Just a two-shot I just thought of. I thought that it would be a pretty good subject to touch up on. Read and tell me what you think! =)

Disclaimer: I don't own Mortal Instruments, only The Only Cassandra Clare!

The baby's cries echoed throughout the room, creating a ringing in Jace's ears. He clenched his face at the irritable noise, while Clary bounced their newborn baby boy in her arms. She cooed him with the sweet softness of her humming. She stroked his very fine blonde hair with her one finger. In her eyes he was the most beautiful thing she has ever seen. More beautiful than any painting, any photograph, or every piece of art Clary has ever laid her eyes on. She smiled down at her fussy child; his eyes squeezed shut, and his mouth wide open revealing his toothless gums.

Jace on the other hand wanted to throw something through a wall. The screaming sound coming from that thing in Clary's arms was giving him a headache, and he couldn't stand it any more. He roughly pushed himself off the chair he sat in and stalked across the room. "Jace?" He stopped dead in his tracks, not turning to look at her. "Where are you going?" Jace sighed, and kept his back rigid. He hesitated, not wanting to upset her, but the noise was eating away his brain, and stealing any ounce of time he had wi- "Out!" His voice sounded distant to him, but he didn't turn to look at her. He couldn't, he knew if he saw the hurt in her eyes he'd succumb and apologize. He wasn't ready to give up his pride yet.

He never saw himself as a father, let alone a father as young as he is. Only nineteen years old, and a baby to feed, change, and listen to it scream and scream and scream! He had plans for his life; he planned on ravishing Clary on the kitchen table, the living room, the sofa, and mostly; Luke and Jocelyn's bedroom. No offense to Luke, but unfortunately for him he was married to Jocelyn. And Jace couldn't even begin to express how many times he fantasized about making Jocelyn infuriated due to telling her about the many times he soiled their sheets while blowing his load inside her daughter. Jace would always chuckle silently to himself at the thought. Nonetheless, blowing inside her resulted to this; a screaming, pooping, drooling bundle of joy. One that was going to consume his life, leaving no room for selfish desires.

Upon arriving home the first thing Clary did was lay baby Luka down in his bassinet. She tucked him in tightly and lavished in the beauty of a peaceful sleeping baby. Jace watched with disgust and stormed off to find something to read. Buried in his novel, Jace completely forgot about Clary or the baby, a wake up call came to him as he entered the fifth chapter. Howls and cries filled his ears as Clary entered the room holding that God-awful thing in her arms. Jace dropped the book in his lap and brought his fingers to his temples. Clary caught sight of this and scowled. She had been taking care of Luka all day while Jace ignored them both in the study. And he has a headache? She reached out and grabbed the baby book she came in for, and stormed out of the room with the baby in her arms, and slammed the door behind her.

Jace's heart fell to the pit of his stomach. He knew he was being selfish, and yet he continued to be. He watched her slave around every day to Luka's cries, howls, and stink bombs, he wanted to help, but just couldn't bring himself to care. Damn thing needed to be cared for every second of the day. He most certainly did not sign up for this. He, Jace Lightwood, did not change diapers, and clean drool! He remembered when Clary first told him she was pregnant; it was completely unexpected. He was in such deep shock that by the time he snapped out of it Clary was going into labor and they were rushing their way to the hospital.

"Jace?" The little monster had woken up for the eighth time in the night. Jace tightened the blankets around him every time that little hogging brat opened his mouth to scream. Just shut up! Jace silently begged. How can something so small, be so damn needy? "Can you please get him this time? I've been up so many times, and I don't think I can move anymore." Clary moaned beside him. Jace wanted to help her, he wanted to make her feel better, he loved her so much, but he wanted nothing to do with that thing in the other room. So he thought it would be best if he didn't answer. "Jace?" He didn't answer; he stayed silent as if asleep. He heard her let out a shaky sigh, and slowly rise from bed, disappearing from the bedroom. Was she about to cry? No, of course not? Why would she cry? Clary never came back to bed that night, and Jace had to silently admit to himself that he wanted to cry, and nearly did. He hated the bed without Clary. He was cold and lonely, and all he wanted was Clary with him

