(Note: Emma = Belgium | Jan = Netherlands. Human AU! )

I could actually remember that evening well. Well, only bits of it if I were being honest.

When I think of it, the whole thing was like a dream; no, not a dream - a horrid nightmare.

January, 1987. Paris, France. I was five years old.

It was pitch black outside the condensed bus window, but colourful lights would whizz by every now and then in the city of snowy Paris. Me and mommy was sitting on the bus along with my big brother Jan. Jan was always an odd character I found. He was born in the Netherlands and I was born in Belgium. I actually feel more Belgian than Dutch sometimes, not that I mind or care. Sometimes I wonder if me and Jan are even related, but no matter how much he picks on me, pulls my hair, steals my toys, I'll always see him as my big ol' goofy brother. Daddy had left mommy a year ago when I was four years old. So now it's just the three of us.

It was quiet on the bus with just the sounds of the bus engines working around as it moved and the muffled beating music coming from Jan's headphones which he got for Christmas. I found them fascinating in the 80s, but Jan would never let me touch them or his mini tape player.

We were the only passengers on there. I sat on mommy's lap, my head resting back against her chest. I was starting to feel sleepy and it was getting late. My eyes were drooping, but I wanted to stay awake. I was a big girl, I could stay up!

The three of us had just come back from a comic convention in the centre city of Paris. Mommy told me Tintin would be there. I love Tintin, he was my favourite character and even at the age of five I collected the comics.

We bought some new comics at the convention and mommy said she'll read them to me when we get home.

"Emma, Sweetheart?" Mommy's voice whispered gently into my ear. "We're almost home, honey, time to wake up."

I let out a bit of a groan and stretched my little legs, expecting to have my stuffed rabbit that I named George cuddled in my arms. But then I realised I left George home. My stuffed bunny George was named after Daddy. I never knew daddy but I always imagined him to be fun and make me giggle, just like bunny George does.

Jan pulled his headphones down from his blonde head, blowing a strand of hair out of his face and looked up at mommy with that grumpy expression he always tended to have. He was five years older than me, so he was 10. He was always listening to this crazy music.

Mommy just ruffled his hair and straightened up in her seat, adjusting sleepy me on her lap. I yawned, pushing my dress down and I was about to speak and ask mommy if George was going to be okay sitting alone in my bedroom with my other toys but I never got the chance.

Mommy screamed. The bus suddenly jolted to the side and we were knocked against the side window to the right. I could hear the bus driver cursing, sounding as if someone was stabbing his guts. I screamed too. I thought I did, but no sound came out, but I felt my ears burst and my body ached.

The bus had tipped onto its side after smashing into another bus which had slipped on the icy roads. The force was enough to knock us over and the next thing I knew we were lying in a tipped over bus.

Everything stood still and went silent.

I had no idea how long it was silent. It could have been hours for all I knew, but I couldn't take it any longer.

"Mommy?" I screamed, gasping for air because I was panicking and trembled violently. I suddenly felt so cold and it only made me shiver more. I touched my cold face and felt a little sting and moist. I didn't know I was bleeding.

I could hear the sound of Jan's voice then when things started to become clearer. "Jan?" I called out, letting out a shaky whimper. I started to cry. And then I started to wail. It only caused Jan to panic even more. I could barely see what was going on or where I was because it was so dark, not to mention the tears in my eyes were blurring my vision anyway.

"S-Somebody's coming," Jan choked. I held my hand to my mouth and started to nibble on it as I cried. From the barely amount of light we had inside the tipped up bus, I could even see that Jan was crying too, the tears down his face glistening.

"Mommy's not moving," my voice shuddered. I was sitting on the window and mommy was lying next to me, her eyes were wide open but her face was covered with splattered blood, her brown hair smeared with dirt and more blood. I was so afraid. She wasn't speaking but her eyes were open. I thought she was alive.

Just then I could see a big man climb through the seats of the bus, yelling words in French. I could only understand a little bit of what he said. At first I thought it was daddy, but the man picked Jan up and then crawled back out with him and left me alone with mommy. I screamed louder. My brother was taken away from me and I was left alone. I grabbed mommy's sleeve and desperately shook her, trying to get her to wake up. I shrieked and wailed and didn't stop. My heart was thudding dangerously in my chest but before I knew it I felt big arms curl around my little body.

I was lifted out of the seats and I then felt fresh air. A fire-fighter had carried me out bridal style, out of the wrecked bus. I was barely conscious by this point, but still hiccupping cries. I spotted Jan sitting on the floor, hugging his knees whilst I was carried in the man's arms. The man was speaking to another fire-fighter. I couldn't quite catch what he was saying except for "She's dead."

I apparently had fainted and when I opened my eyes it was still cold and dark. I felt arms around me, brother's arms.

"J-Jan," I whimpered. We were both wrapped around in blankets, sitting on the edge of the back of an ambulance van. I could tell Jan was afraid because he was trembling as much as I was. Something felt so wrong.

"Are you okay, Emma?" he whispered, a frightened look on his face. I had never seen Jan look so scared. It wasn't like him. I always thought he was the bravest brother ever, even if he was a big meanie.

I shook my head honestly, resting my head on his shoulder. I had lost my ribbon which was always tied in my golden hair, but right now I wasn't worried about it. We watched the scene in front of us. There were a lot of people here by now, all gathering around the demolished vehicle I was in about thirty minutes ago or so. Actually I didn't know how long ago it was. One minute I was there, and then I was here.

My heart suddenly froze at what I saw. Mommy's body was being dragged out of the wreckage. She wasn't moving. She just looked like a huge sack, being carried over a fire-fighter's shoulder like that. I clung onto Jan's arm and whimpered.

"I-is mommy going to be okay…?"

Jan didn't answer. He just watched. A blank expression on his face once again but I could tell by the tears cascading down his cheeks that he was frightened.

A lady in a bright green coat approached us, a sorry look on her face. She knelt down in front of me and Jan, placing her hand on my tiny shoulder.

"Your mother… she…she's not going to be coming home with you tonight..." she said in a very soothing tone, but it wasn't soothing me at all.

Jan muttered, "w-what?"

"She's hurt very badly," the lady explained. She was probably a paramedic or something, since she seemed like she knew it all. "She won't be able to make it, I'm afraid. I'm so sorry…"

"M-mommy's d-dead?" My quivering mouth was wide open in shock. Jan barely moved either. I started to cry again, burying my face in the sweater sleeve of my brother's arm, clinging for dear life of all I had left of my family.

The lady wrapped her arms around us and tried to comfort us but it wasn't working for me. I could barely breathe from crying so much and my hearing was becoming fuzzy again.

"We need to clean you up, dear," the lady said, trying to turn my face so she could wipe the blood from my little cheeks.

I couldn't remember much from that moment or that night. I didn't even know if the bus driver survived or not. But there was one thing I did know, something I'd have to live with for the rest of my life.

Mommy was dead. And she wasn't going to come home with us tonight.