Hot off the press ficlet inspired by... certain PHOTOS OF SEASON THREE! &^&*yhnkj and if you haven't seen them yet they're all over tumblr so you should go find them before reading this!

"If you're going to be going to be seeing Bates every day in prison you really should do it more economically than two train tickets a day," observed Lady Mary Crawley to her husband of three weeks one morning over breakfast.

He opened his mouth and closed it again. "What do you have in mind?" he asked rather cautiously.

"I think we should buy a car," she replied calmly.

"Should we?" he stuttered, but his eyes on her were warm and affectionate. "That's quite an expense."

"Too much? I suppose we'll have to go without food for a month or two in that case."

"Oh, darling…" He leaned across the table and squeezed her hand. He felt he ought to resist her more but it was just so hard when she was looking at him like that and her eyes were so bright and she kept saying "we" and they were a "we" and they always would be and, well, it would be rather exciting to have a car of their own, wouldn't it?

The car arrived a week later. It was a deep blue and very shiny. Matthew had wanted green, Mary had preferred black. Much of the week had been spent debating this point. They had not yet learned to compromise but it had been rather fun to argue their respective points until they were both worked up into a fury of righteous indignation and obstinacy. (The subsequent apologies and making up had been rather enjoyable too.) The salesman hadn't found it so amusing but they weren't very interested in what he thought.

"We should name it," said Matthew, running his hand proudly along the sleek bonnet.

Mary stared at him in utter incomprehension and disgust. "Name it? Honestly, love, what do you think it is? Your first born son?"

He turned to look at her and the smirk fell off her face as her breath came a little faster. She swallowed. "Well, aren't you going to test it?" she demanded.

"Mary… I've never…"

This probably should have presented more of a problem to them than it did.

"Well, don't you think it's about time you learned? Really, if Edith can do it…!"

Matthew did not want to think about Edith. He helped her into the passenger's seat and then got in at the driver's side, frowning with determination at all the leavers and knobs and pedals. Mary watched for a few moments her lips twitching as she tried to hold back her grin. Eventually she said in a very meek and restrained tone, "You need to turn it on first."

He glared at her. "I knew that!" He turned the key in the ignition. "It's not the turning on that's an issue," he muttered, "it's what comes after."

Her expression softened and she placed her hand over his on the hand-brake. "I think you'll find it will come quite naturally once you simply begin."

He looked across at her and their eyes met in perfect joy and understanding. Then, very slowly, they released the brake together and the car began to move off, picking up speed as Matthew began to get more daring though nothing beyond what was sensible for a beginner. Mary let out a delighted laugh and clutched at her hat.

"See?" she exclaimed, looking over at him and laughing again at how desperately he was concentrating, his tongue just peaking out from between his lips. "Easy, isn't it?"

He nodded and then, with one wicked glance at her, applied his foot to the accelerator. "Let's go, Mary!" he cried and reached for her hand with his free one.

It really was the most fun they'd had for, well, a few hours at least.

A/N: FLAIL.