Clary visited the Institute with Luka, Jace found every excuse in the dictionary not to be anywhere near Luka, and it was slowly killing her. She loved Jace, she truly did, but if this kept up she would have to leave him. Isabelle bounced little Luka in her arms, the poor baby looked sick, but Clary figured she would let Isabelle have her fun until he spit up all over her. The image would cheer her up. "How's Jace coming along?" Isabelle's tone sounded hesitant, as if she were afraid to ask.

"He's still so distant." Clary looked down into her lap, fiddling with her fingers and holding in her tears. "I don't know what to do." She whispered. "No matter what I do, he just doesn't want anything to do with the baby. I'm afraid if he doesn't come through soon, I'll… I'll-"

"Stop jumping to things Clary!" Isabelle interrupted. "It's just postpartum depression." Clary's head snapped up, and she looked at Isabelle questionably.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Clary shook her head. "Women go through postpartum, not men!" Isabelle rolled her eyes, and pulled poor Luka tightly against her chest. Clary was waiting like Luka was a ticking bomb and ready to belch up his lunch.

"Men sure as hell go through postpartum depression!" Isabelle let out an exaggerated sigh, and rolled her eyes again. She turned slightly so that she was facing Clary. "Look it up! Men do go through postpartum. And does it really surprise you that much? It's Jace!" Clary looked more curious, not entirely believing Isabelle, but willing to listen. "Jace is macho, he's sexy and he knows it. A baby brings down his ego. To him the baby belittles him." This angered Clary, that's not postpartum that's childish. She folded her arms and glared directly at Isabelle, who looked back questionably.

"I am not buying that!" Clary snapped. "So basically he refuses to take his place as a father because Luka cramps his style!" Clary shouted.

"Clary…" Isabelle cooed.

"No!" Clary stood up, her excitement was making Luka cry. Isabelle started rocking him, and caressing him. "I have been getting up with him every night, feeding him, changing him, bathing him!" At this point the tears started flowing, and before she knew it she was hysterical, she was exhausted, and she had enough. "I thought he wanted this!" Clary cried. "I thought we would be a family, but he doesn't want us! If he doesn't want Luka, then he doesn't want me!" Luka was now screaming, but Izzy shoved the pacifier in his mouth, quieting him down.

"Clary, I know this is hard, and you're tired-"

"You're damn right I am tired!" Clary shouted. "I have been practically taking care of him by myself! If he doesn't knock off his shit I am moving back in with my parents!" Isabelle let out a frustrated sigh, and practically shoved the baby back in Clary's arms. It wasn't that she was threatening to leave her brother; it was more on the fact that she was so quick to move out, rather than kick Jace out.

"I think you should figure it out! Not give up and not even attempt to try and fix things, but that's not even the issue.-"

"What-" Clary tried to interrupt, but Isabelle wouldn't have it.

"You are so quick to move back in with mommy and daddy because they'll help you with the baby. Just remember there are plenty of girls out there who don't even have that option. If you ask me you're taking the easy way out. If you hate Jace so much then kick him out! Don't be a spoiled brat and go running to mommy and daddy!" And like that Isabelle stood up and left a gaping Clary alone to think amongst herself. How dare Isabelle speak to her like that? Almost like she felt like this was all her fault. It was Jace's fault! He was the one being a neglectful father, and a neglectful boyfriend. She was the one doing all the work around the house, who was she to insult her?

Jace arrived home to find Clary sitting and feeding the baby in the living room. Did she have to feed him in the living room? Soon he will start crying, and then start vomiting all over the place, and then Clary will make him clean it up. He let out a groan as he tried to stalk past her, but of course Clary would not have it. "Jace!" Her voice sounded so excited to know he was home, guilt filled his stomach with the idea of knowing she still cared. "Good news!" She said as Jace turned to face her. "I will be able to wean Luka from breast feeding soon. He's almost five months, and he's been wanting to eat more often, the doctor said that I should start gradually now. That way you can start feeding him too." She smiled sweetly at Jace, looking excited at the fact that he would be able to help out more, but Jace wanted to bang his head up against a brick wall. He decided to hide what he was really feeling, and showed a weak smile instead. However, Clary knew the smile was forced, but was a bit relieved at the idea that he was actually going to try.

