats wrong sweet pea?" Cake mew at her. Fionna was lying down on her bed with her face buried in the pillow. She didnt want her sister to see the fury on her face. "Is there something wrong?"

Fionna nodded her head refusing to tell Cake everything.

"Gumball problems?"

Another nod to her question which made Cake sigh and sit ontop of her back.

"Just go talk to him,sweetie. He's a good listener and your boyfriend. Just talk and work things out." Cake reassured the young adventurer.

Yeah I think you're hot
I think you're alright
But you're acting like the chick all the time
You were cool and now you're not just like that
When you grow a pear
You can call me back
When you grow a pear
You can call me back
When you grow a pear
You can call me back
Grow a pear
You can call me back
When you grow a pear
You can call me back
Grow a pear
You can call me back
And no I don't want to see your man-gina
When you grow a pear
You can call me back

So here she was standing outside of Gumball's private quarters aka his bedroom. Fionna heard noises behind it, she figure it was just Gumball snoring or reading to himself but when she open the door it was the exact opposite.

"Gumball! Marshall? What the Glob?" she screamed at the two boys.

"F-F-Fionna!" Gumball usually pink face was now red as an apple.

"Oh, hey Fi...Um..."Marshall stammer as he didnt move from his spot. "You must be wondering why I have my cock in Gumball's ass and while I am jacking him off. Well you see-"

"She fainted Marshall! Look what you've done!" Gumball snap at Marshall.

"Well its not my fault! You should have told her you was gay from the start, dick lover!" The Vampire King spat back.

When we fell in love
You made my heart drop
And you had me thinking 'bout you nonstop
But you cry 'bout this and whine about that
When you grow a pear
You can call me back

Yeah I think you're hot
I think you're alright
But you're acting like the chick all the time
You are cool and now you're not just like that
When you grow a pear
You can call me back