For the hell of it, Clary decided to research the idea of men having postpartum depression. She was inside Jace's study while he was out, and Luka was taking a nap. She opened up psychology books, chemistry, and some of her baby books just to look up postpartum for women. But what came as a surprise to Clary was the fact that she actually came across the idea of men having postpartum in her baby book!

The term was actually paternal postnatal depression. One of the main points the book was giving was that men were always taught not to be depressed. When people think of depression, they think of sad people, crying, loneliness, but the book actually pointed that depression can appear in many different forms, especially with men! It could come in fear, anger, violent outrages, or even well hidden. Most men are given the idea that men are not supposed to have depression. It was considered weak, and unmasculine for men to express such emotions. Even in modern times men are strictly taught to be the man of the house, therefore no crying, and no pouting. Man up!

Despite all this information, Clary couldn't help but agree. Man up! She was the one that was tired, exhausted, and carried the damn kid for nine months. Who was he to be depressed? It should be her who is depressed! It should be her who is resentful of him! It should be her who is resentful of the baby. Of course as soon as she finished these thoughts the next section of the chapter stated that women tend to take on a selfish streak during a men's postpartum, but not to be hard on one's self, she had to take care of the infant, and everyone knows that children come first. The book goes on to explain that the women need to understand that it is just as hard for the men as it is for the wome-

Clary slammed the book shut, she had read enough maybe she was being a little sexist, but who could blame her at this time? Later Clary got Luka up and dressed for her parent's house for a little visit. She couldn't wait to see them; she knew that they would take her side, unlike a crappy friend such as Isabelle. She arrived at her old home, and carefully took Luka out of his car seat. She held him close as she entered the house, to be immediately greeted by her mother. The woman held her tightly and didn't waste time to tear Luka from her arms, which slightly pissed Clary off, but she just pushed it aside and entered the house. Clary told both of them about Jace, and how he has been acting. Of course her mother couldn't wait to slander his name. Talking about how she told Clary that he was no good, and that the best thing to do was to leave him. These were signs of him being just like Valentine, leave him before it's too late.

Clary thought that someone who was on her side would make her feel better, but it only made her feel worse. She thought once the pregnancy was over she wouldn't be emotional anymore, but to her dismay she began cries of hysteria due to her mother's words.

"Oh dear, don't cry. I know what it's like to be heart broken by the man you love."

"Oh shut the fuck up, Jocelyn!" Clary snapped.

"Excuse me?"

"You married a psycho-baby-killing-world-dominating-sociapath! Jace is none of those things, he loves me, and he loves his son too! He just doesn't know…" Clary trailed off, she just couldn't speak anymore. The whole thing was weighing down on her. She buried her face in her hands, and in response Luka started screaming, which only made Clary feel worse.

"Clary honey, I know you're hurt, but he-"

"I don't think that any of this is about Jace!" Clary yelled. "You just like making me feel like shit. You act like I wanted to be with a terrible person. Well, what about you! You were too fucking stupid to know what he was up to! Not to mention maybe Jace wouldn't have been raised by him if it weren't for your actions!" Clary yelled.

"And what exactly do you mean by that?" Jocelyn's eyes were icy cold.

"Maybe instead of running from your problems, you should've faced them! Stephen wouldn't have been murdered, and Celine wouldn't have killed herself with a growing baby inside of her, because you decided to be a selfish fucking bitch and run off!"

"I DID WHAT I DID FOR YOU!" Jocelyn yelled.

"Maybe you did." Clary's voice was now becoming deadly calm. "But that doesn't change the fact that because of you, many were hurt and killed! But you obviously don't care about that! I am NOT like you, I will save anyone who deserves saving. And Jace was an innocent child who deserved saving just as much as I did!" Jocelyn was dead silent, but fire practically roared in her green irises. She stood up abruptly with a screaming Luka in her arms.

"I am taking him in the bedroom, you are scaring him, and making him hysterical!" Jocelyn went to leave, Clary stood up fiercely and began shouting at the top of her lungs.

"He is my child! Stop pretending he is not, if you ever want to see him again!" She felt Luke's soft hand wrap around her upper arm and had her sit back down. Luke rubbed her back, and let her cry on his shoulder. He was always easier to talk to. Always. And Clary sometimes wished that he literally truly were her father; just because Luke deserved it more than anyone in the world. Sure he was to Clary and always has been, but she just wished that the blood actually tied. "I know you are angry…" Luke finally began to speak as he stroked her hair, and let her face be buried in his shoulder. His shirt was soaked with her tears, her head was hurting, and her eyes were sore, but she just couldn't stop the water flow. "and I must agree that you're mother is being…" He trailed off, trying to find more appropriate words to describe the episode. "unreasonable. But you're only stressing the baby."

"That's another thing…" Clary cried against his shirt. "He's always crying. Everything makes him cry, a breath of wind, the vibration of my phone, everything. I know I am a bad mother!"

"Oh no…" Luke cooed, and forced her to look at him.

"But I can't even stand when my child cries."

"Clary," Luke stopped her. "Who the hell on God's green earth told you that this was going to be easy? Children don't come with an instruction manual. You basically have to learn as you go, just like them. Of course all the crying is going to bother you, and stress you out. It's normal, it doesn't make you a bad mother."

"Well then Jace is a bad father!" Clary cried. "I wouldn't be feeling like a bad mother if he at least looked interested in his own son!"

"I understand." Luke sighed and made her lean her head against his chest. "I understand that you are exhausted, and stressed, but Jace is too."

"No he's not!" Clary cried like a five year old, but didn't care, it felt nice to feel young and immature again, even if she was crying.

"Clary, I know this may sound crazy, but men-"

"Get postpartum depression, I know!" Clary snapped, with tears still glistening in her eyes. "Isabelle already mentioned it, and I researched it. But it's no excuse!"

"Clary…" Luke sighed sadly. "Depression isn't a choice or a mood, it's a condition. So many people don't understand this, and it's quite all right, it's normal not to understand, you are not a doctor after all. But what Jace is going through isn't his choice. He can't stop the terrible thoughts inside his head, or the achy feeling he gets whenever Luka makes a single noise. Women who get postpartum are known to be extremely normal, until the baby is born. Postpartum is very dangerous, and most doctors will tell you to never leave the child alone with them, in fear that they hurt them. It could've happened to you as easily as it could happen to anyone. No one knows exactly what causes it, but there are some ideas." Clary had calmed down enough to truly listen, and look Luke in the eye.

"Like what?"

"Being as young as the two of you are, is a huge factor in it. You are teen parents."

"What else?" Clary asked, almost afraid to know. Luke's face turned a bit red and he looked away. Clary grew a bit impatient. "Luke! What else!" Luke let out an awkward sigh, and finally turned to look at Clary.

"Lack of sex." Now it was Clary's turn to turn as red as an apple. She looked away and down into her lap, she could hear the faint cries of her son from the other room, and her mother trying to hardest to get him to stop. "Did…" Luke awkwardly cleared his throat. "Did you two have sex during the pregnancy?" Clary slowly shook her head.

"He was afraid to hurt the baby, we did in the beginning, but once I… once I began showing… he was petrified…" She finally looked her father in the face. "Literally petrified." She said.

Later that evening Jace came home and she made him something to eat. He tried to talk her out of cooking him anything, but she insisted. She thought she would try and dig inside his brain while they silently ate together, but he wouldn't budge. She was slowly starting to think that maybe both Luke and Isabelle where right. He wasn't the same Jace at all, and just the idea was an understatement. Alec had mentioned that even when they went hunting he wasn't as fast or as strong. He wasn't witty or arrogant anymore. He barely looked good in the least. He had lost some weight, and stopped taking care of his long curly locks. His hair wasn't shiny anymore, like sparkles of gold in the light. Instead it looked more like a dirty ashy color, his eyes were more of a brown hue these days. He didn't eat much, and now that she took the time to study his features, he looked sad. She always mistook his looks as anger and annoyance, but now that she was really looking at him, the emotion she was witnessing was sadness. And though she tried to get him to talk about it, he wouldn't budge.

Clary washed some dishes and left Jace to finish his food at the table. She went into their bedroom, and decided to be spontaneous. When Jace came in after, she surprised him by popping out from beside the door, and wrapping her arms around Jace's neck. She pressed her lips against his, hoping- begging for Jace to respond. To Clary's happiness Jace returned the kiss. His hands went to her waist, his fingers massaging the skin there. Clary smiled against his lips, she was so thrilled to have some kind of reaction from him. She let her tongue run along his bottom lip, asking for entrance. Jace consented and his tongue entered her mouth, exploring every part of her. Clary clung her fingers to his shirt, and tugged on it to bring them flush against each other. As much as Jace missed touching her, and kissing her, he had absolutely no interest in sex right now. He just wanted to go to sleep, and secretly pray that the monster in the other room didn't wake them again. If he could just get one night of sleep, maybe he would be able to stop thinking all of these dreadful thoughts. Jace pushed her away, and looked down at the ground, not willing to look her in the eye. "I'm sorry, Clary." Jace whispered, then walked to one side of the bed, removing his weapons belt, jacket, and boots. "I just… can't tonight." Or any other night. He thought lonely. Clary nodded, trying her hardest to hide the deep hurt she was feeling deep within her heart. He didn't want the baby, and now he didn't even want her….

Clary was woken in the middle of the night by their son's screams again. He never slept a whole way through, and he was almost six months old now, something has got give, she thought to herself. She sat up in bed and was about to head to the baby's room when she realized Jace wasn't in bed. Then the baby monitor rang out, and she heard Jace's voice on the other end. Between Luka's screams, and whatever Jace was saying, she couldn't make it out, so she tip-toed down the hall and peeked inside the baby's room.

There was Jace, sitting in the middle of the floor holding their son and crying hysterical. Tears and snot soaked Jace's face as he rocked back and forth with a screaming child in his arms. It was hard to understand him at first until Jace just finally started begging.

"Please just stop!" He cried. "I beg you, just stop! I just want one night without you screaming! Please!" Jace cried harder. "I'll do anything, just stop!" Clary brought a hand to her mouth in shock. She had never seen Jace this vulnerable before. The tears in his eyes were so heavy, he might as well be a crying eight year old child.

"Why do you do this?" Jace asked. Do what? Clary wondered. "There has to be a reason to why you think it's fair to do this!" Jace cried. "All you do is scream, who the fuck screams this much!" Jace yelled. "I don't care how little you are! There is only so much someone can take! You have to have killed your vocal chords by now!" He was still rocking back and forth, at first Clary thought he was trying to rock the baby, but now she thinks he was just losing his mind.

"Why did you have to come into my life and ruin everything!" He yelled. "I didn't ask for this!" Jace sobbed, the baby's face was soaked, but at this point Clary was convinced that it was from Jace's tears instead of his own. "I just want Clary, not you! I don't want you! I want her, but she wants you!" Jace cried. "She loves you more than me, and I hate it, I hate you!" Then Jace bent his head over to cry on the poor infants stomach. "But I don't want to! I know I am terrible for hating you, and I'm sorry, but I do, I can't help it, I do! I hate you! I want things to go back to the way they were. I want her all to myself!" The baby was finally getting quiet, he was letting out a few hiccups and sniffs, while Jace still sobbed away. Soon the baby finally stopped crying, while just making simple baby noises, while Jace continued to sob above him.

"I'm sorry…" Jace repeated over and over. "I'm sorry… I don't want to hate you, but I do… I am so confused… I have never been this confused… you do this to me!" Jace told Luka. While the baby reached up and ran his fingers over Jace's face. Finally Clary thought it was time to emerge in the room, as slowly as she could. However, she forgot Jace's sensitive hearing, and he whipped around to see her, barely in the door. He scooted back against the crib with Luka still in his arms. She had a better view of Jace's face now. It was filthy of tears, and his eyes were red and swollen. She came in the room and bent down to Jace's level.

"Jace."

"You weren't supposed to see this…" Jace tried to make his voice even, but he failed as it shook in his throat. Clary held out her hands, asking for the baby.

"Let me see Luka." She said. Then suddenly Jace's effort to keep up his façade ended, and he held the baby tighter in his arms.

"I wasn't going to hurt him, I swear!" He cried. "I was just trying to get him to stop!"

"I didn't say you were going to hurt him, Jace." Clary said softly. "I just want to feed him." Jace shook his head, while more tears spilt over.

"No, you think I will hurt him, you're going to take him, and leave me, aren't you?" Now tears were stinging Clary's eyes. He was convinced that she was going to leave him, and giving the baby over meant that she was gone. She wouldn't leave, even if she wanted to. She wanted to help him get through this. They were a family, and family never give up on each other.

"No." Clary said firmly, with tears dripping down her chin. "I will never leave you! And I don't think you would ever hurt Luka, no matter how much you don't like him."

"I didn't mean that when I said it!" Jace cried out. "I-I-I was just angry!"

"Jace!" Clary snapped a bit. "Just please give me the baby."

"Don't leave me!" He countered.

"I wont!" She said it as sternly as possible, hoping he would believe her. But it seemed to have worked, reluctantly Jace handed her the baby, Clary went and sat on the rocking chair, and started to feed him. She was humming to him, rocking back and forth as the baby fed from her breast. Clary didn't quite know what to say to Jace, and he obviously didn't know either. She still didn't say a word as she continued to feed their son.

"Doe it hurt?" Jace finally spoke. Clary looked up to see Jace still sitting in the same position she left him in.

"No," She smiled. "It sort of tickles, but soon he'll have teeth, that's why I want to start weaning him soon." Jace just nodded and looked straight ahead at nothing. Tears were falling down her face, but Jace didn't know, because she was keeping it calm. Her voice continued to hum, but without a single waver in her throat. She was shocked with herself to be frank. Luke and Isabelle were right, Jace had postpartum. The way he had just acted was not normal in the least. But she knew he wouldn't hurt Luka, and even if he would, she had to show that she trusted him or else they would never make it past this. One thing's for certain she had to make one thing clear. She turned and looked at the man she loved again, who still sat motionless. She was sure he was embarrassed and ashamed that she witnessed his mental breakdown. But she would continue to support him no matter what!

"Jace?" He didn't move, but that didn't stop her from telling him what she needed to tell him. "I don't love him more…" His eyes adverted in her direction. "I love you…" her voice finally wavered. "I love you so much! But I love both of you! Okay?" Jace showed more signs of tears, as he began to sob again.

"I wouldn't hurt him…" he said again. "I promise!"

"I know." Clary said before looking back down at their boy who was slowly falling asleep with her nipple still inside his mouth.

"Clary?" She looked back.

"I love you too…"

So what do you think so far? It's just a two-shot, so one more chapter. It's taking me a while to write this one too, cause it required a lot of research, but yeah men do get postpartum depression, it's just a little different than how women get it. I read a few articles about men and their experiences on postpartum, a lot of them did what Jace just did. Quietly and secretly break down on the floor of their kid's bedrooms. I actually figured Jace was the best example of this, due to his lack of good childhood, it seems pretty in character for him. I may have pushed it to the extreme, but hey... it's a short story. What 'based on a true story' movie isn't exaggerated? lol. Please tell me what you guys think =)